Hey, Soccer Guy, Yanking A Goat's Horns Is A Dumb Way To Celebrate Goals

We aren't exactly clear what Cologne's Anthony Ujah was going for with this goal celebration involving club mascot Hennes the goat—is he miming riding it? are the horns like motorcycle handlebars?—but what we're quite certain of is ol' Hennes isn't digging it. » 3/09/15 6:40pm 3/09/15 6:40pm

Why I Love Coutinho, And How Real Madrid's Slip Gives Us A Great Clásico

With the fireworks of the last few days, it would be natural to look down the sights and champ at how those results set up a couple blockbuster head-to-head matchups in the coming weeks. But let's take a second to look back and appreciate what we saw this weekend, which was magnificent. » 3/02/15 5:20pm 3/02/15 5:20pm

Happy Borussia Dortmund Celebrate Goal Batman And Robin Style

Borussia Dortmund players are happy again! Today's 3-0 victory over Schalke was their fourth straight in the Bundesliga, dragging themselves from the relegation zone to ninth in the table. Since they're finally confident that they'll actually score some goals, they're planning out elaborate costumed celebrations,… » 2/28/15 11:51am 2/28/15 11:51am

Soccer Fans Resist Urge To Be Hateful Assholes For Once

Soccer fans are, almost without exception, horrible people. So you can imagine our surprise, if also our reluctance to truly trust, the behavior of these Stuttgart fans, who consoled poor little Timo Baumgartl after a huge mistake lead to an easy goal to all but seal their defeat. » 2/23/15 5:32pm 2/23/15 5:32pm

Borussia Dortmund Fans Are Fed Up

Borussia Dortmund's fans have finally reached their breaking point. Just 21 months ago they were watching their team barely lose in the Champions League Finals, and they haven't seen them finish worse than second in the Bundesliga since the 2009-10 season. This season Dortmund aren't merely struggling, but are in… » 2/04/15 10:21pm 2/04/15 10:21pm

Your January Transfer Window Roundup

Another January past, and another transfer window closes as the rumor mill, hype machine, and hope-mongering all come to screeching halts. For a little while, at least. But this window did have some fascinating moves, so let's take the opportunity to break down all the transfers that caught our eye during the only… » 2/03/15 5:28pm 2/03/15 5:28pm

Marco Reus Fined $670,000 For Driving Without A License

German paper Bild reports (paywall) that Borussia Dortmund star Marco Reus has been fined €540,000 after police discovered he had been driving without a license for the past three years. Apparently Reus received five speeding tickets during that time, but somehow police never figured out that he also didn't have a… » 12/17/14 9:59pm 12/17/14 9:59pm

Goalkeeper Manuel Neuer Out To Prove He's Really A Midfielder At Heart

Pep, please, do your star keeper this solid: Bayern will obviously have the Bundesliga wrapped up in about a month from now, could we get some games for Manuel Neuer in defensive midfield? We've seen his ridiculous passing, and now his open-field tackling. What else does he have to prove? » 12/15/14 2:47pm 12/15/14 2:47pm

Chart: The Average Player Salaries In Soccer Leagues Around The World

A lot of what we talk about when we compare different soccer leagues, from arguing which one's the best to which one's the deepest and even which plays the most attractive style, comes down to how much money is spent on players. In that sense, this Sportsmail chart listing the average salaries of players in 34 leagues… » 11/14/14 1:21pm 11/14/14 1:21pm

German Player's Perfect Strike From Center Circle Makes Great Own Goal

It takes a special kind of calmness to lob a ball from the edge of the center circle with enough accuracy to find the back of the net. Unfortunately, Christoph Kramer so calmly played this pass because he expected it to find his own keeper, not sail over his teammate's head and into the goal. » 11/10/14 12:28pm 11/10/14 12:28pm

How To Be A Soccer Fan

Towards the tail end of this past World Cup, more than a few readers emailed us looking for guidance on how to become a soccer fan. Never ones to disappoint our adoring readership, we've now obliged. Here's how we imagine that conversation would go. » 9/26/14 2:27pm 9/26/14 2:27pm

Bayer Leverkusen Scores On Borussia Dortmund Nine Seconds Into Match

Karim Bellarabi set a new Bundesliga record when he scored the opening goal of Borussia Dortmund-Bayer Leverkusen just nine seconds into those teams' league season. » 8/23/14 1:49pm 8/23/14 1:49pm

Defender Kicks In Own Goal Off Goalkeeper's Face

Own goals are, by definition, bad, but this own goal in a Bundesliga matchup between Mainz and Augsburg is really, really bad. Augsburg goalkeeper Marwin Hitz made a glancing save on the initial shot from Mainz, but the ball hit off the post and trickled back in front of the net. So, trying to clear the ball out of… » 3/29/14 2:40pm 3/29/14 2:40pm

German Cup Match Invaded By Surprise Anal Sex Tours

The hanging of flags and banners by soccer team supporters' groups is a tradition as old as the game itself. But what the hell is this, spotted during last night's DFB Cup match between Eintracht Frankfurt and Borussia Dortmund? Is there really a a Frankfurter booster crew called Anal Sex Tours? » 2/12/14 8:39am 2/12/14 8:39am

Here's The Guardian's Ranked List Of The 100 Best Soccer Players

Today, The Guardian has completed its top 100 soccer players list by unveiling the top 10. While probably a little too deferential to certain teams and young players, the list is still fascinating for what it says about the soccer world. » 12/24/13 11:27am 12/24/13 11:27am

German Soccer Trolling Is The Best Trolling

In a match that may be the deciding factor in the German Bundesliga title race, Borussia Dortmund seized a 1-0 victory over Bayern Munich when keeper Roman Weidenfeller stopped Arjen Robben's penalty in the 82nd minute, leading to an extraordinary (and ballsy) act of trash-talking from Serbian defender Neven… » 4/12/12 5:20pm 4/12/12 5:20pm

German Soccer Fans Serenade Israeli Player With "Racist Insults And…

"[Kaiserslautern striker Itay Shechter] was subjected to a verbal racist attack while training with his German league club on Sunday, when a group of between five and 10 fans in a crowd of at least 100 chanted anti-Semitic slogans. They also gave the Nazi salute, which is banned in Germany. » 2/28/12 10:20pm 2/28/12 10:20pm

Here's Video Of An Absolutely Phenomenal Bundesliga Goal

Not too many people can trap a long pass, flip the ball back over their head while double covered and score with an overhead kick. But Eren Derdiyok of Bayer Leverkusen could yesterday in a 3-1 win over Wolfsburg. » 10/02/11 7:15pm 10/02/11 7:15pm

Stanford Overcomes 99-Point Deficit To Beat UCLA By 26

Your morning roundup for Oct. 2, the day we mull parole eligibility for cannibal ladies. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. » 10/02/11 9:30am 10/02/11 9:30am