For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history.

As we've seen again and again (and again), the London Organising Committee of the Olympic and Paralympic Games (LOCOG) protects Olympic sponsors with the ferocity of a mother bear protecting its cubs. That extends to condoms: when Australian BMXer Caroline Buchanan tweeted this picture of "a bucket of unauthorized…

Looking very much like Leslie Nielsen did in that Naked Gun scene when he thrusts a giant Johnny over his head to do the nasty with Elvis's ex, here's a Thai official holding up his Durex-sponsored extra-time board.

The bad news: used condoms are clogging toilets and pipes at the Commonwealth Games in Delhi. The good news, according to the organizers: At least people are having safe sex. [Reuters]

The North Central College freshman lured out campus security with a fake call for a female needing an escort, and ambushed the officer with two condoms filled with vomit. I think I saw something similar in a Japanese porno once. [Daily Herald]

Vancouver's Olympic Village is short on condoms and an emergency supply has been shipped to the sex-crazed colony to ensure that each and every athlete is safe from STDs throughout the rest of their stay.

Somewhat making good on a threat he made during the filming of HBO's Hard Knocks, Chad Ochocinco posted a mockup of what a package of Ocho Cinco Condoms might look like. Are they made out of pigskin? [Black Sports Online]