A fellow named Josh Fitz believes he's found that proof. You'll see, first of all, that Dick Jauron is curiously absent from a photo that makes room for everyone from Ralph Wilson Jr. to the assistant equipment manager to something called Gibran Hamdan. Fitz writes:

1. Xavier Oman (#44) is in the photo. He was waived on 11/11. Jauron wasn't fired until 11/17. This photo couldn't have been taken after his firing.

2. Ralph and Brandon seem to be a little off-center. It seems that the logical place for Dick to be standing is right next to Ralph, where the three would be perfectly centered in the photo.

3. Who is in that spot? Jairus Byrd. And he seems larger than normal. In the photo he looks slightly taller than #29 next to him (Drayton Florence). Except Byrd is listed at 5′ 10″ and Florence is 6′ 0″. See a zoomed-in photo

4. Take a look at #29's right ear. He seems to have some extra pixel's… either that, or Kawika Mitchell has a seriously weird forearm.

Conclusion: The players were digitally shifted over to cover up Jauron's image.

(Emphasis definitely his.)

I don't know. That seems like a lot of work to expunge any trace of a nothingburger like Dick Jauron. Maybe he's just made the sensible decision to stay the hell away from team photos that everyone knows will be obsolete by midseason.

Bills' Former Head Coach Photoshopped Out of Team Photo? [JoshFitz.com, via Two Bills Drive]

* * * * *

Thanks for your continued support of Woodspin. Barry will be on in a second.

That's 86-year-old Bud Adams saluting Buffalo's magnificent fourth-quarter collapse against the Titans on Sunday. Or maybe he was just saying goodbye to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell who watched the game from Adams' owner's box, but presumably left early to beat the private helicopter traffic. Or maybe he wanted to say "We're number one!" but broke his index fingers trying to text knock-knock jokes to his grandchildren. Or maybe he was just telling all those kids to get the hell out of his stadium. He's 86! Who knows why old people do anything they do?

The moral of the story is that Bud Adams is just like every other NFL fan at every NFL game every single Sunday. He should definitely be fined for that.

Bud Adams gives Bills a special salute [Tennessean]
Tennessee Titans owner Bud Adams celebrates win by flipping Buffalo Bills the bird [ESPN]
Titans owner Bud Adams makes obscene gesture during win vs. Bills [USA Today]

The sculpture, part of a fundraising series after a 2006 blizzard felled thousands of trees, was unveiled before yesterday's Bills game. It's 8½ feet tall and weighs half a ton, and required a crane to set up. But after the game it was nowhere to be found. After losing 6-3 to the Browns, can you blame wooden Thurman for fleeing the vicinity?

But this story has a happy ending, if you consider an ongoing pattern of attempted vandalism by Bills fans happy. A Canadian man says he has the statue, but only took it to rescue it from a group of people trying to set it on fire.

So, in case you're keeping tally of the pros and cons of the potential Toronto Bills:

•Canadians will break the law to protect the honor of a beloved Bills legend.
•Buffalonians will try to burn them in effigy.

Cops: Missing Thurman Thomas Statue Located [TMZ]

The fact that their team had Tom Brady and mighty Patriots against a wall and literally fumbled the game away in the final two minutes? Whatever! It happens, right? Sure, kick returner Leodis McKelvin probably could have taken a knee or even gone down after that first hit and then maybe he wouldn't have handed Tom Brady the rope by which could he could hang his entire team. I mean, it's only Week One, right? GAH! WHAT THE HELL, BUFFALO?

Is McKelvin sorry about what happened? You bet your ass he isn't.

"If I ever had another chance, I would probably do the same thing," he said. "Next time I get the opportunity I am going to hold on and make a better decision. If it happens next week, I am going to do it again, and you never know what will happen. I may break two and have the best game of my career. I am very disappointed. You don't need to have turnovers at the end of the game."

No. No, you don't need that at all.

McKelvin: I'd do 'same thing' [Buffalo News]
Bungling Bills blow big lead [London Free Press]
Pilgrims' Progress (Where the Buffalo Fumble) [Metroville]
An Open Letter to Leodis McKelvin [Jurisprudential Misadventures]
Leodis McKelvin Shines in Pats Win [Dirty Wudders]
T.O. a No-Show in Bills Debut [Fanhouse]

1. The K-Gun is back! Wait, who's the QB? FUCK. I'm totally jazzed that the Bills have decided to bring back the nonstop no huddle offense. Because if you're going to go three-and-out, why waste time? Seriously though, the Bills had one of the most exciting offenses in league history during the early 1990's, Super Bowl losses aside. I remember when the K-Gun was first introduced, and you could see some of the defenses reacting like, "Whoa, wait a second. They're not huddling! They're not letting us rest! That should be, like, illegal and shit!" It was a blast to watch, and it always saddened me that so few other teams have had the stones to do it since. Running the K-Gun means entrusting all play-calling duties to your QB, and no head coach outside of Indy could ever possibly allow that. No, no. We'd hate to macromanage a team like that.

So the K-Gun is back this year in Buffalo, and that SOUNDS like a promising development. Until you see that the guy pulling the trigger is an average-in-every-way player destined to become a journeyman, bouncing from team to team like so many Chris Millers. While head coaches are wrong to not sometimes hand the fate of their offense over to the QB, they're justified in NOT handing it over to someone like Trent Edwards, who has all the authority of a ferris wheel operator. AND the team traded their left tackle in the offseason. So you're trying to duplicate the glory of the team's 1990's offense with a shaky o-line and an average QB. This can't end well. Against the Packers last week, the first team offense (minus TO) turned the ball over four times in the first half and gained 87 total yards. Not a single drive went longer than six plays. Edwards' passer rating for the game was 34.3. I AM USING STATS TO MAKE A PRESCIENT OBSERVATION. By October, they'll be huddling once more, reverting back to the faceless, utterly bland Bills teams of the 2000's to which you've become so accustomed.

2. Offense aside, those 1990's teams were really fucking annoying. Let's face it, by that second Super Bowl loss to Washington, I think we had all had just about enough of the Bills dominating the AFC. That team, at the time, had an unusual habit of pulling every important AFC game of their asses, right before heading to the Super Bowl and shitting the bed. The worst of these, of course, was the big comeback against the Oilers. That was a really good Oilers team. I would have liked to see what they would have done if they had gone further in the playoffs that year. But nooooo. No, the Bills had to go and win. AGAIN. God, they fucking ruined everything. The Bills are responsible for a three-game stretch of Super Bowls so awful, so utterly unwatchable, that they still deserve your scorn for disgracing the main stage with their presence. And they weren't likable guys, either. Thurman Thomas was moody. Bruce Smith was ornery. Who was the center of that team? Kent Hull? Yeah, well fuck him too. Then there's the team's biggest cheerleader…

3. You're with them, asshole. The Bills are ground zero for all of Chris Berman's bizarre bouts of favoritism and annoying phrase coinage. That whole "nobody circles the wagons" bullshit should have been retired after the Music City Miracle. The Bills do not circle the wagons anymore. They hire Dick Jauron, and then they lay down and fucking die. I don't understand how Berman is allowed to blatantly root on the air for this team time and time again. As if it's some cute little trait of his that gets excused just because he is who he is. Eat shit, Berman. Eat shit and die.

4. You ever been to Buffalo? Holy shit, there is nothing to do in that town except eat and marry someone you don't really love. The only reason to go there is for some kind of wing pilgrimage. I've had the wings there. They're wings. They may have originated there, but you can get them in other, cooler places now. And they're just as good. Otherwise, the only purpose Buffalo serves is to give Weather Channel anchors an erection during the months of November through March. "AND HOW ABOUT BUFFALO, GANG?! TWENTY INCHES OF SNOW! I'M ROCK HARD!"

5. The readers have their say. Hoo boy. You people really don't like this team. From Bill:

At training camp, Dick Jauron always wears a straw hat that looks like he is going big game hunting in Ethiopia. Then, as if there wasn't enough material to work with, the stoic one sounds like Ronald Reagan on Quaaludes during press conferences.

From Robert:

I'll be brief. Their owner doesn't even know what day it is. They gave Rob Johnson a contract. They made Rob Johnson their starting QB. They harassed their head coach's family so much that he had to quit for fear of their safety. Not a Sunday goes by without a post game news report of some minority race being beaten almost to death leaving the stadium. They would rather play in Canada. Marshawn Lynch runs over people, drags them across town and then pulls into his garage and calls it a night. Sports Illustrated called it America's most losing city. They perfected the cooking of bird scraps. Labatts, Tim Hortons, and a 50 person brawl at Mighty Taco on a Friday night is considered "pregame".

From Brian:

10 years without playoffs, yet they sold more season tickets this year than any year since 93? Really? Way to reward mediocrity Bills fans. I dumped my season tickets right at the point of the Mularkey to Jauron transition, which ranks just slightly behind Ford to Carter as history's greatest lose-lose scenarios.

The local sports talk site has TO's Tweets listed on its front page.

Ralph Wilson. Those who say Al Davis looks like Mason Verger from Hannibal need to pay some serious attention. He'll spend 49 million dollars on Derrick Dockery, but won't shell out 6 or 7 million for a proven coach. Success in the NFL be damned, he'll do things his way.

Its sacrilege in this town to criticize Berman. This team is holding on tightly to Berman after its only other nationally significant fan bit it (Tim Russert).

Jim Kelly threw his wife down a staircase, Bruce Smith has multiple DUI's and never gave a shit enough to go to training camp, and Thurman's been in rehab. These guys weren't all that amazing.

OJ Simpson was the team's only half decent player for an entire decade.

A local site (buffalorumblings.com) is putting together an all time 50 greatest Buffalo Bills list. Joe Ferguson is on it. That would be equivalent to the Steelers having Bubby Brister on their list.

From Mike:

I love the Bills. Seriously, they're great. Got an ex-Pro Bowler with a giant fork sticking out of his back? Throw a trench coat on him, and trade him to the Bills! Got a neat trick play that you want to try out? It'll work on the Bills! You're the reincarnation of Chad "I have JV High School Arm Strength" Pennington? Congratulations, the Bills have committed to you as their long-term starter!

From Humberto:

I had a girl housemate back then from Buffalo. They had just lost their fourth consecutive Super Bowl, which she bore with a sense of pride that only someone from a frosty, rusting, rapidly depopulating shithole could muster. She still lorded, with no sense of irony, her awesome "FOUR-TIME AFC CHAMPIONS" t-shirt around town, and proudly announced that the Bills' slogan that year would be "Strive for Five!"

Also, please mention that they never looked as good as they did in their Hall of Fame Game throwbacks this year. Every 10 years or so, they redesign their uniforms. Every redesign has been a step backwards. By 2030 they'll be playing in uniforms that look like something Marv Levy coughed up after climbing a flight of stairs.

From Robert S:

One time I was going through some old home videos, and I found a series of tapes that was a shot of my dad and his friends watching Super Bowl XXV. Between the wings, the Labatt, and easily five grown-ass men in Bills Zubaz, it was a nice window into the past, but it was kinda shitty knowing that I was going to watch my drunken father's hopes and dreams be crushed at the end of the game. But holy shit it delivered. After Norwood missed nobody talked for two minutes, then a little bit of crying, and then a guy threw up. That's the end of the video. I can't think of any metaphor for Buffalo, New York more perfect than that.

From Scott:

My ex when asked what was your favorite football team was she said "Buffalo Bills and the Dallas Cowboys" as shocked as I was I had to ask her what her problem was? To like both of those teams is like telling me your Favorite Flavor of ice cream is chocolate and vanilla you just can't do that its wrong. We broke up a week later.

And Nick C:

Every year, with a bunch of friends, we travel about 6 hours up to Buffalo for the Dolphins-Bills game up at as my Bills friends call 'The Ralph'.

Take away the awesome tailgating, you feel like you are stuck in a fucking time-warp whenever you go up north. Girls in jeans with no pockets on the ass, shit that went out of style 7 years ago. (Ed Note: On the right girl, I still find this kinda hot.) The girls think it's cool to dress like Britney Spears did in 1999 and to top it off when they see you wearing an out of towns colors they tell you to 'suck their dick'. This happens to me at least five times every time I head up to 'The Ralph'. I didn't know one place could have so many hermaphrodites.

So there you have it. Inept offense. Hermaphrodites.

Wanna be part of the Deadspin NFL previews? It's simple. Just email me here and give me some reasons why the team you hate most sucks. If it's because you dated a fan of the team and she turned out to be some crazy bitch who keyed your car, all the better. I'll throw any good material into the post and give you proper credit. We've got the AFC North, and the Chiefs to go.

Twitter is aflame with rumors of an impending deal between the disgraced quarterback and the semi-disgraced team. He's been seen at the airport! He's at a hospital in Rochester! He's at One Bills Drive! He's in the back seat of your car! RadarOnline, that treasure trove NFL insider news has confirmed it .... EXCLUSIVE. Why won't you listen to me?

Is it because the Bills have said six times today that they are not interested in signing Vick? Or because there is no evidence that Vick is anywhere near any stop on the Erie Canal? Maybe you're just a puppet for The Man, because I get my news from the internet. Specifically, Rich Eisen.

That is crazy! Who would even hint at such a thing!

Oh. Right. (P.S. This is exactly the kind of thing ESPN's much-aligned "social media policy" is intended to avoid. This is why broadcasters can't have nice things.)

Anyway, all the rumors appear to be false—but that doesn't mean they won't someday be true! Give it enough time and anything can become a reality. At the very least Adam Schefter's brain might explode.

Bills say they are not in the Vick sweepstakes [AP]
Rich Eisen (richeisen) [Twitter]
Michael Vick: Bills call press conference, Vick related? [RotoWorld]
Rumors fly of Vick to Buffalo [PFT]
Could it really be? [KSK]

However—in my defense—I am a fucking moron. I mean, just look at some of my patented "sleeper" fantasy football picks:

—Carnell Williams '06
("Trust me, he'll bounce back. Yep, the future looks pret-ty bright for Carnell 'Cadillac' Williams.")

—Some Green Bay Running Back Whose Name I Don't Even Remember '07
("Well, I've never heard of this guy. But someone is going to run the ball in Green Bay, correct? And this fellow, is a football player, correct? I really don't see how I could regret this.")

—Robert Royal '08
("According to BuffaloBills.com, Trent Edwards was practicing routes with him in the off-season! In the off-season! Can you imagine the chemistry??? They think with one mind, they beat with one heart—when one smells of onions, the other smells of onions! How can you go wrong?")

Yeah, so, I'm not much on foresight. That's not to say that I don't still like Trent Edwards. But in the words of one all too prescient commenter:

Dick Jauron is still your coach right?

Yep, you're fucked again.

Right you are, J-No.

Anyway, since we are going to be spending the day together, a quick rundown of my other allegiances:

Basketball: Pistons

Baseball: 15% Tigers, 5% Phillies, 80% Apathy

College Sports: Michigan

Hockey: Theoretically - Sabres. Actually – Apathy.

Ages of Man: Bronze Age (easy)

Fictitious Deadspin Editor of Yore: a tie between Abraham "Winky" McTaggart and Benito Mussolini

Basketball move that everyone thinks is garbage but I can actually do pretty consistently: The one where I do kind of a reverse layup over my head after coming through the lane—not because it's a good shot, but because I can't finish (or start for that matter) with my left hand.

Favorite Erin Andrews Fantasy: Our eyes lock. I rip away her microphone, she rips off my nacho hat, and we make love—not once, not twice, but 2.5 times. She quits her job at ESPN, and we rent a small bohemian love nest in Greenwich Village, where we reinvent ourselves in a world of bongos, cheap hashish, and free-verse poetry. After two tumultuous years we finally break up following a three-hour screaming match in the sculpture garden at MOMA.

If you're wondering whether all of my erotic fantasies involve a three-hour screaming match in the sculpture garden at MOMA, the answer is yes.

Right. Let's do this.

Judging by the reception Owens got at the local airport last night, you'd think he was the biggest thing to hit The Nickel City since hot wings. There were cheerleaders, autograph seekers, even a guy dressed as a box of popcorn—all there in the middle of the night to see the greatest show on Earth wait in baggage claim. Is Upstate New York that desperate for entertainment?

Of course, this all makes excellent fodder for Owens' new reality show that started filming ... let's see ... last night! Do you think everyone in that crowd currently holds the title of VH1 "production assistant" or just the popcorn guy? Either way, T.O. is a one-man publicity wrecking crew that will certainly sell some red and blue t-shirts this summer—and it seems that the good, hearty people up there have no qualms playing the extras in his little fantasy world.

(This is what's known as the "love" part of the love/hate relationship. The first time he freaks out after a Trent Edwards post pass is airmailed over his head, then we'll see how giggly everyone is down at Jim's Steakout.)

Mayor Byron Brown is even giving Owens the key to the city today, despite the fact that the guy has not played a single down in a Bills uniform yet. I guess when your local heroes are all drunks, masturbators, crap rockers, Chloe Sevigny fellatio victims or Jim Kelly, a egomaniac crybaby sounds like a pretty good upgrade.

Owens Brings Limelight To A City Accustomed To Darkness [Buffalo Bills Insider]
Terrell Owens brings a reality show to Buffalo, whether it's ready or not [Gene Wojciechowski]
T.O. takes field with Buffalo Bills [Democrat and Chronicle]

Smith, who now works in real estate, was charged with the DUI, refusing to take a DUI test, and speeding. This is apparently Smith's third DUI arrest, the first two occurring back in 1997 and 2003. Smith released the following statement yesterday:

I apologize to my family, friends and fans. I acknowledge my responsibility as a role model, and drinking and driving under any circumstance is wrong. I plan on taking steps to insure this never happens again.

Or, at his current pace, at least not until 2015.

Former NFL star Bruce Smith arrested and charged with DUI [WVEC]

Or at least to those who reside there during football season. Buffalo's Corey McIntyre was arrested this past Thursday for allegedly masturbating outside of a 59-year-old woman's home in Port St. Lucie, Florida earlier this year. Athletes - they're just like us!

The full details of the alleged incident are available in the police report, but the gist of it appears to be that back on March 20th, the alleged victim was sitting at her computer when she heard a knock at her rear window. Curious, she went to the window, where she was surprised to find a man masturbating. An officer spotted McIntyre riding his bike in the area, and the woman subsequently i.d.'d him. The police finally got around to arresting him this week.

The alleged incident occurred at 8:30 in the morning.

McIntyre's agent, Brett Tessler, is denying the incident took place, claiming that "Corey McIntyre is one of the highest character people around and the last guy who would do what he is being accused of."

Regardless of how this one sorts itself out, between this and the Marshawn Lynch suspension (which he's now appealing), it's certainly been an eventful off-season for the Bills' backfield. If you're Dick Jauron, I'm betting the stabilizing veteran leadership of one Mr. Terrell Owens can't get there quick enough.

Buffalo Bills player Corey McIntyre arrested in exposure case in Port St. Lucie [TC Palm]
High Character Fridays 2: REAL LIFE [Dear God Why Us Sports]
Bills RB Lynch appeals NFL's 3-game suspension [AP]

Kemp was a congressman from 1970-88 and served as the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development under the first President Bush. He is probably best known, however, as Bob Dole's 1996 VP nominee. Before all that, though, he was the All-Pro quarterback of the Buffalo Bills, where he led his team to victory in the 1964 and 1965 AFL Championships.

Kemp is survived by his wife, children, and grandchildren.

Jack Kemp, star of field and politics, dies at 73 [NY Times]
A salute to Jack Kemp [Shutdown Corner]

Whitner and Ginn (who currently plays for the Dolphins) were teammates at both Glenville High School in Cleveland and at Ohio State, and both were in town for Ginn's birthday bash. At some point, several fights broke in the street in front of the club and that's when things got a little nutty.

Officers denied Whitner access to the area when he attempted to force his way past the officers in an aggressive manner, police said.

"Whitner began swinging his arms in a violent manner and, when restrained by officers, he broke free and took a fighting stance. An officer then deployed his Taser on Whitner, debilitating him enough that officers were able to place him in handcuffs," police stated.

Ahh, yes. Swinging your arms violently at cops always ends well. Whitner is currently enjoying his stay at the Cleveland City Jail on aggravated disorderly conduct and resisting arrest charges. Yet another reason to never go to the House of Blues, ever.

Donte Whitner jailed after 'near riot' in Cleveland [Buffalo News]
Former Ohio State football star Donte Whitner arrested in Cleveland [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

T.O. returned the sentiment by announcing today that if Bills' workouts are not mandatory, he won't show up. That's not as bad as it sounds, actually. The Buffalo News:

"I talked to coach [Dick] Jauron prior to the start of the workouts about that," Owens told USA Today about voluntary workouts. "Right now if there's nothing mandatory that I have to be a part of, then I won't intend to be there."

"I've never gone to a voluntary workout," Owens said. "I have a personal trainer. I take very good care of myself. I take pride in coming into camp in shape. If I'm in the area, I tend to stop by the facilities and work out with the guys. You know, I'm looking forward to that type of stuff."

No, T.O.'s problems have never been with lack of training. They've been from the neck up. So maybe, this time, a little extended bonding with his teammates is more important than lifting weights in his driveway? Ah, what do I know?

T.O.: 'If It's Not Mandatory, I Won't Be There' [Buffalo News]
Welcome T.O., Buffalo [WGRZ]