Baseball messiah Bryce Harper was the big draw at Sunday's Aflac All-America Game in San Diego, where he performed the miracle of turning five at-bats into five outs.

Chosen Person Bryce Harper, a rising high school junior, has elected to skip his last two years of high school, get his GED and matriculate at the College of Southern Nevada. Cue the Doogie Howser song.

Sports Illustrated claims that Chosen Person Bryce Harper, as a 15-year-old, hit a 570-foot home run in Las Vegas, an anecdote that is equal parts Sidd Finch, Paul Bunyan and Jesus. And I'll be damned: It just might be true.

Here's the cover of the new Sports Illustrated, in which 16-year-old Bryce Harper is declared the "Chosen One." Sound familiar? It should.