Remarkably, it's only the 15th official death at the Pamplona bull run since 1924. Capuchino—a brown angry fellow who comes from a farm notorious for its feisty bulls—fell down early in the run and got separated from the rest of the pack, which apparently is not a good thing. He became disoriented and aggressive, began charging erratically, and in the process gored three others and injured six more because he's a freaking bull.

He's probably dead at the hands of some swishy matador by now, but at least he chalked one up for his side on the way out.

Man gored to death by bull in Pamplona run [Telegraph]
Mess With The Bull, You Get The Horns (And Killed) [Friends of the Program]

I'm not just posting this for the "oh my god" factor—but seriously, OMG!—but also because I find it slightly amusing when people fuck with animals and then pay the price for it. (I actually felt a little bad for that shark. Guy just wanted to eat.) I'm don't want to get all PETA on you, but the problem with bullfights is not that people are fighting bulls, it's that the fights aren't even fair. Look at how many times the bull has been stabbed. Can you really blame him for being peeved?

GaAAAaAAAAAAAH. Yeah, that's gotta sting. Yes, yes, it's tragic and horrifying, but no one told Lancho to pick a fight with a crazed and wounded half-ton animal. (Plus, the bull was probably slaughtered later, so karma, I guess.)

What's that? You want video? Okay ....

Hey, it could have been worse.

Good gored! Bull catches matador... and tears an eight-inch hole in his side [Daily Mail]
This Guy Sucks At Bull Fighting [Don Chavez]
Horror as matador gets gored by bull and now fights for life - plus more gory bullfighting pics [Daily Mirror]

Knowing darned well that their ad would never see the light of a flat-screen TV, PETA pretended to buy Super Bowl ad time and produced a commercial, entitled Veggie Love, that NBC promptly rejected as being too risque (NSFW, unless you work on a pirate ship).

The network watched the ad and then gave notes, as they say in Hollywood. Among the things NBC wanted cut: "licking pumpkin," "touching her breast with her hand while eating broccoli," "pumpkin from behind between legs," "rubbing pelvic region with pumpkin," "screwing herself with broccoli (fuzzy)," "asparagus on her lap appearing as if it is ready to be inserted into vagina," "rubbing asparagus on breast,", and, most shocking of all, "licking eggplant."

What would have happened in that Super Bowl halftime show if, instead of her nipple, Janet Jackson had shown a squash?

Meanwhile, PETA continued its feud with often pantsless former ESPN personality Sean Salisbury. You may remember last week, when PETA met with Michael Vick in their offices, and then called for an MRI brain scan on the quarterback before the NFL readmits him to the league. This ticked off Mr. Salisbury, who wrote about it in his column over at Open Sports.com. Hey, reasoned Salisbury; who are you owl huggers to tell a big, manly football player what to do when he gets out of the slammer?

PETA Assistant Director Dan Shannon had a reply to that (excerpt reprinted here via email):

While PETA agrees with Mr. Salisbury’s take that people deserve a second chance, we would respectfully suggest that the sympathy for Vick expressed in his blog would be better directed towards the real victims in this case—the dogs tortured and killed by Vick and Bad Newz Kennels. Mr. Salisbury closes his post by saying he’s off to go turkey hunting. Hopefully he doesn’t confuse the turkeys he’s shooting at with the one writing his column.

Best,
Dan Shannon
Assistant Director
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals

The thought of Sean Salisbury turkey hunting gives me endless joy. What a battle of wits!

Oh, and Whoopi Goldberg reenacted the PETA ad on The View. Thankfully, it's safe for work. Is there a People for the Ethical Treatment of Lettuce?

But now, on to other PETA business.

• Their campaign to rename fish "sea kittens" is not really gaining much momentum, as far as I can tell.

• The above is totally true.

• And has nothing to do with this.

• "(Gasp!) Cat juggling!? Turn it off! Turn it off!"

• 11-year-old Mexican bullfighter kills six bull calves in one day. PETA not amused.

• An event in which rabbits and foxes are hunted with trained golden eagles is called "The Super Bowl of Kazakhstan."

• Will the bunny make it to the safety of PETA headquarters in time? Run, Mr. Fluffy!

Promise me, PETA, that you'll never, ever go away. Now if you'll excuse me, I have sea kittens to sautee for dinner.

People For The Ethical Treatment Of Vick [Open Sports]
NBC's Sexually-Explicit Super Bowl Ad Rejection Makes Us Blush [The PETA Files]
The Day I Spent With Michael Vick [The PETA Files]
World Record For Cruelty? [The PETA Files]
Save Our Cats From Fishermen [Video Gum]
Super Bowl Kazakh Style; Eagles Take On Bunnies, Foxes [Asylum]

Ha, watch closely; about two minutes in, even the bull realizes that soccer is a dull game, and stops charging. He's thinking "getting maimed with swords is better than watching this."

Most other things, however, would be much better with the addition of charging bulls. Baseball immediately comes to mind. And Pardon the Interruption. [Off The Post]

The 32-year-old, who is widely considered one of the best bullfighters of all time, was competing at the Las Ventas bullring in the Spanish capital when he sustained his injuries. Tomas, who received medical treatment at the scene, sustained one groin injury that looked exceptionally painful.

Of course a torn scrotum is a small price to pay for the thrill of dressing in a completely ridiculous, skin-tight outfit and torturing animals.

More photos? Oh there's more, all right.

Superstar Matador Gets Gored By Two Angry Bulls [Daily Mail]

Mules And Bulls Are Not Friends [Part Mule]

Via Sportivo, we present you a good old-fashioned bull goring video. It's tough to get enough of these.

To help understand what happens in this video, we're gonna let Sportivo explain it to us:

Despite being born in Mexico of Spanish ancestry, I despise bullfighting. No, it's not the killing of the bull, per se, but the uneven playing field. Either they start equipping the bulls with motion-sensor-triggered uzis strapped to their horns or they swap the matador's sword with a swiss army knife. But I digress...

Now, I'm really having trouble finding out what's funnier here: was it the cheesy premise for the video? The poem itself? The camera crew (with the show's anchor in tow) joining the freshly injured bullfighter in the ambulance and interviewing him en route to the hospital? A guy in a Speedo trying to outsmart a bull the size of a VW bug? The fact that the bull's horns missed his femoral artery by half an inch? There's simply too much to process here...

We think it's all pretty great ... just hang in after the first half minute ... and we hope you've eaten.

Sportivo