Can I Cook Italian Food For Italian Guests?

Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to albertburneko@gmail.com with the subject… » 12/10/13 3:15pm 12/10/13 3:15pm

How To Make Beef Stroganoff, Which, Hey, Remember Beef Stroganoff?

Remember Beef Stroganoff? That gray mushroomy stuff your adult caregiver made a few times back when you were a kid, and then it vanished off the face of the earth, and then you completely forgot it existed, and now you're going, "Oh, yeah—Stroganoff! Whatever happened to that stuff?" » 11/02/13 12:00pm 11/02/13 12:00pm

Your Chinese Street-Food Was Probably Cooked In Poop Oil

Well, this is horrifying. Street vendors in China have taken to using something called "gutter oil"—quite literally the oil gathered from gutter runoff, dumpster sludge, garbage juice, and untreated fucking sewage fuck fuck fuck—to cook food for human consumption. And then unwitting humans are consuming that food. … » 10/29/13 4:39pm 10/29/13 4:39pm

Screw Your Pumpkin Flavors: How To Make Apple Crumble

Fun fact! Careful examination of the historical record reveals that, whatever the goddamn Starbucks menu may suggest to the contrary, the consumption of non-pumpkin-flavored foodstuffs between Sept. 15 and Dec. 20 is not a capital crime. Whether the consumption of non-pumpkin-flavored foodstuffs in that time period… » 10/26/13 12:10pm 10/26/13 12:10pm

What Can I Do With This Liquid Smoke Stuff?

Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to albertburneko@gmail.com with the subject… » 10/23/13 5:25pm 10/23/13 5:25pm

How To Make Mashed Cauliflower, Because It Goddamn Tastes Great

The first thing to do is clear up any misconceptions that the reason to make mashed cauliflower, and not mashed potatoes, is that mashed cauliflower is the more calorically or nutritionally upstanding choice. If that is what you are thinking, stop thinking that, because that is stupid. You're stupid. » 10/12/13 12:00pm 10/12/13 12:00pm

What Do I Cook For All These Gluten-Free Types?

Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to albertburneko@gmail.com with the subject… » 10/10/13 3:53pm 10/10/13 3:53pm

How To Make A Lasagna And Prepare For Hibernation

Time was, as summer rounded into autumn, you kept an eye out for that first cool, dry weekend after the leaves started to turn, when the air remained genuinely chilly in the shade all day long, and then you tilted back your floppy coppola hat, hooked your thumbs into your suspenders, gazed thoughtfully into the… » 10/05/13 1:00pm 10/05/13 1:00pm

What The Hell Do I Cook For My Tailgate?

Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to albertburneko@gmail.com with the subject… » 10/02/13 3:35pm 10/02/13 3:35pm

How To Make A Reuben Sandwich And Embrace Entropy

It's good to live a tidy, orderly life. Clean shirt, clean face, sensibly organized underwear drawer (I subcategorize alphabetically by superhero!), and so on. People like tidiness; they trust it. It makes things easier. Food, too, can be tidy: the neat, clean geometry of sushi; the artful towers of nouvelle cuisine;… » 9/21/13 12:00pm 9/21/13 12:00pm

What The Hell Do I Do With These Frightening Ghost Peppers?

Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to albertburneko@gmail.com with the subject… » 9/18/13 4:00pm 9/18/13 4:00pm

How To Craft A Caesar Salad And Not Settle For Less In Life

You order a Caesar salad at your humble local steakhouse, or crummy chain Italian joint, or nightmarish, kitsch-bedecked, "Signature Bourbonzola Glaze®"-slinging pan-American shithole—They hire cute bartenders! you're now insisting, not a little bit defensively, as if that is not even sadder than going for the… » 9/07/13 11:45am 9/07/13 11:45am

The Best Recipes And Tips You've Sent In So Far, Scum

This Labor Day weekend, as you well know and have indicated on all of your calendars, both paper and e-, marks the first anniversary of Foodspin—and, while this is not the precise reason why many of you will receive an extra day off from work tomorrow, it is the reason why you have clung to life long enough to enjoy… » 9/01/13 11:32am 9/01/13 11:32am