Deadspin
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nfl
Chad Johnson Loves His Quarterback, Uncomfortable Sexual Metaphors
OchoCinco on his relationship with his Bengal QB: "We're like Brokeback Mountain. I'm going to be with Carson so much in July that I'm going to be the nanny (for his new twins.)" That's not....awkward. [Bengals; PFT]
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Comment by Innings Eater: I hope Carson is prepared for his kids to get dropped three times a day. 5 Responses | Other threads
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nfl
This Is What You Get For Being A Slacker
If education is a carrot-and-stick operation, then for students in the Cincinnati, the reward for good grades was a chance to meet the Bengals at Paul Brown Stadium. Marvin Lewis accidentally invited the life of the party instead. Oops! More »
6,074
By Ben CohenComment by Jordan_Schafer_Strikeout_Supplier: This is like when WVU accidentally admitted Chris Henry. 5 Responses | Other threads
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chad johnson
NFL Recognizes Chad Johnson's Name Change, With Unsurprising Annoying Bureaucratic Twist
The good news for Johnson: the NFL will let him wear his new name on his jersey this year. The bad news? Because of some careless form-filling, it won't appear quite as he'd like. More »
16,851
By Gourmet SpudComment by Cameron Hekmatnia: If He doesn't Produce, he will be known as "Chad Ocho Stinko" 9 Responses | Other threads
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nfl
And Now The Smooth Christian Rock Stylings Of Ben Utecht
Cincinnati tight end Ben Utecht just dropped his first album, a collection of gospel-tinged inspirational power ballads—because when you think "Bengals football" you should also think about the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. More »
4,724
Comment by Quake 'n' Shake: Has anyone ever listened to Christian Rock? Forced or voluntarily, doesn't matter. Most of it is crap. Not for the... 5 Responses | Other threads
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cincinnati bengals
Embrace The Goodness That Will Be 'Hard Knocks: The Cincinnati Bengals'
After making it through last season's promising Hard Knocks: Dallas Cowboys without any noteworthy melodrama, HBO decided it needs to inch a bit closer to full-on madness. Yes, Hard Knocks: Cincinnati Bengals is for real. More »
9,962
By DAULERIOComment by Andy Hutchins: Now, that picture? Have at it. 17 Responses | Other threads
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college basketball
Andy Kennedy Picked The Wrong City To Punch A Cabbie In
Hey, remember when Mississippi's basketball coach got drunk and (allegedly) hate-crimed a hapless Cincinnati cab driver? That was fun. But now we can relive that wonderful evening thanks to police car camera footage!
More »
16,470
Comment by Don't Hate Azian Zero, Hate the Game: To be fair, some Arab cabbie stole my phone and made $300 bucks worth of calls to Egypt. So, I'm living... 4 Responses | Other threads
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NFL Update
Playoff Spots Are On the Line, Nobody Told Washington
The Redskins are getting crushed, the Falcons are dominating the Bucs, and JP Losman engineered an real touchdown drive and everything. More »
7,069
By KOGODComment by Rick Mahorn's Pimp Hand is Made of Concrete Cyanide: Best part of my halftime was the video of some Iraqi reporter threw two shoes at the President during a... 11 Responses | Other threads
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philadelphia eagles
Donovan McNabb Would Like To Use One of His Lifelines
OK it's true, Donovan McNabb had no idea that there was such a thing as a tie in the NFL (see video below). But let's not pick on him; it seems that there were several members of the Eagles and Bengals who were unaware of the rule, as unbelievable as that might sound. In what will go down in my household as a tragic waste of some very nice avocado dip, the teams stumbled to a 13-all deadlock on Sunday, the first time since 2002 that NFL teams will use two dashes when listing their records. Ha. Just like soccer. More »
7,377
Comment by Doyle McPoyle: Ah, a Who Wants To Be A Millionaire reference...top notch. Got any timely Titanic quotes you wanna drop on us? 5 Responses | Other threads
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cincinnati bengals
Welcome To The House Of Chads
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject : Morning crap More »
3,462
Comment by MeSoHornsby: Has anyone checked out the comments on Consumerist about it getting sold? It's actually quite funny to see how important... 7 Responses | Other threads
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cincinnati bengals
Bengals Jerk Line Gets Its Chain Yanked
As you may have heard, the NFL is out to hunt down and destroy boorish fan behavior at its solemn and dignified Sunday skull crushing meetings. Like several other teams, the Cincinnati Bengals have what is known as a "Jerk Line," a phone number that fans can call while in the stadium to report the guy who just poured a beer over their child's head. Of course, Bengals fans know who the real jerk is and have recently rallied around the idea of calling the line as often as possible to complain about the loutish behavior of owner Mike Brown. More »
7,428
Comment by André Roussimoff: I figured the Jerk Line would have connected to the infamous Jerk Store. 3 Responses | Other threads
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cincinnati bengals
Ocho Cinco: Excuse Me, While I Kiss This Star
You've got to give props to Chad Formerly-Johnson, whose talents as a receiver are almost equal to his marketing acumen. Managing once again to somehow keep an 0-4 team in the spotlight, he vowed on Wednesday to score a touchdown and kiss the Dallas star when the Bengals play in Irving on Sunday. But he wasn't through. More »
7,294
Comment by Matt_T: Yo Chad,The lyrc is, 'excuse me, while I kiss the SKY' 3 Responses | Other threads
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cincinnati bengals
Ocho Cinco Knows How To Cure The Bengals: It's Time To Par-tay
The Artist Formerly Known As Chad Johnson does not want to go to that strip club. The last thing he wants is to go on a drunken tequila binge and wake up in his hotel room on Sunday draped in hookers and clutching a reefer the size of a corncob. But damn it, he will do it for the team. No sacrifice is too big for the well being of the Bengals. More » -
Ocho Cinco
Ocho Cinco's Name Change Papers Reveal His Creative Kids' Names
Tired of hearing about Chad Ocho Cinco yet? Me neither. The Smoking Gun has his name change documents and while they are mostly unexciting, we've learned a few things about the man. Apparently he claims to have no ulterior reasons for changing his name. I guess "Sticking it to Roger Goodell" wasn't on the multiple choice. Oh, and that two of his kids are named Chad and Chade. Not quite George Foreman ridiculousness, but still. Are we to expect Chada, Chado, Chadi, and Chadu in the coming years? God, I hope so. More » -
nfl season previews
NFL Season Preview: Cincinnati Bengals
We're less than 24 hours away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews will be running until, oh, the first round of the wild card playoffs based on how quickly they've been coming in. So, for the next few days, expect a lot of these. More »
6,113
By DAULERIOComment by Texy: Poor Cincy - can't even get their name spelled right in their preview title. Maybe you only get proper spelling when... 1 Responses | Other threads
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nfl
Aye Carumba! Chad Johnson Changes Last Name To Ocho Cinco
So Bengals wideout Chad Johnson has legally changed his name to "Chad Javon Ocho Cinco." Which I guess is only slightly better than "Chad Javon GoldenPalace.com." Chad expects to play in the Bengals' season opener, despite suffering a dislocated shoulder in the preseason and creating more needlework for his equipment manager. More »
4,654
By Josh ZerkleComment by Chamomiles Davis: TO ALL WHO READ THIS: LET IT BE KNOWN that I am officially changing my name to Earl Grey. 3 Responses | Other threads
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gambling
Now You Can Bet on Which NFL Team Will Have the Next Arrest
Somewhere Roger Goodell is crying. Or making a boatload of cash thanks to inside information. Right now the Cincinnati Bengals lead the clubhouse at 5/1. Many teams are set at 25/1. Not content with betting on teams? In addition to team arrests, you can take the over/under on number of individual arrests—currently set at 7.5; Regular season vs. offseason arrests in 2008 and 2009, and what the next player will be arrested for. Drug possession leads at 2/1. More » -
NFL
Kenny Irons ("AKA The Franchise") Is "Hongry" For Some Hooters
So he does what any man who is hongry for some Hooters does, he takes a camera in and narrates a trip to the restaurant. I'm sure this video will go a long way towards making Bengals fans feel better about the second round pick their team spent on the Auburn running back. If you've ever wondered what Michael Scott's trip to Hooters would look like if he played in the NFL and was obsessed with weed, check it out after the jump: More »
16,808
By Clay TravisComment by suntastic: "Hongry?" Did I accidentally stumble onto cuteoverload.com? Next you'll be telling me that something is redonkulous. more » | Other threads
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16,662
By Clay TravisComment by cromartie: Damn. Forgot to add.. /wasn't worth fighting the war over tag to the last post. more » | Other threads
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chad johnson
Chad Johnson Is An Interviewer's Dream
At this point approaching Chad Johnson with a microphone is slightly less dangerous than taunting tigers at the San Francisco Zoo.
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Comment by WydrasArmy: Love him or hate him, that is one funny interview. That poor dude... more » | Other threads
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my next cruzin cooler will be a hybrid
The Law Finally Catches Up With The Cruzin Cooler
You may think that this is a free nation; where a man can enjoy a full day of holiday drinking and then drive home peacefully on his motorized cooler without being harrassed by the authorities. But you'd be wrong. A Whitehall, N.Y. man found that out on Memorial Day when he was pulled over while driving his Cruzin Cooler and issued a DWI. More »
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Comment by spirit_of_chick_hearn: "Sir i clocked you going 7 in a 45 m.p.h. zone. And have you been drinking?. more » | Other threads
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god bless the bengals of the beast
Corey Lynch Offers Divine Intervention To The Bengals
Marvin Lewis has the seemingly insurmountable task of changing the Bengals' from one of the most clink-happy and character-deprived football teams in league history to something ... better. Chris Henry is gone, but the scars still remain. The attitude and atmosphere has to change in 2008, so the Bengals took an extreme step on Sunday when they drafted Appalachian State's Corey Lynch in the sixth round. More » -
do they need defense?
1st Round, Ninth Overall: Bengals Select Keith Rivers
Keep standing pat, ye mighty Bengals! The Jags and Pats leapt over you to take defenders you so badly needed, guys you targeted so heavily that you sent your line coach to molest them at their pro days. Your star wide receiver plans to toilet paper team headquarters. Your other receiver, whose name I don't dare try to type in real time, is also miffed. Stay the course. Don't do anything rash. Sucking indefinitely isn't as bad as it sounds. More »
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By mike tanierComment by I Party With Smoot: STOP TELLING ME THE PICKS BEFORE THEY'RE CHOSEN! FUCK! I might as well be watching ESPN... more » | Other threads
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chad johnson
Chad Johnson's Attitude Reaches New Level Of Stinko-ness
It was only a couple years ago when Bengals' wide receiver Chad Johnson was cause celebre to NFL fans; his defiance against the league for his wacky endzone celebrations seemed harmless and amusing, even if it did cost his team the occasional 15-yard penalty. He was also quotable, seemingly self-aware, and had all the skills to become the elite, Hall of Fame receiver he prematurely considered himself. But as his displeasure with the Bengals became more public (he seemingly could not find one redeeming quality about any aspect of the organization that gave him a monster contract extension two years ago), he slowly transformed from a colorful personality into a less talented, more annoying version of Terrell Owens. More »
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By DAULERIOComment by Bison Dele's Fantastic Voyage: not really. cincinnati is a bad place to be for anyone as a pro football player.i don't blame him for... more » | Other threads
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chris henry
Piling On Chris Henry, Just Once More
Like Tuffy said last night on our radio show, Chris Henry is like Pacman Jones without the Eddie Haskell-type contrition, and it's just way more depressing. And now that he's been cut by the Cincinnati Bengals, it's no longer really a sports story, but a troubled human interest story. Which makes this particular story relevant on a sports blog in the ex post facto sense, because the night before Henry punched a teenager, he and some other Bengals were thrown out of a Cincinnati nightclub. More »
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By sussmanComment by The Sports Hernia: Jerry Glanville can't wait to make his "Not For Long" joke about Chris Henry's tattoo. more » | Other threads
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that's it
Brian Kenny's Media Approval Rating Went Up A Little Bit
ESPN yakkity-yak Brian Kenny displayed the appropriate amount of annoyance and amusement during his teeth-pulling interview with aggrieved Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson. Kenny, not getting too much out of Chad besides his usual grousing (although, Johnson did say he wouldn't sit out next season) attempted to gracefully sign off from the interview. More »
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By DAULERIOComment by thebristolkid: @metroville: "Just a black man doin' his thing. Barack Obama motherfucker. Ba-rack O-bama! I'm the president...of hittin' that ass!" more » | Other threads
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chris henry
Chris Henry. Arrested. Again. Really, Chris? Really? (UPDATE: And Now He's Gone)
Chris Henry is going to be arrested again. This is a statement you probably could have made at any point in the last, oh, three years. But it's one you can make specifically for today. Because Chris Henry is being arrested today.
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ocho cinco
Chad Johnson Might Want To Play For The Redskins
The Bengals are adamant: They're not trading Chad Johnson. But it appears Chad Johnson has a differing view. More »
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By LeitchComment by SadJohnson: @OchentaYcinco: That's why I went with a moniker that not only reflected my Bengals fandom and disappointment in CJ's antics,... more » | Other threads
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good ole chris henry
Well, Look Who's In Trouble Again
Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry was just reinstated to the NFL after an eight-game suspension. That's good. Police are already investigating him for another incident. That's bad.
More »
10,550
By LeitchComment by EggandCheeseonaRoll: Since 2005, Henry has been charged with driving under the influence, possession of marijuana, driving without a license and without... more » | Other threads
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just give me the damn cue
Chad Johnson Wants You To Keep The Tape Rolling
No matter what anyone says, it's still hard to adjust to the notion of Keyshawn Johnson wearing a suit and being introduced by Chris Berman. It's like the spectacle of Sitting Bull as part of Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show. Keyshawn was not meant to be tamed. More »
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By rickchandComment by VICK killed BARBARO: is it a surefire sign that I'm going insane when I think both Johnson's made salient points? more » | Other threads
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monday night football
Pity Poor John Bowie
As the Patriots cruised to yet another easy victory last night, with three more Tom Brady touchdowns and two more Randy Moss touchdowns, we take a look at the sad sack that is John Bowie. More » -
monday night football
Will The Patriots Score 38 Again?
This could be the last stand for the Bengals, early on anyway, and they're playing the absolute worst team you could play right now if you needed to make a last stand. Unfortunately, everyone's just going to talk about that CameraGate situation all night. Again. More » -
poop
Bring Your Umbrellas To Paul Brown Stadium On Monday
There might be no better metaphor for the beginning of the Cincinnati Bengals' season than the fact that fans have been noticing bird poop in their beers. More »
8,385
By LeitchComment by StuScott Booyahs: i wonder where PETA stands on all of this? more » | Other threads
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free cars!
Chris Henry Probably Isn't Felonious; Just Dumb
We know what suspended Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry was doing on Sunday; he was watching football with our own MJD. And now we know what he doing the rest of the week; accidentally stealing rental cars. More »
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By LeitchComment by SantaBarbaraWahoo: @Chief Wahoo: Thing is, he even kinda looks feline if you look at his face... more » | Other threads
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nfl roundup
Please, No More MNF Doubleheaders
We're not sure why, exactly, we feel compelled to write about a game that we spent four hours writing about last night and just ended about eight hours ago ... and, oh yeah, was completely miserable to watch. But, alas, here we are. More » -
monday night football
Monday Night Football Returns ... And An Invitation
We noted that during the preseason, we enjoyed the work of the revamped "Monday Night Football" team; replacing Joe Theismann with Ron Jaworski really did make that much of a difference. But that was preseason. More »
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By LeitchComment by My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH: Till tomorrow night. more » | Other threads
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nfl divisional previews
It's The AFC North Pants Party
Three fascinating teams in the AFC North ... and then the one that has Brady Quinn. What's not to like? More »
5,590
By LeitchComment by 12 Inches of JT Snow: i don't just like leather. i loooove leather. more » | Other threads
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monday night football
ESPN's "Fans" Seem To All Have espn.com Email Addresses
If you watched "Monday Night Football" earlier this week, you might have noticed a new segment called ESPN's Rowdy Friends, in which fans are encouraged to shoot videos of them acting like idiots — which is what networks and leagues think we are, as they remind us daily — so the "best" ones can be weaved into the "MNF" broadcast. The segment debuted last week, even though we hadn't seen any advertisements for it on the site. So how'd they pull it off? Well, the way any major corporation would: By making the lackeys do it! More »
16,294
By LeitchComment by Cinco Ocho: She won't be getting the free dinner coupon in the cafeteria this year now. more » | Other threads
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nfl season preview
NFL Season Preview: Cincinnati Bengals
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, running one every weekday, we have to start this week. So there you have it. More » -
you're in bengals territory
We Like The Way He Talks And He Likes The Way We Talk, Mmm Hmm
With the news yesterday that running back Quincy Wilson has become the 10th Cincinnati Bengal to be arrested in the past 14 months, we now need the measured, no-nonsense sports commentary of Kige Ramsey more than ever. If you're unfamiliar, just think of him as the Jason Whitlock of Youtube ... if, you know, Jason Whitlock fixed lawnmowers and carried around every book he owned wrapped in a belt. More » -
chris henry tears those tags off mattresses
Chris Henry Is Just Making Up Offenses Now
OK. Are you sitting down? We feel like you should be sitting down. It's probably for the best if you're sitting down. Take a deep breath. Have a brandy. You ready? Cool. Here goes. More »
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By LeitchComment by Datplayacj: The only brain cells functioning for this dude are the one's that tell him to run a 'go' route. more » | Other threads
cincinnati bengals
New York, 2:26 AM
Sat Jul 11
25 posts in the last 24 hours
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