Colin Kaepernick's "$126 Million Contract" Is Remarkably Team-Friendly

We've learned long ago that the reported figures for big NFL deals should be ignored until the actual details emerge. So when Colin Kaepernick signed a contract that "could be worth $126 million through 2020," I hope you didn't believe either of those numbers. This is a below-market deal that ends whenever the 49ers… » 6/05/14 11:04am 6/05/14 11:04am

Shut the Fuck Up, Jim Harbaugh

Jim Harbaugh is the coach of the NFL's San Francisco 49ers. He's best known for blowing Super Bowls, wearing awful pants, and generally acting like a fucking child and consummate dick. Apparently, ol' Jim couldn't wait another two weeks for the NFL Draft to remind everyone that he's a shitmouth, so he decided to say… » 4/26/14 9:29am 4/26/14 9:29am

Colin Kaepernick Responds To Allegations Of Sexual Assault

Via his Twitter account, 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick has responded to reports about his alleged involvement in a "suspicious incident" that is currently being investigated by the Miami police. He took particular issue with TMZ's report, which stated that Kaepernick is being investigated for sexual assault. » 4/11/14 11:48am 4/11/14 11:48am

Colin Kaepernick, Two Other NFLers Investigated In "Suspicious Incident"

According to Miami police, San Francisco 49ers players Colin Kaepernick and Quinton Patton and Seahawks receiver Ricardo Lockette are being investigated in connection with what is being called a "suspicious incident" that occurred in Miami earlier this month. [Update: the full incident report can be found at the… » 4/10/14 1:42pm 4/10/14 1:42pm

Colin Kaepernick On Richard Sherman: “Come On”

Colin Kaepernick was in a private room on the sixth floor of a West Side event space, standing in front of a white scrim festooned with corporate logos and posing for photos with a succession of lesser VIPs. He was there as the "surprise guest" of Deadspin's Super Bowl party last night, which is another way of saying… » 1/30/14 10:45am 1/30/14 10:45am

McDonald's Has 10 Million Pounds Of Unsold Mighty Wings

This fall, McDonald's introduced Mighty Wings, those seasoning sticks vaguely flavored like chicken. Remember those commercials with Joe Flacco and Colin Kaepernick? They threw footballs for wings! What a world! Anyway, the promotion started with an inventory of 50 million pounds of wings, and there are still 10… » 12/19/13 8:40pm 12/19/13 8:40pm

How ESPN Pulled A Bullshit Colin Kaepernick Story Out Of Thin Air

By pulling out of its partnership with Frontline, ESPN reminded us, yet again, where its newsroom stands. It's second fiddle to the company's business interests. So, let's show you what the flagship show of ESPN's newsroom does in lieu of participating in a documentary that the NFL is afraid of. It's a story that the… » 8/23/13 12:30pm 8/23/13 12:30pm

The Media Has Resorted To Hyping Up Just How Boring Colin Kaepernick's…

Have we run out of storylines yet? Pretty much, yes. After doggedly reporting on the various verbal gaffes and screwy pronouncements emanating from the Ravens and 49ers this week, football writers turned to Colin Kaepernick and decided they needed an identifiable character trait that went beyond "new," "tattooed," and… » 2/03/13 1:05pm 2/03/13 1:05pm

Rick Reilly's Column About Colin Kaepernick Is The Smarmiest Story Of…

The crux of Rick Reilly's latest column for ESPN.com is this: San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick should take steps to foster a relationship with his birth mother because Reilly's own adopted daughter has a healthy relationship with her birth mother. No, seriously, that's Reilly's argument, because Rick… » 1/31/13 10:40am 1/31/13 10:40am