Cycling
”Sastre Wins the Tour Pending a Few Dozen Piss Tests
Carlos Sastre continued Spain's dominance in all things sport this summer (watch out LeBron) with his win at the 2008 Tour de France. Of course that wasn't the only news to come out of the oft-marred race following the final stage. More »Use DZNUTS: Your Scrotum Will Thank You
Oh what the hell, let's just call it balls day on Deadspin. Introducing dznuts, developed for competitive cyclists "to reduce and relieve chaffing, irritation, and protect fragile perineal skin from bacterial and fungal infections." It's got masterwort, so you know it's good. More »Let's Watch The Cyclists Go Whizzing By
Planning on watching the Tour de France in person this year? Be careful where you sit. This is something they don't show you in the brochure. At this event everything is uber-organized; including the pee breaks. Little known fact: When Lance Armstrong would pull over to do this, he would leave a smoking patch of scorched earth where to this day no vegetation will grow. Hey, I'm no pharmacist; I'm just sayin'. More »Offend Lance Armstrong, And Face The Consequences
The hatred so many people in the cycling world have for Lance Armstrong once seemed a little bewildering to us outsiders. The guy beat cancer! He's the only reason anyone has ever cared about cycling! He pisses off the French! What's not to like? And then he started dating Kate Hudson and jogging with Matthew McConaughey, and we started to see it a little bit: Lance Armstrong might be a hero, but he also might be a dick. More »What Can You Say Here Except, "Holy Crap"
The truce between cars and bicycles is an uneasy one at best, and is surely broken from time to time; but never more horrifically than seen here. And you are excused for that coffee spit-take. It happened outside of Monterrey, Mexico, near the U.S. border, on Sunday when a drunk driver apparently fell asleep at the wheel and slammed into the middle of a bike race, killing one and injuring 10. A couple more photos following the jump, if you're so inclined. More »
Female Cyclist Convicted In BALCO Case For Perjury, Growing Her Own Prostate
Cycling stories are remarkably easy to skip over. So much, in fact, that I skipped over five cycling stories during my morning piddle. But cyclist Tammy Thomas getting convicted in a BALCO-related case on three counts of perjury, well, just try to gloss over this mental image. More »
tour de france
Lance Armstrong, The Only Pure Cyclist
Mercifully, the Tour de France is over, and some guy we've never heard of but is probably doping like everybody else won. Yahoo. The race's public implosion got us to thinking about Lance Armstrong. More »R.I.P. Tour De France
If you're like us, you never really cared about the Tour de France anyway, but with all that has gone done with that race this year, we suspect that no one else from now on is gonna care either. Everybody's doping, the leader has been sent home by his own team, the guy who's in the lead now was just tied to drugs last year, tiny bombs are going off on the course ... it's probably just time to cancel this thing, send everybody home and rethink the whole sport. The French thought they were mad at Lance Armstrong? Look at the mess they have now. Take your leg razor and go home, boys.
not here no now no
German TV Is Shocked To Find Doping In This Establishment
We know we're gonna blow your minds here, but it turns out that there has been a bit of a blood doping scandal at the Tour de France! We know! In cycling! Of all places! You know, you think you can trust a sport. Anyway, a German television station has decided it's had just about enough, thank you very much. More »That Dog Could Kick Your Bike's Ass
If there are two Tour de France videos in one day, it must mean only one thing: The riders keep running into things! Here's more proof that domestic animals are infinitely tougher than someone who rides a bicycle professionally.
floyd landis
They Just Don't Make Mennonites The Way They Used To
So, yeah, this Floyd Landis business. Heavens. More »
cycling
Your New 2006 Tour de France champion? Not Quite Yet, Oscar
Wait, just hold everything here. The Nation of France, postponing a major confrontation? That's odd. The air was thick with nervous anticipation (and, of course, fermented cheese) today as that country's national doping agency was expected to rule on Floyd Landis and the Urine Sample of Mystery. Black smoke from the chimney would mean Landis would be stripped of the title, white smoke meant we have a brand new Pope. More »
cycling
Apparently, There Are Blood Dopers In Cycling
So you know how Floyd Landis was tested positive for doping — kind of — after the Tour de France and they're probably going to give his title to the second place finisher? Well, turns out, that's probably not going to work either. More »
cycling
One Cycling Probe The French Won't Touch
If you've got some time, the Journal of Sexual Medicine needs your help. They need a term for the female version of "cycling penis," a condition which occurs when a cyclist spends too much time on a bicycle seat. We bring this to you via Dave Barry's blog, although Dave failed to note several key passages in the article. Such as: More »
cycling
You Cannot Hide From Lance Armstrong
Far be it from us to insinuate that Lance Armstrong is still in the heads of the French cycling establishment, but now they're accusing him of breaking into their email. More »
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