I'm really not sure that many people care about this anymore, but AJ saw it last night, sent me some mocking text messages and asked if I'd write about it. So, to answer all your nonexistent questions:

Whose idea was this?
Costas'. He called me late last week and asked if I'd be down with it. I said sure, why not. This came 30 seconds before Bob crowed about how much he had helped my career, a claim I found specious, and said so. I'm not sure he listened. Anyway. Bob just said, "You should sit next to Buzz during the show, and drink beer together, and I'll make a joke about how baseball can bring anyone together." I happen to agree with this sentiment 100 percent, and, whatever, free beer.

Buzz was OK with this?
He was, though, when I contacted him beforehand about it over email, he wanted to do something overly complicated, like hold up a sign that said "I still think you're full of shit" or something. This might have been funny, but needlessly difficult for a cameo that would last about five seconds.

So how was Buzz? Did you guys talk during the show?
He was nice, actually. We're not gonna be best pals or anything, but I think he recognizes the PR value of putting this whole thing to bed and, frankly, so do I. During the show, we talked about:

a: The wretchedness of the hot dogs. (Honestly, those things had to have been four days old.)
b: Whether Pete Rose should be in the Hall of Fame. (Both of us say no.)
c: How much of an idiot I would be if I spilled my beer on Bob Gibson, who was sitting on the other side of me. (And complimented my hat.)

Honestly, though, it was just a fun little stunt; it's hard to make too large of a deal out of anything so silly when Willie Mays and Hank Aaron are in the room.

Anybody there dumb?
Steve Hirdt is a numbers guy for people who don't like numbers. Or logic. Or sentient thought.

In the words of Gabe Roth, "Can I go? Is this over?"
Please do.

I thought I'd make my first Emeritus post — New York magazine is fun! I'm totally learning about Fashion Week and sushi restaurants! — about Rick, and the Cardinals, and those ridiculous Cubs-Brewers trades because, honestly, if I'd had my druthers, I'd have written every post about the Cardinals when I was editor of this here site. (It was difficult not to. Extremely so.) So while I have a few moments before I have to approve the new Vincent Gallo photo spread, I thought I'd scratch the itch.

I know, I know: Billy Beane's the genius, we all know it, we all love him, he loves the Ramones, whatta guy. But I cannot fathom what he's thinking with the Rich Harden trade. We understand that Harden is probably going to get hurt — it's nice to see the Cubs have Mark Prior back — and then everyone will give him backslaps and man hugs, no homo. But Jim Hendry can claim all he wants that the trade wasn't a reaction to the Sabathia trade — which seems much more fair, and didn't actually upset us nearly as much — and we're still not going to believe him. That's really all Beane could get for Harden? Sean Gallagher? I'd rather have Black Gallagher.

Sure, Harden is probably gonna break down. But that doesn't make Eric Patterson a better second baseman.

More to the point, both the Cubs and the Brewers have made moves that the Cardinals shouldn't — and probably can't — counter. In a way, the fact that the two teams had to make the trades at all is a victory; if the Cardinals aren't dramatically overachieving in the first place, maybe everybody feels a little more comfortable with where they stand and don't make the risk trades. This was never supposed to be a contending season for the Cardinals; it's a house money season. If they keep this going, wow, what a great story. If they don't, well, it has been more fun that anyone thought it would be, now trade Ludwick for a prospect or two. It's clear the Cardinals aren't as talented as the Cubs or Brewers, and that was true before those two trades. But hey, why not let it ride? It's bizarre that the Birds have even made it this far.

But yes: The MLB Extra Innings package continues to break my heart. Anytime they have the road announcers, they always bring up the Ankiel pitching thing. Al Hrabosky and Dan McLaughlin, the Cardinals announcers, never even refer to Ankiel as a pitcher; they know how much it hurts Cardinals fans to even think about it. But every time Ankiel bats and we have the road announcers ... "what a story, this kid, with the pitching and the ..." The mute button is smashed immediately. Honestly, that video above, that's Faces Of Death for Cardinals fans; it should be on rotten.com.

Here's a video that's been making the rounds the past couple of days, showing a ballgirl making a rather unbelievable catch of a foul ball during a Fresno Grizzlies game at Chukchansi Park. Pretty impressive; even when you discover that it was staged. It's actually a Gatorade commercial which was filmed following a regularly-scheduled game between the Grizzlies and the Tacoma Rainers. But it had — and continues to have — a lot of people fooled.

"The production company “leaked” the video onto the Internet over the weekend hoping for a viral effect, and considering the number of calls we’ve received today from all over the country, I suppose the strategy worked somewhat," said Grizzlies media and public relations director Paul Kennedy. "Everyone that called believed the video to be real, or were leaning in that direction. The original cut had the commercial voice-over and a logo at the end, but without that people were completely fooled."

Anyone really familiar with Minor League baseball would have known something was up: As Kennedy said, "Unfortunately we don’t have the budget for ball girls here at Chukchansi Park."

Interesting article in Shoot Online on how the commercial was made; it was created by Chicago's Element 79 Partners and directed by Baker Smith of Santa Monica.

As for how the ball girl (played by stuntwoman Phoenix Brown) made the spectacular catch that is the highlight of the video, she got a little help from rigs and Framestore CFC. Smith and his crew shot the big catch right after the game they were shooting concluded, attaching the ball girl to wires and having two stunt men off to the side literally yanking her up the wall. "It was so low-tech," Smith said of the stunt. "We had her run, and she would jump, and they just gave her a little extra oomph. It was really very, very simple."

But one has to feel sorry for poor Jake Wald, the left fielder shown in the video who "didn't even bother to give an effort," according to the announcer. Wald, who is in reality an infielder (and now plays for the Connecticut Defenders), will be forever known by those not in on the joke as the guy who got shown up by a girl.

Top Spot Of The Week [ShootOnline]

There's no way we're not seeing that cow in our nightmares. We had no idea he was so ... tall.

We assume, fellow Chick-Fil-A fans, that the cow takes Sunday off.

The Tomahawk Chopping Cow [UmpBump]

Here's the report:

Shaquille O'Neal took the mic at a NYC club last night, unleashing a freestyle verbal assault directed at his arch-enemy Kobe Bryant — blaming his former teammate for ruining his marriage and imploring him to "Tell me how my ass tastes."

After spending several verses shredding Kobe apart for losing in the NBA playoffs, Shaq drops the line, "I'm a horse, Kobe ratted me out, that's why I'm getting divorced."

The line most likely references a comment Kobe made during his infamous 2003 rape case, when he told Colorado police that he "Should have done what Shaq does ... Shaq would pay his women not to say anything." The two became famously bitter rivals after the incident.

Calls to Kobe's reps were not returned.

It's amazing how catchy that song is: Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes?

You can even download it here. Remix!

The key to Carlin was always the precision of his language; he selected every word for maximum impact. He once said when he was almost finished writing a routine, he would smoke a joint and go over it one last time ... just to make sure it had that final kick. (We do not do this with every post. Sorry.)

To us, Carlin mattered because he took nothing at face value; everyone was a phony until proven otherwise. Even in death.

RIP, sir.

"This is no laughing matter." Nope! Not at all! (She's fine, by the way. That's why it's funny.)

By the way, did you know Major League Soccer Lacrosse was founded by the Body By Jake guy? We had no idea.

Hence, this:

Personally, we think "Ice Is Workin' It" would have been more embarrassing. Work it ... Ice ... Yeah ... Come on work it, baby.

At this point it should be mentioned that not only did we own a "To The Extreme" cassette when we were 15, we actually listened to it on a constant loop. (Yep Yep.) This probably does not surprise you. Though clearly someone was buying that album; that sumbitch sold seven million copies of that thing. It wasn't just us. In fact, it was probably a lot of you. Don't lie.

Kevin Millar's New Look [Bromoblog]

You have to love Canada. Here, we have racing sausage. There, pieces of sushi run around the field. We are rooting against Wasabi.

We are wondering what different foods/items different cities might have, if Canada's so damn big about sushi. In Los Angeles, do they just have different varieties of oxygen run around? How is oxygen personified, anyway?

So yeah. Good morning.

Opening Night At The Nat [Orland Kurtenblog]

Keith Olbermann seemed genuinely flustered last night when Al Gore took his sweet time taking the stage at Joe Louis Arena to endorse Barack Obama; so much so that he forgot what team Chauncey Billups plays for. Billups was onstage to introduce Gore, and Olbermann had to go to his notes to identify him; at first claiming that he played for the Nuggets. Close ... both cities begin with a D. Come on Keith, you're a former SportsCenter anchor.

Part of the problem was that Olbermann's show was just about to end, and he was frustrated because Gore had not yet reached the stage (those ethanol-powered limos are goof for the environment but slow). Meaning that the upstart Dan Abrams — who reminds me of that kid who you always threw rocks at from your tree fort — was going to get the speech on his show in the following time slot.

Al Gore Endorses Barack Obama [MSNBC]
Keith Olbermann Doesn't Have Much Time For Sports These Days [Awful Announcing]

Well, that went about as expected, considering that Sussman is their starting goalie. Barbados lost to the U.S. 8-0 on Sunday in a World Cup qualifier, as you can see in the above video highlights, which are nearly as long as the match itself. Watch closely, because I'm pretty sure we scored two goals during the National Anthem.

Here are the unbelievable details. (Imagine the poor sap who had Barbados plus seven goals in this one). It was the worst drubbing in international competition since the Bournemouth Gynecologists beat the Watford Long John Silver Impersonators (shown below at about the 2:00 mark).

U.S. Overwhelms Barbados In Qualifying Opener [Yahoo Sports]

Acting! What's more fun than seeing Russert saying, "it's all about the Benjamins" while doing a fist bump? If you haven't seen Luke Russert's interview this morning with "Today," we recommend doing so immediately, but only when no one's around, lest your boss make fun of you for weeping. We still think the Luke Russert tattoo story is one of our favorite father-son stories we've heard.

We still will never forgive Russert for the Red Sox Nation thing, but we still, three days later, can't believe the guy died. Back to sports now.

First off, we love that he realizes that "whine" and "wine" are pronounced the same, and just runs with it, man. Secondly ... we suspect that Kobe Bryant has never, ever done 20 shots in one sitting; we wonder if he has even done two. We still love the mental image of a histrionic Kobe sitting at his dinner table, forlorn, screaming for an assistant to rush over a new bottle of Sauvignon blanc, with a butter nipple shot in one hand and a Michelob Ultra in the other. Yeah: He really took that loss hard.

We enjoy heckling as much as the next guy, but yeah: This is a bit much. It's also the inevitable byproduct of having open bullpens like that. Yes, yes, you bought a ticket, you have the right to yell ... but man, points go to Percival for not throwing his glove at somebody.

Seriously, though, about those Rays: Remember back in March 2007, when Rays president Matthew Silverman amusingly bought himself a blogger fan? We mocked them — good-naturedly — back then, but the Rays are clearly on the right track, fanbase wise. If there's any way to bring fans into the Rays tent (and we're not entirely sold that there is), these guys are finding it.

Yes, bringer of life to the planet ... YOU SUCK! TRADE THE BUM!

Fans showed their approval when a cloud moved in front of the sun during the fifth inning of the Yankees-Royals game. They booed moments later when the sun returned.

We are reminded again of the most terrifying moment in our parents' baseball fandom life. During a rain delay at Yankee Stadium in 2003, the Leitches, all dressed up in their dopey Cardinals best, looked onto the Bronx Bleachers from above. Upon spotting us, the Yankees fans started chanting, "DAR-RYL KILE! DAR-RYL KILE!"

It took us about 20 minutes to calm down Mom.

After Jeering The Sun, New York Fans Have Now Jeered Everything Possible [Lion In Oil]

Most frighteningly, as The Serious Tip points out, their collective voices sounds like ... well, an old friend.

That's actually a substantial fight, one worthy of praise; had there been a game going on, they'd have broken it up so much sooner. We hope this was a run-of-the-mill dispute, the kind that happens when you file thousands of people into a confined space to watch the home team stink it up for three-plus quarters. If someone was wearing a Celtics jersey, at the Staples Center for a non-game, they probably had it coming.

LA Delivers A Huge Beat Down, But Not On The Court [FanIQ]

Game 5's aura hung over Mellon Arena. The Penguins had snatched victory, $6 champagne, and the Stanley Cup away from Detroit. Would this young team continue to shock the hockey world? Or would Detroit hunker down and play the style of hockey that led them to this point?

Detroit started the game inauspiciously enough. Petr Sykora attempted to get the Pens on the board early when Niklas Kronwall accidentally backhanded a weak pass directly at the Czech forward. However, unlike Game 5, Sykora did not guarantee anything to Pierre McGuire, so Chris Osgood trapped the puck between his legs. Three minutes later, with the Red Wings on the power play, Henrik Zetterberg found Brian Rafalski, whose wrist shot deflected off Hal Gill and past Marc-Andre Fleury. Detroit complicated their early lead by taking two minor penalties 27 seconds apart, but the foursome of Zetterberg, Lidstrom, Kronwall, and Osgood allowed only two shots during this period.

The second period brought more open ice than the first, but the Red Wings still controlled the game's tempo. More important, Fleury's fivehole weakness came to light. With 8:05 remaining, the Pittsburgh netminder stopped a sharp-angle slapper from Mikael Samuelsson, leaving a big rebound. Valtteri Filppula's backhanded swat at the rebound did not leave the ice, but found its way in between Fleury's pads and into the net, giving Detroit a 2-0. Mellon Arena remained stunned until Evgeni Malkin scored his first goal of the series on a power play to reduce the deficit to one again.

When the third period started, Fleury, the player who saved the Pens' tails in Game 5, needed to show that same poise and concentration that necessitated a sixth game; Detroit's suffocating trap yielded few chances for a sustained attack. Unfortunately for Pittsburgh, he could not maintain that level of play. Zetterberg, the most dangerous man in the playoffs, skated one-on-four into the Penguins zone before ripping a wrist shot that Fleury slowed down before it passed through his legs and stopped inches short of the net. From the main angle, the puck appeared to be under Fleury, but the referee behind the net saw that the puck was not covered. Fleury, also not aware of the puck's location, instinctively fell backwards. Instead, he knocked the puck into his own net before a defenseman could sweep it under his back, and Zetterberg scored his 13th of the playoffs.

Most Red Wings fans believed that a two goal lead would be insurmountable at this point, as Detroit had allowed only three shots through 17 minutes, but how quickly they forgot the series' previous game. After Jiri Hudler's hooking penalty with 1:47 remaining, Pittsburgh pulled Fleury. Twenty seconds later, Marian Hossa niftily deflected Sergei Gonchar's wrist shot past Osgood. Pittsburgh still had life, but they needed another goal. Detroit let the Penguins enter their zone again but cleared the puck with eight seconds remaining. Sidney Crosby, silent until this point, let go one last backhanded shot that Osgood could not control completely, leaving a rebound to Marian Hossa, but the Pens' trade deadline acquisition could not release a shot before the horn sounded.

Detroit rushed to their goalie Osgood, a man who had returned to Detroit having failed in his previous ventures elsewhere. He started as a backup this postseason, and although he did not win the Conn Smythe Trophy (Zetterberg did, tallying 13 goals, 14 assists and penalty kill ice time during two 5-on-3's), he proved that he was not just a lucky goaltender with a great defense.

On the other side, Marian Hossa, an unrestricted free agent, slumped to the ice. Will he return to the Penguins? And what of Ryan Malone and Brooks Orpik, two other key cogs to the Penguins playoff run? Ray Shero will have a tough decision on who to keep.

Finally, to lighten the atmosphere, Gary Bettman appeared to hand out some hardware. After Zetterberg claimed the Conn Smythe Trophy, Lidstrom, the first European captain to win a Stanley Cup, skated over to the diminutive commissioner. After posing for his photo with Bettman, he returned to his team with hardware in hand and handed the Cup to Dallas Drake, the 16-year veteran who played in over one thousand games without reaching the Stanley Cup Finals. Drake signed a one-year deal last year, looking for one last championship opportunity. Although his struggle was not a media sensation like that of Ray Bourque, it was refreshing to see him glide over the ice, holding his dream above his head.

So ends another hockey season. Will Detroit succeed where other teams have failed and win consecutive Stanley Cups? They return with many of their major parts intact. Lidstrom, Zetterberg, Datsyuk, Holmstrom, Franzen, Osgood, and many others are signed through at least next year. Or will another team usurp them? We at MYFO cannot wait for September to come.

The five of us would like to thank Deadspin for the opportunity to provide you with myopic hockey analysis and supererogatory sophomoric humor and female body parts for the past two months (I'm most proud of giving the sobriquet "Sphincters" to San Jose's team). Even though the postseason is over, the NHL Entry Draft is June 20-21, and training camps start soon afterward. So, if you're looking for the best objective hockey analysis, stay far, far away from the hyperlink at the top of the page. However, if you're looking for a place to make fun of Steven Stamkos' hair, do peruse our fair site.

Any sports personality who's established a serious level of online notoriety now has a must-stop to truly establish themselves as an internet mega-star: Mottram and Steinberg's "Blog Show." The Comcast D.C. mini-sodes have risen from the depths of cable access-style shlockyness to fascinating and entertaining meta-coverage of the sports blog universe. The show's power and influence reached a new level of legitimacy with its most recent guest: ESPN sideline princess, Erin Andrews.

Congratulations, boys. Your efforts have not gone unnoticed.

Dit,dit,dit-dit-dit-dit-, dit-dit-dit, dit...Blog Show.

Blog Show No. 51: Erin Andrews [Mr. Irrelevant]

We don't see how any reasonable person could not see it as obviously intentional, but they've gotta investigate anyway.

"It looks bad, and most people who look at it come away with that conclusion," [school principal David] Friend said. "But there have been wacky things that have happened in baseball and high schools, and all I'm going to conclude is that it does need to be investigated. If we're found to be at fault, we'll effectively deal with the situation."

Friend said he had interviewed his baseball coaches today and concluded they were not to blame. Friend said he had not finished talking to the players.

The catcher and pitcher say it was a sign mixup. The only way that was a sign mixup is if the catcher had given the sign to "remain standing and catch the ball."

Best thing about this: There was a runner on second, who advanced.

Incoming: Conspiracy To Drill High School Ump In Face? [Walk Off Walk]

The famous Cincinnati mayor Mark Mallory is still probably the worst, though his endless "jokey" PR campaign about it took a lot of the fun out of it. If we ever had to throw out a first pitch sometime, we'd be so nervous, we probably wouldn't do much better. We wonder if celebrities can just start bringing a JUGGS machine out here. (Kinda looks like Mariah did.)

Worst First Pitches Of All Time [FanIQ]

Amazingly, it has been less than a year since the ridiculous Kobe Video broke; look at Kobe now. To this day, we cannot fathom what compelled Kobe to light Bynum up like that to two random dudes he started talking to in the parking lot. We love TheKobeVideo.com; the famously "entrepreneurial" site proprietors are selling the domain name. Starting bid is $500. Better hope for a sex tape, gentlemen.

The Kobe Video

We're not sure anyone other than Kevin Millar is in on the joke here, but alas: Here's "Orioles Magic," the new/old/new theme song for the Baltimore Orioles, sung by the Baltimore Orioles, rocked out by the Baltimore Orioles.

The Orioles are only two games out of first — behind the Rays! — in the American League East, and they seem to be having fun. Enjoy it while you can, aging O's. We would love to see every team redo old team songs; seeing Ankiel and Pujols dance out to Glenn Frey's "The Heat Is On" from 1985 would be pretty awesome.

We can understand how this might happen; there can't be much more soul-crushing for a freestylist like Barkley than reading yet another T-Mobile "My 5" promo. Dumbass.

We think, after a shot like that, you don't get to strut as if you just didn't something over which you had total control. If you can classify that as "strutting."

Steve Goodwin Strikes 80-Yard Goal [FanIQ]

On a positive note, maybe the crowd tonight will be more welcoming to Mr. Astley. (They're supposedly running all the songs for the next five nights.) We might dress up as Mr. Astley at the game tonight just to serve the cause.

Seriously, though, Rick Astley aside: Can Mets fans please not pick "Sweet Caroline?"

Mets Get Rick Rolled [The 700 Level]

The Chicago Sun-Times announced earlier today that Katie Hamilton, a 22-year-old college student, won its "Zell No" video contest. The newspaper says her entry "chastises [Tribune CEO Sam] Zell for pondering the sale of Wrigley Field's naming rights." What the paper didn't seem to realize was that Hamilton is an intern at the Chicago Tribune. Yes, that Tribune. The one that Zell owns.

The Tribune was doing quite a bit of crowing Wednesday night over their shenanigans, forgetting that they are still owned by Zell, who could convert the entire operation into a meat processing plant on the slightest whim.

Anyway, below is a submission I liked better. And I'm sure it would have won if the youngest kid's guitar had been plugged in.

Trib Takes Sun Times' Prize [Chicago Tribune]
Chicago Tribune Claims Win In Chicago Sun-Times Video Contest [USA Today]

If you need to see how this rink-wide fight between the Texas Tornado and the Santa Fe Roadrunners progressed into a goalie-on-goalie melee, perhaps the longer version will provide some ... no? That doesn't help? The guy pulling his opponent off the ground only to punch him back down to the ice only raises more questions than it answers, you say.

But my favorite part is probably that the guy who ends the fighting, his name is Hansen.

Gus Johnson Has Nothing On This Guy [100% FanIQ Rate]