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My Dad Was The Maxell "Blown Away Guy," Even If I Can't Prove It

When I was little, I was convinced my dad was the Blown Away Guy. I was sure that was my dad’s martini swept up in the audio tempest, my dad’s tie thrashing behind him. The lush-haired guy in that ’80s-dominating ad for Maxell cassettes getting blasted by the music blasting from a pair of JBL speakers, the veritable… » 8/10/15 1:19pm 8/10/15 1:19pm

You Don't Have Daddy Issues But Your Piece of Shit Father Might

Until recently, I’d never been on the website AskMen.com, I suppose largely because I never had the occasion to ask a man anything. The site’s tagline touts that it is a place where men can become better men, though on my first visit I’m already suspicious that any of my questions will be answered or that I will… » 6/21/15 1:20pm 6/21/15 1:20pm

2 Chainz Is A Good Instagram Dad

So 2 Chainz is a rapper who changed his name from Tity Boi to be more family-friendly. Which is funny, and also not all that weird, when you think about both how much he wants to sell records and how much he loves his two daughters, Heaven and Harmony. If Instagram counted in real life, the Atlanta emcee would be Rap… » 3/05/15 4:40pm 3/05/15 4:40pm

Dads With Drones Are Ruining Christmas

Lots of thoughtful people gave their father a drone this Christmas, because they had already gotten him a Kindle last year and an iPad the year before that and you sort of stall out on gift ideas from there. But! Drones can be difficult, and dads can be clumsy*, and the result has been nationwide terror. » 12/26/14 10:12am 12/26/14 10:12am

A Holiday Gift Guide For Dads, Who Just Want You To Shut Up

As a dad, I can tell you that what your dad really wants is just a little goddamn peace and quiet so he can read a goddamn book/watch the game/just, like, sit for five minutes without you and your sister doing whatever the hell it is you're doing that's probably going to kill at least one and maybe both of you, for… » 12/04/14 3:17pm 12/04/14 3:17pm

Steve Ballmer Comes On Strong With The Embarrassing Dadness

Clippers owner Steve Ballmer was doing his Steve Ballmer thing throughout his team's home opener, but the highlight of his hootin' and hollerin' came right after the final whistle, when Ballmer wielded his daddish intensity (dadtensity) to embarrass and frighten his son, as all good dads know how to do. » 10/31/14 10:16am 10/31/14 10:16am

Madison Bumgarner's Dad Is The Best Sports Dad

One bizarre side effect of turning in one of the best postseason pitching runs in MLB history is that the New York Times will send a reporter out to North Carolina to interview your dad saying just the dad-est possible things. So meet Kevin Bumgarner, proud father of the reigning World Series MVP, whose opinion on… » 10/30/14 11:45am 10/30/14 11:45am

White And Needy: What I Learned From Richard Ford's Sportwriter Trilogy

Be they neurotic, tragic, horny, or (preferably) all of the above, white guys entering midlife have plenty of novels to reference on their journey. But John Updike's Rabbit series, Philip Roth's Nathan Zuckerman books, and the like don't offer real-world models of behavior any more than Slim Shady provides neat… » 7/31/14 11:34am 7/31/14 11:34am

Peyton Manning Scolds College Kids, Achieves Maximum Dadness

The New York Daily News has a cool story about hanging out at the Manning family's annual summer football camp—which is less of a camp at this point and more of a pilgrimage site for thousands of wannabe NFL players—and there are some entertaining anecdotes in there about Peyton, Eli, and Archie. But none surpass this… » 7/22/14 1:21pm 7/22/14 1:21pm

Why I Love So You Think You Can Dance, Dopey (Or Dead) Dads And All

Less than 10 minutes into the first episode of the 11th season of Fox's So You Think You Can Dance, a contestant's dad was onstage dancing to "Blurred Lines." To begin, he set a water bottle on the floor before him, and then, as though initiating an ancient mating ritual, he approached and hovered above that artifact… » 7/16/14 2:17pm 7/16/14 2:17pm