Update: Now down to $10!
Nobody, I repeat, nobody, will be upset to get a five pound bag of Haribo Gold Bears for the holidays. You don’t even have to tell them it only cost you $10.
This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill. This five pound Haribo Gold-Bears deal was available briefly last weekend, but if you missed out, here’s another chance. If you pay extra for the one day shipping, you’ll have it in time for a wild weekend.
Easter is upon us. You know this—even if you don’t have a grandmother sending increasingly frantic texts asking what time you’ll be there for dinner on Sunday—because the commercials have all gone pastel and there are goddamn Peeps everywhere. If you don’t care about the religious significance, Easter does not have a…
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering the Warriors, OJ, marshmallows, marriage proposals, and more.
If you really like chewing gum, Amazon will sell you several months’ worth for an extra 25% off today.
I’ve never really lived in a neighborhood that drew a lot of Trick-or-Treaters, but that doesn’t keep me from buying Halloween candy. Obviously, this is a task I take very seriously because, even if zero children visit my house, I want to get the as much delicious, seasonal sugar as I can for my money.
If you’re planning on spending Halloween watching horror movies and passing out candy to trick or treaters, Amazon’s taking an extra 20% off select Mars candy packs today. Just be sure to grab multiple bags; Halloween’s still a few weeks away, so you’re probably going to end up devouring at least one yourself.
Tis the season, the only season that matters, the season that Halloween candy finally starts appearing on the shelves. Unfortunately, that also means candy corn has made its foul return, a crumbling and earwax-esque concoction that, like your racist grandparent, you only give a pass because it’s been around for so…
Cavaliers fan Tim Brady has sworn he will consume a long-frozen Mark Price chocolate bar if Cleveland wins an NBA title. We can tell him from personal experience that this is a very bad idea.
Many people like candy corn, such as hobos, serial murderers, and Satan. But actually, candy corn is terrible. If you give it out to trick-or-treating children this evening, you belong in fucking prison.
Ostensibly, this chart from WaPo's Wonkblog is about ranking candy by its sugar content so you can consume the maximum amount of sugar, and it does a fine job of that. But looking at it, all I can think about is how everything north of Gummy Bears coming in at a full 70 percent sugar is so much more alarming than I…
There's plenty to mock about the leaders of the dude-food movement—Fieri, Zimmern, the Epic Meal Timers—and their bag-tag army of regular doofs united by pork-themed t-shirts and their exaggerated disdain for small plates and Whole Foods. But we're not here to make fun of their indoor sunglasses or their spicy…
I want to be openminded about this, because I will eat pretty much anything. But the idea of adding a giant bag of Skittles to hot sausage seems as gross at that screengrab looks.
1. Junior Mints
Back in June I covered an exciting new product hitting the novelty lollipop market: the Texas-based Lollyphile Breast Milk-Flavored Lollipop. My feelings on the matter were a blend of maximum-lolz, medium-nausea, and the smug comfort of living very, very far away from Texas. Here's what I wrote at the time:
Cowboys safety Barry Church missed the last 13 games of 2012 because of a torn Achilles. He's good to go for this season, though he did have to miss practice on Monday because of a piece of candy he ate a few weeks ago.
"You're not going to eat it, are you?" the eBay seller asked, after we had completed our purchase. "People have been asking me if they can eat it, and that's probably not a good idea."