Deadspin: Cheaters

Facebook Makes It Easier, And More Difficult, To Cheat In College

Leitch — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:10:17 EDT

We are still somewhat new to the world of Facebook — and we really, really don't want to Facebook chat, and we'd rather not the world know that we bought two tickets to Baby Mama — but if we had access to it when we were in college, we suspect we would have had a different experience. We definitely would have gone to class less. That said, we're not an athlete, and we don't have to hide anything.

Andy Robinson, the leading scorer for the University of Buffalo, was recently assigned a report on There Are No Children Here. Because reading is for suckers, he asked for some help on Facebook.

"I am paying anybody who have read the book "there are no children here' by Alex Kotlowitz $30-40 which in some classes you have to read at UB (even more money if you have to read the book a little more!!) to write a 3-4 page paper, on a couple questions which was assigned."

We love the idea that he's willing to pay more for someone who is willing to glance over the book again, rather than just opine from some vague memory. Robinson was caught, because Facebook can actually be seen by other people, and he's now unable to participate in offseason workouts in lieu of further punishment down the line.

Oh, and all you get is $30-40 for writing papers anymore? That seems awfully cheap. Come on, Andy, you're a college athlete! Bust out the checkbook already.

College Athletes Now Using Facebook To Try And Get Others To Do Their Homework For Them [FanIQ]

Colts Can't Quiet Din Of Controversy

rickchand — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 13:35:42 EST

The search is on for the brave, mysterious security guard who blew the whistle on the Indianapolis Colts' apparent efforts to pipe in extra crowd noise in the RCA Dome on Sunday. It didn't take long for the team's house of lies to come crumbling down, once WBZ photojournalist Bryan Foley was on the case.

Foley has been shooting sports for more than a decade. He was covering the game for WBZ-TV and claims the noise in the RCA Dome was deafening when the Patriots had the ball. "It was almost silent when the Colts had the ball," he said. The noise was so bad he asked a security guard about it. "I asked him, 'Do you go home at night with a headache? Because it's early in the first quarter and my head is already hurting.' He said, 'I don't know if you know this, but they actually pick up the crowd noise and pump it back through the P.A. (public address system)'"

The NFL has already exonerated the Colts on this issue. But when Bob Woodward's book — possibly entitled Hear No Evil — hits shelves in about a year, we'll all wonder how we could have been so blind to the truth. Or um, deaf, actually.

Security Guard Claims Colts Enhance Crowd Noise [WBZ-TV]

Put That Cabbage DOWN

Leitch — Wed, 22 Jun 2005 12:05:28 EDT

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.
So, as far as we can tell it, a pitcher can't have the following substances with him on the mound:

Pine tar
Emory board
Saliva
Vasoline
Mayonnaise
Human excrement
The severed fingers of small children

And now, you can add ... cabbage. A Korean baseball league has told one of its best pitchers that he can no longer wear cabbage in his hat to keep cool during games. The league says, "In common sense, it is difficult to consider that wearing a cabbage leaf will affect pitches. But since it has become a controversy, we decided to set a limit on the boundaries of foreign substances."

We somehow imagine Kim-Jong Il having something to do with this.

Korean League Bans Baseball Cabbage Pitch [BBC News] (via SportsHooligan)

What Not To Put In Your Pants

Leitch — Tue, 21 Jun 2005 14:07:04 EDT

We've been watching this White Sox-Cubs spitball feud with much amusement. It all started when White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle pretty much accused Cubs future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux of cheating, saying he "very well may be using something." (He didn't say his name specifically, going more for the "his name rhymes with 'Sneg Faggex'" argument.)

The Cubs have fired back, in a much more hysterical way. Cubs closer Ryan Dempster responded to Buehrle's charges this weekend.

"Basically I use snot if I have it. Mark, you caught me. I'm glad, with your busy schedule, you had nothing else to do but imply I was using spit on the ball. Doing the relieving thing, I don't have enough time to think of things like that. Although I know that one of the White Sox players, I heard, is using some sort of atomic bomb in his jockstrap."

That person, of course, is Carl Everett. But the bomb is only for women. Seriously. No men or dinosaurs, please.

Buehrle Tweaked By Cubs "Cheater" [Chicago Tribune]