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Soccer Teen's Dad Tries To Sabotage Son's Move To Liverpool By Hiding His Passport

Despite the old adage “father knows best,” there comes a time in every child’s life when they are old enough to make their own decisions. At that point, father’s wisdom and guidance becomes less a mandate from your boss and more a word of advice to be weighed as lightly or heavily as the budding adult sees fit. The…

Jim Gaffigan Explains How The Heck He Travels With Five Kids

Comedian Jim Gaffigan and his wife Jeannie live in a two-bedroom New York City apartment with their five freaking kids. If that sounds like too much for you, wait until you hear that they regularly take the whole brood on the road. They once spent a summer together in a bus for Dad’s cross-country standup tour, and…

My Dad Was The Maxell "Blown Away Guy," Even If I Can't Prove It

When I was little, I was convinced my dad was the Blown Away Guy. I was sure that was my dad’s martini swept up in the audio tempest, my dad’s tie thrashing behind him. The lush-haired guy in that ’80s-dominating ad for Maxell cassettes getting blasted by the music blasting from a pair of JBL speakers, the veritable…

You Don't Have Daddy Issues But Your Piece of Shit Father Might

Until recently, I’d never been on the website AskMen.com, I suppose largely because I never had the occasion to ask a man anything. The site’s tagline touts that it is a place where men can become better men, though on my first visit I’m already suspicious that any of my questions will be answered or that I will…