Dads With Drones Are Ruining Christmas

Lots of thoughtful people gave their father a drone this Christmas, because they had already gotten him a Kindle last year and an iPad the year before that and you sort of stall out on gift ideas from there. But! Drones can be difficult, and dads can be clumsy*, and the result has been nationwide terror. » 12/26/14 10:12am 12/26/14 10:12am

A Holiday Gift Guide For Dads, Who Just Want You To Shut Up

As a dad, I can tell you that what your dad really wants is just a little goddamn peace and quiet so he can read a goddamn book/watch the game/just, like, sit for five minutes without you and your sister doing whatever the hell it is you're doing that's probably going to kill at least one and maybe both of you, for… » 12/04/14 3:17pm 12/04/14 3:17pm

Steve Ballmer Comes On Strong With The Embarrassing Dadness

Clippers owner Steve Ballmer was doing his Steve Ballmer thing throughout his team's home opener, but the highlight of his hootin' and hollerin' came right after the final whistle, when Ballmer wielded his daddish intensity (dadtensity) to embarrass and frighten his son, as all good dads know how to do. » 10/31/14 10:16am 10/31/14 10:16am

Madison Bumgarner's Dad Is The Best Sports Dad

One bizarre side effect of turning in one of the best postseason pitching runs in MLB history is that the New York Times will send a reporter out to North Carolina to interview your dad saying just the dad-est possible things. So meet Kevin Bumgarner, proud father of the reigning World Series MVP, whose opinion on… » 10/30/14 11:45am 10/30/14 11:45am

White And Needy: What I Learned From Richard Ford's Sportwriter Trilogy

Be they neurotic, tragic, horny, or (preferably) all of the above, white guys entering midlife have plenty of novels to reference on their journey. But John Updike's Rabbit series, Philip Roth's Nathan Zuckerman books, and the like don't offer real-world models of behavior any more than Slim Shady provides neat… » 7/31/14 11:34am 7/31/14 11:34am

Peyton Manning Scolds College Kids, Achieves Maximum Dadness

The New York Daily News has a cool story about hanging out at the Manning family's annual summer football camp—which is less of a camp at this point and more of a pilgrimage site for thousands of wannabe NFL players—and there are some entertaining anecdotes in there about Peyton, Eli, and Archie. But none surpass this… » 7/22/14 1:21pm 7/22/14 1:21pm

Why I Love So You Think You Can Dance, Dopey (Or Dead) Dads And All

Less than 10 minutes into the first episode of the 11th season of Fox's So You Think You Can Dance, a contestant's dad was onstage dancing to "Blurred Lines." To begin, he set a water bottle on the floor before him, and then, as though initiating an ancient mating ritual, he approached and hovered above that artifact… » 7/16/14 2:17pm 7/16/14 2:17pm

Mila Kunis Is Right: Dudes, Stop Saying 'We're Pregnant'

Pregnancy is a lot of things: A joy, a pain, a blessing, a curse. One thing it's not is simultaneously experienced physically by the dude who knocked you up, or whoever your partner in this crime is. So unless the you is two women who are actually both pregnant simultaneously, do us all a favor and stop saying "We're… » 6/13/14 6:16pm 6/13/14 6:16pm

Mike Tirico Raps About Drake, Achieves Supreme Dadness

It's not the rapping that makes Mike Tirico the biggest dad to have ever dadded in this clip, it's the ensuing faux-embarrassment, the point-by-point explanation of his joke, and the gleeful mention of his son and whatever extracurricular activity that son is currently engaged in. That's what we call hitting for the… » 5/05/14 2:24pm 5/05/14 2:24pm