Ah yes, the old 9-3 in the scorecard (or the incongruous "J. Beckett grounded out to right" in the play-by-play).

Late last night, a reader pointed us to a Carlos Beltran tweet, the latest in a series of strange tweets from the resurgent Cardinals outfielder. And it was pretty odd: "I hope you have enjoyed chewing gum today." A nice sentiment, to be sure. We at Deadspin certainly hope you have enjoyed chewing gum today, if chewing…

Cardinals outfield Carlos Beltrán may rank sixth in extra-base hits among active players, but he clearly thinks he's #1 at something—as his use of nonverbals at today's Braves-Cardinals game displayed. (Enjoy the SportSouth crew fumbling to cover for the extended middle finger.)

Remember a few hours ago when we were reliving the embarrassment of the first Mets spring training, glancing over our shoulders, marveling at how far we had come, how professional things are now?

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall.) This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!

Carlos Beltran was not a New York Met. I don't mean this literally — Beltran's Mets career spanned six and a half seasons, from 2005 until yesterday. He was with the Mets almost exactly as long as Keith Hernandez was, and longer than Reggie Jackson was with the Yankees.

Any of you know what the hell this means? Backward, defeatist: these are your New York Mets, with their fearless skipper leading the charge.

Listen, Chase Utley's Friday Night Slide into Ruben Tejada (video here) was a little over-the-top; not just because the Mets are as harmful a foe as a bike helmet, but because he went behind the bag at 'em.

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

"The only thing that I know is he will be watched every time he faces us. Hopefully we kill him, and then he'll have to deal with the situation." [NYDN]