So, You've Been Watching Chris Paul, Right?

Youth Prevails! (Except In San Antonio)

The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who spent most of last night scribbling CP3-4-Me all over his Trapper Keeper. When he's not man-loving on Chris Paul, he can be found practicing his Duncan face at Basketbawful. Enjoy!

The doctor is most definitely in. Chris Paul may not have graduated from college, but he has an honorary degree in MVPology. And last night, he gave Dirk Nowitzki a hands-on lesson in the subject. CP3 scored 32 points and had a franchise playoff-record 17 assists, and the New Orleans Hornets crushed the Dallas Mavericks as if they were the insects, 127-103. And lest anyone forget: This is the matchup Nowitzki wanted. Sucker.

Chris Paul Creates New And Better Realities, And Improves Conditions

The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and who has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not screaming in soulless rage at the merciless Pagan gods, he can be found making fart jokes at Basketbawful. Enjoy!

• I guess he's good enough to be an All-Star reserve. With the New Orleans crowd - all 26 of them - chanting "M-V-P," Chris Paul scored 23 points, grabbed nine rebounds and dished 17 assists, each of which created a tiny parallel universe full of Jessica Albas making out with Scarlett Johanssons in an inflatable pool full of JELL-O brand gelatin. I don't impress easily, but even I have to admit that's pretty rad. Paul's teammate Tyson Chandler wasn't half bad either, scoring 10 points and grabbing 16 of the Hornets' 52 rebounds. Denver wasn't quite as good on the boards (33) or in that whole "putting the ball in the basket" thing (42 percent shooting and 19 turnovers), so the the Hornets stung the Nuggets into a lumpy 117-93 submission. Allen Iverson scored 23 and Kenyon Martin had 18, but most of the other Nuggets were barely able to outscore Carmelo Anthony, who, in case you didn't know, is still out with a sprained left ankle.

Everywhere You Look, There Is Chris Paul