See if you can cut through this wall of logic. Rose was on the Dan Patrick Show today and he explained why he thinks steroids are despicable. They affect records and records are sacred. (He's the hit king, so he should know.) They're illegal (he knows about that too) and they destroy the integrity of the game. (Yes, he actually used the word "integrity.") Most importantly, none of those things would apply to a manager who might have placed a friendly wager on his own team. I mean, how could a manager possibly have an influence on "the direct outcome" of a baseball game?

So that means he doesn't think Alex Rodriguez—an admitted PED user—should be allowed in the Hall of Fame, right? Whoa, whoa, whoa ... let's not be hasty here! He did still hit all those home runs. And you can't take away Barry Bonds' "sacred" home run record, just because he might have done something not good to get there. Rose says he would back A-Rod's candidacy for the Hall of Fame, even if he did do something far, far worse than betting on baseball.

Doesn't every man deserves a second chance?

Pete Rose Talks Roids, A-Rod Pitch Tipping, and Hit Streaks to Dan Patrick [Sports Radio Interviews]
Pete Rose: A-Rod shouldn't get cheated out of Hall of Fame [New York Daily News]
Pete Rose says Alex Rodriguez deserves to be in Hall of Fame [ESPN]

We get it. You love Kentucky. You wear tight shirts that say Kentucky across your boobs. Now stop yelling so much.

Moving on.

Judd went on the Dan Patrick show today to give the Calipari hire her blessing and the relayed a story about how she once almost broke an NCAA violation rule when she almost gave Tayshaun Prince's mother a ride.

From Sports Radio Interviews:

"I once offered Tayshaun Prince's mother a ride somewhere and someone came running up to me afterwards saying "Honey, you can't do that."… She's the most precious woman, she drove the public bus in the Nashville Public Transit System and didn't get to see Tayshaun play very much at at all…and I was going to be going over to the Kentucky game at the University of Tennessee, I offered her a ride and Sandy Bell, our NCAA officer…she just hustled her rear end right up to me and said "Babe, you cannot do that."

In the movie remake of this, Tayshaun Prince's mother will have some skeletons in her closet that the unassuming Ashley Judd won't find out about until it's too late. Sandy Bell will be played by Morgan Freeman.

Ashley Judd And Another Case Of The NCAA Being Ridiculous [SRI]

It was only earlier this year when we were being inundated with Sideline Princess pics from young men showing off how closely their wrap around Ms. Andrews' waist was at the time. Dan Patrick sees your tentative four-finger grip and comes back with, not only an additional Andrews sister, but a pose that in some social settings would be characterized as a full-on cuddle party.

When it comes to Dan Patrick, we're all inadequate amateurs, it seems. He did have them on his show today, but it appears they didn't even take the time to upload the Andrews segment online. You know, what's the point? The Danwich. Yer all amateurs!

*****************

Oh, and FYI about last night's DUAN that I yanked. So I received an email that said that Bob Ryan might have some cancer issues going on, hence the weird facial transmogrification. I felt pretty horrible. But he went on Around The Horn today and said that the shit going on with his face was a dermatological procedure done for preventative skin cancer reasons and that he's all good. Great news. So it's back up.

Anyway, thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Please go buy your kids some Craque. Not in Alabama, though, because they have some serious crack problems that are not as sweet and savory.

Patrick watched the BCS title game with EA and her sister from a private box, a fact that he mentioned briefly on his blog, which caused Busted Coverage to go into full stalker mode because that's what they do. Turns out that Kendra Andrews went to Florida State — which is interesting, since her sister attended the University of Florida — and is now a professional dancer, with no journalism ambitions.

Fun fact: At one time Erin wanted to train whales at Sea World.

So, between Kendra and Barbaro's younger brother, our next generation of SHOTY nominees is shaping up nicely.

DP Named Decisive National Champion [The Dan Patrick Blog]
Erin Andrews Has A Sister Named Kendra And Dan Patrick Got To Hang With Both At BCS [Busted Coverage]
Barbaro's Little Brothers Progressing [NTRA]

On Sturm's blog, he gives examples of ESPN's version of the power rankings, and compares that to his own feature. Despite a few cosmetic differences, they are pretty much identical.

"I'm not suggesting that ESPN deliberately set out to steal my idea, but the two things are very similar," said Sturm, co-host of the Bob and Dan Show on The Ticket 1310-AM, the highest-rated sports station in the Dallas-Fort Worth market. "And I certainly don't claim exclusive rights to this premise; I'm sure I'm not the only sports nerd in the world. But, it is almost identical. The only adjustment they made is starting the rankings in 1970, at the the NFL-AFL Merger, whereas I started mine with 1966, which is the season of Super Bowl I. That's a small change that doesn't make the feature any better, in my opinion."

Sturm said that he came up with the idea while playing around with concepts for his station's site in 2001. "I'm a pretty big sports nerd, so I'm always thinking about things like that," he said. "I thought it would be fun to work up a math ranking system for Super Bowl teams, so I came up with the NFL Power Rankings.

"I didn't know about the ESPN version until I got a bunch of emails from listeners (beginning on Tuesday). They were saying, 'They're ripping you off!' I don't know. I guess I feel flattered, like I'm doing something right. If you have shitty ideas no one cares about, then no one is going to take them, right?"

Sturm's power ranking formula goes like this: Each franchise gets one point for each season it makes the playoffs. Then if it reaches the conference championship game, it gets a total of three points. If it makes the Super Bowl it gets five, and if it wins the Super Bowl it wins the maximum total of points in a given year of 11. "It used to be 10 for the Super Bowl, but I have adjusted it this year because I didn’t like the idea that two Super Bowl losses equaled a Super Bowl win," Sturm said. "So, Now 11 points for a win and five for a loss in the Super Bowl."

ESPN's formula includes one point per mill of a team's regular-season winning percentage (a .500 team gets 500 points), Super Bowls: 50 points per win; 25 points per loss; playoff victories: 10 points per win (not including Super Bowls); 12-win season: 10 points for each season of 12 or more victories. Points also awarded for four-win seasons, All-Pro selections, and Monday Night Football appearances.

All in all a very similar concept.

Josh Krulewitz of ESPN had this to say on the matter: "I checked with editors and they say there's nothing to the "ripoff" claim. They weren't even aware of what this other site was doing."

But Sturm says that this isn't the first time that ESPN has poached his stuff.

"In 1999 I started doing a thing on the radio show called "Homer call of the week," Sturm said. "It's pretty much what the title implies. Dan Patrick pretty much ripped that off word for word in 2005 when he was on ESPN radio. His copy was so direct, they didn't even change the name that time. He did it for about two years until he left the station.

"The ironic thing is that Patrick is carried on our station now on tape delay," Sturm said. "Like I say,I'm not bitter or anything. We live in a time when your ideas go out on the web, and someone can take them and change it two percent and call it their own. It's not the greatest of worlds but it is what it is. In the final analysis, I'm flattered. At least someone likes my ideas."

Stop, Thief! [Bob's Blog Live From Lewisville]

Well tonight, America's left-leaning football nation will get a preview of their reunion, as DP pops into the studio at "Countdown With Keith Olbermann" to discuss the Brett Favre trade. I'm as curious as you are to find out how Favre-to-the-Jets is Rupert Murdoch's fault.

Official Site [Countdown With Keith Olbermann]

"My job is not to break down the game," Patrick said. "If i don't know, I'll ask. If Jason doesn't know, he didn't ask. He just wrote it."

Now, when quoted, it appears there's a little feud going on between these two. Not the case at all, according to some of the show's producers. Patrick goes on to say , ”I love Whitlock because he brings an opinion and that he’s not scared. You may not agree with his opinion, but he makes you think.”

In fact, when Patrick starts his summer vacation, Whitlock has been contacted about doing fill-in work. Also, guest-hosting for Patrick during his summer break? None other than Tony Bruno, who will guest host Wednesday through Friday. Glad somebody is finally returning his phone calls.

Dan Patrick To Jason Whitlock: 'Don't Tell Me I Don't Know How To Do Highlights' [MDS' Fanhouse]
Patrick Throws Down The Gauntlet [PFT]

Torres appeared on Dan Patrick's show today to speak about the myriad questions the media "has to ask" her in order to convince them (and all the non-believers) in her un-enhanced athletic ability.

Torres says she's taking a "proactive" approach, asking for any and all tests available to prove that, yes, she's actually a 41-year-old mother of two who is beating women almost half her age in her sport. "If I was taking something, do you think I would ask to be tested?" , she said. Torres said the only things she puts in her body (besides food and babies) are "Protein, amino acids, and vitamins."

The SF Gate's Gwen Knapp — who recently called Tiger Woods an idiot — says there'sabsolutely a double standard in the way Torres is being treated:

Performance alone rarely triggers widespread suspicion in the media, but it sufficed for accusations against Torres and, 20 years ago, Florence Griffith-Joyner. The same scrutiny does not apply to men until they have a failed test on their record, federal investigators on their tails or a member of their entourage under indictment.

Unfortunately, there aren't enough tests out there for Torres to take. It's not because she's a woman, but since the media threw its arms around so many seemingly miraculous heroes so many times, only to find them pop up on an HGH list here, in the cellphones of an indicted personal trainer there, it's harder than every for stories that are too good to be true to be anything but fairy tales. Sucks for her, but that's the price you pay for being absurdly great at something.

Dara Torres Gives Dan A Hard Time [SI]
Is Dara Torres Clean? I'm a believer [MSNBC}
Does Dara Torres Suffer From A Double Standard Of Doping Scrutiny? [Steroid Nation]

According to NBC Sports, Patrick will reunite with Olbermann as part of NBC Sports "Football Night In America" broadcast starting this fall. Yes, it's true: Patrick and Olbermann will tag-team the highlights and, once again, unleash their highly-evolved brain power upon an unsuspecting sports nation. But it's not the 90's anymore. Can these two recapture the magic (and the mustache) they once shared without the show devolving into some egocentric meta-ranting designed only to amuse themselves? Will the suits at NBC worry that the non-reading football audience will feel too stupid to watch?

It's time to dust off your library cards, America.

Patrick Joins NBC, Reunites With Olbermann [NBC Sports]

You can spend the rest of the night staring at that ruined ball, dreaming of a better tomorrow, and praying for Chris Snyder.

Also, if anyone is not doing anything firework-related and would like to sit inside and watch sports all weekend while writing on this site, please feel free to hit me up.

Considering this is the freewheeling managerial style I'm adopting during this transitional period, the chances of you getting paid before 2010 are rather slim. Those who are interested, however, should feel free to drop a line.

Dan Patrick Interviews Jeff Idelson [SI.com]

You know, here's an official challenge for the World of Internet. Can anybody dig up a photo of Dan Patrick from that old Friday's commercial in which he has barbecue sauce all over his face? We bet Patrick doesn't do that commercial in the day of the Web. (Speaking of which ... we've also been looking for video of Keith Olbermann's old fast food chicken ads. Remember those?)

And now Patrick is a radio guy, and an SI guy, and a man whose voice charms Joe "Balls Deep" Buck.

So: Do you like the Dan Patrick? Do you not like the Dan Patrick? Let us know.

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SI announced today that Patrick is being brought into the fold, joining the magazine after the new year and doing work for SI.com after the Super Bowl. The site will stream his radio show and host DanPatrick.com.

We think Patrick's a logical fit for SI, though we wonder how the Gary Smiths will handle yet another move toward "personality" over there. But mostly: We wonder how Rick Reilly's gonna handle not being the big dog over there. We imagine him in his foyer, writing standup comedy material and slowly, meticulously, planning Patrick's demise.

Apparently, he's gonna go the nationally syndicated route.

Dan Patrick, who's leaving the network after 18 years as one of its biggest stars, soon will announce his new deal: He'll continue in radio and launch a new nationally syndicated program via Chicago-based Content Factory. Jimmy deCastro, the former radio czar who ran Evergreen Media, Chancellor Media, AMFM Inc. and America Online, heads the independent media venture.

Frankly, we've never heard of the "Content Factory" — snappy name, though! Creative types love it when you call what they do "content" — and don't quite understand the move for Patrick. Though, frankly, we're probably just still pissy that he didn't take "The Price Is Right" job.

Dan Patrick Already Got A Job [The Big Lead]

So as you know, this year's event begins on Thursday, and I'll be there once again. And so will you; and for once you'll actually have something substantial to talk about. So let's agree to meet on the practice tees on Thursday, say, 10-ish? I'll bring the notepad, you bring the dry wit. Then we can finally put this ugly incident behind us.

Unless of course Lucas Black happens to show up then.

Dan Patrick, Celebrity Golf Interview Dork Dodger [Deadspin]
Baby You Can Sign My Card [Deadspin]

Apparently, some disagree; TravelGolf writer Chris Baldwin tried to interview Patrick at the Lake Tahoe Celebrity Golf tournament over the summer — like our own Rick Chandler — and was rebuffed. Baldwin didn't handle the rejection well.

Having interviewed everyone from Rush Limbaugh to Justin Timberlake to Roger Clemens to Bode Miller on the course, there is one clearcut egomaniac of all egomaniacs. Take a bow, ESPN SportsCenter czar and self-appointed funny man Dan Patrick. That's right, no super talented athlete, pop mega star or political pundit can compare to Patrick in jerk rating.

My encounter with the man obsessed with his own hair came at the American Century Championship in Lake Tahoe over the summer. In dozens of celebrities approached, Patrick was the only one who blew off the idea of an interview.

We're not sure skipping out on an interview at a celebrity golf tournament is quite enough to classify one as "the No. 1 pompous jerk," but it does give us an excuse to run this closeup picture of Patrick's head.

By the way, outstanding timing on this story, writing about an event from July in November.

ESPN SportsCenter King Dan Patrick The No. 1 Pompous jerk In Celebrity Golf [TravelGolf]
Baby You Can Sign My Card [Deadspin]

Here's your little blast for the past today: As difficult as it is to believe that Hootie and the Blowfish were ever considered cool — we're not sure that actually ever happened — it's, these days, just as difficult to comprehend ESPN being, you know, down with the kids. These two unique cultural curiosities intersected in this famous music video, which we suspect you haven't seen in a long, long time.

We've heard that even the magazine's staffers recognize how horrible the mugshots are; they're going to be gone from the next issue. We suggest they just use an Etch-a-Sketch this time.

Poll results are below.

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Poll: Scariest ESPN Mag Mugshots [Deadspin]

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Keith: It's very difficult to be the smartest person in this room right now.
Keith's Other Voice: I know. It is our curse

But we very much enjoyed this clip from "The Dan Patrick Show," where Olbermann surprises gubernatorial "candidate" Lynn Swann with some, you know, actual questions. A reader sums it up for us.

Around 2:20 p.m. ET last Friday, Patrick introduces Swann on the show. Patrick said (in a humorous tone) that, in light of the Swann's prior work with ABC and Disney, he was going to have OIbermann ask Swann questions. Swann seemed to think that this was going to be lightweight question theater (he joked to Patrick that he didn't know he'd changed to a news show). Olbermann's first question was on the current dispute between McCain/Warner/Graham and the Bush administration on the administration appearing to disregard an act of Congress: What did Swann think about the split within the Republican party, and which side was he on? Swann spouted a non-answer and ended the answer with the statement that it wasn't a state issue, so it didn't really matter to the Swann campaign.

Olbermann, in one of the sweetest comebacks I've heard in a long time, responded that if Swann wanted a state question, he had one: Senator Rick Santorum is talking smack about going after federal funding for New Jersey if they won't agree to dredge the Delaware River. What does Swann think about that? Swann was silent for four beats, then said that he had been on a bus, and he hadn't seen the papers (even though it's been a contentious issue for close to a month), and he really didn't know anything about the issue Olbermann was talking about. Olbermann, very quietly and with as much polite snark as he could possibly get away with, suggested that Swann may want to make a note of that one, and threw it back to Patrick with the question, "Are you glad you wanted to do that now?"

To be fair, political questions are really hard.

You're Doing A Heckuva Job, Swanny [Deadspin]