But the economy took a toll on the festivities this year, as instead of the usual big-time athlete VIP host, fans were gifted with... Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic. Also? The whole event was, according to one ESPNer, scaled back: Not as many perks for ESPN staff including none of the personalized VIP tour fast-passes, so people like Jay Crawford can feel important by blowing through the line at Space Mountain.

One person who probably wouldn't have minded not attending this year was baseball writer Buster Olney, who did a cheerful little blog post about his Magic Kingdom experience. Actually, in the post, he referred to his young son as "the Antichrist" and bitched about nearly vomiting during every ride:

I swear that everything I have eaten in my 45 years on this earth was gathering at the core of my stomach, like lava collecting before the eruption of a volcano. I began to imagine how it would look to the 200 or so toddlers waiting in line if they saw an adult erupt all over the flooring of the teacup ride.

Thankfully, it ended, just in time. I let my wife take the rest of the rides, for the rest of the day, with her spawn. Writing about baseball is a much safer existence.

Things sound downright cheerful in the Olney household. I think he should definitely host this event next year. In his defense, I will cop to almost booting it during the hellish Mad Teacup ride as well. They shouldn't allow six-year-olds to spin that wheel.

UPDATE: So it turns out that our ESPN correspondent was the only one who did not experience the VIP treatment. Oh, and the athletes were bigger than ever according to ESPN. Most Bristol people had a lovely, raucous time and were treated like little Frog Princes all weekend. Except our source, who was apparently left out of all the fun. Hope they're not fired.

Break from Baseball Sickening [ESPN [Insider]

One of Olney's saddest moments at ESPN had to be the now-infamous Steve Phillips press conferences, in which this seasoned and respected baseball reporter had to stand up and pretend to ask fake questions to a fake general manager. (Buster said he had no problem with doing the segments, but, frankly, we don't believe him.) Now Buster runs his ESPN blog, which is pretty much a must-read for anyone paying attention. And his name is Buster. Perhaps you'd noticed.

So: Do you like the Buster Olney? Do you not like the Buster Olney?

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It works this way and it is very simple. Reporters from different beats, maybe a half dozen or sometimes a lot more, send in notes and thoughts to a central source. Then writers pick and choose the information they want. What usually happens is the writer taking the info re-writes it in his or her own words. Obviously, Ron did not do this.

These things are leftovers from the old days of sports journalism, mainly the 1980s, when newspapers used to run these massive notes columns (the Globe and a handful of papers still do them) and because of time constraints you needed extra help. ESPN still does these things but you will notice heavy attribution on ESPN and SportsLine.

Yeah, we'd say "Leftover" is the right term there. Not only is this lazy, of course, but it appears to have been beamed in from a universe where the Internets do not exist. It's very easy to solve this problem; look at what Buster Olney does every day at ESPN. That is the ultimate notes column, but it cites and links to all its sources and, you know, doesn't just cut and paste copy and call it "by Buster Olney." It's really simple, kids. Honest.

The full email is after the jump.

Ron Borges Suspended, But He's Not Alone [Deadspin]

———————

Will: I'm shocked you have not heard of these things. That other site has it slightly wrong. They are not really private forums; that makes it sound like some sort of exotic, porno-like thing. They are pretty simple.

I participated in one of these things years ago but quit because they are unbelievably lazy. Plus, I went to a newspaper that forbid participating in them.

It works this way and it is very simple. Reporters from different beats, maybe a half dozen or sometimes a lot more, send in notes and thoughts to a central source. Then writers pick and choose the information they want.

What usually happens is the writer taking the info re-writes it in his or her own words. Obviously, Ron did not do this.

These things are leftovers from the old days of sports journalism, mainly the 1980s, when newspapers used to run these massive notes columns (the Globe and a handful of papers still do them) and because of time constraints you needed extra help. ESPN still does these things but you will notice heavy attribution on ESPN and SportsLine.

The old school guys have not evolved and still use these old notes systems despite the fact the Internet has completely changed the universe.

Two last things. One, these notes things are stunningly lazy. They should be banned and many newspapers now no longer allow this type of sloppy journalism. Or if they do, they require heavy policing and attribution.

Second, I know Deadspin hates Ron, but he is an excellent reporter and one of the best writers in the country. I may not agree with his vendetta against the Patriots but he is extremely talented. I cannot explain what happened here, however.

One last thing in his defense. Ron made a mistake but I can guarantee this. He is not alone. This type of things happens all the time. Reporters steal other info, sometimes verbatim in these notes columns, from other writers. I would say dozens of reporters plagiarize every week in these things. I have seen it many times. Particularly when it comes to the NFL. Ron got caught because a website hates him and was out to get him, but I cannot stress enough how much this happens all the time with many NFL and baseball writers.

Like many times in our business, one person is busted for a mistake many others make.

This week's example: An interview with ESPN's Buster Olney about those ridiculous mock press conferences his network was having last week, forcing him and other "real" journalists to ask fake questions of pretend GM Steve Phillips. Olney acknowledged the criticisms of both the ESPN feature and his role in it, but defended the rather obvious point that it hurt his credibility as a journalist.

Yeah, we got a lot of negative feedback. ... The one thing I find kind of laughable is people who say there s some sort of journalism credibility problem here. ... But people are taking it way too seriously when they question the integrity of it, because it wasn t meant to be anything but a schticky way of looking at the offseason.

Olney even responded to our specific observation about the clearly demoralized Olney's face: "you can see thousands of operas and greek tragedies in his eyes."

Actually, those are my grandmother s. She has bags under her eyes, and I got doomed with them. Always look like I got about two hours sleep.

In an alternate universe, Olney answered the question by saying, "Honestly? The whole thing was horseshit and the low point of my career. I had to drink all morning just to get ready for one of those segments. Signing with ESPN makes me feel like my soul is rotting. You know what? Screw it. No amount of money is worth this." He was then carried off-set and became an underground hero in the world of sports journalism. He became the pied piper of 21st Century sportswriting, and his book, Who Knew? Fear And Loathing In Bristol changed the sports world as we knew it.

We don't live in that world. Yet.

Full text of his interview after the jump.

"Yeah, we got a lot of negative feedback. The people who were filling in were producers at ESPN, some of the people in various departments, and they asked me if this was like a regular baseball press conference. I said, No, it s more like watching West Wing. I didn t take it very seriously. Basically what it was was this: Trying to come up with a way that the typical What is this team gonna do in the offseason could be done in a different way. They put a lot of bells and whistles on it. Whether or not you like the bells and whistles, that s up to you. If you thought it stunk, fine. The one thing I find kind of laughable is people who say there s some sort of journalism credibility problem here. That s silly. It s really nothing more than any of us writing a column saying, this is what I would do if I were the Red Sox. This is what I would do if I were the Yankees. This is what Steve Phillips was doing. No one was actually saying this was really Steve Phillips, GM of the Red Sox. They ran the streamer across the bottom. People thought it looked stupid? Well, that s up to them. But people are taking it way too seriously when they question the integrity of it, because it wasn t meant to be anything but a schticky way of looking at the offseason.

...

Actually, those are my grandmother s. She has bags under her eyes, and I got doomed with them. Always look like I got about two hours sleep."

Buster Olney Podcast [Sports Bloggers Live]
Even More Mock Press Conference Shenanigans [ESPN]

Our personal favorite bit, however, involves everyone's favorite financial advisor Lenny Dykstra, whom the story implicates with considerable steroid abuse.

Scott "prescribed" a cocktail that blended several steroids, oral and injectable, and watched the little man explode. By season's end, he was the first player ever to lead the National League in at-bats, hits, walks and runs. The Phillies reached the World Series and Dykstra finished second to Barry Bonds in the MVP balloting. That winter, the team gave him a four-year, $24.9 million extension. The deal showed just how much money was available to players who could pump up their stats.

But it was the beginning of the end for Nails. Instead of pushing it in the gym during spring training of 1994, he lounged at a waterside spa and continued a long-running extramarital affair with the sister of his business partner's mistress.

A guy with this kind of judgment has to be anybody's first choice for investment advice. That last sentence is like an entire season of "Knots Landing."

Who Knew? [ESPN]
Lenny Dykstra, Your Financial Consultant [Deadspin]

(Big kudos, by the way, for Buster Olney, who, along with Tom Verducci, has been doing amazing stuff on the steroid beat. He's also all over the fake Steve Phillips story too; breaking real news there.)

Don't know if you saw the 11:00 SportsCenter on Sunday night, but when they did the original Steve Phillips faux-press conference, where he was the Red Sox GM, they teased it all night and then when they finally threw it over there, they did about 3 minutes and then had horrible technical difficulties (sound cutting out, video crapping up) and had to end it and go back to the studio, to a thoroughly defeated Steve Levy and Stu Scott, who apologized and said they'd have the full version on the later SportsCenters. So I guess they taped it and edited it in later. Loved that they were doing it in Bristol, with presumably hundreds of tech people and staffers available, and they still couldn't pull it off live.

We're hearing all kinds of behind the scenes stuff about these segments, and, if we can talk this person into it, we're actually gonna have a report from one of the "reporters" yelling "questions" at Phillips sometime later this week. We'll have to hurry, too; sadly, they're ending the segments on Friday.

OK, Seriously, Knock It Off You Guys [Deadspin]

(By the way, we LOVE that picture of Buster Olney. You can see thousands of operas and greek tragedies in his eyes.)

OK, first off, if they're going to have this mock press conference, why is Phillips speaking in the bland cadence of GMs? More accurately ... why isn't he saying anything? Is this supposed to be analysis? Why is he just spouting press releases? Oh, and, honestly, why does ESPN have real reporters asking questions? Poor Buster Olney, the guy's got a huge cover story about steroids this week, he's written for the New York Times, and now he's got to ask these fake questions with a fake notebook? Are we supposed to think he's actually writing anything on that? And why are they wasting five minutes of SportsCenter during one of the most busy times of the year with this? Are they really going to do every team? And why do they keep acting like there's this onrush of questions? They're gonna call on Olney or Schaap every time; isn't it just mean to make the interns keep shouting things out? Are those really flashbulbs going off? Where is this filmed, anyway? Shouldn't some of those reporters be out, you know, reporting? Oh, and why does Phillips keep answering questions like he really has a relationship with the people he's talking about? "I — along with the Tribune company — am committed to Dusty (Baker) and I like what he's doing with this." What? We have fake owners now? Can we have a fake firing? Please? Are we going insane?

Oh, and the best part: When Phillips called on Jeremy Schaap to ask a question today, he totally called him "Jerry." Of course, it's possible that just like Phillips is playing the "character" of Cubs GM, maybe Schaap is playing the character of "Jerry the reporter."

EARLIER: The Sad Faces Of Buster Olney And Jeremy Schaap [Deadspin]

The Philly Inquirer gets it started by pointing out that this whole Terrell Owens mess was an ESPN production from the start, lamenting "take ESPN out of the equation, and this is a run-of-the-mill contract squabble between a star player and a football team." And Joe Sports Fan is terrified of the day we have ESPN TV dinners. We suspect they would take about 30 seconds to cook and would have the nutritional content of spam covered in bacon fat.

And, in the best hit we've seen all day, SportsBiz pleads with ESPN head honcho George Bodenheimer to stop ruining sports for him. And through all this, we still can't find anybody to say anything bad about executive vice president of content John Skipper. Honestly, this guy must wear pants made of diamonds or just own incriminating pictures of EVERYONE in Bristol.

Made For TV: ESPN Found The Perfect Dupe [Philly.com]
What's Wrong With ESPN [Sports Biz] (via TrueHoop)
Media Circus [Joe Sports Fan]

(By the way, just for fun, here's a mildly amusing mock SportsCenter "racist coach" broadcast.)

If you missed this today, just catch the 7 p.m. "SportsCenter" tonight. They're going to do it again. Fake questions, fake answers, fake GM. At least they're not even pretending anymore.

Steve Phillips Archive [ESPN]