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Clemson Tigers


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Clemson Tigers

1. "Clempson," as some locals refer to it, resides in the city of Clemson in the northwestern region of South Carolina known as "The Upstate." It was opened in 1893 as a military academy exclusively for Caucasian males, serving as one of the rare instances of racial discrimination in the South. The school later abandoned its military curriculum and started its rich tradition of admitting hot, bangable women that would make your penis explode in 1955. Notable Clemson alumni include tabloid television anchor Nancy O'Dell and noted statesman/multiculturalist Strom Thurmond, for which the university's Strom Thurmond Institute is named ... I think. More »

clemson tigers

Tommy Bowden Wants Your Publicity, And Then He Wants You Gone

You might remember the touching story of Ray Ray McElrathbey, the Clemson reserve tailback who was receiving assistance from the NCAA after taking custody of his 11-year-old brother (their father is a gambling addict, the mother, into crack cocaine). Great story, makes Clemson sound like a happy place, Tommy Bowden a great guy, so on. So it was a surprise when McElrathbey said he was leaving the school. And now we know why: Bowden kicked him off. More »

duke blue devils

ACC Admits Clock Error; Does Absolutely Nothing Else

Just to follow up quickly on the Duke/Clemson clock controversy on Thursday night, ACC officials have reviewed the tape (and here it is again, if they need any help) and after much careful consideration, have decided, "fuck it." More »

college basketball

Finally, Duke Catches A Break!

One of the joys of this here Internets is the rapidity with which campaigns can be organized, complaints filed and irrefutable evidence presented to a starving public. Therefore, if you watched any of that thrilling but frustrating Clemson-Duke game last night, you know that Duke won on a shot with .1 seconds remaining. This video convincingly shows how they shouldn't have had nearly that much time left. More »

college football

'Sir, Perhaps We Can Resolve Our Differences With A Friendly Game Of Scrabble'

We've been following the Clemson-South Carolina football bet killing very closely, as only now are telling details being leaked to the press. Instead of going over the original story again, we'll just mention that a 42-year-old guy named Jimmy shot a 43-year-old man named Ricky in the chest because of a $20 bet on the game. Frankly, we don't know how something like this could have happened, especially in light of these excerpts from the Charlotte Observer story: More »

college football

Yet Another Death You Can Blame On Steve Spurrier

In honor of the great Simpsons statement against seven-day waiting periods to buy weapons — "But I'm mad NOW!" — we present a distinct moment in college football history: The time a 42-year-old guy named Jimmy shot a 43-year-old man named Ricky in the chest because of a $20 bet on the Clemson-South Carolina game. Strange thing about it: Jimmy won the bet! More »

college football

That, Friends, Is A Lot Of Funk

In a world of uncertainty, the dancing fat man is a distinct pleasure worth cherishing. Do not underestimate the dancing fat Clemson fan: He's, in fact, quite nimble. You might think it cheap and/or easy, but we value the fundamental certainty of gyrating flab, and we think you probably should too. More »