Yahoo's Time Capsule Project begins today, in which people from around the world are encouraged "to submit text, images and video that reflect human nature" to be included in a message that will be beamed into space. So that the world of sports isn't left out, we are submitting the video above, which is somewhat old, but will be new to the aliens. It should give them a pretty good idea of what we're all about here.

Beginning today, Mexico's Teotihuacan, once the center of a sprawling pre-Hispanic empire, is set to become the launch pad for an attempt to communicate with extraterrestrial life. "We have this incredible ancient site and from that site we can project contemporary content," Srinija Srinivasan, Yahoo's editor in chief, told Reuters. "What is new is the ability to capture this information in such scale."

We'd like to wish Yahoo! luck with sorting through all the entries, which we're sure will include this, and of course this. And we think that this needs to be sent into space as well. If our quantum calculations are correct, our descendents should expect a counter-attack by the year 3015.

Time Capsule To Be Beamed From Mexican Pyramid [Reuters]
The Happy Italian Vegetarian Lawyer Genius Elf [Deadspin.com]
Embrace Me, My Sweet Inflatable You [Deadspin]

So remember the Bubba Bobble Challenge Sex Doll Races tournament, in which the guy was disqualified for — get THIS! — having sex with his "raft?"

Well, it turns out, there is video of this spectacle, and it's embedded above. That is to say, there's video of the race, not of the guy breaking all the rules. We can't imagine, watching this video, how he could have possible been confused about the regulations. He spoiled a perfectly normal and typical water race, after all.

Embrace Me, My Sweet Inflatable You [Deadspin]

At a juries' command participants jumped into the water. Strong wind and flow snatched out resilient dolls from strong men's hands, and only Igor Osipov, 40, resolutely approached to the finish. The jury then noticed Osipov's strange position and told him to moor. When he came out of the water, gazers saw signs of recent sexual activity on the swimmer's doll. The jury found the swimmer guilty of sexual abuse of the apparatus and disqualified him.

In our opinion, Last of the Mohicans would have been a much stronger book if they had used inflatable sex dolls instead of canoes.

Participant Of Sex Dolls Rafting Tournament Disqualified For Sexual Abuse Of Apparatus [MosNews]

(UPDATE: Wikipedia's sex doll entry is some mighty interesting reading indeed).