Unless your team is in the Ivy League, of course, but no one feels sorry for those eggheads. Cornell has secured the first NCAA bid of the year by finishing off their regular season league crown. But in every other conference, each and every school—no matter how pathetic—can hang on to that fleeting, desperate hope of running the table in their conference tournament and getting that automatic bid. That's why there's no need to ever expand the field of 65, because no one is ever truly eliminated until now.

Three more conferences will give out their bids today—Atlantic Sun, Big South, Ohio Valley. And while other teams in the big conferences are still fighting for their regular season championships and higher seeds, and while Pitt-UConn and Duke-UNC will probably be great games, it doesn't really matter who wins. None of their seasons are ending this weekend and it's the do or die action that really gets fans' blood pumping.

Cornell tops Penn, repeats as Ivy champ [Philly Inquirer]
NCAA Tournament Tracker [Rivals]

Motivational Platitudes didn't exactly take off, so I'm skipping that today. But the random emails continue to show up in the STF in-box, so I'm going to take what the day brings. Today, it's this stuffy little tidbit delivered by the BBC, and passed on to me by reader Jon (not Joe) Buck:

The rough ratio of pi 3.14 gives us the date for Pi Day. March 14, or 3/14 in American dating style, makes sense for a celebration of this famous constant.

In ancient Greece, the great mathematician Archimedes worked tirelessly to discover the ratio, uncovering only a few digits of accuracy. When he tried to stop a Roman soldier from blundering over his work by shouting "do not touch my circles" he was unceremoniously murdered.

Hold on... here's where I relate that to basketball.

Obviously, there's a lot of geometry that goes into the basket interference rule, but what's interesting about this news item is that phrase "do not touch my circles". Strangely enough, that exact grouping of words has been used several times in the college basketball world. For example:

• Former USC star Harold Miner ("Baby Jordan" if you will), who was known for his intricate, OCD-level free-throw routine, was heard to ban teammates from the top of the key with those exact words.
• Shirtless Bruce Pearl said "do not touch my circles" to the UT students located to the right and left of him in the famous body-painting photo. Say what you will about him, the man is fastidious when it comes to nipple hygiene.
• Our final example may well be a mis-quote. It is believed that Kelvin Sampson used this phrase to warn fellow Big Ten coaches away from his Indiana recruits. Insiders say that the exact wording is more likely to have been "Do not touch my My Circle!"

Small world, eh? From Archimedes to Kelvin Sampson. Only on Deadspin.

Some Early Scores

Wisconsin 51, Michigan 34
North Carolina 83, Florida State 70
Texas 66, Oklahoma State 59
Tennessee 89-South Carolina 87

Tonight's Tournament Action

With C-USA's lame-ass contenders for a bubble spot both getting booted in the early rounds of their conference tourney, we can now ignore what happens there unless some enterprising team upsets Memphis. Which, honestly, would be better for the conference as a whole, but I'm sure Coach Cal isn't feelin' it. Aside from the one final, the best games here are semifinals with NCAA seeding implications. Here's what's on tap for this evening.

Patriot League Final: #3 Colgate vs. #1 American. Oh, man, this is bad. What if Colgate gets in? We already have Cornell, and we know people can't tell the difference. Thanks to Bucknell's first round upset of the second-seeded Navy Midshipmen, Colgate has only faced a #6 and a #7 on their way to this game. American swept the season series, and are playing this one at home. If they succeed tonight, it will be the program's first NCAA tournament bid ever.

A-10 Semifinal: #5 St. Joseph's vs. #1 Xavier. We know St. Joe's can beat the X-men. They did it on their home floor a few days ago. Xavier won the earlier game in Cincinnati, so the neutral court makes this one very interesting. Will Pat Calathes crumble under the strain of being the last, best hope for the Calathes family? Tune in and see.

A-10 Semifinal: #6 Charlotte vs. #2 Temple. Notable primarily for the fact that Temple still needs this game to inch toward the top of the bubble. If the bizarre happens, and St. Joe's and Temple meet in the final, the entire city of Philadelphia will heave a sigh of relief. OK, not really.

Big East Semifinal: #5 West Virginia vs. #1 Georgetown. I'm no bracketographist, so I don't know where to seed West Virginia if they take down the Hoyas. I do know that it would be a single digit, and it would rhyme with "jive." They could move up to "spore" or "flea" if they win the tournament outright.

Big East Semifinal: #7 Pitt vs. #6 Marquette. This seed pairing in just about any other conference would lead to a half-empty building. But since the Big East tournament is played in Madison Square Garden, we'll wait until the Knicks are in town again before that happens. The distance between the #1 and the #7 seed in this conference is about as wide as Milla Jovovich's hips, so this is a quality game.

Pac-10 Semifinal: #4 USC vs. #1 UCLA. Both teams are basically playing at home, so I'll be sorely disappointed if the Staples Center doesn't have a March Madness atmosphere for this one. Love Mayo? Why, yes, yes I do.

Pac-10 Semifinal: #3 Washington State vs. #2 Stanford. Great game, as you can probably guess, but it will definitely stand well in the shade of the all-Cali side of the bracket. There's not a lot I can say about these teams that I haven't said already this year, except that I'd like to thank Taylor Rochestie for getting these late games over faster for us East coast dwellers. Rochestie doesn't dick around when the ref gives him the ball for a free-throw. That thing is on its way to the basket the minute he touches it. It's the little things that matter.

Big 12 Semifinal: #6 Texas A&M vs. #3 Kansas State. Both of these teams are probably feeling pretty safe right now, due to the Thursday Carnage. But it wouldn't hurt to get an insurance win. I will say this: I am a Kansas fan, but the 2008 NCAA tournament should include K-State and Michael Beasley. God knows what Bill Walker will do at this level! And I'm not talking about basketball prowess when I say that.

Big Ten Quarterfinals: #10 Illinois vs. #2 Purdue. Oh, man, this is pure ass-kissing. I just can't do it. (Ed. Note: Oh, go ahead: Try.)

Also Screwed: You! As your significant other says "It's a nice spring day, why don't we get out of the house for a change?"

This is the busiest time of the year for college hoops, so you can count on the Closer running throughout the weekend, as we keep up with developments on the hardwood. In addition, we will have reaction to the brackets following the Selection Show on Sunday. See you then.

Today's Motivational Platitude is direct and to the point, and you can even follow it up with "Suck it, Trebek!" if you wish. That's right, make room for Sean Connery, Motivational Speaker.

Deadspinner Joe K. sent us one of Sir Sean's finest moments, from the Nic Cage action vehicle The Rock:

"Losers try their best. Winners go home and fuck the Prom Queen"

And it's double-fun to say it in the Connery accent. Which brings me to one of my favorite things about old-school acting. In the twenty-first century it has become common for Brits and Aussies to play Americans with perfectly trained U.S. accents. Back in the day? If you hired Connery, you were getting his mush-mouth, too. He was a thistle-sporting Russian in Anna Karenina, then he was an Arab Sheik by way of Edinburgh in "The Wind and the Lion", and in "Highlander", he was, oddly enough, chosen to play the Spanish character, while Frenchie Christopher Lambert butchered the Scots burr. Good times.

Now back to sports, as we daydream that maybe, one day, Sir Sean will be tapped to star in the film biography of former Temple coach John Chaney. That would be a challenge.

Early Results

Georgetown 82, Villanova 63. Georgetown seemed to have this game well in hand in the first half, going into the locker room with an eleven-point lead. The blue n' white came out hot to start the second, however, and quickly had the game tied up. In the end, the traditional post-game Parade of Free Throws buried the Wildcats. Do they dance?

Western Michigan 70, Eastern Michigan 61. How the heck else are we supposed to know which side of Michigan is the best? Speaking of Michigan...

Michigan 55, Iowa 47. Manny Harris did his thing, Dawg. He worked it out. So did DeShawn Sims (21 pts, 10 rebs).

West Virginia 78, Connecticut 72
Xavier 74, Dayton 65
Florida State 70, Wake Forest 60
Oklahoma State 76, Texas Tech 72
Illinois 64, Penn State 63
Boise State 80, Hawaii 74
Miami 63, N.C. State 50
Brigham Young 89, Colorado State 62

Tonight's Tournament Action

No do-or-die Finals on today's slate, so it will be more interesting to look at the implications for seeding and bubble burstage.

Big East Quarterfinals: #6 Marquette (23-8) vs. #3 Notre Dame (24-6). "This game will be close throughout. I'm not just sure, I'm HIV positive"
/South Park.

Both teams are nationally ranked, which, QUITE FRANKLY doesn't mean shit at this point of the year. Notre Dame can lock up a top-four seed if they win this game. I'm sure Marquette wouldn't mind moving up, either.

Big East Quarterfinals: #7 Pitt (23-9) vs. #2 Louisville (24-7). A Tale of Two Seasons. Pitt started hot and then struggled due to injuries, eventually coming back to form to lock up a tourney bid. Louisville was up and down in the early going before reeling off nine straight dubyas to fulfill their promise. Pit(ino) vs. Pitt! BE THERE!!!!

A-10 Quarterfinals: #7 LaSalle (15-16) vs. #2 Temple (18-12). STF has boots on the ground for this one. Our editor and one of our frequent Road Trip correspondents are both attending the A-10 tournament. Tourney chances are off the bubble and circling the drain at La Salle Balls State, but as long as they can still win the A-10 crown, there's still a chance. /Lloyd Christmas

A-10 Quarterfinals: #6 Charlotte (19-12) vs. #3 UMass (21-9). Again, many pundits have UMass in at this point, so this should be the beginning of the push for a better seed. Charlotte's profile is irretrievably damaged by the fact that they remind people of an emo band, even when they're Good.

Pac-10 Quarterfinals: #6 Oregon (18-12) vs. #3 Washington State (23-7). Call it - this is the Ducks' best chance to make their case for inclusion in a tournament that doesn't play its Final Four in MSG.

Pac-10 Quarterfinals: #7 Arizona (19-13) vs. #2 Stanford (24-6). Here it is, Wildcats. I say (with no authority at all) that if you can win this one, you're in. Stanford is also in a bit of a funk since the wacky goings-on at Pauley Pavilion a few days back. The buzzword here is consistency, as in consistently win one game after another. That's one of those things the Selection Committee likes to see.

Mountain West Quarterfinals: #6 Utah (16-13) vs. #3 New Mexico (24-7). The Lobos are chewing Bubblicious since they dropped into the third spot in the Mountain West. They likely need UNLV to drop out of the tournament early to increase their chances, but for now, they can only control the outcome of this game.

In with Auto-Bids: Cornell (Ivy), Winthrop (Big South), Belmont (Atlantic Sun), Austin Peay (Ohio Valley), Drake (Missouri Valley), George Mason (CAA), Siena (MAAC), San Diego (WCC), Butler (Horizon), Davidson (SoCon), Oral Roberts (Summit), Western Kentucky (Sun Belt), Mount St. Mary's (NEC), Portland State (Big Sky)

See you again in the morning with recaps of the night's tournament action. If you have a Motivational Platitude you'd like coaches to try out, send it to me at stormingthefloor@gmail.com.

And, by the way: Bob Knight's cat would like a word with you.

Yesterday I put out a call for Motivational Platitudes that any coach could use to exhort his troops to greater effort on the court. Tonight, many bubble teams and wannabes will be taking the floor, and we have just the thing to spur them one step closer to that coveted auto-bid: an encouraging quote.

Tonight, if the standard pre-game speeches aren't cutting the mustard, and the kids are still committing costly errors, Gourmet Spud would like to recommend this quote from Major League:

"This is my last shot at a winner. And for some of the younger guys, it could be their only shot. I don't know what happened to you. But if you ever, EVER tank another play like you did today, I'm going cut your nuts off, and stick 'em down your fuckin' throat!"

That might sound a bit harsh, but Spud says he repeats this quote as he looks into the mirror every morning, and it's made him a top commenter, so a little tough love might be just what these kids need to reach their One Shining Moment.

Early Bubble Results

And here's one team that won't be needing any more motivational speeches coupled by one that will need a humdinger tomorrow.

Big East First Round: Villanova 82, Syracuse 63. Far be it from me to suggest that this is the end of the road for Syracuse, lest my house be firebombed with orange paint this evening, but this is the end of the road for Syracuse. The team should be incredible next year, with more experience and a healthy lineup. Super-frosh Greene and Flynn did their damage, but Villanova was led by Scottie Reynolds' 22 points and 6 assists as the Wildcats opened up a ray of sunshine for the Greater Philadelphia area (St. Josephs' game will end too late for this update). Next up for 'Nova is big, bad #1 seed Georgetown.

Tonight's Tournament Action

Numbers before team name are tournament seeds.

Big Sky Final: #2 Northern Arizona (21-10) vs. #1 Portland State (22-9). Lumberjacks vs. Vikings. That sounds like much better television than the new American Gladiators. As the top seed, Portland State is playing at home in the Rose Garden, so if a good crowd shows up, this could be a great one to watch. The Lumberjacks are putting it all on the back of Kyle Landry, who dropped 21 points on Weber State to get them to the final conference tourney game of the Big Sky season.

NEC Final: #4 Mount St. Mary's (17-14) vs. #3 Sacred Heart (18-13). If you think you're having fun with Oral Roberts' bid, imagine what you could do with a Mount Saint Mary's win tonight. The Mountaineers are led by 14 ppg-scorers Chris Vann and Jeremy Goode, and are in the midst of a four-game win streak. Sacred Heart once boasted an eight game streak that had them atop the NEC in mid-season, only to go all inconsistent on us, or "tank". And we know what happens when you tank.

SWAC Quarterfinals: #1 Alabama State (19-9) vs. #8 Texas Southern (7-24). Chief Kickinstallionsims update: The 7'1" All Name First-Teamer had by far his best game of the year in a 103-83 rout of Jackson State to end the regular season. He scored 22 points and grabbed 6 rebounds to propel Alabama State into the SWAC tourney as a clear #1 seed.

Pac-10 First Round: #10 Oregon State (6-24) vs. #7 Arizona (18-13). OK, it's time to stop enabling the Wildcats. They know Lute is coming back next season, and they're playing a team that managed to go 0-18 in the conference. For the love of all that is holy, try and look alive out there, Zona.

MAC Tournament. Speaking of Motivational Platitudes, the suits who run the MAC tournament have sort of given up on happy talk. After years of catchy slogans pumping up the fantastic mid-major conference, they've grown tired of trying to get students to give up spring break for basketball in Cleveland. Sons of Nev report that this year's slogan is "This time... be there". It's the beach or Bowling Green, which would you choose?

See you again in the morning with recaps of the night's tournament action. If you have a Motivational Platitude you'd like coaches to try out, send it to me at stormingthefloor@gmail.com.

Before we dive right into the previews of tonight's action, I want to be sure to warn any potential floor stormers about the dangers of running pell-mell onto the hardwood. Arena staff are taking this stuff seriously this year - they'll let you on the floor, but try not to just run them over on your way down.

Evidence of this new approach can be seen above. At first, when I saw the yellow rope come out under the basket, I thought to myself "hmm, this could be a verrry interesting new routine the dance team has put together." But alas, it was event staff trying to contain the rampaging hordes that were soon to descend. So anyway, watch yourselves. And as the arena announcers often say "please conduct yourself in a considerate and safe manner, you savages."

In addition, I want to debut the motivational platitude of the day, in which we take one of our beloved pop culture references, and use it to encourage tonight's athletes to fight for victory. Today, I've chosen "Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'" from The Shawshank Redemption. If you have a suggestion for tomorrow, email it to me at stormingthefloor@gmail.com.

Tonight's Conference Tournament Games

Horizon League Final: #2 Cleveland State (21-11) vs. #1 Butler (28-3). This one is at historic Hinkle Fieldhouse, home of the Butler Bulldogs. You may already be familiar with the Indiana school's top players, Steve Nash A.J. Graves and Mike Green. But you'll also want to keep an eye on Freshman Forward Matt Howard (12.5 ppg), who is part of the future of this mid-major darling. Cleveland State is led by J'Nathan Bullock (14.6 ppg), who is not to be confused with J. Nathan Bullock of the Columbia Business School. Talk about awkward.

Summit League Final: #2 IUPUI (26-6) vs. #1 Oral Roberts (23-8). IUPUI is powered by one man, but three others score in double figures for the Jaguars as well. George Hill is still the bellweather for the squad, with 21.4 ppg and 6.8 rpg. Oral Roberts has some great players, and a Sutton on the bench, but that doesn't change the fact that some people are rooting for ORU for religious reasons, and others for suggestive headline potential.

Sun Belt Final: #4 Middle Tennessee State (17-14) vs. #3 Western Kentucky (26-6) Not only a directional modifier, but the "State" suffix. Something done gone wrong in the Sun Belt. This was supposed to be South Alabama's spot, but the Ronnie Arrow-led squad went wide of the target in the semis, putting their at-large bid in serious jeopardy after last night's developments in the West Coast Conference. WKU showcases the sweet skills of Senior G/F Courtney Lee (20.6 ppg), and would like to continue to do so next week.

Big Sky Semifinal: #3 Weber State (16-13) vs. #2 Northern Arizona (20-10). I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK. Northern Arizona's mascot is a tree-chopper. I'd prefer that to another Wildcat any day. But we'll see how this one plays out.

Big Sky Semifinal: #4 Idaho State (12-18) vs. #1 Portland State (21-9). Vandals vs. Vikings - this is more like it. Portland State has dominated the Big Sky with the true high/low duo of Jeremiah Dominguez (5'6") and Scott Morrison (6'11").

The first round games of the MEAC and WAC also begin tonight, but we won't start worrying about them just yet. Enjoy the Floor Storming!

Eric Angevine writes about college hoops at Storming the Floor and CAAZone. He can be reached at stormingthefloor@gmail.com

Anyone who watches Championship Week games knows that teams come from nowhere to win auto-bids all the time. Often the ability to win has nothing to do with superior talent, motivation, or schemes. It comes down to subtle mental gamesmanship from the players and coaches. Here are a few suggestions for teams that will be fighting for their NCAA tournament lives this week, starting tonight:

South Carolina State/Bethune-Cookman: The winner of this Tuesday tip-off gets to face the #1-seed Morgan State Grizzlies with an opportunity to move on. You may remember that Morgan State head coach Todd Bozeman is not a fan of the ham sammich. A small bribe to the room service staff and you might even have him facing jail time.

IUPUI (vs. Oakland, Summit League Semis): Ask Golden Grizzlies who the Raiders are going to take with their #1 pick. Discuss it every time you D-up on one of their players. This question will confuse and irritate them, as the school is located in Michigan, not California.

William & Mary (vs. George Mason, CAA final): This is more of a warning than a suggestion: wear a cup. I mean it. Everyone remembers GMU's dramatic run to the Final Four a couple of seasons ago, but few remember that it started with a low blow in the conference semis. Patriots coach Jim Larranaga suspended one of his best players for the offense, still got the at-large bid and the first-round win, and things took off from there. If you think he won't order nut-punches for your entire lineup to get a championship, you're dead wrong.

Gonzaga (vs. San Diego, WCC final): Gonzaga players should occasionally yawn and say things like "Damn, I must have gotten, like, twelve hours of sleep last night." San Diego needed 2OTs in the Sunday night game to make it to the finals. DO NOT make Jenny Craig Pavilion jokes, as this will only remind them that they are playing at home.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Sometimes a simple "your sister" comment can lead to a head-butt and ejection. But get creative - this is your one shining moment.