•On the strength of Illinois rallying to top Clemson, Ohio State knocking off FSU, and of course, Wisconsin toppling Duke, the Big Ten took the Big Ten/ACC Challenge for the first time in its 11-year history. Does this mean the Big Ten is tops in the nation? Don't count out the MAC, because Toledo put quite a hurting on non-NCAA, not-even-NAIA Rochester College.

•The Blackhawks will announce today that they've signed Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews and Duncan Keith to long term deals. So their core of young stars will remain intact well into the next decade. Plus, you know, Marian Hossa until 2021.

•The NFL released new concussion guidelines, preventing players from returning to action if they show signs of a concussion. It's not like the rough-and-tumble old days, when a player had to be literally unconscious before they would be given the day off. Oh wait; that was the rule up until yesterday.

•Because everything in soccer has to take for-fucking-ever, FIFA yesterday announced the procedures for the World Cup draw to be held on Friday. Hard to figure out what it means, but people who know say it's not good news for the U.S. Also, the fact that it's soccer, not good news for the U.S.

•Juan Marichal and the family of Johnny Roseboro will attend the opening of a play based upon the former's famous beating of the latter with a bat. The two became good friends, so there's still hope for Mike Piazza's one-man show about his bat-throwing nemesis, "Roger & Me: The Musical!"

•••••

I've got nothing pithy to say. I'm a broken man. Don't ask me to liveblog a Nets game ever again.

For coming into contact with another player in a contact sport, Ladd received a five-minute major for roughing, a game misconduct and an additional minor for roughing for what transpired in the scrum afterward. D'Agostini never returned to the game. Looking at the replay, it looks to me like Ladd caught D'Agostini with his shoulder, not elbow.

Will Ladd get suspended or subjected to additional fines because of the hit? Who knows? The NHL is anything but consistent in these matters. Here's Sean Leahy's two cents from over at Puck Daddy:

As far as supplementary discipline for Ladd? If history is about to repeat itself, don't expect Ladd to be punished anymore than the $200 fine he'll receive for being ejected from the game. Then again, it is the NHL we're talking about, so guessing punishment in this situation would be a fool's game.

Either way, I get the feeling will be subjected to further debate about the danger of headshots. Why can't we just enjoy professional athletes getting their brains scrambled without having to discuss all the long-term, health-related implications that these guys will be forced to endure? Is that so selfish? Yeah, maybe it is, but it doesn't take away from the fact that watching it over and over and over again is immensely entertaining.

Andrew Ladd gives us something to debate this weekend [Puck Daddy]

Naturally, the lawyer for the hockey star claims that his client committed no crime. It was just a simple misunderstanding over a fare. Maybe Kane's cousin might have thrown some haymakers, but he's just a simple country lawyer and wouldn't know anything about that. But why would the cab driver, the supposed victim in all this, try to downplay the whole thing? Is it because he doesn't have a driver's license and he maybe tried to lock Kane and his cousin in his back seat?

The cab driver, Jan Radecki, did what most Buffalo cab drivers do after they pick up two drunk dudes on Chippewa Street at four in the morning. He took them to their destination, but then locked the door, so that they couldn't get out before they paid. Not a bad financial move, until the punches start flying. But his lawyer says it wasn't like that either.

"There was a dispute over the fee and it just kind of escalated from there," LoTempio told the station. "It was not really a robbery. That is probably a large distortion of what happened."

Asked if the case would end up as a felony, he said: "Absolutely not."

"I think we should be able to work things out," he added.

Oh, and the fact that the cabbie didn't have a valid driver's license because of DUI problems stemming back to 1999 might be contributing to his generous nature. Maybe just let the $15 go if it keeps the cops off his back.

So ... problem solved! Nobody knows nothing about nothing. The end.

Patrick Kane's lawyer said the Chicago Blackhawks star did not rob or assault cab driver [ESPN Chicago]
Cabbie's attorney says Patrick Kane incident overblown [ESPN]
Cabbie in Kane case had no valid license : Home: The Buffalo News [Buffalo News]

Kane—who is only 20 years old—was not charged with any alcohol-related offenses, because I guess fighting with cab drivers at 5:00 a.m. could, in theory, be done while sober. (But I wouldn't recommend it.) Kane and his cousin took a cab home on Sunday after a night out in downtown Buffalo and were charged a $13.80 fare. They handed the cab driver $15, but when he informed them that he did not have the two dimes necessary to provide them with the proper change, Kane began beating the driver savagely about the head and neck. Best of all, he brought out the old standby of entitled pricks: "You don't know who you're [messing] with! You don't know who you're [messing] with, [expletive]!" The classics never die.

He also took the money back.

My question is this: 15 - 13.80 = 1.20. So what happened to the other dollar? Was that the tip? Did the driver try to pocket it? Was it used in a bribe attempt once the police arrived? What is the BMSM (Buffalo Main Stream Media) hiding?

Kane's judgment is obviously in question here, but not because he tried to pummel a 62-year-old cab driver over twenty cents. I think the fact that Kane's assertion that having "a long time to hang out back home in Buffalo [is a great feeling]" clearly shows an unstable mind at work.

'Hometown hero' Kane charged with robbing cabbie [The Buffalo News]
Roost Exclusive: Kane in Custody [Picture via The Goose's Roost]
Blackhawks' Kane arrested in Buffalo [3rd Man In]

The NHL is hiring an outside firm to investigate whether Chicago and Philadelphia's respective signings of Marian Hossa and Chris Pronger are illegally designed to circumvent the salary cap. Because cap rules are the most convoluted rules in sports, and you need an advanced economics degree to understand them, here's the CliffsNotes version.

Hossa signed a 12-year deal with the Blackhawks, a ridiculous length for a 30-year-old. But there could be method to the madness. The first eight years of the deal pay Hossa $7.9 million annually, while the final four years only pay $1 million per year.

The potential violation is if Chicago took into account that Hossa is likely to retire around age 38, a pretty likely projection. Then he essentially has an 8-year, $8-million-per deal, but because the annual cap hit is calculated by averaging over the length of the contract, that's only about $5 million per year. He wins, the team wins.

Pronger's deal with the Flyers pays him about $7.5 million annually in the first four years, $4 million in the fifth year and then $525,000 in each of the last two years. That puts the cap hit under $5 million, freeing them up to spend more money.

You can't sign your players to contracts you don't expect them to honor, by retirement or otherwise. The teams could face fines and loss of draft picks, but don't expect any punishments. Similar deals have been vetted in the past, and many GM's believe the league is just posturing. Serves them right: you put a loophole in your CBA, and someone's going to exploit it.

Sources: Hossa, Pronger Deals Probed [ESPN]

Granted, he did forget to mail offer letters to his team's potential free agents this offseason—he's only the general manager, for Pete's sake!—and nearly lost them all on a technicality, but that's water under the bridge. The speculation is that John McDonough, the president of the club, wanted his "own man" running the organization. So Tallon (who has been associated with the Blackhawks since the 1970's; first as a player, then a broadcaster) had to be "re-assigned" and replaced with Scotty Bowman's son. This despite the fact that Tallon took a perennial basement dweller to the Conference Finals in just four years is clearly beloved by his players. (Remember the Canadian wilderness field trip?)

Even Martin Havlat, a player who Tallon let go of this offseason, is defending his old boss with shady threats of revealing THE TRUTH. (Was the offer letter fiasco just a frame up?) Always a good sign for your organization.

So where did McDonough learn these top flight management strategies? His last job was president of the Chicago Cubs. Would you like to take the cyanide now, Blackhawks fans, or would you prefer a revolver?

Blackhawks fire Tallon: Why fix something that's not broken? [Chicago Tribune]
Havlat Uses Twitter to Go After Blackhawks Over Tallon Firing [Fanhouse]
Dale Tallon's dismissal a heartless move [ESPN]
Dale Tallon conspiracy theory in Chicago [SI]

The Blackhawks lost Game One of the Western Conference Finals yesterday, but Burish's head is still attached to the rest of his body so I guess he has that going for him. Teammate Ben Eager got tangled up with a Red Wing player in the second period and his foot—you know the one with the freshly sharpened blade of steely death attached to it?—came flying up over his head, slicing Burish in the neck. Don't worry, it was only ... *sweet jeebus how is he still alive?!!!?* ... a scratch.

And there go my Cheerios....

Chicago's Adam Burish escapes tragedy [Detroit News]

It's the Chicago Blackhawks puck shoot competition during the second intermission of their game with the Sabres on Wednesday. And as you can (almost) see, one participant was so excited that she literally could not contain herself. Who goes upper-torso commando at a hockey game? Blackhawks fans, that's who.

The NHL will do anything to get people to watch.

Here's some video from one of last year's puck shoots. Sadly, no slippage here.

It is a stirring, epic poem of bravery, sacrifice and Happy Meals, so to send you off on your merry way this day-after-Christmas Eve, we present—courtesy of Puck Daddy—a brilliant dramatic reading of the original email chain letter. It's like "The Gift of the Magi," "A Christmas Carol," and "The Notebook" all rolled up into one and made a million times more awesome through the magic of speaking out loud. Enjoy.

Puck Daddy presents the Chicago Blackhawks in "The Funeral Burgers" [Puck Daddy]

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I, for one, am glad this week is over. If any of you are still reading, I thank you for stopping by today and assume that someone will put something up in this space tomorrow. Merry Whatever.

Everyone is talking about it now. It's been passed around through emails and blog posts and now pretty much everyone who covers hockey these days has at least given it a mention. (I didn't notice it on ESPN yet, but that doesn't make the previous sentence untrue.) Even Keith Olbermann mentioned our barely fact-checked report on his show last night and then added a few embellishments himself.

By the time this story gets to Oprah, they'll be riding sled dogs into the Yukon to rescue Dale Tallon from a snowbank. (Why must I make snotty comments like this on such an innocent story? It's a sickness. Seriously, it's a nice thing.)

Blackhawks pull together for Tallon [AP]
‘What the guys did was really special' [Globe and Mail]
Blackhawks Notes: A Tale Of Team Unity and The Return Of The Wiz [Bleacher Report]
Blackhawks in Canadian Hinterland: Millionaires behaving properly [Canada Free Press]

Last month, the Hawks had six straight road games sandwiched around the Thanksgiving holiday. They went from Phoenix to Dallas to Toronto (nice travel agent), then had three days off before heading out for a California swing. That three-day break was their only chance to get home before the holiday, and the team had arranged for a commerical flight to take the players back to Chicago right after their game against the Leafs on Saturday night. General Manager Dale Tallon was staying behind, to attend his father's funeral in rural Ontario. Take it away, crazy anonymous emailer.

This plane departs on schedule, but without a single member of the hockey team. Back in the locker room a vote is taken after the game was complete, and a unanimous decision is made by this young team to skip this flight and stay one more day. They make arrangements to check back in the hotel and on a frozen Sunday morning charter two buses that have no heat and begin a journey two hours straight north into a sparsely inhabited Canada , but where hockey is its passion. They arrive at their destination to the surprise of the teams general manager who is there attending his fathers wake.

After a few emotional hours, this team boards the buses and heads back for a two-hour trip back to Toronto . On the way they ask the drivers to stop in a tiny Canadian town because they are hungry. To the shock of the patrons and workers at this small hockey town McDonald's, a professional team walks out of two rickety buses and into the restaurant, which just happens to have pictures of two members of this team on its wall. The patrons know every single one of these players by sight being Fanatic fans of hockey in these parts. One can only imagine their amazement of the locals seeing and the entire professional hockey team sit down and have a meal in their tiny little town in the middle of a hockey season. After a while they board the buses and catch their same flight 24 hours later, giving one day to their general manager.

Have I made this up, is this an excerpt from some fictional book? No.

This a true story of the Blackhawks last Saturday night and they decided to attend Dale Tallon's fathers funeral. It's amazing that such a good story can be found nowhere on the internet, and not even mentioned in the Chicago papers. Had one of the Blackhawks got into a fight and punched some drunken loser in a Toronto bar it would be plastered all over papers and the television. This being said, its hard to imagine any professional football, basketball or baseball team doing this, but the members of the Blackhawks claim any "hockey" team would have done this. This is one reason I continue to be a big hockey fan, and another reason I am excited about this Chicago team. I thought I would share as this story appears to have gone unnoticed.

Still skeptical, I sent an email to Sarah Spain of Mouthpiece Sports, who has forgotten more about Chicago hockey than I care to remember.

Got a response from one of my contacts in the org. This is a funny addition - it's true that they took a bus up to his dad's funeral — and afterwards they all went to McDonald's where there were [Patrick] Kane and [Jonathan] Toews trading cards in the happy meals. I don't think the unheated part was true, but yeah - these guys are all nice, which makes the job very easy.

Yeah, the unheated bus did seem like a bit much, didn't it? Was that embellishment really necessary? But it is a sweet story nonetheless, and it is shocking that more media outlets haven't picked up on it. Do you know how much fuzzy, heart-tugging mileage SportsCenter could get out of this? Don't even get me started on Costas.

However, a Friday announcement might be more likely, as Blackhawks Hall of Famers Bobby Hull, Stan Mikita and Tony Esposito will be on hand at Wrigley during the Cubs-Rockies game to sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the seventh inning stretch. Chicago's chances to host the game improved considerably when NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman said earlier this month that Yankee Stadium was no longer the favorite to host because of a "variety of issues."

The NHL's first Winter Classic was played earlier this year on New Year's Day at Buffalo's Ralph Wilson Stadium. The Pittsburgh Penguins beat the Sabres 2-1 in a shootout.

So I'm anxious to see how this guy gets caught in the Plexiglas.

Report: Chicago Blackhawks To Play Detroit Red Wings At Wrigley Field [Chicago Tribune]