Deadspin: bullfighting

He Calls This Move 'The Spanish Prostate Exam'

Rick Chandler — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 16:30:09 EDT

For those considering a career in bullfighting, please feel free to use this as your screensaver. One of Spain's big shot matadors was gored not once, but twice; including this most excellent shot by a bull who obviously knows what he's doing. And so Jose "The Balls" Thomas is forced to choose a new nickname.

The 32-year-old, who is widely considered one of the best bullfighters of all time, was competing at the Las Ventas bullring in the Spanish capital when he sustained his injuries. Tomas, who received medical treatment at the scene, sustained one groin injury that looked exceptionally painful.

Of course a torn scrotum is a small price to pay for the thrill of dressing in a completely ridiculous, skin-tight outfit and torturing animals.

More photos? Oh there's more, all right.

Superstar Matador Gets Gored By Two Angry Bulls [Daily Mail]

It's Still Not As Dangerous As A Typical Eagles Game

rickchand — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:30:57 EDT

Please bear with me if you've seen this before; any time I see something this large and angry go into the stands that isn't Ron Artest, I must post it. Three things of note here: 1. Love the three guys sitting under the little overhang in the middle there, safe from harm in the stadium's finest luxury box. 2. Insult a squirrel, and PETA will sue you back to the Stone Age. Throw spears at bulls in a ring until they die? Nothin'. 3. As seen following the jump, at least five people in the crowd refuse to drop their beers, even though an enraged bull is inches away, about to gore them. Party on, Enrique. More photos:

Mules And Bulls Are Not Friends [Part Mule]

Just A Day Of Being Gored On The Beach

Leitch — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 17:45:42 EDT

Via Sportivo, we present you a good old-fashioned bull goring video. It's tough to get enough of these.

To help understand what happens in this video, we're gonna let Sportivo explain it to us:

Despite being born in Mexico of Spanish ancestry, I despise bullfighting. No, it's not the killing of the bull, per se, but the uneven playing field. Either they start equipping the bulls with motion-sensor-triggered uzis strapped to their horns or they swap the matador's sword with a swiss army knife. But I digress...

The setup for the clip: a sports news show in Mexico (yes, Spain and Latin America cover bullfights in the sports segments) was taping a color piece about eccentric matador Jose de Jesus "El Glison." Besides being one of the most reckless (and most frequently gored) bullfighters in recorded history, "El Glison" is also a colorful character: half rocker, half poet, half surfer, half not good with fractions... You know the type, right? Anyway, he had just written this elegiac poem about the endless battle between man and beast, and thought a nice way to illustrate its narration would be a slow motion, sun drenched montage of a bare chested matador meeting a 1500 pound bull on the beach.

The camera crew procured a secluded beach in Mexico's Pacific coast, enlisted a top cinematographer to shoot the gig and brought over said bull to the spot where "El Glison" would perform the impromptu corrida. It went reasonably well for a while, but then... uh... he thought it would be a good idea to substitute the matador's cape for a SMALL SURFBOARD.

Much wackiness and goriness ensued.

Now, I'm really having trouble finding out what's funnier here: was it the cheesy premise for the video? The poem itself? The camera crew (with the show's anchor in tow) joining the freshly injured bullfighter in the ambulance and interviewing him en route to the hospital? A guy in a Speedo trying to outsmart a bull the size of a VW bug? The fact that the bull's horns missed his femoral artery by half an inch? There's simply too much to process here...

We think it's all pretty great ... just hang in after the first half minute ... and we hope you've eaten.

Sportivo