Garry Kasparov's love-hate relationship with technology continued on Saturday, as the former World Chess Champion was buzzed by a remote controlled flying penis during a political speech in Moscow. As reported by Gizmodo yesterday, Kasparov seemed bemused by the brief encounter, which ended when an aide swatted the penis to the floor and stomped on it (a little too enthusiastically, if you ask me. Um, Dr. Freud? ...). Most-probably-not-safe-for-work photo after the jump.

Kasparov, the only world champion to lose to a computer in match play (Deep Blue in 1997), retired from chess in 2005 to concentrate on politics. He is now a writer and political activist.

If only the remote control flying penis would use its powers for good, instead of evil.

Flying RC Penis Disrupts Garry Kasparov Speech [Gizmodo]
Trouble In Geekland [Valleywag]

Born in Chicago and raised in Brooklyn, Fischer was a U.S. chess champion at 14 and a grand master at 15. He beat Russian Boris Spassky in a series of games in Reykjavik to claim America's first world chess championship in more than a century. But his reputation as a genius of chess soon was eclipsed by his idiosyncrasies.

Fischer played in eight United States Chess Championships, winning all of them. But he is best known for beating Spassky in their World Championship showdown in 1972; capturing the public imagination by becoming the first U.S. world champion, winning 11 games against the favored Spassky after dropping the first two. He then refused to defend his title against challenger Anatoly Karpov in 1975, and pretty much disappeared after that; reappearing every decade or so to win a major event just to remind us of how great he was. Chess came easily for Fischer, but not so subduing his demons, which were legion. Although of Jewish heritage himself, he became a rather notable detractor of Israel in later life, and was criticized for ant-Jewish remarks he had made on U.S. radio call-in shows in the 1990s and 2000s.

"Bobby Fischer held the world in contempt," says the line by Ben Kingsley from the above-mentioned 1993 movie. The world did not return the favor. Even now it would surprise no one if this were all a hoax, with Fischer hiding out somewhere, laughing contemptuously at us all.

Former Chess Champ Bobby Fischer Dead At 64 [MSNBC]

South Carolina's Bowman Academy has to return their second place trophy in a statewide chess tournament after they used an ineligible player. One of the original 13 entrants couldn't show up, so the team sponsor put in his home-schooled son, who turned out to be a ringer and just kept winning chess matches.

"I did not intend for it to happen this way. ... I did not intend to win a trophy. I had one kid missing and one extra kid standing by," Davis said. And he says, it being his first SCISA event, he didn't understand the severity of the problem.

Good Knight! [Times & Democrat]

A 37-year-old policeman, "Anti-Terror" Frank Stoldt from Berlin, won the first Light-Heavyweight World Championship title in chessboxing after defeating American David "Double D" Depto at the Berlin Tape Club yesterday. After a grueling battle, a checkmate in round seven produced a clear victor.

Hey, "Anti-Terror" is my nickname!

That chessboxing is sweeping the world should surprise no one; ESPN televises it, and there are even youth leagues cropping up. But the sport will never really catch on until they address the many hygeine issues. If I wanted to play an indoor game with a fat sweaty athlete, I'd take on Curt Schilling in World of Warcraft.

Germany Is The World Champion! [WCBO]

The Miami-Dade Community College chess team — as seen above — has steamrolled several Ivy League schools to reach the Intercollegiate Chess Final Four. Naturally, we demand a steroids investigation.

That's right, you don't come into The Dade talkin' smack. That's knight to queen's bishop two, punk.

They're calling it the triumph of the everyman. The Miami-Dade team includes a security alarm salesman, a 34-year-old computer science student, a teacher and grocery store deli worker ... an Indian, a policeman, a construction worker ... It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!

By finishing fourth in the Pan American Intercollegiate Chess Tournament, Miami Dade qualified for this weekend's finals of collegiate chess, facing powerhouses University of Texas-Dallas, Duke University and the University of Maryland, Baltimore County.

Yes, Duke has made the Intercollegiate Chess Final Four. It's rooks and bishops, baby! You do not want to use the Queen's Gambit Declined in front of the Cameron Crazies!

Fla. Community College Checkmates Ivys [Yahoo News]

"I would not know which drug could possibly help a chess player to improve his game," competition manager Yousuf Ahmad Ali told Reuters. "But, yes, there will be official monitors who may demand that players undergo a drugs test after the rounds."

Out of habit, Floyd Landis appeared on HBO's Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel to deny any wrongdoing.

We wonder if they will also test Orry, the official Mascot of the Asian Games. Modeled on a native antelope which was almost hunted to extinction and now exists only in captivity, Orry is not bitter, instead preferring to entertain Asian Games spectators with his playful antics. He also has a special page at the Asian Games web site, in which fans can download screensavers that feature Orry participating in different Asian Games sports. And yes, chess is among them. It got us to wondering: Is there anything in the world less sporting than shooting an antelope which is seated at a desk playing a board game?

Ticket Agent: "Welcome to United Airlines."
Anna Benson: "One ticket to Qatar, please."

Smoking Up At The Oche [GlobeSports]
Chess Players To Face Anti-Doping Measures [Reuters]

Kramnik is facing Veselin Topalov in the Reunification World Championship. It seems that Kramnik was spending an unusual amount of of time in his private bathroom (the only place where players can go during matches that isn't under constant video surveillance), and Topalov filed a protest, accusing Kramnik of somehow cheating in there. The protest was upheld, it was ruled that both players had to use a common bathroom, and now, everyone's upset. Kramnik sat down on the floor outside of his private bathroom, and refused to participate until it was unlocked.

In summary, the most exciting thing to ever happen in Chess revolves around a grown man sitting on the floor outside of his bathroom and pouting.

Toplolov, in addition to the protest, also announced that if the match does continue, that he will not be taking part in joint press conferences with Kramnik, and he won't be shaking his hand. Regardless of anything else that happens, not shaking his hand is probably a good idea.

Bathroom Dispute Halts Chess Championship [New York Times]
Elista 2006: World Championship Crisis [ChessBase]

The aftermath: Gormally withdrew from the tournament; England and Armenia are now locked in a bitter chess feud; and Caoili resumes her quest to become International Chess Queen. We love happy endings.

Chess Queen Triggers Gormallygate [Sydney Morning Herald]
Pawns Fly [Bob Reno Badjocks]
Check Mate [To The People]