Dirty Tackle tracked this one down, and it's impressive for the sheer ballsiness of it.

Two Brazilian second division teams were tied for the lead in the standings going into the final day, both needing a win to keep their hopes alive. One of them, Viana, was up 2-0 in the 35th minute of the 2nd half. With no lead safe when the season is on the line, Viana scored some insurance goals. Like, nine goals in the final nine minutes. This was perhaps helped by their opponents walking off the field.

Buying off the other team is one thing, but their division rivals Moto Club bought off the refs and were somehow awarded three penalty kicks in the final ten minutes of their match.

Despite Viana's chairman claiming his team just found their scoring touch, the association is treating it as a scandal. So the lesson here is, when you're paying off your opponents, save a little to pay off the league.

Nine Goals In Nine Minutes [Dirty Tackle]

Last Wednesday, IFK Göteborg's keeper Kim Christensen took it upon himself to move the posts of his goal toward each other, shaving valuable inches off the opponents' target. How do we know? TV cameras caught it all. Whoops.

Amazingly, this isn't the first time he's done it.

I got the tip from a goalkeeping friend a few years ago, and since then I have done it from time to time," he told the Aftonbladet newspaper. In Swedish football, goalposts rest on top of the playing field, making them prime targets for cheaters.

The obvious answer would be to make non-adjustable goals, but I suppose that's why I'm not the Allsvenskan Konung.

The match ended scoreless, so while Christensen faces a fine and suspension, his little tactic worked. Which is no surprise. It would be like

•Painting 5 more yards on the field when your opponent is driving.
•Making the opponents hoop a little smaller, like at those carnival games.
•Giving Livan Hernandez a three-foot wide strike zone in the 1997 NLCS.

Oh wait...

Keeper Guilty of Moving Goalposts [BBC]
Danish Goalie For Swedish Soccer Team Is A Cheating Bastard [Sportress of Blogitude]

In addition to the cheating allegations, Williams also suffered a violent coughing fit during her three-set victory that had most of the crowd at Roland Garros confused. Williams says these sort of things just happen to her because she's Serena and being Serena requires a certain amount of patience for inevitable wacky situations:

"I'm like one of those girls on a reality show that has all the drama, and everyone in the house hates them because no matter what they do, like, drama follows them," Williams said. "I don't want to be that girl."

Now back to the "cheating" scandal: Sanchez charged the net, the ball appeared to hit off her arm (an automatic loss of point) and Williams argued with the umpire about it. She also added that Sanchez "better not come to the net again" which seemed to imply that her Spanish opponent would end up with a ball lodged in her thorax if she did. Sanchez dismissed Serena's allegations as "stupid" (or stupida, I guess) and moved on. Serena realizes her comments were out of line though, but blamed her reaction on the neighborhood she grew up in.

"Well, you know, I am from Compton, so, you know..."

Serena also added that when she's called off, she's got a saw-off and she'll squeeze the trigger where bodies will be hauled off.

Drama Follows Serena [LAT]
Serena Williams Is A Drama Queen [Chicago Tribune]

The Sun-Times is now reporting that four student-athletes at Simeon High School in Chicago, including Rose, had grades changed on their high school transcripts after graduation. The grades were changed for a brief period before the transcripts were mailed to prospective colleges, and then changed back once they were sent. No one knows who changed the grade or why, and it would not have affected their high school eligibility, although Rose and two of the other athletes that were allegedly involved starred on Simeon's back-to-back state championship teams.

The idea that a guy who spent one year in college before jumping to the NBA might have needed (and received) a whole lot of under-the-table help to get into college must surely be shocking and appalling to you, but Rose is already in the NBA so your righteous anger will need to be funneled somewhere else. How about the spelling bee?

Derrick Rose's high school grade altered [Chicago Sun-Times]

In his new book The Cheater's Guide To Baseball, Derek Zumsteg looks at all the different ways baseball players and managers have cheated (or tried to cheat) throughout the years. It's a highly entertaining book; our favorite part is "Tips For Doctoring Bats For Amateur Players."

Zumsteg has set up a blog for the book, and he thinks he caught Angels closer Francisco Rodriguez messing with the ball a couple of nights ago.

4-2-2007, against the Rangers, K-Rod put something on the ball repeatedly during the 9th inning, and wasn't even subtle about it. First, I'm going to admit these are bad pictures. ... Compare the movement on those pitches to the movement on the fastballs where he clearly doesn't go to the hat brim. Also, watching the video, it's a lot more striking than stills can easily convey — it's clearly not a cap adjustment, but something else entirely.

Honestly, we kind of want to hire Zumsteg to watch all games and point out all the little cheats. We don't really mind cheating — everyone cheats, at everything — but we think it's fun when someone points out something that we miss but should be obvious.

Francisco Rodriguez Doctoring The Ball [The Cheater's Guide To Baseball]

(UPDATE: MLB says the substance was "resin.")

A chase ensued, the guy was unable to get away, and as it turns out, he's a WVU student. He originally claimed to be a student at UAB, another Marshall rival, but when he was searched, they found contact information on him for WVU football coaches. And the 2006 Mercedes-Benz he was driving is registered to a Parkersburg dealership that loans cars to WVU's athletic program.

So, that doesn't look particularly good. West Virginia's AD claims that they did an internal review of the situation, and that the guy was acting on his own. He had a work-study job in the building where the WVU football offices were located, and he's been "reassigned."

As you might imagine... Marshall fans are a bit huffy about the situation. WVU fans are having a bit of fun with it.

This all could've been avoided if WVU had just sent someone to do the job who could actually flee from middle-aged men on foot, if need be. Ultimately, I don't believe it's a big deal. No one's going to learn a whole lot from some formations and plays scribbled down by an undergrad student. Why a preseason Top-5 program needs to spy on friggin' Marshall is a whole other question, but it does seem to make things more fun when people cheat.

Where There's Smoke, There's Fire [The Wizard of Odds]
WVU denies spying on Herd [Herald-Dispatch]