I went to Spanish Camp when I was a kid (shut up), and there was this one kid named Dave who was always a dick to me. I spent pretty much every waking moment ruminating on how much I hated Dave, until one day when I couldn’t take it anymore, and I walked up behind Dave and sucker-punched him. Total cheap shot. I am a…
Fireworks! So loud! So destructive! So shabbily made! Why, they’re the perfect embodiment of America itself! No wonder we blow them up real good every 4th of July.
Last week, we asked you to tell us your worst food foibles. We heard a lot of instances of people eating sour cream when they were expecting whipped cream, salt in lieu of sugar, and of course, brie instead of pie. Traumatic plot twist! What follows are far and away the worst stories of food-based mistakes:
Whether or not you know it, if you're a baseball fan, you probably appreciate or enjoy the game a little bit more because of Tom Tango. The pseudonymous saberist, currently a consultant for the Chicago Cubs, has had a hand—often the most important one—in developing many of the most interesting and useful statistical…
Last month, I solicited your best road-trip stories, and got a ton of excellent ones; starting today, I'll be burning off a new batch of them regularly. But in the interest of fairness, I figured I'd start by offering up another of my own.
The other Sunday at brunch with friends, I caught myself doing something revolting: I was absentmindedly picking at the dry skin on my heels. In public. At brunch.
Hey, young people: What are your plans for the summer? Flying down to the beach with your buddies? Planning on taking your girlfriend to Napa for a week? Gonna stay around the house, throw a few bitchin' parties, maybe get arrested here and there? Working hard and saving toward your future?
Last week, we noted that chicken-thigh recipes were turning up everywhere, making them the It Piece of Spring. Of course, you already knew that chicken thighs are where it's at. And we kinda guessed that would be the case (leg men, every last one of you), so we asked for your favorite preparation. You did not…
Greetings, faceless demographic. So the folks at HarperCollins are trying to promote Judah Friedlander's book "How To Beat Up Anybody" and I'm having trouble trying to figure out how to promote it. It doesn't help that the publicist lady referred to the site as "Deadpin" several times.
Mine was Meatloaf's "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad." Mark from Atlanta's was "Little Red Corvette." Others are below. Add more in the comments, please, horndogs.
Greetings, cretins. We have an email request from a reader who's going through a rough patch. He wants off this hellish treadmill immediately. He will achieve this by...singing awful karaoke in a bar in Huron, Ohio. Guide him.