South America’s continental championship, the Copa América, has never received the prestige it perhaps deserves. Despite being contested among some of world soccer’s great powers, like Brazil, Argentina, and Uruguay, it has never risen to the level of consciousness of the World Cup, the Euros, the Olympics, and maybe…
Look at the image above. It appears to show two well-positioned Paraguayan defenders on the cusp of shepherding the ball away from Lionel Messi. Now, watch the video below, where Messi skips past one, nutmegs the other, and generally jukes them so hard that they crash into each other, left helpless on the grass as…
Chile launched Estadio Nacional into ecstasy when Edu Vargas landed an unreal screamer to put the host side up 2-1 on Peru just minutes after Gary Medel had equalized for the Peruvians in the Copa America semifinal. As you might expect, it sent beIN announcer Ray Hudson into orgasmic screams.
Paraguay put down Brazil in the Copa America last night, winning on penalties after Derlis Gonzalez equalized on a penalty in the second half and converted the deciding goal in the shootout. Reportedly, in the excitement of watching the winning shot, his 44-year-old uncle died of a heart attack.
What part of “you can’t use your hands” don’t you get, Gonzalo Jara? And Cavani was the one who got sent off? There’s no justice in this world.
Yesterday, we lamented the preliminary two-match suspension handed down to Neymar because of his actions at the end of the Brazil-Colombia game. We now know for (almost) certain that we have seen the last of Brazil’s stud for the Copa América, as his suspension has been increased to four games.
Colombia beat Brazil 1-0 last night in the Copa América, Los Cafeteros’ first win over the South American giants since 1991. But instead of the impressiveness of the feat (and Brazil’s continued struggles) taking center stage, the kerfuffle that broke out after the final whistle has overshadowed the game.
A fundamental part of the marvel that is LeBron James is the sheer madness of his journey. Here is a man who was on the cover of national magazines and playing in front of millions on cable TV as a high schooler, who by the time he was eligible to vote was already being hailed as the successor to quite possibly the…
So what if Irina Grandez and Daisy Araujo didn't quite measure up to Larissa Riquelme in the "world will watch my nation's soccer match to see whether I will have to strip naked for them" sweepstakes? Paraguay Cell Phone Girl's nudity will be decided tomorrow. But, Irina and Daisy's heroes on the Peruvian side will…
Your morning roundup for July 23, the day after we learned that high-school tennis coaches really might want to stay away from strip-club ownership.
When Paraguay outlasted Venezuela in the Copa America semifinals last night, it brought cell-phone holder Larissa Riquelme within 90 minutes of having to strip for the world. The PK victory after a 0-0 match also resulted in a brawl. Good times.
Your morning roundup for July 10, the day it pays to be wary of people with wide faces.
Your morning roundup for July 9, the day Detroit teaches us to respect the crackheads who walk among us.
Meet Irina and Daysy. They very much would like to see Peru win the Copa America. So much so, in fact, that they intend to go sans ropas if Peru prevails. Making that proposition all the more enjoyable is how Google Translate, well, translates stories about the aforementioned potential nudity. To wit:
In yesterday's Chile-Mexico Copa America match, chileno Gary Medel got a hold of Giovani Dos Santos and did not let go until the man went down. Chile went on to win, 2-1, and will play Uruguay on Friday. May they leave los penes en paz.
Your morning roundup for July 2, the day a few Marines face time in the brig because they married solely for money.
The Copa America is about to start, but eight players on the Mexican side are in big trouble. Seems they had a little place in their Quito hotel where they were running some Ecuadorian whores in and out, trying to be responsible. Then, laptops and iPads turned up missing. They got criticized for that, especially…