Burger King Phone Mixup Inspires Hilarious Series Of Pranks

There's a guy in Chicago whose office phone somehow got listed on a Burger King website as the contact number for one of their local restaurants. As you might imagine, he gets a lot of calls from people looking to complain about service, apply for a job, or check on when their shift starts. But rather than complain,… » 9/10/14 11:40am 9/10/14 11:40am

Burger King, And Only Burger King, Wants To Be Canadian

Burger King Worldwide Inc., a chain of over 13,000 sad, ignored, tumbleweed-strewn burger graveyards in 79 countries around the world, has agreed to fork over around $11 billion to purchase Canadian donuts-and-breakfast chain Tim Hortons Inc., giving the new combined company ownership of exactly one brand that isn't… » 8/27/14 2:42pm 8/27/14 2:42pm

Smackdown: Burger King's Extra Long BBQ Vs. McDonald's Jalapeño Double

At first glance, a horizontally oriented double cheeseburger doesn't seem very flashy: Mankind is well accustomed to taking our meals the long way. Cheesesteaks, ribs, roll-ups, Twinkies, wraps, corn, whatever the hell a hoagie is: All these and more have been served to us on the landscape setting since long before… » 8/13/14 2:36pm 8/13/14 2:36pm

Don't Buy All The Pies At Burger King To Spite A Child, You Asshole

By now you likely have encountered this thing, currently wending its way across the internet. In short, the story goes that the guy—a redditor (of course) known as thr111—spited the whiny, out-of-control child and distracted, defensive mother behind him in line at Burger King by purchasing every pie left in the… » 8/07/14 12:38pm 8/07/14 12:38pm

Big Mac Vs. Whopper: The Ultimate Burger Smackdown

It's been a rocky week for the USA. We were let down by our Supreme Court and our soccer team, and we head into a potentially hurricanous Independence Day licking our wounds and pondering our mistakes and just kidding, we fucking RULE, and that's partly due to geographic good fortune and relatively sound governance,… » 7/03/14 1:20pm 7/03/14 1:20pm

The Fast-Food Bacon Wars: McDonald's Goes High, Burger King Goes Low

Over the past decade, the American burgersphere has been shaped by three major forces: The first and most odious is the grind-your-own contingent's constant harping about how to flip a fucking hamburger. Having declared victory in their charcoal-fueled war against convenience (gas grills are still more popular among… » 4/28/14 2:53pm 4/28/14 2:53pm

How Bold Is The New BBQ Whopper? A DadBoner Taste Test

'Sup. Karl "K-Money" Welzein here with an urgent message about bold flavors. The other day I was at BK and decided to give the Carolina BBQ Whopper a go-round. Man, I gotta say, it was off the chain. With a flamed-up beef patty, all natch thick-cut bacon, pepper jack, lettuce, ripe tomates, and with TWO condiments:… » 7/03/13 2:33pm 7/03/13 2:33pm