cultural oddsmaker
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This is AJ Daulerio's final Cultural Oddsmaker for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think.
Congratulations to Isiah Thomas, Deadspin Sports Human of the Year. Too bad for Kige, who once again fell just a few clicks short of history. Now, he's relegated back to the moronic tedium of Speak-and-Spell YouTube sports reporting. He shouldn't drown his sorrows in Strawberry Quick for too long though, as some major media corporation will surely throw a six-figure contract at him very soon. Didn't you hear? Online sports personalities are hot properties. Everybody wants one. They're like the new Beanie Babies. But it takes a lot more than that to be Sports Human of the Year. Judging by the first two victors, it takes a supreme lack of self-awareness. Kige, for better or for worse, has entirely too much of that.
So this is actually the topic of this week's final Cultural Oddsmaker: Who will be the next Sports Human of the Year?
Humanity has been a cornerstone of this site since its inception. It's what helps the modern day fan build a stronger connection to the athletes have been our country's valiant robot warriors. It's so effortless for them that it's demoralizing to be in their presence. That's why it's so great when they get drunk. Or grab a tit in public. It's in these moments that we see little glimpses that they do indeed breathe the same air we do; they have the same faults, or startling lack of judgment. Sometimes it's drugs. Sometimes it's women. Sometimes it's hubris. Sometimes it's not being properly trained in machete self-defense techniques.
Along those same lines, we also live in an era where sports "personalities" are also just as vital to our fandom. And thanks to ESPN, the smarty-pants crew with their sharp ties and pop culture shout-outs are what is supposed to make our sports fandom more relevant — more now. We are all Judd Apatow sycophants and Coors Light commercials. Maybe we are? Maybe they're right.
With that in mind, let's move along to this week's email. This wasn't actually sent to me, but to the floppy-haired Royal We from a prominent ESPN Sports Center host who's unfortunately been on the ass-end of many a joke here on Deadspin. It's not because he's a bad guy— it's because like many a Sports Center anchor at ESPN he's larger than life. He's also very kind to most of the people he's corresponded with on many occasions. But for the sake of bridge-burning, it's time to share this email that was sent to Deadspin on Feb. 1, 2007, during the apex of Super Bowl madness.
When Scott Van Pelt puts you on notice, you best better listen:
From: Van Pelt, Scott
To: Royal We
Subject: Man...
Scott Van Pelt wrote:
Your site is consistently funny and smart and this just seems so....weak.
Grown men in South Beach "hollering at the ladies" and your guy is like ...what...the fun police?
From: The Royal We
Sent: Thursday, February 01, 2007 4:24 PM
To: Van Pelt, Scott
Subject: Re: Man...
Oh, AJ ... I thought you were talking about the site. AJ just does his thing ... I never know what he's up to. But yeah: I think he's had enough hanging with ESPN people now; I think he just wanted to get his picture with Salisbury.
Subject: RE: Man...
Date: Thu, 1 Feb 2007 16:29:22 -0500
From: Van Pelt, Scott
To: Royal We
I think the ESPN people have had enough of him. You f*ck with people enough and eventually someone big, drunk guy acts like a big, drunk guy and knocks the moustache off your face.
THAT would be some fodder.
Yeah. It would. Another time, another place for everything.
So this week, I'm shutting off the lights, breaking out the Journey and placing odds on who the potential nominees for Sports Human of the Year 2008 will be.
Let's adieu.
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