Blackhawks Fans Love Some Good Face Licking 

Apparently these fans like getting their face licking on at Blackhawks games, and it seems quite enjoyable judging by the man's orgasmic reaction. This seems like the appropriate time to remind all sports fans that you never know when the camera will be trained on you, so be cautious about doing weird shit at sporting… » 12/06/14 12:10pm 12/06/14 12:10pm

Cuba Gooding Jr. Is Good At Hockey, Stripping

For some reason Academy Award-winning actor and star of Snow Dogs Cuba Gooding Jr. took part in a puck shooting contest at the United Center Tuesday, during intermission between the Blackhawks-Red Wings exhibition game. Despite suffering from the severe competitive disadvantage of having taken a redeye flight to… » 9/23/14 11:31pm 9/23/14 11:31pm

Jonathan Toews And Patrick Kane Are Getting Paid, And They're Worth It

Today the Chicago Blackhawks announced identical eight-year contract extensions for forwards Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane. They will run through the 2022-23 season, and each will carry an annual cap hit of $10.5 million a year. This is a lot of money, and it's also almost painfully reasonable. » 7/09/14 2:09pm 7/09/14 2:09pm

The Kings Will Beat You At Their Game, Or Yours

A game can be a classic without being particularly good hockey. We haven't had a conference final Game 7 go to OT in 20 years, so Kings-Blackhawks qualifies as an all-timer just on sheer novelty, but it was ugly at times. Bad goaltending, lax backchecking, freak bounces on questionable ice, and goals upon goals. Take… » 6/02/14 9:35am 6/02/14 9:35am

Blackhawks Twitter Account Tells Mexican President To Fuck His Mother

Sort of! The poor sap who's running the Chicago Blackhawks Twitter account fell victim to the dreaded hashtag autofill trap and while trying to hashtag the above tweet with "#CHIvsLAK," they instead tagged it "#ChingueAsuMadreEPN." The explicit tag was likely an automatic prompt and they didn't even notice until after… » 6/01/14 10:18pm 6/01/14 10:18pm

The End Of The First Period Of Kings-Hawks Was A Goal Smorgasbord

I've re-written this sentence four times since I originally started this post, and I can't even remember what it was originally going to be about. Anyway, The end of the first period of Game 7 between the Kings and Blackhawks was bananas. With goals from Toews and Saad, Chicago jumped out to an early 2-0 lead and it… » 6/01/14 9:07pm 6/01/14 9:07pm

Blues Fan Has Facepalm For The Ages After Toews Goal

A hearty thank you to reader Justin for pointing this out because it is wonderful. Look at this man who probably smacked himself in the face with such force that his whole section heard the thwack! Go ahead and expand this one to get the full experience, but don't stop there. There's a lot more going on around him,… » 4/26/14 10:05am 4/26/14 10:05am

Jonathan Toews's Overtime Winner Was As Close As It Gets

There's not much space at all between Ryan Miller's skate and the post, but Jonathan Toews used all of it on his backhand winner in overtime against the Blues. Toews gave the Blackhawks a 3-2 overtime win in Game 5 after he found himself at center ice all alone with the puck thanks to a Duncan Keith clearing attempt… » 4/26/14 9:37am 4/26/14 9:37am

Does Your Favorite Team Suck At Keeping An Efficient Payroll?

Businessweek put together a fun ranking of how all 122 franchises in the four major American professional sports leagues burn their money on player payroll. You might be shocked to find out that most successful teams are intelligent with their spending. The top nine of 10 franchises have been to their league's… » 4/24/14 8:23pm 4/24/14 8:23pm