-Hey, the Chargers seem to be moving the ball. I'm sure this will end well.

-TOUCHDOWN, FLOATS RIVERS TO VINCENT JACKSON. They went for 25 yards on the hook up and my reverse jinx worked as well as always. Now Rivers is yelling happy things at everybody on the bench!

San Diego 10 - 6 Tennessee

-And Tennessee is storming right back down the field.

Fourth Quarter

-Bironas is lining up for another field goal. Tennessee is borderline unwatchable.

-Juuuuuuuust a bit outside.

-Chris Chambers was uncovered deep in the secondary. He would have scored but it took the ball about thirty seconds to show up. First and goal... timeout.

-And after a ridiculous challenge they're out of timeouts. It's always nice to have Norv on the sideline in crucial times like this. It looks like they're going for it!

-TOUCHDOWN, LADAINIAN on the second effort! I might come close to breaking even this weekend.

-And the score is under review, as long as they didn't rule him down on forward progress then nothing will change.

San Diego 17 - 6 Tennessee

-These guys don't seem to understand the challenge system quite yet.

-Vince Young gets picked off inside his own 20 and this one looks about over. It's been a pleasure, I'm out!

Apparently the Patriots are good (but we still hate them). Randy Moss hauls in nine for 183 yards and all the white Patriots fans can glory because Wes Welker got in the endzone as well. Did Belichick shake Mangini's hand? Do I care? Well, actually — no, I mean, no.

Four penalties on one play. That was the feat accomplished by the Browns on their flubbed opening punt that led to the first of many Pittsburgh scores, as the Steelers have beaten the Browns 14 out of the last 15 meetings, as take a 56-55 lead in the all-time matchup. Charlie Fryelock lasted about a quarter and a half before bowing to Derek Anderson to overthrow Joe Jurevicious about a dozen times. Ben throws four TDs and Mike Tomlin is undefeated, as he shall always be.

"Purple Jesus" Adrian Peterson, the patron saint of Big Daddy Drew's child, goes over 100 in his first start, and the Vikings rout the Falcons in the first game of the Joey Harrington stopgap spectacular in Atlanta. Kevin Williams returned a pick 54 yards, then immediately ate 63 pounds of bacon and assorted gazelle parts.

The Skins previal over the Phins in a 16-13 thriller in Raljon, MD, despite Jason Campbell, the Unsilent Majority-decreed future 2007 NFL MVP, throwing two picks and no touches. Antwaan Randle El pretty much matches his output of all of last year with 162 receiving yards.

The hey-let's-throw-to-Steve-Smith play worked for perfection for the Panthers today, as he caught seven for 118 yards and a touchdown in Carolina's 27-13 win over the Rams.

Vince Young doesn't need any stinking receivers, or he just needs to play a team with a similarly anemic offense as Jacksonville's each week. Young passed for a whooping 78 yards in Tennessee's 13-10 over Jacksonville. Former Cleveland Browns crowd pleaser Den! nis! North! cutt! led the Jags with 57 receiving yards.

Green Bay beat the Iggles 16-13. Jesus Christ, did anyone besides the Steelers and the Patriots score any touchdowns today? In other words, I have nothing interesting to say about this contest.

All the 4 p.m. games seem like winners, with Tampa having a 6-0 lead over Seattle and the Bears up 3-0 on the Chargers. Detroit and Oakland are scoreless, and by that I mean hopeless. Huzzzzzzzzah.