We arrived at the corner of Surf and Stillwell around 10am, a little more than two hours before the contest kicked off. This giant countdown clock thingie let all of us in attendance know exactly how long we had to bake in the hot sun before the start of the main event.

Since we had some time to kill, we went over to Nathan's for a breakfast of cheese fries and chili dog. I mean, how could we not?

Of the estimated 50,000 people in attendance yesterday, this guy, wearing blue jean cutoffs and a giant wiener on his head with his nipples painted red, white and blue, stood out to me more than any other. I wasn't sure whether I should admire his unbridled enthusiasm for the event or if I should mock him mercilessly for being a Herculean tool. I'm still going back and forth on this.

This will be my girlfriend in 15 years or so. Isn't she just so damn precious? I can just see us holding hands while walking at night along the River Seine in Paris, diamonds reflecting in her eyes all the while. It will be so fantastically fine.

Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen as much red, white and blue as I saw yesterday.

One of the more interesting and surprising takeaways from attending the event yesterday was seeing the passion of the competitive eating circuit's fans. At various points in the time leading up to the start of the contest, the Joey Chestnut fans and the Takeru Kobayashi fans, many of them traveling great distances to attend, took turns taunting each other from opposite sides of the crowd.

About an hour before the start of the contest, a black bus carrying all of the competitors arrived. Pictured here is Tim "Eater X" Janus, exiting the bus with his game-face on.

Before the start of the main event Erin, a longtime vegetarian, fought her way through the crowd to get some pics of the competitors up close. After it was over one of the first things out of her mouth was, "That was one of the grossest things I've ever witnessed."

This is Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas, currently ranked 6th in the world by Major League Eating. At 5'5'', 105 lbs, she holds the world record for most oysters eaten in 10 minutes (46 dozen), and is the reigning champion in the cheesecake, buffalo wing, Vienna sausage, baked beans, fried okra and lobster categories. She came in 6th overall yesterday after eating 41 hot dogs.

For most of the competition, Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi were neck and neck, with Chestnut maintaining a lead of one or two hot dogs throughout. Here, about 2/3 of the way through, is where Chestnut usually slows down, but yesterday he powered through and kicked it into overdrive. Look at the intensity on that man's face!

If ever a photograph perfectly captured the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, it is this one. Joey Chestnut ate 68 hot dogs to Kobayashi's 64 1/2.

Major League Eating Chairman and event emcee George Shea announces Joey Chestnut as the winner. Throughout the day I thought that Shea was some sort of hired gun, some showman brought in to play host. Turns out he's the brains of the whole operation, a modern day P.T. Barnum if you will. He held court on stage all morning in the hours leading up to the hot dog eating contest, which was actually a small part of a larger circus, albeit the culmination everyone came to see.

After it was all over, leftover Nathan's hot dogs were distributed to the hungry masses.

These guys were some of the happy recipients of the free leftover hot dogs passed out after the competition had ended.

Naturally, Megadeath fans love free leftover hot dogs.

If you've ever wondered what the floor of the platform on which the hot dog eating contest is held looks like after the event is over, now you know.

New York City sanitation workers assigned to work Coney Island on July 5th are not to be envied.

After it was all over we met up Tim Janus and some of the other competitors at Ruby's on the boardwalk for drinks. All of them were hoping to have bowel movements soon so that they could get on with their day in comfort. This is what Tim's belly looked like after eating 53 hot dogs, an effort that landed him in 4th place overall.

This young lady was going around collecting autographs on her event pass for her boss, who she said was a "huge fan" of competitive eating. She plans to ask for a raise later in the week.

It was Dewey Hammond, a surely respectable person of whom I know nothing about, that challenged Chestnut to a challenge of devouring drink—specifically a pitcher of beer. For the outcome, you'll have to watch the video. Or just think back to the time when your parents told you there was no Santa Claus. The cold, hollow feelings that follow each are almost the same.

Damn you, Dewey Hammond. Now I have nothing to believe in, once again.

(Thanks to Skeets, who will probably be upset by my singling him out for something besides being Canadian)

Joey Chestnut Beer Chug [Hard For The Yard]

This plea for peace among protesters came before Joey Chestnut broke the world record in asparagus eating. He ate 8.8 pounds of asparagus. If you we were wondering what that smell in your office was, it was Joey Chestnut urinating from 1,000 miles away.

Actually, he shares the blog with fellow competitive eater Pat Bertoletti, and in the above video, he shows off his training regimen. Yes: He fires himself for eating asparagus by listening to Rob Zombie. Who wouldn't?

Generally speaking, we find "insider" stories of how athletes train rather dull; hey, look, he's lifting weights. Ooooh. But a look inside how competitive eaters train? Now that, that we've got some questions about. Though we're not sure we want the answers.

Three Pounds Of Asparagus In Under Three Minutes [Yardbarker]

UK senior Christian "Muscox" McCarthy will be the No. 1 seed in the Collegiate Nationals Eating Championship next Saturday in San Diego, an event that will be carried on the CBS College Sports Network.

The eight competitors will consume plates of "college food," including cheeseburgers, hot dogs and french fries. The rules prohibit dunking, mashing or otherwise mutilating the food — hey, this is college, not middle school.

I'm pretty sure the hot dogs and hamburgers can already be described as "mutilated' long before they reach the competitor's plate. And sorry, mister unnamed story writer, but some of us prefer our buns dunked in keg beer. Come to think of it, why isn't there a beer drinking component in all of this? Nothing draws the line between professional life and college life like binge drinking.

No guts, no glory for these guys

We don't have a Wii, but we almost want to buy one just for this game. (Our love for competitive eating is well documented.) Rare is the game that allows you to ZOOK! all over the table.

Our Visit To The Hot Dog Eating Championships [Deadspin]
'Major League Eating: The Game' Should Do Well With The Obese Fat Guy Demographic [FanIQ]

The only way a corndog could be improved upon, we'd think, would be if they could make it erotic. Sadly, some Iowans disagree.

The erotic corn dog-eating contest at the Iowa State Fair might have to go away. The competition, which is organized by a Des Moines area radio station and tends to draw a raucous and appreciative crowd, is too tasteless, according to at least one fair board member.

After the topic came up Monday during the board's critique of this year's state fair, fair manager Gary Slater said he hasn't seen it himself. "I just heard it was kind of disgusting," Slater said. He quickly added: "It was nothing that was sanctioned by the fair."

Hey, Barack Obama? John Edwards? You guys really want to catch up with Hillary? You're gonna have to win Iowa, which means you have to go by the erotic corndog eating contest. Sure, you might find it beneath your dignity, but politics, it's a tough racket.

Fair Board May Banish Erotic Corndog Eating Contest [Des Moines Register]

Janus says that he prepared for the competition by "eating a lot of candy." He is 28 years old, a bachelor, and makes his living as a day trader. Here's some other information from the International Federation Of Competitive Eating web site:

The rookie, who burst onto the scene at the Freirich corned beef and cabbage championship in March 2004, has advanced quickly, taking his lumps and learning from the veterans. He has established himself as an efficient and determined eater during his freshman year, tying the great Cookie Jarvis for fourth place at the National Buffalo Wing Festival and placing second to Badlands Booker in cheesecake and cannoli.

And by the way, if having a poster of the great Cookie Jarvis on your bedroom wall is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Gentlemen (And Ladies), Start Your Burritos [Deadspin]
Eater X Wins World Burrito Eating Championship [ABC7]
International Federation Of Competitive Eating

Sonya Thomas of Virginia — who is known in the world of competitive eating as the Black Widow — returns to Maine for the Costa Vida World Burrito Eating Championship after setting the 2005 lobster-eating record in Kennebunk, where she polished off 44 in 12 minutes. Her competitors include Tim "Eater X" Janus of New York, fresh from a Sept. 1 tamale-eating victory in Texas; and Chip "Burger'' Simpson of Alabama, Tim "Gravy" Brown of Chicago and Jason "Crazy Legs" Conti of New York.

It's clear that in a contest such as this, the ... wait, what? Did they say "Crazy Legs?"

Of course on the romantic side, how can one resist a woman who is known as the Black Widow, and who set the 2005 lobster-eating record in Kennebunk? After all, I'm not made of stone.

As always, mothers with infants wrapped tightly in white blankets are encouraged not to attend.

Burrito Battle - Professional Eaters Take On Costa Vida's Big Kahuna [Keep Me Current]

It was a full day, and we were there at 8 a.m. to document all the madness. After the jump, the tale of our immersion into the world of moist sausage.

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When we showed up at 8 a.m., we were surprised by the number of people already crammed against the gates for front-row seats. As far as "media" there, so far, it was only us and the lonely ESPN broadcaster, who looked a bit bewildered by all the festivities. He kept asking the CEO of Nathan's questions like, "Wait ... how many people are you expecting at this thing?" and "Do they really have to eat the vomit, if it comes to that?" We're fully expecting to see Theismann assigned to this in a few years.

Thirty seconds after this picture was taken, these headphones pinched us, propelling us forward and into the air.

The Fourth Of July must be the worst day of the year for Big Al's Chicago Hot Dog King, which is located directly across the street from Nathan's. We doubt the owner even bothered to come into work yesterday. Instead, he just sat at home, rocking back and forth, clicking the lamp on ... and off ... and on ... and off ...

After talking to a few early arrivals, most of whom were stoned college students we think were still up from the night before, we decided to go check out the least welcome people in Coney Island yesterday: The vegetarian protesters! They were not amused by our question, in our strained Harry Caray voice: "If you were a veggie hot dog, would it be OK to eat yourself?" We would have pushed it, but that guy in the pig mask had a hatchet. Later, some lady dressed up like a green bean had a scuffle with a meat eater in the crowd; someone tried to steal her sign, and she responded with a firm elbow to the ribs. Because she doesn't eat meat, though, her elbow shattered.

Realizing that showing up four hours early to a hot dog eating contest in which we already had reserved seating was a bit of a waste of time — though we bet we gave away about 10 cigarettes to the stoned college kids — we figured we'd at least taste the local merchandise. We'd forgotten how huge Nathan's hot dogs really are; even for hot dogs, they're massive. We ate this as fast as we could, though; it took us 36 seconds. We then couldn't walk for about 10 minutes. We're still having fissures today.

Around 10 a.m., with more crowd rolling in, the pregame festivities began. This was our first hot dog eating contest, and we were curious what kind of acts open for such a spectacle. It turned out to be "Reese." Reese is this pseudo-Lenny Kravitz wannabe who proudly introduced himself as "the guy who wrote the official team song for the 2007-08 New York Knicks." Now THERE'S something to put on your resume. Reese had unflagging enthusiasm — "Ya'll ready to see some hot dogs eaten up in here?!" — but the crowd wasn't into his signature brand of the worst parts of rap, soul and light rock. To either his credit or his detriment, Reese didn't waver when the only being listening to his pleas to "clap along with this one, ya'll" was a large furry hot dog mascot. You see that dog at all the clubs in New York; such a slut, and always fucking high.

We found ourselves distracted instead by this sign; Big Ben would be so proud, were he not busy bouncing his head off something.

Harold never listened when his friends told him that moving to New York City without a job was a mistake, that he was following his heart more than his head. But he knew the Big Apple was where he belonged. He'd show them; if he could make it there, he could make it anywhere. The city was just teeming with opportunity, wherever he looked, and if he kept his nose clean and his head down, worked his ass off and connected with the right people, the perfect job would just fall in his lap. Take that, Oak Lawn High School, Class of 1988. Who's laughing now?

We were treated to one last musical act; the band is The Gaskets, and we are not overstating a bit when we say that we have seen the future of rock and roll, and its name is The Gaskets. Two indulgent hipsters, a synthesizer, some Funkmaster dance moves and songs called "Cold Busted" — about your girlfriend (or mom) catching you masturbating — and "The High Five Song." We found these guys compulsively entertaining, but we might have been the only people in on the joke; the impatient crowd looked ready to dunk this skinny lead singer in water, shove him down their throats and then vomit him back up. But we're seriously fans. We can't quite do their set justice, so we will no longer try.

Then it was time for the great George Shea. One of the top dogs of The International Federation Of Competitive Eating, Shea is a true link to what makes Coney Island great: Unabashed hucksterism — Ufford from With Leather, who was out in the crowd, texted us to mention that he "would absolutely buy a monorail from this man" — rat-a-tat vocal cleverness and a showman's spirit. We couldn't possibly have found him more entertaining; he's the best part of seeing the event in person. The best part was his individual competitors introductions ...

... in which he wrote wonderfully literate and hilarious intros for each of the competitors. (There was an extended riff on the nature of man, hell and the inexorable winding of time while introducing the competitor who is a vegetarian except for when he competes in eating competitions. This makes complete sense to us, by the way; by the time he sees a hot dog, he probably can't help but eat 40.) Shea always introduced former champion Michael Devito, who announced the charitable contribution of 10,000 hot dogs to City Harvest. Unfortunately, the kids have to eat them in an hour.

Our favorite intro belonged to this guy, who was carrying a sign that said, "Hermoine Dies," in reference to all the speculation about the upcoming "Harry Potter" book. If he's right, we're gonna hunt him down and strangle him.

After a rousing, "America ... Fuck Yeah!" intro for Joey Chestnut, the real man of mystery arrived: Takeru Kobayashi, who we were informed was receiving acupuncture for his jaw just that morning. The man looked more confident than we were expecting. The stage was set. The competitors were at their stations. The hot dogs were placed on the table. The rousing intros had finished, and completely fired the crowd up.

And it really was a huge crowd, too. It was listed at more than 30,000, and that sounds about right. That's more people that have attended a Buzzsaw game in decades. (Unless they were playing the Cowboys, of course.)

Even though we could have done without the Thunderstix, it was a frenzied atmosphere. We never thought 30,000 people could be shrieking for such gluttony, but we will confess to being entirely swept in it. And then, with a flourish, Shea announced ...

... that this was just a fake intro, that the contest wouldn't be starting for another 45 minutes. Why? Well, ESPN, of course: now that they telecast it, they're in charge of the whole event, and they had to run 40 minutes of prepackaged bunk. So Shea sent all the competitors backstage, and the crowd was stuck with a massive collective case of blue balls. Shea tried to rev the momentum back up, with former champ Eric Booker rapping, and the Bunettes dance troupe lamely trying to look interested in a Gwen Stefani song, but it was clear he was just filling time. He even brought out ...

... the clogging group "Clogtastic." We appreciated the nod to Coney Island novelty acts, but, seriously, could we please get going? (Only these guys would have the intestinal fortitude to put on clog dancers 20 minutes before the biggest event of their year.) Shea was then trotted back outstage again, whispering not-quite-off-mike, "Hey, is ESPN freaking ready yet, or not?" and still trying to bridge the time gap. The crowd, restless, began to lightly boo, and it was clear this pained him. What was once a perfectly constructed event, with its own natural rhythm, now has the normal starts-and-stops caused by Lord God Television. He couldn't help himself, quietly grousing about ESPN several times. We're sure the television coverage is worth it in the long term, but it clearly hurt.

At last, we were off. If you saw it on television, you know it was gullet-to-gullet almost the entire way, but watching it in person really makes you realize just how much it puts someone through to do this to themselves. It was clear, though, that Chestnut was better, try as Kobayashi might to catch up.

Meanwhile, we sat next to this guy, Ed "Cookie" Jarvis. As much as we respect a guy who has a jacket made up entirely of a listing of his competitive eating achievements ... well, we wonder if this is the only day he wears this.

We came to the final madness at the end, when Kobayashi had his "reversal." ESPN might not show this to you again, but we'll give you this closeup, because we here at Deadspin always give you what you want.

There seemed to be some confusion after it was over about who had won, though it seemed pretty clear Chestnut was at least a dog ahead. We don't understand, however, how he suddenly was credited with three more hot dogs by the judges. We've yet to receive a coherent explanation for this, and we'd explore it further, but you know what? We don't really care all that much.

And thus, was a new champion crowned, a champion for America. We have reasserted our status as the world's Champion Of Gluttony. The universe is back in order. We had the opportunity to interview the competitors afterwards, but we demurred; we weren't sure exactly what to ask them. So, uh ... shit, man, that's a lot of freaking hot dogs you just ate. I mean, Christ.

We fought our way through the crowd to Nathan's afterwards, and, much to our surprise, the lines for hot dogs there were immense. We can't imagine why watching such a contest would inspire someone to immediately eat a Nathan's hot dog, but hey: What do we know? Besides, we had other things to do.

Because at the end of the day, the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Championships are all about making new friends. You should really see what happens when the mustard gets drunk.

Full 2007 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Championship Photo Gallery [Flickr]

San Jose Student Beats Hot Dog Eating Champ [San Francisco Chronicle]

As you pore over the tale of the tape and analyze the weigh-in numbers, we remind you what is on the line. Kobayashi has never been defeated since revolutionizing the sport in 2001 by eating 50 hot dogs. His record came last year, when he put down 53 3/4 in 12 minutes; you don't want to know what happened to that last fourth. But American Joey Chestnut, one month ago, broke his all-time record with 59 1/2. But he didn't do it on the biggest stage. And now Kobayashi has jaw problems. It's the biggest day in the history of competitive eating, and we're typing that with an entirely straight face.

And we couldn't be more excited, because we're going to be there. We'll be heading down to Coney Island for the big event, our first in-person viewing, and we can't wait. We're taking tomorrow off here at the site, but we'll be back Thursday with a full, glorious report. Our money remains on Kobayashi; as a wise man once said, to be the man, you have to beat the man.

See you Thursday.

He also scoffs at reports that his recent jaw ailment is some kind of a psych-out maneuver.

"That's not even funny," Mr. Kobayashi said. "I don't even have time to think about that."

Not EVEN funny. I'm not sure how Kobayashi's been treating his bum jaw. Most rehab and sports medicine centers do not have competitive-eating jaw-ailment specialists, but maybe he went to see Ron Jeremy. I've seen that guy successfully loosen up the jaws of hundred and hundreds of people.

Life as an underdog: Champion eater plans to compete here despite jaw ailment [Times Free Press]

In an entry on his blog entitled "Occupational hazard," Kobayashi said: "My jaw refused to fight any more." The injury occurred only a week after the slender 29-year-old started training to win his seventh straight title at the annual July 4 Nathan's Famous hot dog eating event on New York's Coney Island.

"I feel ashamed that I couldn't notice the alarm bells set off by my own body," he said. "But with the goal to win another title with a new record, I couldn't stop my training so close to the competition."

We suspect he's hearing the Joey Chestnut footsteps a little bit, or at least the gnashing of his teeth and the rumbling of stomach acid. We had initially planned on attending the contest this year; this just became considerably less likely. To quote Alvy Singer, "I think I'm starting to get some feeling back in my jaw."

Well, My July 4 Is Now Ruined [Gheorghe: The Blog]

(UPDATE: There's a chance he'll make it after all!

Well, last week American Joey Chestnut broke Kobayashi's all-time record, and with the Nathan's competition coming up July 4, amazingly, Kobayashi isn't the favorite to win this time. And that's if he even shows up.

"Kobayashi's mother died in March and he's currently taking a sabbatical. He's not even in training," the hot dog eating champion's manager tells Shukan Gendai. "I haven't heard a word from him about whether he's going to take part in the July contest and there's no way that I know to get in touch with him."

It would be a true end of an era: We hope Kobayashi has it in him to haul out to Coney Island one last time.

And yes: This is how we're dealing with the dullness of the NBA Finals.

Betting Odds On Hot Dog Eating Contest [Point Spreads]
The Champions Of Consumption [The Black Table]

LeBron James wasn't the only world-class athlete who made a significant breakthrough yesterday. Joey Chestnut sucked down 59 and 1/2 hot dogs in 12 minutes, breaking Takeru Kobayashi's previous record of 54 and 1/4. The feat was accomplished, as so many notable athletic feats are, at the Arizona Mills Mall in Tempe.

Kobayashi and Chestnut will go esophagus-to-esophagus at Nathan's Famous 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest. Feel the excitement.

Down Goes Kobayashi! [The Sports Oasis]
Man beats world hot dog eating record [Boston Globe]

The effluvia never touched the table. When the hot dog came up, and some of it came out his nose, Kobayashi sucked it back down. To me, that's the testament of a champion and great athlete.

Meanwhile, we have no idea why no one is pursuing the steroids angle. Just look at the following photos of Kobayashi in 2004, and Kobayashi yesterday.

Japanese Hot-Dog Eating Champ Sets Record [MSNBC]
Controversy Dogs Eating Contest [SF Gate]