Big Mac Vs. Whopper: The Ultimate Burger Smackdown

It's been a rocky week for the USA. We were let down by our Supreme Court and our soccer team, and we head into a potentially hurricanous Independence Day licking our wounds and pondering our mistakes and just kidding, we fucking RULE, and that's partly due to geographic good fortune and relatively sound governance,… » 7/03/14 1:20pm 7/03/14 1:20pm

The Fast-Food Bacon Wars: McDonald's Goes High, Burger King Goes Low

Over the past decade, the American burgersphere has been shaped by three major forces: The first and most odious is the grind-your-own contingent's constant harping about how to flip a fucking hamburger. Having declared victory in their charcoal-fueled war against convenience (gas grills are still more popular among… » 4/28/14 2:53pm 4/28/14 2:53pm

How Bold Is The New BBQ Whopper? A DadBoner Taste Test

'Sup. Karl "K-Money" Welzein here with an urgent message about bold flavors. The other day I was at BK and decided to give the Carolina BBQ Whopper a go-round. Man, I gotta say, it was off the chain. With a flamed-up beef patty, all natch thick-cut bacon, pepper jack, lettuce, ripe tomates, and with TWO condiments:… » 7/03/13 2:33pm 7/03/13 2:33pm