How To Make Eggnog, The Festive Holiday Booze-Shake

In the abstract, the notion that some people don't want to drink eggnog makes sense: diabetics, say, or the lactose-intolerant or egg-allergic, or those principled self-denying oddballs who prefer not to replace their entire body mass gradually with dietary fat and cholesterol until they resemble nothing so much as… » 12/20/14 1:51pm Yesterday 1:51pm

Get Your Christmas Crap The Fuck Out Of This Bear's Face, Please

It's almost Christmas, and you're in the holiday spirit, so it's understandable that you want to go around decking the halls and whatnot. But please try to remember that bears don't care about Christmas, because bears are not vapid and materialistic creatures, so don't go putting your plush Santa in a bear's favorite… » 12/19/14 4:47pm Friday 4:47pm

Frank Caliendo Does "The Night Before Christmas" As 10 Different ESPNers

Frank Caliendo was on that radio show with the two guys with the same name this morning, and he busted out many of his ESPN impressions to read "The Night Before Christmas." At this point, his voices are so good, you'd think he locked up all these personalities in his basement as part of an elaborate scam! (We can't… » 12/19/14 11:06am Friday 11:06am

How The NFL's Forgotten Christmas Albums Almost Made One Man Rich

For the entirety of my childhood, my brother, mom, and I spent one day a year—usually a Saturday two or three weeks out from Christmas—being serenaded by the 1970 Oakland Raiders. Specifically, we would spend the day putting up our Christmas tree while Daryle Lamonica, Jim Otto, and others mooed Christmas carols from… » 12/16/14 3:16pm Tuesday 3:16pm

The NFL Shop Ruined A Lot Of Christmases

We received an email from a reader looking to vent. They purchased a jersey from NFLShop.com on Dec. 6 as an intended present, since the site promised—in large, bolded text—that it would arrive before Christmas. It still hasn't shown up. If that was an anomaly, it'd be understandable, even excusable. But our reader… » 1/03/14 3:56pm 1/03/14 3:56pm

NBA's Christmas Uniforms Are Ugly As Sin

Last month, we saw the leaked NBA uniforms for Christmas Day—with sleeves? Sleeves?—and thought, hey, maybe they just seem bad because no one's actually wearing them. Perhaps they'll look better in action, on actual players. Nah. They look like generic unis for a movie set in the future designed to let the audience… » 12/25/13 4:11pm 12/25/13 4:11pm

The Chicago Blackhawks Made The Weirdest Holiday Video

We've seen plenty of cringe-inducing holiday videos in which athletes are forced to sing Christmas carols and wear funny Santa hats, but we've never seen one like this. For some reason, the Chicago Blackhawks decided to make their holiday video movie-themed.Why is this happening? What do any of these movies have to do… » 12/23/13 11:45am 12/23/13 11:45am