1 UCLA vs. 16 Mississippi Valley State (Anaheim)
If the 16 over 1 is ever going to happen this would be the most shocking one possible as the Delta Devils boast a 17-15 overall record and five 30-plus point losses to teams that either reached the dance or just missed. That includes a 71-26 point drubbing in Pullman to Washington State, a team the Bruins beat twice this season in the Pac-10.
The Pick: UCLA

8 BYU vs. 9 Texas A&M (Anaheim)
The player to see here is BYU big man Trent Plaisted. He's shown this year he can get the job done against prime competition, averaging a double-double against this year's field (MSU, L'Ville, and UNC). On the other side it's a bit of a tossup as the Aggies still lack the go-to threat they lost when Acie Law graduated after last season. Donald Sloan tries to fill the role, but his inability to do so has been a big part of the Aggies' inconsistency as a whole. If he's not hitting from the perimeter, the Cougar defense will key inside and make it almost impossible for A&M to win.
The Pick: BYU

5 Drake vs. 12 Western Kentucky (Tampa)
The Hilltoppers can play with anyone. Courtney Lee is one of the nation's top seniors and he can do it all, be it shoot from outside, rebound, or break down the defense off the dribble and get to the rim. The team as a whole can score in bunches, but it's that all-too-necessary defense that seems to get in the way. I think most people know what Drake can do at this point. They're one of the country's best three-point shooting squads, yet their most valuable player - Adam Emmenecker - attempted only two all season (he missed them both). He's a bit of a poor man's Steve Nash, as he makes the engine go while Josh Young and Jonathan Cox light up the scoreboard. WKU can certainly beat Drake if their shots aren't falling, but I think the Bulldogs will be ready to play.
The Pick: Drake

4 Connecticut vs. 13 San Diego (Tampa)
If you're searching hard for that upset special out west this may be the one. The Toreros' Brandon Johnson is a do-it-all guard who handles the ball at all times and possesses a smooth stroke from all over the court. The problem is a lack of consistent help as Freshmen Rob Jones and Trumaine Johnson aren't ready for prime time just yet, a fact that makes their WCC Tourney win that much more impressive. UConn has an enormous defensive presence in supreme shot blocker Hasheem Thabeet alongside Jeff Adrien. A.J. Price has been fantastic running the point. Add to that a continuously improving Stanley Robinson and San Diego looks like a real long shot. But hey, it's a shot.
The Pick: UConn

6 Purdue vs. 11 Baylor (Washington D.C.)
Despite their success this year in the sloth-styled Big Ten, many don't seem to think Purdue is a real threat to make some noise this year. Part of that is the four freshmen they rely heavily on to get the job done. In addition, none of their players jump out at you defensively. They're a polar opposite to their opponent across the board. While certainly not tourney experienced, the Bears (last appeared in 1988) start four juniors including work horse guard Curtis Jerrells. Jerrells can score with the best guards in the country and he's got super frosh LaceDarius Dunn to help out off the bench. Factor in the pair of seven-footers the Bears rotate and the defense starts to look good as well. It's a very balanced squad that goes 10 deep and relies heavily on upperclassmen. Hmm... smells like an upset doesn't it?
The Pick: Baylor

3 Xavier vs. 14 Georgia (Washington D.C.)
As fun as Georgia's run through the SEC tourney was to watch, I'm not sure it'll translate to the big dance with Xavier sitting on the other bench. The Musketeers are loaded and just about everyone can shoot the three and play in your face defense. The big question is the teams engine Drew Lavender, who's been slowed by injury recently. Leading to a pair of losses to St. Joe's over the last week, but all indications point to the semifinal tourney loss being a good thing, as it gave him time to rest. If he's good to go I have little reservation about Xavier reaching the Elite 8. Remember this team gave Ohio State their toughest test of the tournament last season and they're even better this year. Stanley Burrell, the teams best defender, should give Georgia's top player Sundiata Gaines fits all day and with Gaines' tendency to force shots it doesn't look good. All that said I think this could be a tougher game for Xavier than the possible Duke match up, despite Georgia's 4 SEC regular season wins.
The Pick: Xavier

7 West Virginia vs. 10 Arizona (Washington D.C.)
While Arizona's final profile doesn't look overly spectacular they can get the job done on both ends of the floor. In large part due to the defensive emphasis interim coach Kevin O'Neil has brought to the team. Their also tested as they played the nations 2nd toughest schedule. Nearly knocking off UCLA, Memphis and Kansas (in Lawrence) this season. The biggest of their offensive cogs is freshman Jerryd Bayless who may finally get the national recognition he deserves if the 'Cats can advance. He's dropped thirty multiple times this season and looks a lot like Arizona alums Gilbert Arenas and Mike Bibby (more Bibby). With West Virginia it all starts and ends with Joe Alexander. If he gets hot their may not be anyone in the country who can slow down the versatile big man. If he can't get going though it could be a long afternoon for West Virginia as they lack a second option as strong as Arizona's Chase Budinger. All in all it looks like the definition of a pick 'em.
The Pick: Arizona

2 Duke vs. 15 Belmont (Washington D.C.)
Belmont does one thing well and that's shoot, but so Duke and they have a solid frontcourt that Belmont can't compete with. If Belmont to pull the upset they'll need a shoot day for the ages and with Duke's defense I just don't think it happens. But expect Duke to have all kinds of trouble with teams like Xavier and Arizona should they advance as the Blue Devils struggle quite a bit against athletic point guards.
The Pick: Duke

Some West Region Superlatives...

Dark Horse for Final Four: Xavier
Dark Horse for Sweet 16: Arizona
Best First Round Upset: Baylor over Purdue
Best Opening Round Game: Arizona-West Virginia
Best Potential Game: UCLA-Xavier
Round of 32: UCLA over BYU, Drake over UCONN, Xavier over Baylor, Duke over Arizona
Sweet 16: UCLA over Drake, Xavier over Duke
Elite Eight: UCLA over Xavier
Regional Champ: UCLA

CONNECTICUT HUSKIES

1. Our Little Baby's All Growns Up! Since the Huskies won their second national championship in 2004, UConn fans haven't had that much to cheer about. In 2004-05, the Huskies couldn't rebound from the loss of Emeka Okafor and Ben Gordon, sleepwalked through the season and got knocked out by NC State in the second round of the NCAAs. In the 2005-06 Elite Eight, despite a rotation featuring five future NBA draft picks, UConn played the role of Michigan to George Mason's Appalachian State. Last season, after a mass exodus to the NBA, UConn was the youngest team in the country (its roster included five sophomores, eight freshmen and zero upperclassmen), and it showed; the team lost 11 out of its last 15 games and didn't even garner an NIT bid despite winning 17 games. Without any significant changes to the roster, fans were not optimistic that this season would be much different, and this skepticism appeared to be justified by several close early-season losses to ranked teams. But following a loss to Providence on January 17, the young Huskies matured overnight, and proceeded to knock off 10 straight opponents, often in dramatic fashion. Interestingly, eight of those wins came after the program suspended guards Jerome Dyson and Doug Wiggins. (Dyson, who led the team in scoring — and apparently was a big fan of Funyuns and the movie Friday — at the time of his suspension, has struggled since returning in late February.) The team has benefited from the major improvement of 6'2" point guard AJ Price, whose career did not begin until last season after being initially delayed by a brain hemorrhage and then a brain fart (he was involved in a laptop theft). Price has raised his game this year, averaging 15 points and six assists per game. Other standouts include 6'6" junior bruiser Jeff Adrien (15 points and nine rebounds per game) and the Tanzanian Devil, 7'3" sophomore center Hasheem Thabeet (10 points, 8 rebounds and 4.5 blocks per game). Price and Adrien were named to the All-Big East First Team and Thabeet was voted the conference's Defensive Player of the Year.

2. Ain't No Party Like A Block Party. Thanks to Thabeet (as well as Adrien and mercurial 6'9" forward Stanley Robinson), UConn leads the nation in blocks per game (8.8), which the team has now done for seven consecutive seasons. UConn's shot-blocking prowess began with the arrival of Okafor in 2001. In Okafor's three seasons as a Husky, UConn averaged 6.9 blocks in 2001-02, 7.5 in 2002-03, and 8.1 in 2003-04. With an increased emphasis on shot-blocking, the team actually swatted more shots without Okafor, averaging 8.9 blocks in 2004-05 (led by Boone, Gay, Villanueva and Armstrong) and 8.8 in 2005-06 (same crew minus Villanueva). Last season, Thabeet's first as a Husky, UConn averaged 8.6 blocks per game. Due in no small part to its shot-blocking, UConn is holding opponents to 38 percent shooting.

3. You're not the run-of-the-mill kind of asshole, are you, Jimmy? You're a special kind of asshole. UConn's Hall-of-Fame coach Jim Calhoun speaks with a Masshole accent thicker than clam chowder, swears like Bunk Moreland after a long night at Kavanaugh's and has a quicker hook with his players than the clown at the Apollo on Amateur Night. A Lady Byng Trophy winner he's not. But there's one thing he does better than any other college coach in America: develop NBA players. Indeed, UConn has thirteen graduates...er...former players in the NBA — more than any other college program. It's an impressive list: Ray Allen (Celtics), Hilton Armstrong (Hornets), Josh Boone (Nets), Caron Butler (Wizards), Rudy Gay (Grizzlies), Ben Gordon (Bulls), Richard Hamilton (Pistons), Donyell Marshall (Sonics), Emeka Okafor (Bobcats), Kevin Ollie (Sixers), Charlie Villanueva (Bucks), Jake Voskuhl (Bucks), and Marcus Williams (Nets). Calhoun also happens to be a perfect 4-0 in Final Four games and, by virtue of out-coaching Mike Krzyzewski twice in those four games and thus denying Duke two additional national titles, on his deathbed will receive total consciousness. So he's got that going for him, which is nice. — Josh Blosveren

SAN DIEGO TOREROS

1. Taming The Bulldogs. The Toreros may be the least likely team to make the tournament, until you factor in their coach. The big reason is that few expected them to be able to get past Gonzaga in the conference tournament; the Bulldogs having beaten them 13 times in a row. But San Diego is coached by Bill Grier, in his first year with the Toreros after having spent the previous 16 seasons as an assistant at Gonzaga. The Toreros, a No. 13 seed, will meet No. 4 seed UConn in the West Regional; the first time ever that the schools have played each other.

2. Kirstie Alley Approves. The Toreros play in Jenny Craig Pavilion, named for the weight-loss magnate who donated $7 million to build the facility in 1996. It was dedicated in Oct., 2000, and is known to students as the Slim Gym. Jenny Craig Inc. is based in nearby La Jolla, CA. Ironically, the university is also home to the Joan B. Kroc School of Peace Studies, named for the wife of McDonald's founder Ray Kroc, who has foiled many diets.

3. Seeing Red. No one is going to be able to push around the Toreros; they have one of the heaviest rosters in the tournament. They have six players who weigh in excess of 220 pounds, including freshmen Rob Jones and Josh Miller (both 230), junior forward Gyno Pomare (240) and 6-foot-10 freshman center Nathan Lozeau (280) ... Jones played at Archbishop Riordan in San Francisco, whose league nemesis is Serra High, which produced Tom Brady, Lynn Swann and Barry Bonds ... a Torero is a bullfighter; not exactly a politically correct nickname for a university these days. — Rick Chandler

Join The Deadspin Pool.
Download The Deadspin Printable Bracket. (PDF)

2. Ain't No Party Like A Block Party. Thanks to Thabeet (as well as Adrien and mercurial 6'9" forward Stanley Robinson), UConn leads the nation in blocks per game (8.8), which the team has now done for seven consecutive seasons. UConn's shot-blocking prowess began with the arrival of Okafor in 2001. In Okafor's three seasons as a Husky, UConn averaged 6.9 blocks in 2001-02, 7.5 in 2002-03, and 8.1 in 2003-04. With an increased emphasis on shot-blocking, the team actually swatted more shots without Okafor, averaging 8.9 blocks in 2004-05 (led by Boone, Gay, Villanueva and Armstrong) and 8.8 in 2005-06 (same crew minus Villanueva). Last season, Thabeet's first as a Husky, UConn averaged 8.6 blocks per game. Due in no small part to its shot-blocking, UConn is holding opponents to 38 percent shooting.

3. You're not the run-of-the-mill kind of asshole, are you, Jimmy? You're a special kind of asshole. UConn's Hall-of-Fame coach Jim Calhoun speaks with a Masshole accent thicker than clam chowder, swears like Bunk Moreland after a long night at Kavanaugh's and has a quicker hook with his players than the clown at the Apollo on Amateur Night. A Lady Byng Trophy winner he's not. But there's one thing he does better than any other college coach in America: develop NBA players. Indeed, UConn has thirteen graduates...er...former players in the NBA — more than any other college program. It's an impressive list: Ray Allen (Celtics), Hilton Armstrong (Hornets), Josh Boone (Nets), Caron Butler (Wizards), Rudy Gay (Grizzlies), Ben Gordon (Bulls), Richard Hamilton (Pistons), Donyell Marshall (Sonics), Emeka Okafor (Bobcats), Kevin Ollie (Sixers), Charlie Villanueva (Bucks), Jake Voskuhl (Bucks), and Marcus Williams (Nets). Calhoun also happens to be a perfect 4-0 in Final Four games and, by virtue of out-coaching Mike Krzyzewski twice in those four games and thus denying Duke two additional national titles, on his deathbed will receive total consciousness. So he's got that going for him, which is nice. — Josh Blosveren

Maya Moore, the Connecticut women's hoops guard who had been heavily recruited by rival Tennessee, apparently received the Bristol tour on request of Huskies coach Geno Auriemma. After choosing Connecticut, Tennessee coach Pat Summitt complained, saying the tour was an unfair benefit. The NCAA may be looking into it.

Tennessee also happened to be courting Moore at the time, but lost the star recruit to the school up north(east). So the Lady Vols sent a complaint to the SEC, who then complained to the NCAA.

UConn officials said they haven't received any notice of penalties, while the NCAA has refused comment. But the Worldwide Leader has responded by changing their tour request policies.

We find it difficult to blame either ESPN or UConn for this; those on-set visits to WBIR in Knoxville just don't have the same pizzazz as watching people apply makeup to Neil Everett. Hell, we'd sign a letter of intent for considerably less.

ESPN Tours Can Lead To NCAA Violations [Sports By Brooks]

Seeking to motivate his players, the UConn coach posted the Big East standings and the team's remaining schedule for his players to read. The Huskies then went out and whomped Marquette 89-73. The game wasn't nearly as close as the final score suggested too, with Connecticut grabbing a 29-point lead midway through the second half. So was UConn's win just a case of A.J. Price (17 points, eight assists) and Hasheem Thabeet (15 points, seven rebounds, six blocks) finally playing up to their potential, or did the UConn players need a newsroom intern to toss up a few stats? The future of college basketball coaches and J-school students hangs in the balance.

MAC Attack! The two 0-3 teams in the conference waged a mortal battle, before Miami (OH) topped Buffalo 64-57. Kenny Hayes scored 20 points to lead the RedHawks, who held the Bulls to 35% shooting. Still, Miami (OH)'s record stands at 7-8, with a few strong defensive performances mixed in among a bunch of stinkers, especially since the start of the MAC season. Earlier this year, the Redhawks needed to keep themselves afloat with a road win against a Big-10 school. Of course when that school is Illinois, you're going to get well.

...I am so fired. (Ed. Note: We'll let it go, as long as your next note isn't about how good Indiana is playing. Wait ... GRRRR.)

Three Cubed. That's the number Indiana's home winning streak reached with the Hoosiers' 81-65 win over Penn State. The Hoosiers ran their record to 16-1, with a 5-0 mark in the Big 10. They led by only three at halftime, before Eric Gordon (25 points) and D.J. White (22 points) sealed the deal for Indiana. IU coach Kelvin Sampson rolled out an interesting strategy in the second half, playing the same five players for all 20 minutes. Sampson's plans for today: Have Gordon pick up his dry cleaning, White's washing the car, Lance Stemler and Armon Bassett will be chopping wood for 12 hours and Jamarcus Ellis is on drywall detail.

Predictions. My first 0-for-3 skunk job! I picked Holy Cross over Bucknell by two, USC to hang in there against UCLA before losing by eight, and Louisville over Seton Hall by 13. Bucknell dropped the Crusaders to 0-3 in Patriot League play with a 73-65 win. The Trojans, the most unpredictable team in college basketball given their combination of all-world talent, inexperience and erratic play, knocked off the Bruins 72-63.

But the weirdest game of the three had to be Seton Hall's 92-82 win over Louisville. Midway through the first half, The Hall (as the Pirates are known on the Prudential Center scoreboard) looked awful early on, clanking threes and looking lost on offense. But The Hall eventually got hot, riding a career-high eight threes by Jeremy Hazell to a huge comeback win. The Pirate players celebrated like they'd just won the national championship, which says a lot about Seton Hall, given it was a win over an unranked team in January. Of course no one celebrated more than Saturday night's Pants Party attendees, the group collectively going nuts as if we were all Seton Hall grads. Good times all around.

No. 5 Georgetown 73, Syracuse 67. It's been a while since both teams were at the height of their powers and Syracuse fans pelted the backboard with oranges while Georgetown players shot free throws. The Hoyas' experience and polished approach should be enough to take down the talented but erratic Orangemen.

Record: 8-8
Results within five points: 1-15

While I know my mustache could stand to drop a few pounds, it wasn't until this weekend that I realized I should be a contestant on "The Biggest Loser." After all, everyone I rooted for — UConn, Arsenal, Ricky Hatton, Lute Olsen's wife — looked worse than Amy Winehouse on your average Sunday morning. And I didn't look all that frisky either when I stumbled into Kinsale at 8 a.m., my beehive resembling a fallen souffle, as I sought to erase the pain of the previous day and raise a few dozen pints to the last unbeaten team in the Premiership.

Sadly, I didn' t get to revel in the joy of watching Liverpool's unblemished record swirl down the toilet on Saturday because I was driving three hours to Storrs, Connecticut to see my Israeli cousin Dori Arad lead top ranked UConn past Virginia Tech in the NCAA quarterfinals. At least, that was the plan.

So hellbent was UConn on reaching the Final Four for the first time since they won the title in 2000 that everyone on campus with the possible exception of Jim Calhoun was shoveling snow off the field until 2 a.m. Even so, the field on Saturday could not have been slicker if the Exxon Valdez oil spill had just occurred there. Suffice it to say that these were not conditions conducive to the kind of turbo-charged, one-touch soccer that UConn's skilled foreign players favor. Maybe I should have taken this as a sign from the Soccer Gods that this would not be a good weekend for fans of "sexy football," but I was too consumed with trying to feel my toes in the tundra of the stadium where I was sitting.

It was hard to miss my section because someone had brought along a huge Israeli flag in honor of my cousin, but after 20 minutes of watching the Huskies slippin' and slidin' in the slop , the banner that I wanted to unfurl would have read "Change Your Fuckin' Cleats, Will Ya?" I also felt like shouting "Does Anyone Have An Extra Flask I Can Borrow?" when the wind started bitch-slapping me in the face, but I didn't want to embarrass my family any more than I already had . Meanwhile the quagmire on the field reminded me of a mud-wrestling match between these two naked ladies I once witnessed in a bar on Bourbon Street after Chris Webber had cost me $100 when he called that imaginary timeout in the Fab Five's meltdown against Carolina in the NCAA final. What can I say? You thought soccer was the only sport I cared about.

My reverie was interrupted around the 20-minute mark when Virginia Tech's Ghanian All-America forward Patrick Nyarko beat UConn goalie Josh Ford to the ball in the Huskie's penalty area and poked it past him to give the Hokies a 1-0 lead. Not that anyone in the overflow crowd of nearly 5,500 seemed alarmed.

After all, wasn't UConn well nigh invincible at home, and didn't they boast the nation's leading goalscorer in Jamaican international O'Brien White, the leading defender in Trinidad international Julius James and the leading assist maker in New Jersey international Mike Pezza? Surely, it was only a matter of time — or new shoes — til their superior talent would break down the Hokies just like it did their 17 previous opponents at Morrone Stadium. So it was no surprise in the second half that UConn laid siege to the Virginia Tech goal. Three times, White broke free of his double-team and looked like he would score, but each time he was fractionally off. "On a dry field, " said my cousin Dori, "OB buries at least one of those chances."

Not that Dori was making excuses; he pointed out "the field was the same for both teams." The difference was that the Hokies built a fortress of 10 men around their goal and dared the Huskies to pass their way through it. After winning 20 games and the No. 1 ranking in the country with their pretty ball skills, the Huskies knew no other way to play. Not for them, ugly long balls hoofed into the penalty area in the hope that a forward would latch onto one. Not for them, it turned out, the NCAA Final Four. And not for me, the thrill of doing a victory hora with my cousin.

Instead, I had another three-hour drive back to NYC in order to drink as much as I could at Kinsale before passing out during the prelims of the Mayweather-Hatton fight. Like every other footy fan in the bar, I was in Hatton's corner and was so sure that the Thinking Man's Wayne Rooney, as I like to call him, would make Pretty Boy see stars instead of dancing with them that I ignored Unsilent's sage advice and put a few quid on the Hitman. At least, that was the plan. As it turned out, I managed to stay upright longer than Hatton who went down in the 10th almost as fast as Ronaldo did in the box against Derby.

Thank God, I knew my weekend would be redeemed the next morning when the Arsenal juggernaut, so laden with young talent that it had not lost once in the Prem all season and was four points clear at the top would roll over Championship-bound Middlesborough like a fresh piece of roadkill. At least, that was the fuckin' plan, and the less said the better. As my fellow Gooner Rajah said, flailing for an explanation, "maybe they all stayed up 'til 4 a.m. watching the Hatton fight."

Or maybe, like UConn, the Hitman, and Lute Olsen's wife, they're not as good as they're cracked up to be.

The University of Connecticut is all flustrated that their fans can't watch their big games with Rutgers and Cincinnati, because Comcast still doesn't have the network.

"The bottom line here is that I fully understand that the University of Connecticut and the University of Connecticut football program is being used by the network to leverage cable companies in our state ... to add ESPNU to their platform," Hathaway said. "We understand that. We know that's what's happening."

Wait, you're just now noticing this? You guys are in Connecticut. Sheesh, isn't Berman governor by now?

UConn To ESPN: You Are Evil [Shakedownsports]

Five players were kicked off the team yesterday apparently for buying two six-packs of beer. (Heineken and Corona, if you're wondering.) One of the players tried to make sense of the matter.

"We were at a gas station and it happened to have beer and someone said, 'Let's get some,'" wide receiver Nollis Dewar said. "There was no plan before like, 'Lets go buy some beer and have a party.' We were walking back to the hotel and [coach Carl Kotz] saw us. We just said we were going back to the room. He asked if we had anything in our bags and we all said no. Then we were in meetings later and he went through our rooms and searched through all our things and he said he found the beer. No one drank it. No one did anything with it. Nothing happened with the alcohol. And I am 21. There was no crime committed at all."

So, to get this straight:

The assistant coach went digging through his players' bags, found two unopened six-packs of beer, purchased by 21-year-olds who didn't even drink them. And they were kicked off the team for it. Again, there might be more to the story than that ... but we can't imagine that could be good for recruiting.

Five UCONN Football Players Kicked Off the Team [Random Thoughts?]

If you answered Ed Nelson, well... I'm sorry to say that you're wrong. Ed Nelson, 6'8" senior forward, has recorded kind of a hick rap song. It's terrible. Just terrible, in every sense, and I think I hate him. You probably souldn't even read this. I'm not sure how old Ed Nelson is, but I'm not ruling out the possibility that Lil' Ronnie is his illegitimate lovechild. But even Ronnie had an excuse, he's a kid. Ed Nelson has no such excuse.

If you don't want to head over to The Bell Parking Lot and download it so you can fully take part in the pain, here's the first verse:

I'm a little bit country, I love to play ball
That's why I got my jersey retired on the wall
So you better have some fear for the rookie of the year
Cuz I had you shook, like you seen a big ol' bear
But in Connecticut, you're likely to see a deer
And I'm the first damn person to knock out a queer
Ain't gonna lie, I know I'm kinda funny
People hang around me, cuz they know I'm worth money
Drive a pick-up truck, and jump higher than a bunny
Back on my ground, I'm the people's champ
So historic, got my own postage stamp
So go ahead, take the voyage to my domain
Not one of y'all gangstas will remain
I'll show you my gramps, his name is Bob
He'll tell ya 'pull up your pants', cuz you look like a slob
Then whack you off the head, with a corn on the cob

So here's what we know about Ed Nelson:

1) He has apparently retired his own jersey
2) He's still living off of his ACC rookie of the year title, despite averaging 3 points in 9 minutes of action this year
3) He's a raging homophobe. If you want to "knock out a queer," he'll beat you to it.
4) He has seen deer.
5) He must have consturcted his own postage stamp with his likeness on it, because I don't recall the United States Postal Service ever issuing one.
6) His grandfather has an unusual method of whacking you off.

#32 Ed Nelson - Pickup Truck [The Bell Parking Lot]
"Talkin' 'Bout 87, My Homey Reggie Wayne" [Deadspin]

The nice thing about George Mason is that it's impossible to overhype them; we will never get sick of George Mason, because we still know nothing about them. Everything is novel, everything is unexpected, everything is exactly what we love about sports. And that they've pulled this off without getting cute is even better; no last-second jumpers, no friendly referees, no lousy games by their opponents. They've just lined up, man-to-man, and kicked ass. Four times now.

Sure, it destroyed everyone's brackets — except for these two weirdos — but this is what we wanted. Aren't you about three times more likely to watch that game that you would have if it's Connecticut vs. Florida?

George Mason Fever. We have caught it. How can you not?

Front Row At The George Mason-UConn Classic [Mr. Irrelevant]

(By the way, that's a picture of a fan taken at the Verizon Center yesterday, saying he was wearing his "Gilly Suit," whatever that means.)

(UPDATE: We're told a Gilly Suit is "sniper camoflage." Perfect for the Verizon Center, we suppose.)

The 11th-seeded Patriots did the impossible, shook up the world, and believed in miracles. They just took down 1-seed UConn en route to becoming the 2nd 11-seed to ever make it to the Final Four. This is what the NCAA tournament is all about. This is what college basketball is all about.

Jai Lewis bricked two free throws at the end of overtime, but got away with it, because UConn ran out of miracles, just missing a three-ball at the buzzer. Just incredible. Cinderella is alive, she is dancing, and she's looking forward to pleasuring you in Indianapolis.

(By the way, comments aren't working, as you may have noticed. All apologies. We're working on it. At least, someone's working on it. It know it's had to be frustrating for you to watch this game and not be able to chime in with a "Fuck UConn" here and there. I sympathize... and I miss you.)

Folarin Campbell, Will Thomas, and Jai Lewis are all in double figures for Mason, and Lamar Butler has 8 points, unfortunately accompanied by three fouls. Josh Boone also has three fouls for UConn.

52-51 Mason. I'm giddy. Let's do it, Patriots.

Jai Lewis is leading the Patriots with 10 points, and Jeff Adrien has the same total for UConn. UConn is 5-of-9 from beyond the arc and they're shooting 55% from the floor. It's also worth noting that Jim Calhoun has kept his whining to a minimum, a stark contrast to Friday night, when he cried like... well, kinda like Adam Morrison.

It's still do-able, Mason. Hang in there, fellas.

And then Calhoun had this to say after the game, about the impending match-up with George Mason:

"I just hope we have enough time to recover. It's going to be nice playing an away game, too. I'm really looking forward to that. That pod system is really working out to protect the 1s, right?"

Just a couple of questions. 1) Is he serious? And 2) Where does he shop for panties? What a crybaby. You're a 1-seed playing an 11-seed, and you're looking for some protection? That's like Tiger Woods asking for two strokes a side playing 18 against Charles Barkley. I think Pat Summitt could take him in a fistfight.

Go. Mason.

George Mason 63, Wichita State 55 [Macon.com]

CONNECTICUT

1. When In Doubt, Cheat To Win. Stories about the immortal Khalid El-Amin continue to swirl around the UConn campus to this day. He's the Storrs equivalent of Lindsay Lohan; the lines are blurred so much it s impossible to separate the fact from fiction. This much is true, though: According the New Haven Register, El-Amin devised a plan to ensure a solid result in the Husky Fun Run (a 3-mile jog around the bucolic campus). Midway through the race, the beefy point guard with a penchant for cheese steak sandwiches hitched a ride from a friend, who dropped Khalid off around the corner from the finish line. To sell it completely, El-Amin splashed some water on his face in lieu of sweat and staggered down the street for an eighth-place finish.

2. Famous Uncles: Fester, Jesse, Cliffy?. Jim Calhoun has launched the NBA careers of a galaxy of stars in the L — Ray Allen, Rip Hamilton, Ben Gordon, etc. — but the first was Clifford Robinson. Uncle Cliffy is currently the longest tenured player in the NBA, beginning his career with the Blazers in 1989 as a second round draft pick. Father of the double-wide headband, Cliff, is also the tallest player (6 10") to reach 1,000 career 3-pointers. Now in his 17th season, Robinson looks to join Robert Parish, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Kevin Willis as the fourth member of the 20-season club.

3. Uncle Hilti. No one questions Jim Calhoun's shrewd eye for talent, but Hilton Armstrong might be Calhoun's crowning achievement. The Peekskill, N.Y. native certainly wasn't a star in high school, receiving just one scholarship offer from perennial A-10 doormat LaSalle. In swept Calhoun, offering the 6'11, 190-pound center a spot on the Connecticut bench. Now, the 235-pound Armstrong is the reigning Big East defensive player of the year, the fourth Husky in a row to capture the award. Coincidentally, Peekskill celebrates Elton Brand Day, celebrating the city's most famous native. UConn beat Duke for its first title in 1999, a game in which Brand scored just 15 points. Mark down April 3 as Hilton Armstrong Day. — Nick Aquilno, Mike Cardillo, Mike Suppe

WASHINGTON

1. Brandon Roy Makes Good Decisions. In 2002, as a senior at Garfield High School in Seattle, Wash., B-Roy decided to enter the NBA Draft. Why? Well, Roy doesn't often talk about it (as if it were, you know, evil), but we can think of a couple million reasons why. The decision to go to college worked out well, as Roy averaged double-digits in scoring by his sophomore year. Then, after his junior campaign — which was hampered by injury — Roy got draft-happy again and toyed with the idea of leaving school early for the Promised Land, known in some social circles as the NBA. But again, B-Roy, the wise fellow he is, stayed in school and earned Pac-10 Player of the Year honors and has led the Huskies to a second-straight Sweet 16 appearance. He s now projected as a lottery pick in the upcoming NBA draft.

2. Zane "Harry" Potter Has A Cult Following. Zane Potter is the last guy the Dawg Pack — UW's student section — wants to see playing in a close game. Coincidentally, Potter, a walk-on senior, is the first guy the fans want to see in a blowout. Potter sits at the end of the bench for every game, because frankly, it's amazing he's even on the team. But the fans love him and will chant his name as the clock winds down on a lopsided contest. He's tall, he's awkward and he sort of resembles that wizard from all those books. Potter, always the realist, has no aspirations to continue playing basketball when he graduates. Instead he plans to be a weatherman. Tough job in the Northwest ... it only rains about 90 percent of the time. Oh, and Potter is from Boring, Ore. Yeah, Boring. Must've been a fun place to grow up.

3. Bobby Jones Hates Tyson Chandler. Well, not quite. As teammates at Dominguez High School in Compton, Calif., they led the Dons to a 31-4 record and their third consecutive division II state championship. But Jones says his best high school memory is winning state without Tyson Chandler. We aren t sure if the two have spoken since. — Zach Landres-Schnur

Connecticut Huskies: First Three Tiny Tidbits [Deadspin]
Washington Huskies: First Three Tiny Tidbits [Deadspin]

CONNECTICUT

1. Rashad Anderson, Loveable Flake. According to various reports, Anderson greeted coach Jim Calhoun on his first recruiting visit wearing a wig, floor-length chinchilla coat and fake teeth. Not soon after in his first semester at Storrs, Rashad thought it would be funny to jump out of the bushes in front of a dorm wielding a fake plastic knife and wearing the mask from "Scream." Police found Anderson hiding in the woods, and he was arrested for threatening and breach of peace. When asked by a team manager if this was the first time he's been arrested, Rashad responded "In Connecticut?"

2. We Play In A Mall. Despite UConn's consistent lofty national rating, its fans will never be voted No. 1. For your examination, the notoriously fair-weather supporters bail on the Huskies at the slightest sign of trouble, turning Gampel Pavilion and their home-away-from-home, the Hartford Civic Center, into caverns of silence. The crowd makeup for most games is 75 percent old folks in various forms of UConn sweater, who tend to peter off after the caffeine in their pre-game AARP McDonald's coffee wears off. Most leave to get home in time for "Commander and Chief" and "NCIS."

UConn Has A Football Team ... We Have Uniforms And Everything! UConn is now playing big time Division I football, albeit in the Big East, and has more college bowl game victories in less than a decade of D-I play (1) than Rutgers (0). Note that in 1869 Rutgers played in the first college football game EVER. Coach Randy Edsall's sideburns are shorter than Don Mattingly's after his tongue lashing from Springfield Nuclear Power Plant manager C. Montgomery Burns. And yes, the fans aren't much better at East Hartford's Rentschler Field. — Nick Aquilno, Mike Cardillo, Mike Suppe

ALBANY

1. You Never Forget Your First Time. Saturday, the nation was treated to a tremendous performance from the Godfather of SUNY Albany basketball, Jamar Wilson, who dropped 29 on the hopeless Vermont Catamounts in the America East title game. Wilson has been the central figure in Albany s climb to the top of the America East after joining the conference just five years ago. Hell, the Great Danes have only been in Division I since 1999. It was a year of firsts: First NCAA Tournament berth, first conference regular season and postseason titles, first season above .500 and first 20 win season ... not too shabby for a former D-III program. However, for all the good Jamar Wilson did yesterday, the greatest player Albany ever had was a 5'6", 135-pound JuCo transfer from Brooklyn, Earv Opong. Who you say? Earv "I ll Be Right Back" Opong, an And1 legend breaking ankles 24/7. The genesis of the nickname? Earv earned it on the New York playgrounds, blowing by defenders so often and easily that summer league announcers said "Opong just told the defender, 'I'll be right back.'"

2. Big Purple Growl. Not sure if you noticed, but the place was going nuts during that Am-East tourney final. Forget about Rutgers ... Albany s got the best RACC (Recreation and Convocation Center) in the country. A half-hour before tipoff, the place was sold out (4,500 or so), cheering wildly and waving white "growl towels." The Big Purple Growl. A yearly basketball homecoming of sorts, with booze and food and booze and hoops (women s game before the men s game) and good times all around. Hell, the event is so fun there's even a Mr. Bounce Bouncy.

3. TOGA! TOGA! Year after year, Albany manages to make the Princeton Review s Top 10 Party School list, and year after year I am baffled by this development. Truly bizarre if you ask me, but I guess having been on the U-Albany campus many times, drinking heavily may be the only viable option. Albany was No. 5 this year, and I m shocked the Admissions Department isn t racing to use this quote in their marketing materials: "Albany is a good school, but the partying can take over your normal good student. You have to be mature to learn to balance both." SUNY Albany: You Can t Stop the Party, You Can Only Hope to Contain It. — TJ Doyle

Deadspin Printable Bracket (PDF) (JPG version)
Join The Deadspin Pool!
NCAA Tournament First Round Schedule [Deadspin]
Complete Deadspin First Round Matchup Previews [Deadspin]

2. We Play In A Mall. Despite UConn's consistent lofty national rating, its fans will never be voted No. 1. For your examination, the notoriously fair-weather supporters bail on the Huskies at the slightest sign of trouble, turning Gampel Pavilion and their home-away-from-home, the Hartford Civic Center, into caverns of silence. The crowd makeup for most games is 75 percent old folks in various forms of UConn sweater, who tend to peter off after the caffeine in their pre-game AARP McDonald's coffee wears off. Most leave to get home in time for "Commander and Chief" and "NCIS."

UConn Has A Football Team ... We Have Uniforms And Everything! UConn is now playing big time Division I football, albeit in the Big East, and has more college bowl game victories in less than a decade of D-I play (1) than Rutgers (0). Note that in 1869 Rutgers played in the first college football game EVER. Coach Randy Edsall's sideburns are shorter than Don Mattingly's after his tongue lashing from Springfield Nuclear Power Plant manager C. Montgomery Burns. And yes, the fans aren't much better at East Hartford's Rentschler Field. — Nick Aquilno, Mike Cardillo, Mike Suppe

The Huskies looked almost unstoppable at times, scoring from the outside with Denham Brown and Rashad Anderson, and then pounding the ball inside to Hilton Armstrong and Josh Boone later in the game. Their talent and depth is positively remarkable. They are the most complete team in the country, and I don't even know if it's debatable.

Also in college basketball, Indiana pulled the big upset of Michigan State in Mike Davis's last game in Bloomington. Indiana now finds itself at .500 in the Big 10, and probably still on the slippery side of the tournament bubble at 15-10. They've got games left against Purdue and Michigan, both on the road. Doesn't look good.

At the same time, Duke is currently struggling will Florida State, actually trailing by two points with about 3:00 to play. Come on, Blue Devils. You are going to ruin Dick Vitale's whole weekend.

Elsewhere in college hoops, the day after Kevin Pittsnogle and his wife combined to produce another Pittsnogle, Pittsnogle and the Mountaineers combined to beat Cincinnati. WVU is still perfect in the Big East.

Notre Dame, who have lost more nailbiters than anyone else in the country, just saw Taquan Dean bury a 25-footer at the buzzer to push their game against Louisville to overtime. If the Irish lose, Mike Brey may hang himself with a pair of shoelaces in the locker room after the game.

• "Calhoun, as is his wont, used a perceived slight to first become a victim, then a bully. He threatened a guy who had just undergone quadruple bypass surgery. Nice. See, I can be a victim, too."
• "Winning apparently entitles the man to treat others badly."
• "Shame on me for allowing myself to be pushed around like the kid who has to give the bully a quarter every day at school."

Whether or not any of this is true is kind of besides the point (though we have a feeling Jacobs was the kind of guy who always took his ball and went home when he was a kid); there isn't much less interesting that a columnist complaining about their job. A point Bill Simmons made in his More Cowbell column yesterday. Wait. What? You don't see it? We totally remember it being there.

Oh. It appears they took it out. We've never understood ESPN's insistance that its writers not criticize other media members — explain to us how it's fair that you can call Terrell Owens "gutless" but you can't mention that Tim McCarver occasionally displays the verbal dexterity of a tree — but we have to say, it drives us nuts when something is posted on a site and then just vanishes without explanation. Are we supposed to pretend we never saw it? If ESPN erases it, did it ever exist?

From Now On, Jim, I Give No Quarter [Hartford Courant]
ESPN SportsGuys Weighs In On Jacobs Vs. Calhoun [The BoneYard]

(UPDATE: From Simmons' ESPN Chat today:

BILL SIMMONS: Soryr for the delay, I just found out that the ESPN copy desk removed the funniest paragraph from today's column for no good reason. I want to commit a homicide. Why do I work for this company again?

Hmmm.)

(SECOND UPDATE: We've gotten a hold of the offending paragraph.

There's a third reason for the collective indifference: A nagging sense that Pittsburgh and Seattle aren't worthy/interesting/dynamic Super Bowl teams. For instance, Page 2's own Skip Bayless has been killing Seattle for the past few weeks. Either he's messing with the city as a gimmick, he has some deep-seated animosity toward former Page 2 editor (and Seahawks fan) Kevin "KJ" Jackson, or this whole saga is leading to a Seahawks victory and a distraught Skip wandering into a Seattle Starbucks and reenacting an episode of "24." It's one of the three. Obviously, I'm rooting for the Starbucks scenario, if only because it will probably lead to Skip's being talked off a ledge, followed by a brief jail stint and an exclusive ESPN.com interview with Graham Bensinger 18 months later. But for the life of me, I can't understand why Skip has declared war on such a harmless city. What's next, a feud with Switzerland's Winter Olympics contingent?

There you go.)

(FINAL UPDATE: The offending paragraph is now back in the story. Do not taunt Bill Simmons.)

I went to UConn and saw current Bulls and former Huskies guard Ben Gordon at a party. This genius took a Tombstone pizza out of someone's freezer and unwrapped the plastic. Instead of popping this pizza into the oven, he turned a stovetop burner on and placed the pizza on there. Failing to take the cardboard off of the bottom, Ben's pizza started smoking up the entire apartment til the owner noticed and yelled across a crowded party "what the hell are you doing?" Ben replied in kind: "Chill son, I'm cooking suttin."

To be fair, this pretty much sums up our college experience as well. Except there was more nitrous.

Athlete Run-Ins: When This Port-a-Potty's Rockin' ... [Deadspin]