Easter is upon us. You know this—even if you don’t have a grandmother sending increasingly frantic texts asking what time you’ll be there for dinner on Sunday—because the commercials have all gone pastel and there are goddamn Peeps everywhere. If you don’t care about the religious significance, Easter does not have a…
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering the Warriors, OJ, marshmallows, marriage proposals, and more.
Cavaliers fan Tim Brady has sworn he will consume a long-frozen Mark Price chocolate bar if Cleveland wins an NBA title. We can tell him from personal experience that this is a very bad idea.
Many people like candy corn, such as hobos, serial murderers, and Satan. But actually, candy corn is terrible. If you give it out to trick-or-treating children this evening, you belong in fucking prison.
Ostensibly, this chart from WaPo's Wonkblog is about ranking candy by its sugar content so you can consume the maximum amount of sugar, and it does a fine job of that. But looking at it, all I can think about is how everything north of Gummy Bears coming in at a full 70 percent sugar is so much more alarming than I…
There's plenty to mock about the leaders of the dude-food movement—Fieri, Zimmern, the Epic Meal Timers—and their bag-tag army of regular doofs united by pork-themed t-shirts and their exaggerated disdain for small plates and Whole Foods. But we're not here to make fun of their indoor sunglasses or their spicy…
I want to be openminded about this, because I will eat pretty much anything. But the idea of adding a giant bag of Skittles to hot sausage seems as gross at that screengrab looks.
1. Junior Mints
Cowboys safety Barry Church missed the last 13 games of 2012 because of a torn Achilles. He's good to go for this season, though he did have to miss practice on Monday because of a piece of candy he ate a few weeks ago.
"You're not going to eat it, are you?" the eBay seller asked, after we had completed our purchase. "People have been asking me if they can eat it, and that's probably not a good idea."
That the Snickers bar is the best of all candy bars is a point so obvious and unassailable that it needn't be argued here. What's odd and paradoxical-seeming, and thus noteworthy, is that its superiority is the precise reason why the Snickers is not the best candy bar for Halloween. That is to say, its Halloweeniness…
Late last night, a reader pointed us to a Carlos Beltran tweet, the latest in a series of strange tweets from the resurgent Cardinals outfielder. And it was pretty odd: "I hope you have enjoyed chewing gum today." A nice sentiment, to be sure. We at Deadspin certainly hope you have enjoyed chewing gum today, if…
I go to a lot of children's birthday parties. These parties are virtually identical. You go to a gym, you take off your kid's shoes, you hand your kid over to the 19-year-old girl making $6 an hour and wearing a bright red or blue shirt with the name of the gym on it (PLAY ZONE! GYMTASTIC! BALLS AND SHIT!), then you…
Before Saturday, no one had rushed for 100 yards against the 49ers defense, and no one had run for a touchdown against the 49ers defense. Before Saturday, nobody had worn Skittles sneakers against the 49ers defense. Correlation is not necessarily causation, but this time it totally was, say scienticians.
After Beast Mode went Beast Mode on the Eagles' sieve of a d-line, he retreated to his bench to taste the rainbow. This is nothing new for Lynch, whose sweet
tooth grill goes back to his Bills days. His mother still buys him a pack before every game, and he talks about Skittles in the huddle.
The Cowboys' new focus on defense includes rewarding players for turnovers with Snickers and Butterfinger bars, probably from a fun-size bag bought for $2.99 at a Stillwater Otasco. [AP]
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.