But the "loss of consortium" claim by Kimber Kennedy is something she's going to have to prove, say the lawyers for Mohamed Jiddou, the cabbie who is being sued by the Kennedys resulting from their Dec. 18 altercation. Well, that should be interesting.

Kennedy amended his civil suit against them when his wife said she deserved damages from the cabbie and valet because the incident had caused the couple a "loss of consortium" and damaged their marriage. But if Kennedy and his wife contend his December assault arrest ruined their personal life, they're going to have to prove it with medical documents, say attorneys for the cab driver.

The recap: Video has recently surfaced of Kennedy's Dec. 18 arrest, in which he attempts to talk his way out of it by claiming that the arrest is going to be "an international incident." That prompted one of the great all-time lines by the cop:

"You think we've never arrested somebody that's made national media? … We deal with the Bengals all the time."

Kennedy is now the head coach at the University of Mississippi. The case is scheduled for April, and be assured we'll be there for gavel-to-gavel coverage.

Lawyers To Coach: Prove Loss [Cincinnati Inquirer]

1." Did they block the Lions game out again?" (I say I have no idea that I'm from Nashville and just landed in Michigan.) "Oh well, it doesn't matter. Fuck the Lions. I'd rather watch whoever else is playing anyway."

2." The Lions are up 17-0? Damn. Wonder how long it will take them to lose that lead?"

3. "Do you care if we change the channel for just a sec. to see what they're saying about the auto bailout?"

4. "You're from Tennessee? I wish Rodriguez would move to Tennessee and die."

5. "Did you know Ford had to buy the Thanksgiving game tickets this year because no one was buying them? They're selling them to employees for $30 each. I heard no one is buying them even though that's less than half what they actually cost. Boy, when I was a kid that Thanksgiving game was the best."

So be thankful you aren't a sports fan from Michigan. And if you are a sports fan from Michigan? Yeah, sorry, you're screwed. On to the college football round-up.

Oklahoma toasted Texas Tech. Just one day after I announced I had a crush on Mike Leach. This game was kind of like going for a piss, opening the bathroom door, and seeing your crush ski-poling two random guys she met at a fraternity party. Even still, in the great "Will it be, Leach, Brian Kelly, or Lane Kiffin as the next UT coach-debate?", I'm with Leach.

Also, Brent Musberger attempting to pronounce Beyonce's name during the promos for the American Music Awards should put an end to the old-announcers attempt to read promos business. Just put it on the screen. Also, was I the only person who thought that while he discussed the Beyonce mispronunciation Herbstreit was thinking, "I could bang Beyonce if I wanted to." It was the subtext of the entire conversation.

Finally, granted Texas Tech got destroyed, but all they need is an Oklahoma loss on the road at Oklahoma State and they win the tiebreak over Texas head to the Big 12 Title Game. Win that and wouldn't it be hard to put Texas in above them in the BCS Title Game?

Washington State wins in overtime over Washington. The only thing better than a game between two teams who have combined for one win? An overtime game that ends with one team missing a short field goal and the other team making one.

Penn State contributed to the continued collapse of Michigan's self-esteem by beating the only decent team in the state. We've spent enough time on this. Congrats to Penn State on their first Rose Bowl in 14 years. Condolences on Joe Pa announcing he's returning for a 44th season. Meanwhile, Michigan was destroyed by Ohio State to put a merciful end to their season. The Terrelle Pryor Rich Rod picture will never die.

Charlie Weis is a genius! Did anyone else see the snowballs that someone threw right after the missed field goal at the end of Notre Dame's loss to Syracuse? Was this supposed to be a celebratory snowball? Because somehow that snowball bursting open when it landed on the field was the perfect metaphor for the Weis era at Notre Dame. Well, okay, not as good of a metaphor as Weis getting wrecked on the sideline against Michigan, but close.

Also, how many more years does NBC Sports have to pretend they still have a sports department by showing Notre Dame games? Remember back when NBC Sports had the NBA and the NFL? Doesn't that seem like it never happened now? I know NBC has Sunday Night Football, but there's something about their sports coverage that seems wistful for 1988. Even down to the dark, Seinfeld-esque color schemes in their telecasts. Not as wistful as Notre Dame fans are for 1988 or in believing that Urban Meyer will leave Florida to come be their coach, but close.

Tennessee beat Vanderbilt despite passing for only 22 yards. We didn't complete a pass in the entire first half. Four different people played quarterback for Tennessee. Only one of them completed a pass (unless you count Jonathan Crompton's interception on his only pass attempt). There's no existing film from UT's games back in the 1930's. Now, at least I have an idea what the offense would have looked like in person.

Oregon State is a win over Oregon away from their first Rose Bowl since 1965. Lucky for the Rose Bowl that game would be a rematch. This is perfect. Anyone who favors a college football playoff should root for the Rose Bowl to get screwed every year. The bastards think their single game is more important than the rest of college football. Enjoy.

Maryland controlled their own destiny in the and got waxed by Florida State; Miami had the Atlantic Division wrapped up and got destroyed as well. Now I think Boston College controls their own fate. So if they beat Maryland, they're in. But if they lose Florida State is in. So at least there's some finality there. Same with Virginia Tech, win and they're in. Swell, a rematch between two teams that were better last year. To see who gets waxed by another team in the BCS.

Cincinnati and Brian Kelly are headed to the BCS provided they can get the win over Syracuse. Did anyone else think Erin Andrews was slamming the Cincinnati fans every time she did a sideline report. At least twice she pointed out that the fans weren't excited enough. I think this was her revenge for being sent to a night game in Cincinnati in November.

Utah beat BYU and is now 12-0. They're up to number 6 in the BCS standings. What's the route to the BCS Title Game for Utah? I'll tell you. Alabama loses to Auburn, Florida loses to Florida State then beats Alabama in the SEC Title Game. Oklahoma loses to Oklahoma State, Texas Tech loses to Baylor, and Texas loses to Missouri in the Big 12 Title Game. Then, I think, Utah would play USC for the BCS Championship. See, Ute fans, the BCS is an infallible and fair system. You've got a shot too!

1. Mike Leach is Blackbeard. This is how the negotiations should go to make him Tennessee's next coach. a. Rent a dumptruck b. fill dumpruck with cash c. drive dumptruck to Lubbock d. dump money in Leach's front yard. e. repeat until contract is signed. Right now Mike Hamilton should be on eBay trying to buy Blackbeard's sword and then offer to dip it in the blood of a virgin (hint she won't be a Tri-Delt in Knoxville) for signing.

There should be a stat for how often Leach's receivers score touchdowns without being touched. It's uncanny. In fact, I'm making it up right now. Le Leach. That's French for "the Leach." People in Lubbock are very worldly, they'll love this. Here's Le Leach giving the weather.

It's always sunny in Knoxville, Mike, always.

2. Iowa's Daniel Murray hadn't made a field goal since the first game of the season. Then he drilled a 31 yarder to beat Penn State by one. Credit to Iowa's coaching staff for accepting the holding penalty on the next-to-last play for Penn State. They'd stopped Penn State on third down but elected to give them another shot after moving them back ten yards. I was cursing the stupidity of this decision when the Penn State wide receiver came wide open in the middle of the field, but Darryl Clark airmailed it for a pick. Meanwhile, please tell me Daniel Murray didn't play it cool after he made this field goal. I'm hoping he showered, went straight to the sorority house and started clambanging. If he didn't, can we rescind the win?

Right now, you should definitely be thinking to yourself, this guy just clarified the BCS? Yeah, he did.

3. Florida destroyed Vanderbilt. The only time Florida didn't score on their first 7 drives was when the refs inexplicably missed a Percy Harvin touchdown and ruled that he fumbled. You know in horror movies where the villian of the film suddenly realizes he's even more powerful than he ever thought he was? This is Urban Meyer right now. Somewhere there's a hero that can slay him, but I'll be damned if I can find one.

Be honest, if you had to pick a team to win the national championship today, you'd pick Florida, wouldn't you? In later years the fact that Hailey and Hanna Nutt's dad went to Gainesville and won with this Ole Miss team is going to seem even more remarkable than it does now. As for the Alabama-Florida SEC Championship Game, I've got the feeling the folks in Miami are upset their BCS Title game is going to be upstaged a month early.

4, North Carolina is going to win the ACC's Coastal Division...maybe. The Tar Hells smacked around Georgia Tech 28-7. At least that seems somewhat likely. We'll have a better idea after Virginia Tech and Miami play on Thursday night. Win and Virginia Tech will have the tiebreak over North Carolina should both win out. But given the clusterfuck that is the ACC this year, who knows?

5. How has LSU's Jarrett Lee gotten a pass on being the worst quarterback in college football? Lee has 14 interceptions. 14! What's worse than this? 6 of those picks have been returned for touchdowns. God, if only Ryan Perrilloux were still eligible. Only, Perrilloux has 12 interceptions while playing for the Jacksonville State Gamecocks.

On the exact opposite score, how good is Alabama's Julio Jones going to be by the time he's a junior. The NFL mandate that guys stay for at least three years in college makes players like Jones into Gods. Seriously, who is going to cover this guy next year or the year after? If Julio could leave after this season he'd already be a first-round pick. At least there's no history of Alabama receivers getting injured because they couldn't leave early.

And with this hat selection, the number of children born in Alabama named Julio will increase 14,000,000%.

6. Cincinnati goes into Morgantown/Deadwood and wins 26-23 to take the inside track to the Big East's BCS bid. Beat Pitt at home on November 21 and get past Louisville and Syracuse and Cincinnati will be in the BCS. I know, ridiculous, right? Let's be honest, how many years is Bill Stewart going to be at West Virginia? Two years at most?

7. Tennessee lost to Wyoming. I know, I know, I'm really questioning a lot of things about my life right now. One of them is this, say UT's players called every play on offense from inside the huddle by the quarterback sketching the routes on his hand. Could we score more than a touchdown in a game? I'm thinking yes. That offensive coordinator money has been really well spent this year and the Clawfense is appropriately named if only because I'd rather claw my eyes out than watch it any longer.

To help clear the palate, here are two more pictures of Hailey and Hanna rocking the football uniform.

Someone has to win the Big East. We know this. There's a BCS spot at stake. But with miles to go before we sleep only Syracuse at 0-3 has completely eliminated themselves from contention. Fans of the other 7 teams in the conference (all 14 of you) can still lay awake at night and dream about the riches and glory that could be yours if only your team could string together a few wins and snag the coveted prize. Tonight the Big East's only ranked team in the Coaches' Poll, South Florida, tries to become the only team in the Big East not named Syracuse to have three conference losses, and Cincinnati tries to avoid adding on their second consecutive conference loss. Yep, like 7th grade girls competing to avoid being the slut of the pre-algebra classroom, it's a battle not to suck.

Cincinnati is 5-2. Prior to getting trounced 40-16 by UConn last week their only loss was at Oklahoma. Now they have to beat South Florida to avoid dropping to 1-2 in conference. Which would be bad. What's worse than this? The next two games are on the road at West Virginia and at Louisiville. So, really, Cincinnati is probably already eliminated from Big East contention. But that's okay. Because their final game of the season, on December 6, is at Hawaii. Which is awesome for the team but will kill their bowl crowd. If you have a choice between following Cincinnati to Hawaii in early December or to Birmingham's PapaJohn's Bowl in late December which are you choosing?

Cincinnati's starting quarterback, Tony Pike, is also tougher than you. Not that there was really any doubt after you pulled yourself from an intramural flag football game with turf toe, but still, it's important to establish these things. Pike started last week's game against UConn and played with a broken left (non-throwing) arm. He was pulled from the game after he lost feeling in the broken arm. Jesus.

On the other side of the field South Florida is trying to avoid another Big East collapse. (Perhaps Jim Leavitt can recruit Jenn Sterger to provide the necessary support to the team since she attended USF for two years before transferring to FSU.) After being ranked as high as #10 in the country, the Bulls have lost 2 of 3 conference games. Losing at home on Thursday night to Pitt and on the road to Louisville. It's a battle for the Big East ages, and who are you kidding, you'll be watching. Unless College Invasion 12 just arrived in your mailbox too. Then? Screw college football.