Deadspin
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nfl
Saints Players Just Want To Hang Out With Their Wangs Out
New Orleans is certainly a wild and wacky place, but that doesn't mean you can go around waving your junk at women in public willy-nilly, even if you're a member of the New Orleans Saints. More »
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By Pete GainesComment by Dr. Michael Mancini: At Mardi Gras my cousin saw two guys arrested for taking a leak on the side of a house. The... 6 Responses | Other threads
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whimsy
Without Eternal Vigilance, It Could Happen Outside Of Your City College Women's Softball Practice
Santa Barbara police arrested a "middle-aged male" for masturbating in the parking lot where the Santa Barbara City College softball team was practicing. Carl Monday is not amused. More »
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Comment by son of spam: I call for an immediate ban on commenters who feel the need to correct typos and spelling errors. /steps off the... 6 Responses | Other threads
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track and field
Well, They're Back To Square One With The Old Folks Home Flasher Case
Former sprint champion Mark Walcott was cleared on Thursday of charges that he exposed himself five times at two old folks homes in Britain, but at what cost? During the trial it was revealed that Walcott was having affairs with two women at the same time, both of whom were hauled into court to provide him with alibis. Also entered into evidence is a late contender for Deadspin Quote of the Year. More »
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Comment by StanGable: That picture just shows another way Daniel Johnson says: "Hi, How are you?" 2 Responses | Other threads
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blotter
Ashley Todd Is Your New Mike Cooper
This is Ashley Todd. Ashley recently made some news when she was was mugged near at ATM by "a dark-skinned black man" who, after finding out she supported John McCain, carved a "B" on her face for some kind of pro-Obama viral ad campaign. However, the cops got kind of suspicious when they saw the B was on backwards, did some investigating, and found out she was making the whole thing up as some kind of race-baiting swift boat attack. That, or she was just nuts. More »
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By Rick PaulasComment by Joetimek: This has nothing to do with sports. Leave this to gawker for christ's sake. 4 Responses | Other threads
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week in review
Week In Review: What's the Frequency, Carl Monday?
Here's a photo Carl Monday submitted from commenter "That Just Happened" when the jack-happy roving reporter attended the ribbon cutting ceremony of Cleveland''s RTA HealthLine, which is a big fancy bus. Public transportation frotteurists in Cleveland should reconsider using this line to satisfy their need for public groping. More »
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By DAULERIOComment by Yostal: I love hockey in HD. I miss NHL home teams in white. It just feels wrong. 8 Responses | Other threads
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final week reflections
Remembering The Great Carl Monday
Anyone who just came across this site in the last two years might know about the genius that is Carl Monday. With our last week upon us, we felt it was the least we could do to reintroduce you all. More »
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By Will LeitchComment by A Pimp Named DaveR: Good god... for a second there I thought that Carl Monday was dead, and this was his memorial post. I couldn't... more » | Other threads
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jackin it
Stanley Pringle: Jackin' It
You know, it's really annoying when athletes-masturbating-in-libraries stories break in the evening and we have to wait until morning to write about them. If we can't be your leader in library masturbation coverage, we're not sure what our point is.
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By LeitchComment by Loudon Peppermilk's Academy of Literal Dance: On EA's March Madness '09, his ball-handling skills will be improved, but his awareness level will drop. more » | Other threads
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competitive wanking
It Is Time, Once Again, To Wank For A Cause
It's the news you dared not hope was true: Nearly 10 years after it was introduced in San Francisco, the Masturbate-A-Thon is making its triumphant return. To The Netherlands! What took you so long, Dutch people? (Carl Monday dons raincoat, sounds the Action 4 News Team alert). Oh, like you had anything better to do. More »
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By rickchandComment by UnklStinky: @ Beer-Fart: and, somewhere, Marv Albert discreetly phones his travel agent .... more » | Other threads
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prepare thyselves, cleveland
Evildoers, Beware!
Guess who's back, folks ... GUESS WHO'S BACK?! More »
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By LeitchComment by StartingAces: Carl Monday: up there with "The Movie Loft"'s Dana Hersey at turning around in a dramatic manner. more » | Other threads
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carl monday
They Nominated Carl Monday For Another Emmy .. For THAT Story!
When we stumbled across the infamous Carl Monday / Mike Cooper / library masturbation story more than a year ago, we were stunned when we learned that the Deadspin Hall of Famer had, in fact, won several Emmys. Could this be right? Was the library story just a rare misstep in a career of legitimate muckraking journalism? More » -
mom gets her hillary clinton on
Carl Monday: The Early Years
Ever wonder what drives crusading field journalist Carl Monday? He didn't just pursue the Mike Cooper library case out of thin air; there had to be an underlying force, some childhood trauma, perhaps, which would cause him in later life to obsess over a perfectly ordinary human function. We wonder what that could have been? What psychologically tumultuous event from his distant memory served to push him toward investigative reporting in a trenchcoat? Hmmm. More »
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By rickchandComment by What Would Kornheiser Do?: C'mon, over! We got Tera Patrick! more » | Other threads
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carl monday
You Can't Keep A Good Trenchcoat Down
Technically speaking, our old pal Carl Monday is contractually obliged to stay off the air until October after switching stations in Cleveland. But there is corruption to be uncovered, and evildoers to be apprehended! And he's not about to let a silly non-compete clause stand in the way of finding the TRUTH! More » -
carl monday
Folks, Do We Ever Have The Job For You
A few months ago, we told how our old friend Carl Monday was taking on a new gig with a new station. Well, he's fortifying for his investigations; he's hiring an assistant, and that assistant could be you. More »
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By LeitchComment by DamnSkippy: Hey Pacman Jones would be perfect for this! He's got some time on his hands and he's very familiar with... more » | Other threads
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carl monday
Carl Monday Is Now Ready To Get Serious
As we close the book on Super Bowl XLI and look forward to the future, we think it's important to remember where we came from, who shaped us and made us who we are today. We're talking of course about the great Carl Monday, who announced over the weekend that he's jumping ship and heading to a new Cleveland television station. But that's not all: He's earning a new lease on life, too, and he's gonna Change His Ways. More »
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By LeitchComment by Signal to Noise: Don't worry about Carl Monday going soft on us with this move. Oof, puns. As someone stuck in the beginning... more » | Other threads
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polls
Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Carl Monday Vs. Barbaro
And here we are, the matchup we are personally most curious about, the one featuring the infamous Carl Monday and good ole Barbaro, who would be a late charger if only his hoof would grow. We have been looking forward to this one since this got started. More » -
polls
Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Carl Monday Vs. Stephen A. Smith
All right: Time for the next step in the Elite Eight. This thing is gonna fly by now, by the way; the final two Elite Eight matchups will be next week, and then it's Final Four time, and then, jeez, then this whole virtual construction is completed. To remind you, here's the bracket (Berman's got a considerable lead over Leinart, but there's still time to vote.) More » -
polls
Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Carl Monday Vs. Ricky Manning Jr.
We're off to the next first-round matchup, and this one seems likely to be more of a blowout than the potential upset brewing in the Roethlisberger-Mikulik matchup. (Polls are open, by the way, until all first round matchups are completed.) More » -
outdoors
Please Heed These Tips For A Safe And Fun Halloween
This is for all of you Halloween revelers who are planning on being clever tomorrow night and dress up like Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. And you know who you are. We see you with the Paul Hogan hat and the toy sting ray and the too-tight khaki shorts, and we're begging you to stop. My God, many of you even have toy crocodiles. Ecch. Just don't do it. And not because it would be in poor taste, but because it's lame; everyone is going to have the same idea. From the Snopes.com message board: More » -
carl monday
Someone Should Probably Do A Report About This
We don't want to make too big of a deal out of this; we are talking about a guy's family here. But it appears clear that that our favorite investigative reporter, who makes a side living busting repeated drunk drivers, should probably keep an eye closer to home. More »
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By LeitchComment by jesuspunchesallpunks: I just put this on the lastest Monday blog. We will see if he publishes it. I heard your daughter got... more » | Other threads
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carl monday
"You Jackin' It?"
Well, here it is: Carl Monday being bum-rushed on "The Daily Show." The segment is as entertaining as we could have hoped — we love Jason Jones' Monday-esque intro — and, we hope, succeeds in finally crossing Carl over to an America that will never, ever be ready for him. More » -
carl monday
Carl Monday, Meet Jon Stewart
You thought Carl Monday, being an Emmy winner after all, was as famous as he could possibly be. But you're wrong: He's about to go mainstream, baby. More » -
carl monday
Carl Monday Is Being Honored Left And Right, Up And Down, Side To Side
The past two weeks have been plenty good for Carl Monday. Not only was he a charter member of our own Hall of Fame, but he also won ... an Emmy! More » -
deadspin hall of fame
Hall Of Fame Inductee: Carl Monday
Presenting the final (for now) member of the inaugural class of the Deadspin Hall Of Fame ... More » -
deadspin hall of fame
Hall Of Fame Nominees, The Day After
After witnessing, in slack-jawed awe, the truly beautiful thing that has been Deadspin Hall of Fame nomination post, we stand before you, at full attention, with the sharpest possible salute we can muster. That was so much fun to be a part of that the actual Hall of Fame almost seems redundant. More »
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By LeitchComment by Buzz's Monkey Butler: Yeah, I hate Bill Simmons. You know, I think that if we had an induction ceremony, Carl Monday would probably show... more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
YWML Night Is Here
Well, now that the Cleveland Plain-Dealer has weighed in on the No. 2 Deadspin ongoing gag, it's time to hop back to No. 1 again.
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By LeitchComment by David Pinto: You should be very proud, inspiring two minor league promotions! more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
Beware The Power Of Carl Monday
So you know how yesterday was supposed to be Carl Monday Day for the Dunedin Blue Jays? Well, it turned out the game was postponed, but not because of the rain storms that hit the area. Nope, it's something much more ominous. More »
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By LeitchComment by jesuspunchesallpunks: Monday is watching masturbate in the rain more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
So, hey, if you happen to be in the Dunedin, Fla. area tonight, it's the first of those big fun Dunedin Blue Jays promotions inspired by this here Web site. Tonight's festivities: Carl Monday Mustache Night. It's becoming increasingly easy to get in for a reduced $3 admission.
The following fans will recieve a general admission ticket for just $3.
In addition, it's also Ernie Whitt Night at the ballpark. If anybody makes it out there, we obviously would love a photographic record. And just three more days until YWML Thursday. Active week. Carl Monday Mustache Night [Dunedin Blue Jays]
All fans named "Carl" or any form of "Carl" (including Karl, Carla, Carlo, Carlos, etc).
Fans that have any part of their name that happens to also be a day of the week (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.
Fans with mustaches, fake mustaches, or drawn on mustaches (no beards)
Fans wearing an Ohio State shirt/sweathsirt.
If a fan fits all four descriptions, they will recieve a general admission ticket for free.
It's Carl Monday Night At The Ballpark [Deadspin] (By the way, we've been informed that we are to tell you that YWML T-shirts are 20 percent off this week. So you know.) (UPDATE: Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. The game was rained out. Mustache Monday is now Mustache Tuesday; the doubleheader starts at 5 p.m.) (SECOND UPDATE: We're told the 20 percent off promotion was for Monday only. Our fault: Sorry.) -
carl monday
Gentlemen, Start Your Wanking
Right now Carl Monday is snapping down the protective visor on his riot helmet, scrambling into the back of the WKYC Action News van and yelling "Let's roll!" Yes, the big Masturbate-A-Thon is tomorrow,* which, if you live in Europe, still leaves you plenty of time to get to Drop Studios in London for the 2 p.m. tip-off. We'd just like to remind all prospective tossers, however, that this is not a free-for-all. There are rules, as listed on the official 2006 Masturbate-A-Thon site: More »
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Comment by jesuspunchesallpunks: Mike Cooper should already be in the hall of fame for this whole event more » | Other threads
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whimsy
Visiting The Scene Of His Namesake's "Crime"
What do you do when your real name is Mike Cooper — but you're not that Mike Cooper — and you've found your MySpace page inexplicably inundated over the last month or so? More » -
baseball
It's Carl Monday Night At The Ballpark
As you know, we're big fans of minor league baseball, particularly the odd promotions they put together from time-to-time. (We still think our favorite is the time a team gave away free vasectomies on Father's Day.) And a couple of weeks ago, we pointed you to the Dunedin Blue Jays' professional wrestling promotion. Well, now it appears the Blue Jays have decided to put together a promotion around something that's even less credible than professional wrestling: Blogs. Specifically, ours.
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whimsy
Finally, YouTube Of Monday-Cooper, Part II
We know, it's a week-and-a-half old now, but we never did get a hold of YouTube of the gripping finale of the Carl Monday-Mike Cooper saga, and it has been nagging us, since we this whole thing started from YouTube anyway. More »
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By LeitchComment by spinachdip: But jesus, are you using your left or your right? more » | Other threads
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whimsy
Only A Matter Of Time Before This Becomes An Olympic Sport, You Know
It is at once Carl Monday's worst nightmare, and everyone else's dream come true. On August 5, hundreds of people will gather in a hall in central London to, um, pleasure themselves for charity. We only wish we were kidding about the UK's first "masturbate-a-thon," in which contestants — both men and women — will compete in a series of self-love events to raise money for safe sex groups. We hear you snickering; but as Woody Allen once said on the subject, "Hey, I don't make fun of your hobbies." More »
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Comment by Becky_MI: Well, if as a lady, the helper item I have to look at is the photo of Jimmy Johnson hovering... more » | Other threads
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whimsy
One Final Monday-Cooper Explosion ... Be Ready
So if you're like us and you spend your weekends doing everything you can to avoid the computer, you might not know about this yet. So we feel like maybe you should sit down. Take a deep breath. You might not be ready.
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By LeitchComment by Terrible Terry Tate: Carl Monday just wishes he was the library cop from Seinfeld. Detective Bookman > Carl Monday more » | Other threads
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whimsy
It Just Keeps Giving
I'm afraid I gave you only part of the story with the earlier Mike Cooper post. Carl Monday has gotten himself involved again, and where there's Carl Monday, there's more story. More »
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By mjdeadspinComment by The Fan’s Attic: cj85--Dave Chappelle did go to middle school in ohio and has a ranch in Yellow Spring, Ohio...so, he very well... more » | Other threads
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whimsy
Mike Cooper Avoids Jail Time; Prison Showers
The sentence has come down, once again, courtesy of our man Jimbo. Mike Cooper, he of library-masturbating fame, was found guilty, and was fined $150 plus court costs. That's it. Bail was $500,000, and the fine is $150. All is well that ends well, I suppose. Who among us hasn't paid $150 for an orgasm? Of course, in most cash-for-sexual-transactions, you'd like the orgasm to be brought about by another person, but I suppose things don't always work out that way. More »
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By mjdeadspinComment by Jackwraith: Unreal. And the woman anchoring the broadcast goes right through this as if this is something the public NEEDS to... more » | Other threads
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whimsy
The Mike Cooper Sentencing ... You Are There!
Well, the Mike Cooper sentencing is over, and our man Jimbo was, indeed, there. We're still not sure precisely what Cooper's sentence was — Jimbo didn't make it that far into the proceedings — but he was there, and he even captured Cooper and his parents on his camera phone ... kind of. More » -
whimsy
It's Judgment Day For Mike Cooper
Today, friends, could be the final chapter in The Most Amazing Story Of Our Time: Mike Cooper himself is due to be sentenced today, at 1:30 p.m. ET, in Berea Municipal Court. More »
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By LeitchComment by Frank Grimes: Man alive, If Ted Stevens is right, Mike Copper is personally going to jam up the intertubes (remeber, this is... more » | Other threads
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carl monday
Carl Monday Is Not Scared Of Your Internet
Carl Monday has been CLEVELAND'S INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER for decades, but only recently has he earned himself officially Interwebs Superstar status. (Which is probably why he was beaten on the Eddie Griffin story.) It seems that Monday is less than comfortable with his new notoriety. More »
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By LeitchComment by Weird Uncle wannabe: Carl Monday's story of how he got his name needs some investigation of its own. He claims that he... more » | Other threads
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whimsy
Get Away From Carl Monday, Voyeurs!
Well, if you're not quote ready to let go of Carl Monday's investigative brilliance, it appears Carl Monday himself is. On his "blog" over the weekend, Carl cordially requested we let the library report go. He says "response to the reports has practically short-circuited our blog" and blames the uproar on "cyberspace [being] a virtual wonderland for the voyeristic individuals among us." This is absolutely true; Monday's report was, if nothing else, intensely titillating. More »
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By LeitchComment by thoughtcriminal: FREE MIKE COOPER!!!! Thanks Carl Monday for ruining his life on TV. I don't see how beating it in the... more » | Other threads
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whimsy
Defending Mr. Cooper
So we've been thinking about the $500,000 bond required of the victimized Mike Cooper, and we did a little search through Google News for some comparisons. More »
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By LeitchComment by RowdyRoddyPiper: Not to belabor the point, as bail has been reduced to a more reasonable level, but one more time: ... more » | Other threads
carl monday
New York, 7:34 PM
Thu Jul 9
27 posts in the last 24 hours
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