Shin-Soo Choo had a walk off hit in the 10th inning last night—a hit that outfielder Coco Crisp could not field because the ball bounced off a bird who had parked himself in shallow left-center with the rest of his bird buddies. The birds have been wandering the ProgressiveJacobs Field grass a lot lately, probably because of the steady supply of midges that also love to call the stadium home ... and occasionally help the Indians win games.

It's all a product of Wedge's Tarzan-like "call of the wild" strategy, where he summons the animal spirits do his bidding and vanquish the enemies of Chief Wahoo. But will it come back to haunt him? First, the midges start deciding games, but then you need seagulls to control the midges ... and soon the seagulls are calling the shots. So what's the seagull's natural predator? Alligators? Orcas? If the Indians sign a grizzly bear to play left field, don't say I didn't warn you.

For the birds: Gull struck by winning hit [MLB]

For those of you too young to remember the 1970s (lucky you), on a night much like tonight in 1974, the Indians hosted the Rangers with a special beer promotion that drew 25,000 fans, or roughly three times the average attendance, to the ball yard. Eight ounces of tasty, tasty Stroh's for just one thin dime. Can you paint the picture in your head?

The teams were not the best of friends (they had brawled in Texas a week earlier) and things got a little heated late in the game—a game that featured multiple streakers, mooners, and hot dog throwers. The event even has its own Wikipedia page, which helpfully explains.

The ugliness escalated when Cleveland's Leron Lee hit a line drive into the stomach of Rangers pitcher Ferguson Jenkins, after which Jenkins dropped to the ground. The fans in the upper deck of Municipal Stadium cheered, then chanted "Hit 'em again! Hit 'em again! Harder! Harder!"

As the game progressed, more fans ran onto the field and caused problems. Ranger Mike Hargrove (who would manage the Indians and lead them to the World Series 21 years later) was pelted with hot dogs and spit, and at one point was nearly struck with an empty gallon jug of Thunderbird.

Citation needed! Things came to a frosty head in the ninth when a fan tried to steal Texas outfielder Jeff Burroughs' hat. Burroughs tripped and fell down, his teammates thought he was under attack and charged out of the dugout with bats. (Yes, Billy Martin was involved.) A full-fledged riot ensued, players were hit with bottles, chairs, fists, and eventually Cleveland had to forfeit. The local station broadcasting the game showed a tremendous lack of foresight into the coming YouTube age and switched off the live broadcast as soon as it turned ugly. Still, good times all around.

And that's why 35 years later, a local Cleveland watering hole is memorializing the occasion with ... 10-cent drafts of Stroh's. And some wholesome rock music. Please tell me Mike Hargrove will be there.

Cleveland Bar Celebrates 35th Anniversary of Ten Cent Beer Night with Ten Cent Beer [Cleveland Scene]
ModernTube: 'The Ballad Of 10-Cent Beer Night' [Big League Stew]
This Day in Baseball History: June 4th, 1974 [Way Back and Gone]
Page 2: Remembering 10-Cent Beer Night [ESPN, 2008]

But right now the Yankees are losing 16 - 2 to Cleveland and Fox is sticking with this game, instead of going to the Cardinals vs Cubs game.

ALERT THE ACLU, BRO! Mercifully, I don't have to find a moving way to say "get some perspective hater" because the Times ran this tearjerker today.

So it's like, I guess, one of Vincent Chase's hot babes settling down with Ari Gold. Thanks to the San Francisco Examiner, via Bob's Blitz, for the rather depressing news. And also for this presumably old Milano quote:

I've gotten such s—- about my dating choices. Like, every single article ... is about how I'm 'the chick that dates athletes... I'd love to just find a good plumber or doctor."

Coincidentally, Milano used to date pitcher Carl Pavano, who just signed with the Indians today for $1.5 million over one year. And they all lived happily ever after.

Alyssa Milano Asks For, Gets Balls For Christmas [Bob's Blitz]
Charmed! Alyssa Milano Engaed To Agent David Bugliari, Wedding Date Not Set [San Francisco Examiner]
Indians Sign Carl Pavano [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

Said Sheffield on Saturday of Cabrera, who supposedly held Sheffield while teammate Carmona pounded his head:

"He'll get taken care of, trust me," Sheffield said. "If you take a cheap shot at me, I'll never forget it. I won't forget it until the day I die."

Then this exchange through the press:

In Saturday's editions of the Cleveland Plain Dealer, Cleveland catcher Victor Martinez was quoted as saying, "He didn't say nothing going down to first base. If he wants to do something, then charge right there. He just walked to first base with that attitude. Who is he? Shut your mouth and keep playing the game."

When told of Martinez's remarks on Saturday, Sheffield replied, "Who am I? Tell him to check the stats. How many years he have? He's going to learn respect. Somebody will teach him respect. Trust me. ... He ain't done nothing in this game. Anybody can have a couple years. Do it for 20 years, and then come talk to me."

Who charges the mound from first base following a pickoff attempt? Only Gary Sheffield. Moral of story: Do not start brawls during seasons when you're not using the cream.

Sheffield Still Steaming [SFGate]
War Of Words Continue In Aftermath Of Sheffield Brawl [Detroit Free Press]
Sheffield Gunning for… Asdrubal Cabrera? [Waiting For Next Year]

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer:

On July 7, they traded CC Sabathia to Milwaukee. Then they lost three straight to the Tigers at Comerica to put the finishing touches on a 10-game losing streak that effectively ended their season. The Indians were 37-53, 16 games below .500, after that 10th loss on July 9. Today they are 65-67, the closest they've been to .500 since May 21 when they were 22-24. As for trading Sabathia, last year's Cy Young winner, the Indians are 28-16 since the deal.

So it could be argued that if they had only traded Sabathia sooner, the Indians would still be in contention. Fausto Carmona went six innings for the win and Kelly Shoppach and Shin-Soo Choo each had two-run homers as Cleveland beat Detroit 9-7 at Comercia. The franchise record for consecutive wins is 13, accomplished twice, the last time in 1951.

So the current season is shot for the Indians. But then again ... four days ago, the Tribe Report was writing this:

But while we’re busy worrying about whether Ryan Garko has shown enough to either get back into the picture for 1B next year or bring something valuable in trade, or whether Anthony Reyes is good enough to be a No. 3 or No. 4 starter next year, we’re missing some of the best team baseball the Tribe has played since last October. So I just wanted to take a moment to look at the entire forest. The first half of this season was so miserable to watch, we owe it to ourselves to enjoy what we’ve been seeing lately, even if it comes under the category of cheap thrills.

That was four wins ago. Might this incredible comeback continue? And wasn't that the plot of Major League?

A Terrific 10: Shoppach, Choo Fuel Another Big Night As Streaking Tribe Wins 10th Straight, 9-7 [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

From Cleveland.com:

The Cy Young Award-winning lefty pitcher was traded to Milwaukee earlier this month — before he likely would have bolted town as a free agent once the season was over. "You've touched our lives with your kindness, love and generosity. We are forever grateful!" reads the copy in the $12,870 black-and-white ad. "It was something that was in the works almost from the moment he was traded," said Kathy Jacobson, the pitcher's spokeswoman in San Francisco.

But here's where we kind of go through the looking glass with this. How often does an ad run in the print edition of a newspaper, and on that same day, a story about that ad runs on that paper's web site? And in that online story is a reproduction of the ad, which you click on to enlarge so that you can clearly see the whole thing. Meaning that the ad that cost 12 grand in the paper is available for free online.

How about a TV news story about the online story about the print ad? And then there's this post. God I need an Advil.

At any rate, no matter how one looks at it, it was a very warm gesture which I'm sure pulled at the heartstrings of Indians fans everywhere. From the post's message board:

Well he didn't love the community enough to take the gazillion dollars he was offered before the season to stay in Cleveland. So take your full page ad, and use it to wipe your HUGE posterior CC. See ya later Captain Cash. — Posted by kuyuga on 07/30/08 at 10:39AM

CC Sabathia Buys Plain Dealer Ad To Thank Indians Fans For Their Support [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

Or so says everyone from Cleveland, to Milwaukee, to Buster Olneyville. The Cleveland Indians, who at the beginning of the season thought they'd be able to compete, have officially moved white-flagged it by shuttling their number one starter with the crooked cap to the Milwaukee Brewers for power-bat prospect Matt LaPorta, and pitchers Zach Jackson and Rob Bryson.
The trade is expected to be announced sometime today and Sabathia is scheduled to take the mound Tuesday night at Miller Park against the Colorado Rockies.

For the Brewers, this is the all-in move designed to take them to the playoffs for the first time since 1982, when Gorman Thomas' mustache roamed the beer-soaked grass of County Stadium. A 1-2 punch of Sheets and Sabathia should make the NL Central a lot more interesting the rest of the year. The Indians, on the other hand, are hopeful a young bespectacled fireballer from Cleveland's prison system can establish himself as the starter of the future.

Tribe on the verge of trading Sabathia [Cleveland Plain Dealer]
Brewers Make Trade For C.C. Sabathia [Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel]
CC To The Brewers: Does Anyone Win? [ImWritingSports]

With Marco Scutaro and Kevin Mench running from first and second, respectively, Cabrera made a diving backhand catch of a line drive by Lyle Overbay, touched second base to force Mench and then tagged out Scutaro. Observe:

You don't see it in the video, but as he ran off the field Cabrera flipped the ball into the stands. Isn't the ball used for the 14th triple play in baseball history kind of valuable? Unlike milestone home run balls, thing thing wasn't even marked, so it's lost to history I suppose. The Rockies' Troy Tulowitzki turned an unassisted triple play last season against the Braves. The last one in the AL was by Oakland's second baseman Randy Velarde, who did it against the Yankees in 2000. The first one in history was recorded by the Indians' Ball, in 1909. Wambsganss, a second baseman, had the only one in World Series play, in 1920 during Cleveland's Game 5 win over Brooklyn.

Fausto Carmona (4-1) earned the win for the Indians in the first game, and Cliff Lee lowered his ERA to .067 but failed to get the decision in the nightcap. Toronto's B.J. Ryan worked a scoreless ninth for the win.

• Zito Doesn't Lose! Barry Zito's record remained at 0-7 on Monday as he started and went five scoreless innings against the Astros, then losing a 3-0 lead in the sixth on a sacrifice fly and a two-run homer by Lance Berkman. You can hardly blame him for the latter; Berkman has recently signed a soul leasing agreement with Satan, setting a team record with 18 hits over five games and being named NL Player of the Week with a .682 batting average and 1.136 slugging percentage. Houston won 7-3.

• You're Not Funny! One reason newspapers are dying: Baseball beat reporters will laugh at anything. Witness the comedy stylings of Carlos Zambrano, following the Cubs' 12-3 win over the Padres on Monday. Zambrano (6-1) went seven strong innings in 41-degree weather to earn the win, prompting this line. "It's OK for me. I'm from Alaska,'' Zambrano said, drawing laughs at his postgame news conference. Tough crowd ... NOT. Zambrano deserves credit for great efforts on the mound and at the plate (a double and a single), but comedically he's a rung below Carlos Mencia. Note to sports media: Every word out of an athlete's mouth is not automatically comedy gold. Quit sucking up.

• Twofer Monday At Miller Park. Ryan Braun hit two homers for the second game in a row and two Cardinals were ejected — manager Tony LaRussa and catcher Yadier Molina — as the Brewers walloped St. Louis 8-3. Molina and La Russa were tossed for arguing balls and strikes in the fifth, shortly after the second of Braun's homers. Both came off of Adam Wainwright III (3-2), who is not prone to doing that sort of thing very often.

• Quote Of The Day. Manny Ramirez, who hit homer No. 498 in Boston's 7-3 loss to Minnesota on Monday: "I know I have two more to go, but I ain't counting." Whaaa?

The Cavs victory wasn't the only thing Mistake by the Lakers celebrated yesterday while eagerly awaiting their next 23-cent pizza day. Grady Sizemore homered twice and drove in five runs to propel the Tribe to a 12-0 throttling of the Blue Jays. It's enough to get Indians fans off their ice cream helmet binges. The still-struggling Travis Hafner went 0-for-3 but he did get hit by a pitch. Just keep leaning into 'em like Roger Dorn, Pronk. Aaron Laffey pitched seven inning of scoreless ball to pick up his first win of the season.

Orioles fuck with the DeJesus, still win: David DeJesus went 2-for-3 with a triple and scored two late runs, but Baltimore held on over KC thanks to a three-run homer by Kevin Millar (really?) in the 1st. The win marks the 12th straight win by the Orioles over the Royals.

That's a quality start: Kevin Millwood left with a strained groin after getting two outs in the 1st. I try to do that before the game starts, Kevin. The Rangers bullpen handled the rest. The A's snapped the Rangers 33-inning scoreless streak in the 3rd, but Texas picked up three late runs, two of which credited to the monster that is Keith Foulke, to earn the victory.

Winning Uggla: The Marlins continue to be one of the game's surprises this season while the Nationals, uh, do not. Dan Uggla drove in five runs and Andrew Miller pitched seven inning of two-hit ball to down the Nats 11-0. There's always Five Guys to soothe your sorrow, Nats fans. Mmmmm, cajun fries.

Mad Old Dog Collects Meaningless Milestone:: Greg Maddux picked up his 350th career win, becoming one of nine pitchers ever to do so, in a Padres' 3-2 win over the Rockies. Next up on the list: Roger Clemens at 354. Better start juicin'!

Lee (5-0) ran his consecutive scoreless innings streak to 27 before Wladimir Balentien's three-run homer in the seventh. That raised his ERA from 0.28 to 0.96, still lowest in the majors. Franklin Gutierrez had a run-scoring single in the fourth and a two-run single in the fifth for the Indians, still two games below .500 in the Central.

• At Wrigley Field (15th Place). Mark Cuban watched the Cubs exceed Brandon Bass' playoff scoring average as Chicago unleashed hell on the Brewers, 19-5. It was the Cubs' 17th April win, a club record. Geovany Soto had two three-run homers for Chicago.

• At Yankee Stadium (20th Place). Placido Polanco — one of the Three Tenors, if I'm not mistaken — had two homers to lead the Tigers to a 6-2 win over the reeling Yankees, who played their first game with Alex Rodriguez on the disabled list. Gary Sheffield had two hits for Detroit, which has won seven of nine but is still below .500 (13-15).

• At Shea Stadium (28th Place). Tom Gorzelanny allowed one hit over five innings for the win, then sent his bobblehead doll to talk with reporters after the game as the Pirates beat the Mets 13-1. Pittsburgh scored nine unearned runs, and ex-Met Xavier Nady was 3-for-3 with three RBI.

• Bad News Braves. Mike Hampton, who was supposed by be back for a May 10 start with Atlanta, won't be coming back any time soon. And the Braves need him, dammit.

Over at Clevescene, they're keeping their head about this whole thing. Here's their reaction to last night's game:

Theiona diaevion aeionfvaewoivna!!!?!? Lidsj navienvae!! Hiag!!?@! Ghai;oehg!! $#&%*#&%!! Dihweof weonaweovi oeivna!!

Roughly translated: F*#k!!!!!!

To be fair, anytime Borowski successfully saves a game, nobody notices; it's the blown saves that inspire the overheated reaction. (If the Tigers could ever win, Todd Jones would be going through the same thing.) This is going to get uglier before it gets prettier.

Joe Borowski Blows Another Save [CleveScene]
Bench Borowski

Save the unassisted triple play and the balk, is there a more exciting happenstance on the four-pointed meadow than the long sock with the bags bursting? The Grand Aria? The Cosmic Clout? How about a four-run four-bagger that propels your side to victory? Such a blazing instance of base balling prodigiousness is excitement enough to keep one awake until the wee hours.

So blame Two-I Torii Hunter for your inability to enter the land of Nod. His biggest of big flies turned defeat into glorious, unexpected joy in Disneyland, home of the fairy tale. The skip-away homer gave the O.C. boys a 6-4 win over the Cleveland nine and a half, and its hapless anchorman Jittery Joe Borowski.

Yes, 'tis true — the glue-handed patroller of the middle exterior known far and wide as "Butterfly Net" won this encounter with his ash, not his cowhide. Hunter socked as many balls over the distant fenceline as ego-letters contained in his forename. The first of his brace came in the penultimate innings, snapping a theretofore-tied 1-1 encounter.

Unfortunately for the Winged Ones, ordinarily terrifying concluder Francisco "Babalu" Rodriguez engendered little fright. Santeria let down the slightly built winger on this evening, as the Cuyahoga Chiefs popped a cap in Sancho in their final at bat. Right away, Frank gave a free pass to Pronk Hafner, and his substitute legs, Asdrubal "Mouthful" Cabrera, scored on a laced two-bagger into the farthest reaches of right field by El Jugador del Jugadores, Victor Martinez. He too was deemed unable to propel himself around the sacks with sufficient velocity, and David "Red Stick" Delluci brought his superior speed into the game in his stead. Jhonny "Spelled Wrong" Peralta than blooped a well-placed double into right. That plated another run, but avarice cost the 'H' man his place on the paths, getting cut down at the corner sack attempting to advance after the throw homeward.

Nevertheless, the Clevelanders now led, and after another base on balls, Rodriguez was off to the clubhouse, where he may have shattered a few of those false idols. His barrister would point out that a bum ankle from a tumble down the dugout steps half a fortnight ago is giving the slightly built hurler fits. Rubber replacement Sturdy Scotty Shields fared little better, though, giving up consecutive safeties, and the lead swelled to 4-2, Tribe. But with the bases at SRO (a situation we would see again moments later), Shields whiffed Casanova Sizemore, and got a harmless bounder from Jason Michaels to staunch the hemorrhage.

Down a pair, California could at least take comfort in the presence of the Human Heart Attack toeing the slab. Borowski the Palpitating Pole managed an initial out, but the cursed base on balls energized the Haloes. The Brown Russian golfed a lancet into left, and another series of wide ones to Local Legend Garrett Anderson put three men on. Enter the Hector of this particular epic. Torii speculated slider, and was proven Buffet-esque in this capacity. The breaker came as expected, and Two-I pounced, sending a towering thunderbolt to left, one that arced around the fair pole, nestling deep in the grandstands. Quite a way to ingratiate yourself with a new band of mates, and earn that munificent bi-weekly pay envelope.

The great Mitchum, a devoted base ball fan, was not in attendance, no doubt canoodling with good friend Mary Jane, but even so, it was truly the Night of the Hunter. At the final Station of the Diamond, the entire uniformed contingent of the franchise greeted the hero with ferocious backslaps and a pounding not seen since the Molineaux-Cribb bout — all with good intent, let me assure you.

"I told you when I got here, me and the rally monkey would be good friends," exulted Hunter in the dressing room. Someone has to pal around with that mangy, unlovable ape, one supposes, and cheers to Two-I for taking that particular travail for the team. As for his buried meaning, there was never any doubt in this scribe's brainpan about Hunter's ability at the urgent moment—despite previous failures I may have ascribed upon his inking with the club to his lack of inner fortitude.

The rest of the choir showed another unusual appreciation of Hunter's valor, vim, and vigor by pouring several bottles of unquaffable, domestically crafted and bottled admixtures of barley and hops over the diminutive outfielder. Time was, rest assured, the assembled wretches stained by ink who took as much joy in Two-I's feat as did his mates would have joined in the damp celebrations.

Alas, times have changed.

Of course Monday's real star was Manny Ramirez, whose two-run homer — career No. 493 — led a three-run rally in the ninth. Hmm, the Red Sox staging a comeback from a large deficit to overtake the Indians? Sounds very familiar, but I can't place it ... . It was the 132nd career homer at Progressive Field for the former Indian, who hit it off of Joe Borowski, who led the AL with 45 saves last season.

• A-Rod Mingles With the Stars. Meanwhile, with Derek Jeter back in the lineup, the Yankees beat the Rays 8-7 as Alex Rodriguez rubbed shoulders with the great Ted Williams and Willie McCovey, one of whom is dead, so that was kind of weird. It was homer No. 521 for Rodriguez, tying him with Teddy Ballgame and Stretch for 15th on the all-time list. And when you account for cattle steroids, corked bats and such, it puts him in 11th place. Robinson Cano, who is also not dead, had a pinch-hit homer in the eighth for the winning run.

• Big Unit Back In Stock. Now let's head over to the NL, where Randy Johnson returned to great fanfare for the Diamondbacks! And he pitched well (seven strikeouts, four walks, three hits over five innings). But the Giants won it 5-4, when reliever Chad Qualls gave up a run-scoring groundout to Ray Durham and a sacrifice fly to Bengie Molina in the seventh. After a 1-6 start, SF has won two straight and is is 6-8.

• Can You Hear Me Now? Whoa, what's going on with the Athletics? Greg Smith, making his second Major League appearance, gave up one run and six hits over seven innings to lead a 2-1 win over the White Sox at U.S. Cellular Field, where the gametime temperature was 42 degrees. (Not much better in the Bay Area, where it was 54 in San Francisco.)

• Messing With Texas. Ervin Santana entered Monday's game with Texas with a 1-4 record and an 8.92 ERA in seven career starts in Arlington, then gave up three runs in the first. So it goes without saying that he went on to get the win as the Angels prevailed, 7-4. Mike Napoli homered as LA handed the Rangers their fourth straight loss.

1. Detroit Tigers. We know the pitching is a bit of a mess, but man, we really just can't get past that lineup.
2. Cleveland Indians. It's amazing how they became the hot World Series pick right after Gammons started touting them.
3. Kansas City Royals. We always, ALWAYS overrate the Royals. This happens every year. We don't
4. Chicago White Sox. How old do you think Jose Contreras really is? We're going with 44.
5. Minnesota Twins. Remember when Joe Mauer was the next face of baseball?

That's it, we're done, predictions as always, awful.