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Christian Pulisic, The Latest "Savior Of American Soccer," Is More Than Just Hype

You can count the number of soccer teams in the world better than Borussia Dortmund on one hand. Last season, the German club struggled with the loss of Robert Lewandowski and the impending loss of Jürgen Klopp and wound up with a sorry seventh-place league finish. One year later and they are back amongst the best of…

Here's Borussia Mönchengladbach With A Great Piece Of Own-Goal Incompetence

On one hand, this comically ridiculous own goal does a disservice to the impressive work Schalke’s Leroy Sané put into creating it. On the other, the three deft little flicks Gladbach’s defenders ping back and forth between each other would be impressive—Arsenal-esque, even—if only they weren’t sending the ball into…

Volkswagen-Sponsored Wolfsburg Fine Nicklas Bendtner For Posting A Photo Of Himself With A Benz

Nicklas Bendtner has always been, let’s say, a vibrant character. A few years ago, he whipped his dick out and tried to hump a taxi, UEFA fined for wearing the wrong underwear, and he’s been arrested for trying to kick down a door in his own apartment building because he wanted to go swimming. Bendtner is truly a free…

Thomas Müller Scored Himself A Clean Little Half-Bicycle Kick Goal

Thomas Müller has, apparently, been reading the pamphlets and watching the tapes. The move in 2016, it seems, is knocking the ball down to yourself and spinning about while scoring. Christine Sinclair did it. Dele Alli did it. And it wasn’t as pretty as the Canadian or the Englishman, but Thomas Müller did it today…

An Injured Chicharito Is Truthering Bundesliga Highlights

Javier Hernández is tearing up the Bundesliga in his first campaign with Bayer Leverkusen. The Mexican striker is fourth in the league with 13 goals, and first among non-Dortmund/Bayern players. Unfortunately, he’s now going to miss a few weeks after he tore a muscle in his ass (or his Gesäßmuskel, if you’re so…

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Lionel Messi And Marvin Plattenhardt Score Identical Free Kick Goals

Leo Messi hitting geometrically ambitious free kicks is about as unsurprising of a sporting development as Boogie Cousins getting fed up and pouting. And yet, this geometrically ambitious free kick was spectacular and deserves to be brought up and seen. Messi is so good that this has commonplace, and like with most…