That's where a 14-year-old boy from Fort Mill, S.C. spent his weekend, which started so innocently and pleasurably — so patriotically — at a Charlotte Knights game, of all places. The stadium was packed with fans awaiting fireworks and clutching their newly-acquired beach bags when the teenager's father, as many do, decided to live vicariously through his offspring.

He acknowledged joking with his son about what it would be like to run onto the field. The family was sitting behind home plate, about 10 rows up.

"I said, ‘Boy, if you do, you'd be the man,'" Richards said. "It wasn't like we went to the rail and helped him over or anything."

So the boy became the man, ever the chip off the old block. He jumped the dugout, scampered shirtless across the infield all the way to the wall in center field, where he jumped and slapped the 400-foot sign. (Act like a juvenile delinquent today!)

Not that there's anything wrong with that — except, you know, everything. The boy and his old man were arrested, and the latter was released on bond the next day. The kid will remain in juvenile detention — wasn't he now a man? — for trespassing until the next Family Court, when he will continue to do exactly as advised.

Teen jailed for sprint across diamond [Charlotte Observer]

Actually, if the NBA had an outdoor game, I'm fairly certain we would. In fact, it might happen at an indoor game before we know it.

After all, it's the rage in Greece.

Friday Night Lights [Section 8 Chicago]

*****

A Jon Miller rant, Weezy beat and scheduling screwup later, we made it through another Saturday. Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin, and enjoy the action tonight. The boss is back tomorrow, and that's all right with me.

Ah, European hooligans — always good for a riot in Game 1 of the finals. But none of this is too surprising, considering Panathinaikos' fight song, Horto Magico, is a stoner jam, except more hardcore:

It's a magic weed, give me a little bit to taste, to dream of my PAO and shout as far as God: My Panatha, I love you, like heroin, like a hard drug, like hashish, lsd, for you PAO the whole world is stoned, (or: PAO the whole world is high on you), the whole world. My Panatha, my Panatha, I love you, I love you, wherever you may play I will always follow you, I follow you, PAO here, PAO here, PAO there, PAO there, wherever you may play we will always be together, always together.

So for Josh Childress, sounds about as intense as a Stanford-Cal game. (This is what he left for? Really?) Childress was quoted as saying the violence will "make make me think real hard over my future in Europe," but then he denied everything on his Twitter. This morning, he ate lunch on a topless beach.

After the smoke settled, the fans fought the police and Panathinaikos won the game with late free throws. At least I think they did. It's all Greek to me.

Cabezas The Savior And Childress Homesick [Ball in Europe]
Professional Security is Not Bad [True Hoop]

"I have one thing to tell you, T.O.: I. Hate. You. You like writing disses? I can write them right back to you."

Via the invaluable The 700 Level, another glorious YouTube creation: A pissed-off Eagles fan attempting to "diss" Terrell Owens wraps his own anti-T.O. diatribe to the beat of Owens' "I'm Back." All kinds of hilarity here, ranging from the acoustics (which have Owens' lyrics' louder than the kid's) to the fact that the kid looks like a teenager version of Jim from "The Office." Albeit an angrier, much more frustrated version.

The world is a better place when Philadelphia fans are angry; this video shows once again that children are the future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.

Eagles Fans.. Uh.. They're a Passionate Bunch [The 700 Level]

But we love Fan For Hire. Why? Well, the site's purveyor is a Cardinals fan who is willing to be bought to become a Cubs fan. Horrific, right? Against the law of nature. But here's the fun part, in the fine print: He's looking for $10,000 ... to cheer for the Cubs during one game. If you want him to root for the Cubs a second game, it's gonna cost you another 10 grand.

That's a very high priced hoo-ar. We respect that.

Fan For Hire [Official Site]

Some blessed soul has posted the sheet the Crazies were given before the North Carolina-Duke game last week, and it's chock-full of fruity goodness. Some highlights:

• "Maryland fans yell 'Bullshit' on a bad call, but, to be honest, we have more class and are more creative than that. On bad calls, try chanting 'We Beg To Differ.'"
• "Obviously, do not insult Rutgers."
• "Andrew Tyler Hansbrough ... a 20-year-old freshman ... alien-like features ... Bobby Frasor was at his desk when Tyler woke up screaming about snakes in a nightmare."

Actually, we really enjoyed this document; for the first time, it kind of sounds like fun to be a Cameron Crazy. Except when, uh, they lose on Senior Night to North Carolina.

Cameron Crazies Worksheet [PutFile]

The big story from last night's loss to Florida State was the early bum rush of the court by Seminoles fans. There's been a lot of talk lately about the appropriateness of fans running on the court after wins, and we'll say that not only have we never had a problem with it, we find it sad that's it's not as prevalent as it used to be. When the Milwaukee Brewers beat the St. Louis Cardinals in Game 5 of the 1982 World Series, fans had a big party on the field afterwards even though the Brewers only had a 3-2 lead in the series. These days? Go ahead and try to run on the field after the Yankees clinch something; we give you five seconds until the snipers on the roof take you out.

Still: Probably good to wait until the game is over to run on the court. Not doing so gives Mike Krzyzewski opportunity to act all indignant afterwards, and nobody wants that.

Not Going 16-0, Not Going To NIT [Simon Says Hoops]

Two Kentucky fans — one of whom runs this blog — inspired by that SNL "Lazy Sunday" video, have produced "Lazy Tuesday," an "video" in honor of their beloved Kentucky Wildcats. It is, uh, well, we'll just let you watch it below.

We tried to get into the mind of the type of person who would produce this, so we check out the guy's site. Aw ... he's a Cardinals fan. Figures. Crap.

But yeah: Here's your little Wednesday goodie. You're welcome.

Manchester United and Liverpool have issued a joint statement condemning the fans who attacked the ambulance taking Alan Smith to hospital at the weekend.

You read that correctly. When Smith, a Man United midfielder, broke his leg during a match with Liverpool last week, opposing fans attacked the ambulance which was taking him to the hospital. Not even Steelers fans would stoop that low, we reckon. Reports in several newspapers on Thursday claimed the ambulance was surrounded by people who "threw stones and bottles" at it, and even tried to rock it from side to side. Said a Liverpool soccer spokesman: "You never know when you are going to need the paramedics yourself or for a member of your family, so how would they feel if mindless idiots came out and tried to shake an ambulance and throw missiles."

Indeed. That would take all the fun out of a heart attack.

Smith Ambulance Attack Condemned [London Daily Mail]

Basically, the chants were directed at a St. Mary's player, Daniel Kickert from Australia. This isn't the first time that the Kennel Club has had issues with Kickert;, basically the dude is a huge prick. Anyway, someone with a Myspace account got a picture of Kickert, one in which he was kissing another guy. [the accompanying picture, we're told]

This jumped off on the zags message board the week before the game. Tons of chants were thought up such as "kissing kickert ... kissing kickert," which really isn't all that bad, to some other not so nice ones.

The thing that gets me, is that in none of these articles about the situation, nobody said the reasoning for the chant, which was the picture. The media has basically painted GU as a school full of homophobes. I'm not saying that making fun of gay people is right;
the Brokeback chant was immature, but it lasted like 10 seconds. Take college kids, bring ESPN to every game, mix lots of beer ... and you get some crazies.

The picture of Kickert, which we can't verify is actually him, has been sent to us before. We tend to think this is one of those times when a bunch of kids got drunk, yelled something loud enough to get it on television and then was overreacted to by the Gonzaga administration, which sent a note to all students that of course made it to the press.

By the way, this "Brokeback Mountain" thing appears to be catching on; several "Brokeback Mountaineers" signs were spotted at the Georgetown-West Virginia game over the weekend.

Gonzaga administration's full email is after the jump.

———————————————————————————
Sent: Friday, February 10, 2006 10:17 AM
Subject: [GU] Fan behavior for College Game Day

To the University Community:

Our men's basketball team has done exceptionally well this season possessing, as it does, the longest home winning streak in the nation and as a result, the focus of the nation is upon us. That focus becomes even sharper this weekend as the ESPN network showcases Gonzaga's team, campus, and fans during College Game Day.

While the accomplishments of our athletes have made us proud, and the demeanor of our assembled supporters in the Kennel has been worthy of praise, inappropriate conduct was observed by many, and reported on Public Radio, at our last home game. Among the usual good-natured chants and cheers of the Kennel Club, demeaning and disrespectful chants, interpreted as slurs involving both gender and sexual minorities — and one, St. Mary's athlete in particular, were heard. While we don't believe that this conduct is reflective of our students or fans in general, we do believe these actions are inappropriate and reflect negatively on Gonzaga University. This is extremely distressing to us and to many of the faculty, staff and students who are proud of the principled traditions that Gonzaga embodies.

These incidents have generated significant dialogue among Gonzaga community members. We cannot make the point more eloquently than others already have. A faculty member said: "These chants are troubling and certainly do not demonstrate the foundations of social justice on which GU is founded." The advisors to the Kennel Club have stated: "We hold our students to a higher level of expectation, a higher level of decency, and a higher level of respect. All of us within the Gonzaga community know of our commitment to our mission and our commitment to respect self and others. These commitments are not to be left at the door of the McCarthey Athletic Center or the sidewalks of Hamilton or Ruby. Rather, they are life commitments that we intend our students to live by now, and throughout their lives."

Intolerance is not acceptable within our Jesuit, Catholic and humanistic mission of this University. We offer our most sincere apologies to those hurt or marginalized by this incident, regardless of the intent of those responsible.

College Game Day and our game against Stanford is an important day for the University and the student body. The manner in which we present ourselves to the world offers us an opportunity to shine as examples of exemplary fan behavior. We want to emphasize how important it is to represent our University favorably and to project a positive image. We ask that we all conduct ourselves in a manner that reflects our pride in Gonzaga, ourselves, and each other.

Be safe, and enjoy the weekend. Go Zags!

Robert J. Spitzer, S.J.
President

Stephen Freedman, PhD
Academic Vice President

Sue Weitz, PhD
Vice President for Student Life

Ennis Zigs, But Jack Twist Definitely Zags [Deadspin]

But that's what Judge Beverly Grant of Tacoma, Wash. did last week, and she apologized yesterday, saying, "I take full responsibility, particularly as it has impacted the Patricelli family, the judiciary system and others." For the record, we support the expression of fandom while dealing with cases of capital crime; who can forget the famous sentencing of John Wayne Gacy to the dulcet tones of "The Super Bowl Shuffle?"

Judge Apologizes For Super Bowl Cheer [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

Other shots include an unfortunate Larry Walker shirt and a terrified Bonnie Bernstein. It's not too difficult which one is the clubhouse attendant, and which is the professional athlete.

Images Of Me And Famous People [Webshots]

(Note: We were asked to brush out the face of one of the guys in the picture so he didn't get in trouble with his employers, and we were happy to oblige. And not just because the picture is now 37 percent more horrifying.)

Oh, and in case you thought schoolchildren and the corporate world were somehow exempt from all this madness, people in Allegheny County are printing out permission slips for everyone to participant in "Black And Gold Week." Notably, the slip permits fans to listen to the "Pittsburgh Polka" at one's desk. We have no idea what that means.

Steelers Fan Flies Terrible Towel From Space Needle [KDKA.com]
"Black And Gold Week Permission Slip" [KDKA.com]

That's pretty much it: He'll take two seats, any two seats, in any section (as long as they're together), and he'll beat the piss out of his Oldsmobile Cutlass Sierra. The option for you to destroy the car yourself appears to be available as well, which is considerate, we think.

SUPERBOWL TICKETS!!! Any seats any section!! [eBay]

Over his lunch hour, the Steelers fan got his revenge, as if the game weren't enough. If you work with this guy, and you're a Seahawks fan ... we suggest you keep it to yourself.

Pictures Of Sad Broncos Fan And His Cubicle [E-League]

A die-hard Steelers fan and teacher at Beaver Falls High School made Joshua Vannoy, 17, take a midterm test on the floor. The honors ethnic relations teacher had Vannoy sit in a circle of desks, then instructed his classmates to throw paper at him.

The good news is that the kid wasn't wearing a Jake Plummer jersey, because if he'd have tried to throw the paper back at his tormentors, well, they probably would have come right back and hit him in the face.

Teacher's True Colors Definitely Not Orange, Blue [Denver Post]