The buzz surrounding tonight's card is new to me. I don't go looking for MMA news, but I'll note it when it pops up on the mainstream sports media sites, or even in non-news outlets (like Time's 1000 word-piece this week). But I've known about this event for a while now, even know a lot of the names involved.

A little perspective: insiders are pegging the PPV buy rate tonight at possibly more than a million. Those would be huge numbers: HBO's heavily hyped Pacquiao/Hatton bout in May took in around 850,000. The all time record is held by De La Hoya/Mayweather in 2007, with 2.4 million buys. Will you be buying it, or at least streaming the torrent? Will you be talking about it at work on Monday?

And can UFC really lay claim to being MMA's premier league without having MMA's premier fighter? Fedor Emelianenko is the fighting world's biggest name, and most dominant athlete. He's 30-1 with five wins over former UFC champions. Can the winner of tonight's Brock Lesnar-Frank Mir bout really be the best in the world without ever facing off against Fedor?

Says Dana White:

Let me put it to you this way. I've done fight contracts with all the best fighters in the world," he said, working his way to the knockout blow. "With big huge superstars - Brock Lesnar, Chuck Liddell, the list goes on and on. Who the fuck is Fedor? Are you serious? The guys who fight for me have a chance to make a lot more money fighting with me than with anybody else. If he signed with us, he'd find his place in history, find out if he really is the best heavyweight in the world. It's all semantics. It's all bullshit."

The future of Fedor, and the quality of tonight's fights could decide an awful lot about the path of MMA in this country. We'll be watching.

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The first one is a story from his recent, excellent book on the UFC, "Blood In The Cage," regarding an old judo master who made Steven Seagal poop himself. Nice.

The second story involves Rasheed Wallace back in his days playing for the Trail Blazers. Early in Wallace's career, he was involved in a nasty child custody battle with his baby mama. That woman ended up kidnapping Wallace's son. Wertheim, working for SI, was sent to Portland to cover the story of the kidnapping. Wallace agreed to cooperate with the story as a way of raising awareness of his son's disappearance. (He had, in fact, gone on live TV to ask people to help in the return of his son).

But when Wertheim got to Portland, Wallace told him that, before anything, he had to go out bowling that night with Gary Trent and Isaiah Rider. So Wertheim, in his rental car, followed the three players in their SUV as they made their way to the alley. Only they couldn't find the alley, so the three players then decided to stop the car RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING STREET while they tried to sort out where the alley was.

One motorist honked at the players to get moving. In response, Rider proceeded to hock a loogie on the motorist's windshield.

Oh, Isaiah. Don't you ever change. Wallace eventually found his son and gained full custody. Not before bowling a 132, one would assume.

Wertheim and I also discuss how Dana White's online tirade against reporter Loretta Hunt affects the UFC, amateur MMA night at rural strip clubs, the future of Sports Illustrated, his new book on Federer/Nadal, and lots more.

This week's podcast is available for your listening pleasure right here. You can also find the new Deadcast in the iTunes Music Store here. Special thanks to Liberated Syndication for hosting us. Got an email for me or next week's guest (Stefan Fatsis) you want read over the air? Send it to me here. Now sit back, relax, and listen to Jon's loogie story.

Hunt wrote a story on Sherdog.com accusing the UFC of banning managers and agents from backstage areas during events, which I guess is some kind of scandalous tragedy. White denied the whole thing in his own adorable way, calling the story "fucking retarded" and calling Hunt a "dumb bitch." Well then.

This video was scrubbed from a portion of his longer video blog (since taken down), but he manages an impressive 42 uses of some variation of the word "fuck" in just a few short minutes. Here's just a selection of comments he had for Loretta:

"fucking retarded story ... you fucking moron ... fucking dumb ... you don't know what the fuck you're talking about ... shut the fuck up ... whoever gave you that quote is a pussy and a fucking faggot and a fucking liar ... maybe you're the liar ... everything that comes out of your mouth is fucking stupid ... You fucking dumb bitch. Fuck you, Loretta Hunt."

White is the Vince McMahon-like leader of UFC, serving as both the business head and public face of MMA's biggest ongoing series. One blogger calls this his "Bissinger" moment, but for that to be correct someone would have to actually be shocked by this behavior. White was featured in the book "Six-Word Memoirs" with his entry: "Took a spectacle. Made it sport," but it sounds like he's regressing back to spectacle.

On the other hand, why can't someone put a camera on Roger Goodell and get him to say what he really feels about Chris Mortensen? Now there's your pay per view event.

White's incendiary comments are offensive and alienating [Cagewriter]
Dana White 's Buzz Bissinger moment [Watch Kalib Run]
UFC's White Calls Reporter a "F-ing Dumb Bitch" [SbB]
Some Managers, Agents Lose Backstage Pass [Sherdog]

Dana White, UFC's cueballed, loudmouthed promoter, has also held a negative opinion of Kimbo, but in a phone interview on Friday he said he'd absolutely consider letting Chuck pound on him if Slice got some legit wins.

"If he [Kimbo] fought anybody that mattered, I would book that tomorrow," he said.

White says he knows how much interest would be in that fight, but given Kimbo's weak all-around fighting skills and the fact that he's under contract by EliteXC (a fighting organization which White said, thrives on booking " freak show bouts" ), it would take a little bit of time.

First and foremost, Kimbo has to become a better fighter.

"The fact is, Kimbo's not there yet. He would get destroyed. I heard he just got knocked out by Forrest Griffin last week in a sparring match after a kick to the head, " he said. White said Kimbo's bout with a clearly out-of-shape Tank Abbot last February was proved absolutely nothing.

"Tank Abbott?! I mean, come on. That guy was a bad UFC fighter. A friend of mine said he was out at a bar the week before that fight and he saw Tank there drinking beers. He went up to him and was like 'Aren't you supposed to be fighting Kimbo soon?," White said.

So, for right now, Kimbo Slice vs. Chuck Liddell is a little while away. Slice is scheduled to fight James "Megapunk"Thompson on May 31st on CBS, a bout that will be Kimbo's toughest professional one so far in his short career. If Kimbo takes care of business during that fight and shows some marked improvements, expect the rumors to resurface — and White to reconsider.

"I'd take him [Kimbo] absolutely seriously — but, again, he hasn't beat anybody. In this sport, it's all about 'Who have you beat right now?" And he hasn't beat anbody."

Let's hope Kimbo beats the crap out of Thompson and shows some real skill besides his devastating punching power. Because if Kimbo vs. Liddell actually happened, it would absolutely be the most watched, most hyped, most talked about MMA fight in its short history — even if KImbo gets annihilated in 20 seconds.