The Tour De France Is Using French Nuclear Tech To Stop Motorized Doping

The professional cycling season stretches from January to October, across every continent, but only one race achieves any kind of crossover into the mainstream sports world. The Tour de France, which starts this weekend at Mont Saint-Michel, accounts for over 80 percent of the annual TV exposure for teams involved,…

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Report: Cycling Official Covered Up Motorized Doping At The Tour De France

According to a report broadcast by French TV station Stade 2, the UCI (cycling’s governing body) obstructed a police investigation into mechanical doping during the 2015 Tour de France. French police had received tips from multiple sources that two cyclists had been using illegal motors in their bikes during the early…

That Time Two Cyclists Tried To Fix A Tour de France Stage And Royally Screwed Up

It’s the final climb of Stage 15 of the 2005 Tour de France, the queen stage of the last Tour Lance Armstrong will win before retiring. A small group featuring the General Classification contenders and a few hangers on is grinding up the Pla d’Adet, when Oscar Sevilla makes the first attack five kilometers from the…

Secret Thermal Camera Footage Allegedly Shows Seven Pro Cyclists Using Illegal Motors In Bikes

Rumors that elite professional cyclists have been riding with small, illegal motors tucked away in their bikes have swirled around the pro peloton ever since this infamous truther’s video presented evidence against Fabian Cancellara in 2010. Despite more suspicious evidence occasionally floating to the surface,…

Multiple Riders Accuse Arnaud Démare Of Cheating To Win Milan-San Remo

Yesterday’s Milan-San Remo was as chaotic, crash-happy, and dramatic as the first Monument of the cycling season should be. A landslide blocked the course and forced a redirect, Michael Matthews ate shit, poor debutante Fernando Gaviria fell at maybe the worst possible time, and Frenchman Arnaud Démare somehow won…

Motorized Doping, Explained: Your Guide To The Weirdest Sports Scandal Of The Year

This weekend, Femke Van den Driessche, a 19-year-old Belgian cyclocross racer, lined up at the U-23 World Championships. She’d previously won the Euros and the Belgian championships, and she was the favorite to get herself a set of rainbow stripes. But she had a bad race, and was forced to exit with a broken chain one…

Investigators: KGB Successor Enforced State-Approved Doping Program For Russian Athletes

The World Anti-Doping Agency just released the results of a months-long investigation into doping allegations leveled against Russian athletes. The investigators found that use of performance-enhancing drugs by Russian athletes—many of them Olympic athletes—is not only widespread, but also supported by the state. Hide…

Texas Linebacker Stricken With Sudden, Timely Bout Of Wefuckedupitis

When in doubt, pretend you’re injured. That’s how Edwin Freeman avoided being caught offside by Cal after the Longhorns linebacker started to head toward the sidelines with the Bears lined up to snap the ball on second-and-goal. Per NCAA rules, Texas burned a timeout for the injury anyway; with the ball at the one…

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Talking to a Married Guy Who Tried and Failed to Get Laid on Ashley Madison

The Ashley Madison data leak was notable for many reasons—its scale being one, its male-skewing demographic another. The site, some are saying, is both for men and full of men (and spammers), and it made me wonder just how easy it was for the average guy to get some Ashley Madison tail. After a little digging, I found…