The writer, David Biderman, subjected himself to every team's home broadcast last Friday, using a tally counter to add up how many words the play-by-play men spoke during the game's first scoreless inning. Vin Scully came in first, at 143.51 words per minute — maybe Jeff Kent was right! — though that's relatively pithy for someone manning the broadcast booth all by his lonesome. The Cardinals' Dan McLaughlin checks in at No. 2, at 109.93 words per minute. Biderman writes:

Mr. McLaughlin drove up his word count with a riff comparing Albert Pujols to Babe Ruth (based on how many extra-base-hits each player had in his first 500 at-bats), as well as expressing the opinion that Chris Duncan, a former Cardinal, was cut too quickly by the Boston Red Sox.

The Nationals' Bob Carpenter (102.33), the Reds' George Grande (102.06) and the Diamondbacks' Daron Sutton (100.36) round out the top five, well ahead of yammering blowhard Michael Kay, who metes out his pomposities at 73.4 words per minute. Ken Harrelson of the White Sox is a few notches beneath him, at 70.98 words per, which is actually impressive when you consider that those words comprise nothing but "he" and "gone." In last is the Giants' Duane Kuiper, who snuck in 55.44 per minute after someone woke him from his nap.

Meet Baseball's Chattiest TV Announcers [Wall Street Journal]

To get you even more into the spirit of matters, The Love Of Sports tracks down the closests 1-16 games in tournament history. Everyone remembers the Georgetown-Princeton game, but people forget that a year later, Murray State actually took Michigan State to overtime. During the Illini's Final Four season three years ago, they only led Fairleigh Dickinson by one at halftime, and we were officially terrified.

Will anyone ever pull off the 1-16 upset? We're looking at you, Portland State.

Your NCAA Announcing Schedule [Awful Announcing]
Closest Calls In Tournament History [The Love Of Sports]