Gupta has recently apologized for the ads and pulled the panda one from the airwaves, but this whole thing is probably going exactly to plan.

1. Create racist commercials that are sure to cause controversy and be seen by millions;
2. Pull ads when outcry gets too loud;
3. Profit. (Gupta says his company will make $3 for ever dollar spent on the ads).

Sound sleazy? Well, InfoUSA is a data collection company that sells leads to telemarketers. Is there anything lower?

Gupta is taking to an extreme what marketers have known for years — that merely placing an ad on the Super Bowl broadcast can give a company enormous cachet. Small companies suddenly can appear formidable simply by shelling out the cover charge — an average of $2.7 million for 30 seconds of air time this year. "The beauty of our Super Bowl ad is, it's like being invited to the White House," Gupta said. "You have the bragging rights. Instant credibility."

And Mr. Gupta knows of what he speaks. He's a huge Hillary Clinton supporter who has donated millions to both Clintons since the 1980s. And he's been in trouble with his stockholders recently, with allegations that he has wasted funds on taking the Clintons on vacations in the private company jet. That's been bothersome to Hillary's campaign; which has distanced itself from Gupta in recent weeks.

So anyway, if some good is to come of all of this, perhaps it will be an end to fake Chinese accents. I've never found one remotely funny; not even when Asians do them (hello Margaret Cho). I'm sure George Lucas must agree.

And sue me if you wish, but I don't find pandas all that amusing either. You're gonna tell me to turn off my cell phone at the movies? Fur covered bastards ...

Clinton Backer's Ties To Powerful Cut Both Ways [New York Times]
When The Advertiser's Goal Is To Be The Worst [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
Racist Super Bowl Commercials [iPara Justicia Y Libertad]

And don't expect to laugh either:

[T]he organization, which aims to create programs to stop illicit drug use, drug-related crime and violence, and drug manufacturing and trafficking, will run at least one commercial during the event.

I have a seasoned beef with two traits pertaining to Super Bowl commercials, which is coincidentally the way I judge underwhelming Deadspin comments:

(1) If they're not funny
(2) If they're politically charged or pertain to a serious issue

Usually I can condone one of those broken commandments if the other rule is far from being breached. A hilarious political ad? Sure. An unfunny commercial for some product? (Looking your way, SalesGenie.com.) Well, at least they're trying to stay in business.

But if it's a straight-faced "don't do drugs" commercial, then come on, government. I pay your salary. At least the third grade drug counselor came up with a sing-a-long, with clapping and rhyming and free donuts.

The White House Wants to Wreck Your Super Bowl Viewing Experience [FanIQ]
White House Drug Office Has Super Bowl Plans [Advertising Age]

(Aside: So 100% Injury Rate writes for FanIQ now? All this blog synergy is making my head spin. Head ... spin ... dot ... com.)

Simple. What this commercial tells me is that were I to draw the attraction of a drop dead gorgeous supermodel while wearing Axe, she'll either:

(a) Collapse right there on the dance floor, making it difficult to drag her back to my apartment without the junior high school dance chaperon noticing, or

(b) Make it back to my apartment, but when I take my shirt off, she'll promptly lunge for the shirt on the ground, and roll around the floor with it. Not that this is a horrible thing to watch, but it effectively defeats the purpose.

I can't tell you how many times Scenario B personally happened to me. But I promise I will, once the number becomes greater than zero.

Girls Fight Over F.C. Axe Body Spray Kits [The Beautiful Game]

Like several of the other ads Fogle does with athletes, he and Howard stand beside each other in front of a table laden with a couple of Subway subs and one of the competition's sandwiches. Howard looks like a natural, shooting his fingers at the camera as Fogle introduces him, then at one point feigning a swing as he says that all the meat in the sub "fills me up, so I can hit the long ball."

The ad wraps with Howard flipping the ball underhanded to Fogle, then sheepishly grinning and saying, "That was a terrible toss."

Ryan Howard deserves some endorsement love, and of course, I'd never begrudge a man a chance to make an easy buck. But it would be nice if he could star in a commercial that's a little more manly ... like Stayfree Ultra Thin Overnight Maxi Pads with Wings, for example.

Subway Diet Makes You Weak [The700Level]

Slugging Howard knows how to pitch, too [Philly.com]

That shot at the end sounded like it was pretty painful for him. I'm not quite sure what happened to Bill there, but he should probably get himself checked out for a hernia.

Bill Russell Can Save You Money! [The Basketball Jones]

If you're tortured by these memories, rest easy: Applebee's is killing them. Not literally murdering them, just losing the ad campaign. And I know what you're thinking. Just now? Yes. Just now. From the Kansas City Star, with thanks to a guy named Dave for the tip:

"While they were certainly memorable, they were also very polarizing," Dave Goebel, president and chief operating officer, said of the three ads, which started running earlier this year. Goebel also told Wall Street analysts that research showed the ads did not focus enough on the food. Bloggers and critic Bob Garfield of Advertising Age had a field day with the campaign, skewering it more than the grilled shrimp promoted in one of the spots.

Well, tough break, Applebee's guys. To be honest, I probably wouldn't have found the commercials so mercilessly unpleasant had I not been forced to watch them roughly 20 times per day over a two-week span. When March rolls around, we will certainly find someone else to hate.

'Applebee's Guys' dumped: We're just not into you [Kansas City Star]
Applebee's Is Taking Over Your Life [Deadspin]

The best SportsCenter commercial of all time, in my opinion.

Ben Howland may want to show this one to the team for inspiration before Monday's night's game.

Albert: A Quality Mascot [Every Day Should Be Saturday]

I hope someone drugs the painted-up screaming guy who got a good deal on his State Farm insurance, and he gets behind the wheel of a Pontiac with faulty brakes and plows into another car carrying the two douchebags who spend all of their waking hours comparing their cell phones, and someone's Cingular phone gets jammed completely into the rectum of one of the fucking student athletes who went pro in something other than sports. And then I hope the painted-up guy's insurance premiums go up, causing him to completely flip out and kill Emeka Okafor.

But, by far, your least favorite, judging from the e-mails I'm getting... revolves around a three-hour tewerrrrr. I don't know why the people at Appleby's thought we'd enjoy seeing those two guys perform that particular song 700 times this weekend, but it does not make me want shrimp.
Complete Sports is a little tired of them, as well. They go into a little more detail.

Ok, these commericals are getting a little ridiculous. [Complete Sports]

"Love me or hate me, it s one or the other. Always has been. Hate my game, my swagger. Hate my fadeaway, my hunger. Hate that I'm a veteran. A champion. Hate that. Hate it with all your heart. And hate that I'm loved, for the exact same reasons."

In listing all the things that people hate about him, I just get this weird feeling that he left something out. I can't quite put my finger on what it is. It seems like there's another major reason that some people don't like Kobe Bryant. I don't know. I can't think of it. Maybe, "Hate my forceful penetration. Of the lane, I mean."

Said Kobe of the ad, "This one is one that is true to form. It is real, it is honest. We're not selling an image. It's not like we're trying to polish my image or clean it up."

Uh huh.

Oh, good. Because I can't get enough of Pete Coors standing alone in the woods. That guy creeps me out. Maybe it's just me, but I think he's got some deep, dark secret out there. People don't go into the woods by themselves for no reason, and Pete isn't dressed for hunting. I think he's doing something deviant out there. I just don't know what it is.

Oh well. At least we still have Nextel.

No More Women Wrestling in Their Underwear While Soaking Wet [The 700 Level]

And I'm stickin' with ya for the late game. Back at the end of the first quarter.