The Newest Front In The Barcelona-Real Madrid Rivalry Is Photoshopping Ronaldo's Abs

For the motivated and inspired, there is a nearly unending list of things you can criticize and/or laugh at Cristiano Ronaldo about. One of the few things not on that list is disputing the chiseled nature of every inch of the man’s body. And yet a Catalan TV station tried exactly that when they snuck in a curiously…

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Cristiano Ronaldo Dominated The Euro 2016 Final Without Even Playing

Eventually, as the days become months and months become years after yesterday’s Euro 2016 final, where Portugal bested France in extra time, no one will remember that it was the poorly played—though passionate—conclusion to a tournament that itself was stuffed with teams that played like our endearing though unlovable…

Cristiano Ronaldo Freaked The Fuck Out During The Portugal-Poland Penalty Shootout

We’re used to seeing Cristiano Ronaldo as the picture of confidence, swaggering around the pitch with his chest all puffed and his chin to the sky. But Ronaldo is indeed human (or at least has recently underwent a software upgrade which included a new and incredibly realistic human behavior-miming module), proof of…

Cristiano Ronaldo Is Not Mad. This Is Actually Funny To Him.

Underwear mogul/ab demon Cristiano Ronaldo and his Portuguese teammates opened their Euro 2016 campaign against Iceland today. It was the tiny island’s first European Championship game ever, and they managed to come from behind and tie Portugal, 1-1. Portugal had 27 shots, 10 on goal, and 66 percent of the possession,…

Gareth Bale Makes A Totally Convincing Case That He And Ronaldo Are Buds

Gareth Bale is out to set the record straight. He’s heard all the rumors that he and Cristiano Ronaldo don’t get along. He’s even seen the efforts of his agent to disabuse fans of the notion that the Bale-Ronaldo partnership is anything but jolly twisted into evidence of the exact opposite by a conniving, unscrupulous…

Cristiano Ronaldo Was Great Today, Just Like He Knew He Would Be

It’s hard to think of a more quintessentially Cristiano Ronaldo performance than the show he put on today. Everything that makes him the all-time great that he is—from the tangible things like his speed, power, technique, and finishing, to the abstract ones like his determination and preternatural instincts—were on…

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Police: Ronaldo Vs. Messi Debate Ends With One Guy Killing His Buddy With Shard Of Glass

The incessant arguing about whether Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi is the better player is dumb, misses the point, and is played out. Even worse than getting drawn into said argument in the first place is taking it so seriously that you kill a friend of yours, which is apparently what happened to two Nigerian…