The Newest Front In The Barcelona-Real Madrid Rivalry Is Photoshopping Ronaldo's Abs

For the motivated and inspired, there is a nearly unending list of things you can criticize and/or laugh at Cristiano Ronaldo about. One of the few things not on that list is disputing the chiseled nature of every inch of the man’s body. And yet a Catalan TV station tried exactly that when they snuck in a curiously…

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Cristiano Ronaldo Dominated The Euro 2016 Final Without Even Playing

Eventually, as the days become months and months become years after yesterday’s Euro 2016 final, where Portugal bested France in extra time, no one will remember that it was the poorly played—though passionate—conclusion to a tournament that itself was stuffed with teams that played like our endearing though unlovable…

Cristiano Ronaldo Freaked The Fuck Out During The Portugal-Poland Penalty Shootout

We’re used to seeing Cristiano Ronaldo as the picture of confidence, swaggering around the pitch with his chest all puffed and his chin to the sky. But Ronaldo is indeed human (or at least has recently underwent a software upgrade which included a new and incredibly realistic human behavior-miming module), proof of…

Gareth Bale Makes A Totally Convincing Case That He And Ronaldo Are Buds

Gareth Bale is out to set the record straight. He’s heard all the rumors that he and Cristiano Ronaldo don’t get along. He’s even seen the efforts of his agent to disabuse fans of the notion that the Bale-Ronaldo partnership is anything but jolly twisted into evidence of the exact opposite by a conniving, unscrupulous…

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Police: Ronaldo Vs. Messi Debate Ends With One Guy Killing His Buddy With Shard Of Glass

The incessant arguing about whether Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi is the better player is dumb, misses the point, and is played out. Even worse than getting drawn into said argument in the first place is taking it so seriously that you kill a friend of yours, which is apparently what happened to two Nigerian…