Arsenal Fan Idris Elba Loves Laughing At Sorry-Ass Chelsea As Much As We Do

Idris Elba is from London. Thus, he’s an Arsenal fan. Because his team has been cast over the past decade as The Big Engine That Can’t, he’s had to endure repeated humiliations and ridicule at the hands of the Gunners’ rivals. Now that the shoe’s on the other foot with regards to Chelsea’s God-forsaken season, he’s… »11/18/15 5:27pm11/18/15 5:27pm


Chelsea Fan Loses Job After Calling Liverpool Fans "Scouse Scum" In Online Interview

Looks like José Mourinho isn’t the only Chelsea fan who’s lost it on camera this season. One Blues fan and former partner at an international law firm had to pay for this man-on-the-street interview, where he rails against “Scouse scum” Liverpool fans for rooting against Mourinho, with his job. »11/09/15 3:22pm11/09/15 3:22pm

Why Chelsea Should Stick With José Mourinho

This Chelsea season is beginning to feel like that “Sideshow Bob Steps On Rakes For 10 Minutes” video. The first couple self-inflicted thwacks in the face were funny; the next few established the pattern; and when it continued repeating from there it became even more hysterical than ever, leaving you in stitches if… »11/09/15 12:17pm11/09/15 12:17pm

Referee: Irate José Mourinho Cussed Me Out In Dressing Room

Earlier this week, England’s Football Association gave José Mourinho a fine and a one-match ban from the sideline for some sort of behavior that got him sent to the stands during halftime of Chelsea’s 1-2 loss to West Ham. Now we know exactly why: it was because Mourinho freaked the fuck out on the refs. »11/06/15 3:50pm11/06/15 3:50pm

Wins Were All José Mourinho Ever Had To Stand On

The only thing more unfathomable than a historically great manager having his job status seriously questioned just half a season removed from a title, is said manager and club falling apart so thoroughly that the speculation about his imminent demise begins to appear justified. And yet this is exactly the situation… »11/04/15 3:00pm11/04/15 3:00pm

José Mourinho Continues To Lose, Then Give Great Postgame Interviews

Chelsea lost at home today, as they’ve been doing all season, and José Mourinho gave some performatively defiant comments about his tenuous job status, as he’s been doing all season. Chelsea’s season from hell got worse as they let Liverpool come back and beat them 3-1 on a pair of tremendous Coutinho strikes. Here’s… »10/31/15 2:26pm10/31/15 2:26pm

José Mourinho Caught Apparently Shoving A Kid Trying To Sneak A Selfie

It’s not been the best couple months for Chelsea boss José Mourinho. We already knew that his shockingly poor start to the season and the pressure that has come with it was beginning to fracture the man’s sanity. Now he’s out here in the streets of London, pushing teens who just want a picture.
»10/21/15 9:45am10/21/15 9:45am

José Mourinho's Self-Regard Grows In Inverse Proportion To Chelsea's Record

Hey remember when David Moyes coached United for a year, everyone agreed it was an unmitigated disaster, and it became the standard by which to measure all EPL meltdowns? José Mourinho, the little tyrant man who will probably get fired from the USMNT someday, and Chelsea have started this season three points worse… »10/04/15 11:48am10/04/15 11:48am

Chelsea Players Starting To Rebel Against José Mourinho

It was inevitable that Chelsea’s astoundingly poor performances and results so far this season would lead to some level of internal strife inside the club. We now have confirmation of this, with sources in the team describing a rift between the players and José Mourinho to two different papers. »10/01/15 1:48pm10/01/15 1:48pm

Diego Costa And José Mourinho Are The Shitheads We Need

The more you think about it the more inevitable it seems that José Mourinho—the ne plus ultra of managerial shit-talking, barb-throwing, and incessant needling of rivals—and Diego Costa—his dispositional equivalent on the field, only with elbows substituted for verbal barbs as his projectile of choice—would combine… »9/21/15 4:53pm9/21/15 4:53pm

Remember When A Chelsea Player Waggled His Dick At Stranded Americans The Day After 9/11?

When the first plane hit the north tower of the World Trade Center, it was 1:45 p.m. in London; preparations were well underway across Europe for the eight Champions League matches set to kick off later in the day. The matches went ahead, but the next day UEFA postponed the week’s remaining eight Champions League… »9/11/15 6:05pm9/11/15 6:05pm

Have Manchester City Really Wrapped Up The Premier League Title Already?

Is this real life? We thought it was something last year when Chelsea became champions-elect by the start of November, but sweet Jesus, we’re only four games into the new season and it already looks nearly certain that Manchester City will lift the Premier League trophy come May.… »8/31/15 1:20pm8/31/15 1:20pm

Manchester City Stake Their Claim As The Premier League's Best Team

You wouldn’t exactly describe it as a shock. It was Manchester City, after all. Winners of two of the last four Premier League titles; armed with the best goalscorers in the country; with one of its twistiest, most creative talents; newly infused with the precocious abilities of England’s most promising young prospect »8/17/15 3:20pm8/17/15 3:20pm

Here's José Mourinho's Bullshit Excuse For Why He Demoted His Team Doctor

Earlier this week, José Mourinho demoted Chelsea’s long-serving team doctor, days after he publicly showed her up during a game last weekend. He’s rightly come in for criticism for the decision, so now “sources close” to him have concocted an excuse for the change: the players didn’t feel comfortable around a lady.… »8/12/15 6:46pm8/12/15 6:46pm