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Real Madrid Are Still Humping The Story That Ronaldo Cost More Than Bale

Of all of Cristiano Ronaldo’s various behavioral quirks, which have brought us so many laughs over the years, one of the funniest and most puzzling is his curious attachment to being the most expensive player alive. When he first came to Real Madrid, the club paid what was then a world record transfer fee for him; by…

Cristiano Ronaldo Should Probably Stop Hitting People

Hey, Cristiano, how’s it going? Good? That’s good to hear. I didn’t want anything, just checking in. Saw yesterday’s game. Kind of a bummer, drawing like that against Real Betis. Yeah, they should’ve given you a penalty, I agree. While on the topic of the game though, what happened with you and Francisco Molinero?…

Report: Martin Scorsese Drops Cristiano Ronaldo From New Movie

Last month, Martin Scorsese reportedly cast Cristiano Ronaldo in his upcoming movie, The Manipulator, which is apparently about mega-rich Italian real estate agent Alessandro Proto. The Italian has claimed that he is, in fact, the inspiration for the titular Christian Grey of “Fifty Shades Of Grey.” Now, according to…

Cristiano Ronaldo Isn't The Greatest Player Alive, And That's Insane

Real Madrid’s Cristiano Ronaldo won Europe’s Golden Shoe yesterday, which recognizes the top scorer across the continent’s top leagues. It’s the fourth time he’s won the award, and it comes after last season, when he scored 48 goals in 35 La Liga games. No one else in the history of the award has won it four times.…

Agent: Gareth Bale And Ronaldo Don't Hate Each Other (They Totally Do)

It’s long been understood that playing with Cristiano Ronaldo is not the easiest of tasks. He is a singular talent that thrives on a team built with the specific objective of facilitating him. As driven an athlete as you’ll ever find, he focuses only on winning—and to him, the path to winning starts and ends with him…