crazy Page index.xml - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Future Florida Man Luis Suárez Allegedly Cheated On Italian Citizenship Exam
Luis Suárez is destined to play for Inter Miami. It might not be happening now, even though there were reports of talks last month to make it happen, but the universe eventually needs Suárez to assume his final form as a Florida Man....
Report: Some Guy Broke A Teen's Head For Not Properly Respecting The National Anthem
From the moment “respecting the flag” became a piece of gristle floating in the soupy brains of people who watch a lot of Fox News and burn their Nikes, we began heading towards this moment. At long last, someone has allegedly assaulted a teenager over perceived disrespect for the flag and national ...
Degenerate Gambler Charged With Making Racist Death Threats To Dozens Of Athletes
Addison Choi, a 23-year-old ex-college-soccer player from Fullerton, Calif., was charged today in Massachusetts federal court on one count of transmitting a threat to injure a person, after he sent death threats to at least 45 professional and college athletes between July and December 2017. Accord...
Qatar Beat The Hell Out Of UAE And Then Got A Bunch Of Shoes Thrown At Them
The UAE had big hopes this winter. The tiny Middle Eastern nation is hosting this month’s Asian Cup, and national team appeared to be on the brink of something special when they qualified for the semifinals against their hated rivals, Qatar. Then Qatar beat the shit out of them so badly today that t...
Why Is The <i>Wall Street Journal</i> Letting Jason Whitlock Use Its Pages To Say Colin Kaepernick Isn't Black?
It’s hard to find anything truly shocking nowadays in a world that seemingly no longer has any rules, but that an ostensibly proud and legitimate newspaper like the Wall Street Journal sees fit to regularly lend its imprimatur of legitimacy to the rambling thoughts of a blithering idiot like Jason W...
The Crummy Giants Should Bring Back This Piece Of Shit Crab
Hey, who remembers this ugly piece of shit?...
Max Scherzer Is An Intense Weirdo
Max Scherzer, like all pitchers, goalies, kickers, and other solitary sportsmen, is a lunatic. Sometimes he’s growling at his coaches. Sometimes it’s at no one in particular. Scherzer was on one last night, striking out 14 over seven innings as the Nationals beat the Dodgers 2-1. And if you are both...
Stars Take 1-0 Lead On Bizarre Goal
Despite vehement Minnesota Wild objections, replay officials declared this crazy play a good goal for Dallas, giving the Stars a 1-0 lead in the second game of their playoff series and awarding Antoine Roussel credit for scoring it....
<i>Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry </i>Is Acidic B-Movie Nihilism Done Right
The car-chase movies of the '70s really only had one plot: Someone drives a muscle car really fast, hoping to avoid police cars, some of which end up driving into streams or ponds. But each movie found a vastly different way to tell that one story. Vanishing Point, the genre's real masterpiece, to...
High School Team's Game-Winning Drive Kept Alive By Immaculate Reception
This happened last Friday in a playoff game between Louisville Central and Corbin High in Louisville, Ky. Louisville Central beat Corbin 36-33 thanks to two fourth-quarter touchdowns, the second of which was precipitated by this insanely fortunate catch. This may not quite live up to the original Im...
This Woman Might Convince You That Your Energy Drink Was Made By Satan
I mean, you can't argue with facts. "Bottoms up, and the Devil laughs."...
A Field Guide To American Truthers
There were no truthers back in the 20th century. I grew up in the Golden Age of Kennedy Assassination Conspiracies, but the word "truther" was never used to describe Oliver Stone or any of the other folks who decried the Magic Bullet theory. (DISCLOSURE: I saw JFK when I was in high school and took...
Two High Jumpers Jump Very High And Get Some Attention
"We are Super Men," effused the very pumped Qatari high jumper Mutaz Essa Barshim after an epic duel with Ukrainian world champion Bohdan Bondarenko at the June 14th IAAF Diamond League track meet in New York City. ...
Nick Saban Is Like Hitler, Says Alabama Fan Who Loves Nick Saban
AL.com's Jon Solomon has written a wonderful article about the die-hard Alabama fans who flock to SEC media days with the hope that they will get a chance to meet Nick Saban. Some arrive looking for an autograph, others want to give gifts to Saban, and some just come to pay their respects—and also t...
“Hey Ungrateful Quitter": Emails From An Angry Lacrosse Coach
Consider this your latest reminder that lacrosse is the worst. What follows is an email exchange, forwarded to us by a tipster, that took place between an angry lacrosse coach, one of his players, and that player's parents. It begins with the player telling his coach that he won't be able to attend ...
Angry Soccer Fans Throw Chairs At Team Owner
Here's a tip for owners of Argentinian soccer clubs: If your team has just been relegated to a lower division for the first time in its history, make sure you have a lot of security on hand at your next press conference....
This Is Where The Debate Over "Redskins" Went Completely Off The Rails
We've finally come to the end of the crazy line in the Washington Redskins name debate. It's going to be hard to top Walter E. Williams writing about "busybodies and tyrants" for The Oakland Press in a column so nuts you really want it to be satire. ...
Old-Man Fight Features Broken Golf Club Used As A Sword
If you've spent a significant amount of time playing golf, you know how awful going through a round with a shitty playing partner can be. But no drunk, angry, or overly talkative golfing buddy will ever be as bad as one 59-year-old man from Detroit, Mich., who allegedly broke a club over his playing...
Can Dennis Rodman Survive Retirement?
Originally published as "No Rebound" on June 1, 2003, in The New York Times Magazine. Footnotes from the author are included throughout the story....