That's right: It's not just Little SAS ranting about the cheesy doodles: It's the real Stephen A. Smith himself.

Here's our favorite part:

"That's what I do when I'm stressed. Some people squeeze a ball. Some people go... kickboxing, or they work out and all this other stuff. I eat Cheez Doodles. That's what I do when I'm stressed. I'm gonna eat my Cheez Doodles."

And then we listen to Stephen A. rant and scream while crunching on Cheesy Doodles. The introduction of Stephen A. Smith to Planet Blog has all kinds of unintended, glorious consequences.

It's Real! It's Real! [Rockin' Steady]
Heckling Stephen A. Without Mercy [Deadspin]

In Part III of his interview with the Los Angeles Daily News' Tom Hoffarth, Stephen A. reveals how he would fix journalism: Prevent bloggers from "disseminating information." We understand that it originally had a laugh track.

"And when you look at the internet business, what's dangerous about it is that people who are clearly unqualified get to disseminate their piece to the masses. I respect the journalism industry, and the fact of the matter is ...someone with no training should not be allowed to have any kind of format whatsoever to disseminate to the masses to the level which they can. They are not trained. Not experts."

It's true: You will not find a writer who has more respect for the journalism industry than Smith ... with the possible exception of the guy who replaced him at the Inquirer, from which Smith was dumped for not having enough respect for the journalism industry.

"Therefore, there's a total disregard, a level of wrecklessness that ends up being a domino effect. And the people who suffer are the common viewers out there and, more importantly, those in the industry who haven't been fortunate to get a radio or television deal and only rely on the written word. And now they've been sabotaged. Not because of me. Or like me. But because of the industry or the world has allowed the average joe to resemble a professional without any credentials whatsoever."

We're not sure how Smith would police his new blog-free society; probably with some sort of expansion of the Patriot Act. Bloggers would be rounded up and sent to Gitmo, there to be made to input guacamole recipes on Rachael Ray's web site.

Smith: Blogs "Should Not Be Allowed" Big Audience [SportsbyBrooks]
Stepehn A. Smith Q&A Part III: Internet Writers Have Sabotaged Newspapers [Farther Off the Wall]

The paper reports not that Stephen A. is losing his column, but that he's "due to return to reporting," which is kind of an insult in itself. The story goes on to:

• Slap Smith by saying, "Smith's column, which he began writing in 2003, last appeared on Friday, when he asserted that the Phillies were in better shape than the Mets."

• Point out that Smith isn't returning calls to his own paper.

• Imply that Smith has been slacking because of his "obligations" to other outlets, mentioning, "Earlier this year, he was on the TV soap opera General Hospital and in the Chris Rock movie I Think I Love My Wife."

They actually link from the online version of the story to the great Slate piece about how television is ruining the sports column. That's a bitch slap, friends. But surely, after all this, Stephen A. will love to come back from vacation to write features on Temple women's basketball, absolutely.

Oh, sorry, we almost forgot: EVERYTHING HE SAYS IS IMPORTANT.

Seriously, though: We're pretty curious what Smith does when he comes back. Will he quit? Sue? Pelt the editor with Cheesy Doodles?

Stephen A. Smith Due To Return To Reporting [Philadelphia Inquirer]

Sources believe Smith's column has been in the cross-hairs for some time. "There was a time when the powers that be were just happy to have somebody that's on ESPN on the masthead," says a source who spoke on condition of anonymity. "But I think the new leadership has been asking itself for a while now whether or not the columns [he] was turning in were justifying his [reportedly generous] salary. And I think they decided he wasn't bringing his A-game."

Our favorite part of this: They've given Smith the option of staying on as General Assignment Reporter. Oh, he's just gonna love that. Do you think a man of STEPHEN A. SMITH'S STATURE is going to be satisfied writing human interest stories on backup kickers for the Philadelphia Sol? Please. The man is a superstar. The good news is that no longer will Stephen A. Smith be weighed down by the burdens of, you know, sportswriting.

Stephen A. Smith Stripped Of Column [Phawker]

(By the way, Lil SAS is back.)