Cubs' And Marlins' Benches Clear, And Everyone Immediately Apologizes 

There were no punches thrown in the sixth-inning scrum during last night’s 7-3 Marlins win, and both sides quickly headed back to their own dugouts. In fact, it might have been one of the politest bench-clearings of all time, as the main instigator, Cubs outfielder Junior Lake, apologized unreservedly afterward. Heck,… » 6/04/15 8:50am 6/04/15 8:50am

Bryce Harper Mad He Flied Out, Actually Hits Home Run

Bryce Harper is on such a tear right now—with a .467 on-base percentage and .734 slugging percentage—that the Nationals outfielder’s flyouts turn into home runs, like the one he hit Tuesday night against the Cubs. Or, maybe Harper was angry that he didn’t hit the ball farther. He’s just always at full speed, man. » 5/27/15 10:30am 5/27/15 10:30am

Nick, The Cubs Threw Out Your Grandma’s Personalized Brick

Nick, my man, we have some bad news. Remember when your sweet grandma bought a commemorative brick to be placed outside of Wrigley Field, one that would stand as a testament to her love for you and the Cubbies forever? Well, the Cubs just made a sucker out of your sweet grandma, because they threw that brick in the… » 5/19/15 5:20pm 5/19/15 5:20pm

Pantsless Pervert Clark The Cub Stumps Jeopardy! Competitors

Nightmarish, perverted furry Clark the Cub is still struggling to catch on among piss-soaked Wrigley fans—and trivia nerds, apparently, as none of the three competitors tonight on Jeopardy! were able to respond correctly when prompted to name the team Clark represents during the Final Jeopardy! round. Perhaps Alex… » 5/07/15 11:20pm 5/07/15 11:20pm

Addison Russell Is Here, And The Cubs Are Going For It

Everyone knew that Cubs super prospect Kris Bryant was going to be in the majors as soon as his service time could be gamed in the right direction, but not many people expected to see the Cubs’ other shiny prospect, middle infielder Addison Russell, with the big club before it even got warm in Chicago. But as was… » 4/21/15 9:03am 4/21/15 9:03am

Jon Lester Completes Putout By Throwing Entire Baseball Glove To First


Jon Lester may have trouble throwing over to first, but maybe he’d have better luck if he just chucked his entire glove instead of just the ball. That’s what happened to the Cubs ace today in the second inning when he couldn’t make the transfer from glove-to-hand and thus decided to just throw the whole thing in one… » 4/19/15 3:08pm 4/19/15 3:08pm