Deadspin: bruce chen

Bruce Chen's Funny Bone

Leitch — Mon, 17 Apr 2006 16:15:32 EDT

Baseball teams will try all kinds of things to keep the attention of fans at the ballpark, particularly if it's something that has nothing to do with baseball. Last year in Pittsburgh, the jumbotron would show paintings each player had draw, leading to the wonderous discovery of Zach Duke's unique talent. Apparently, at Camden Yards this year, they're trying something new: Bruce Chen's Comedy Stylings.

Orioles' pitching has been a joke. One that's not that funny. Now an Orioles pitcher is making jokes. Ones that aren't that funny. Take the Bruce Chen Joke of the Day, please.

"What do you do with a one-legged dog?" Chen asks Camden Yards fans via the JumboTron. "Take him for a drag."

"Why did the bicycle keep falling over? Because it was too tired."

We find it disappointing that a pitcher of Chen's quality cannot come up with at least a decent knock-knock joke. Though we have a feeling that Chen might benefit from a late-night jam session with a colleague. Perhaps, say, Kaz Tadano.

Heard The One About The 4.97 ERA? [Baltimore Sun]

Your "Winner" Is ...

Leitch — Fri, 28 Oct 2005 15:45:24 EDT

The results are in, and Deadspin readers have spoken. The most likely athlete candidate to come out of the closet is ... Kordell Stewart!

It was an extremely close race, and we thank all competitors for playing. Hey, it's an honor to be nominated.

The final results:

• 1. Kordell Stewart. 27.3 percent, 217 votes
• 2. Mike Piazza. 26.4 percent, 206 votes
• 3. Peyton Manning. 23.8 percent, 186 votes
• 4. Tony Stewart. 14.4 percent, 112 votes
• 5. Bruce Chen. 8.1 percent, 63 votes

We think Chen would have finished higher, but, as some of you have pointed out, most people don't know who that is.

Cultural Oddsmaker: Next Prominent Gay Athlete [Oddjack]

Half-Hour Left To Vote!

Leitch — Fri, 28 Oct 2005 14:10:55 EDT

Polls are closing at 1:45 Eastern Time for our first gay athlete to come out poll. The race is tight right now, and your vote could make all the difference. We'll announce the results later this afternoon.

Make your voice heard ... if you dare!

Vote: First Gay Athlete To Come Out [Deadspin]

Vote: First Gay Athlete To Come Out?

Leitch — Thu, 27 Oct 2005 17:45:00 EDT

All right, we promised you a poll, and here's your poll, our first ever on Deadspin. The question: Who's the most likely athlete to come out of the closet first, based off Oddjack's Cultural Oddsmaker, which laid down the odds on five most likely suspects to be the first "out" athlete.

You can see the most likely suspects right there. You can only vote once, so, you know, sorry Peyton, you can stop trying to load up the bots to vote for Piazza right now.

The poll will be up until 4 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, so make your voice heard, because nothing says "National Barometer Of Public Opinion" than a poll on a Web site.

Cultural Oddsmaker: Who's The Next Gay Athlete?

Leitch — Thu, 27 Oct 2005 15:07:52 EDT

With Sheryl Swoopes' earth-shaking announcement that she was (no!) a lesbian, tongues are wagging (sorry) about who the next — i.e., actually surprising — athlete to come out of the closet will be. Our friends at Oddjack have helpfully lay out the odds on five heavily rumored to be gay athletes, picking the favorites, and why.

We'll be doing our first ever Deadspin Poll on this later this afternoon, but for now, just enjoy Oddjack's arguments for Bruce Chen, Kordell Stewart, Mike Piazza, Tony Stewart and, of course, Peyton Manning.

Personally, our money's on Kordell, but, then again, it always has been.

Cultural Oddsmaker: Next Prominent Gay Athlete [Oddjack]
Peyton Manning Going All Brokeback Mountain On Us? [Deadspin]
Kordell Stewart Is Back And, So You Know, Still Not Gay [Deadspin]