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New York, 12:16 AM
Thu Dec 3
22 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of BigRicks BigRicks
    11/11/09

    In reply to If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
    Rooting for Marist sports consists of reminding everyone Rik Smits went there. That's about it. Terribly depressing. My Uconn fandom didn't drop one iota while I was there. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    BigRicks was starred BigRicks was unstarred
    Image of Clarence Rosario Clarence Rosario
    11/10/09

    In reply to If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
    Just when I think you're a low-brow jerk that I can relate to, you throw completely apropos references to True Romance and The Road into the same post.

    Confirming that you're OBVIOUSLY a low-brow jerk that I can relate to. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Clarence Rosario was starred Clarence Rosario was unstarred
    Image of Richard Starkey Richard Starkey
    11/10/09

    @Clarence Rosario: True Romance is such a good fucking movie. I've had dreams where some chick told me I was so cool. Unfortunately for me though I'm not, so they don't.
     Reply
    Clarence Rosario promoted this comment Edited by Richard Starkey at 11/10/09 6:43 PM Richard Starkey was starred Richard Starkey was unstarred
    Image of elwaysbitch elwaysbitch
    11/10/09

    In reply to If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
    "I have done this while driving, but only when out on the highway, with no traffic blockages. You're going one speed, there's constant passing, etc. Doing it in the middle of urban traffic? That's fucking repugnant and you should be jailed.I feel very proud of myself after a highway jerk. Very productive."Okay. I read this feature every week. As a woman, I laugh and enjoy the obvious poop obsessions, pot predicaments and the sharing of the trials and tribulations involved in masturbating. In all seriousness, I have never heard of men jerking off in cars. This is a common practice? I could be driving next to you on 66 and you might be wailing away? Holy shit. I really wish I did not know this. Holy shit. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Drew Magary promoted this comment Edited by elwaysbitch at 11/10/09 3:58 PM elwaysbitch was starred elwaysbitch was unstarred
    Image of iantenna iantenna
    11/10/09

    @elwaysbitch: it's pretty much the only reason single men will own a minivan, and the one reason i'm sad i own an escort. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Clarence Rosario promoted this comment iantenna was starred iantenna was unstarred
    Image of Clarence Rosario Clarence Rosario
    11/10/09

    @iantenna: I thought escorts were rental-only by definition?
     Reply
    Edited by Clarence Rosario at 11/10/09 4:48 PM Clarence Rosario was starred Clarence Rosario was unstarred
    Image of iantenna iantenna
    11/10/09

    @Clarence Rosario: not if they're from 1990. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    iantenna was starred iantenna was unstarred
    Image of Drew Magary Drew Magary
    11/10/09

    @elwaysbitch: Oy. It was a six hour drive to Colby every semester. I'm not made of STONE. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Drew Magary was starred Drew Magary was unstarred
    Image of elwaysbitch elwaysbitch
    11/10/09

    @Drew Magary:
    No, just SPERM. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    elwaysbitch was starred elwaysbitch was unstarred
    Image of Hustler of Culture Hustler of Culture
    11/10/09

    In reply to If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
    "Nope. Poop is ergonomically designed for easy flushing, with its snakelike contours. I say it's not possible"

    It is possible - my little brother did it. And I can say is...some things you can't unsee. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Hustler of Culture was starred Hustler of Culture was unstarred
    Image of Ken Gryphon Jr. Ken Gryphon Jr.
    11/10/09

    In reply to If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
    I went to the University of Arizona for undergrad and we had a Chipotle right off campus that my friends and I would frequent at least once a day.

    So...you had Mexico a hop, skip, and jump away and you ate effing Chipotle everyday? As a northerner who can't get good Mexican anywhere, shame on you sir. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Clarence Rosario promoted this comment Ken Gryphon Jr. was starred Ken Gryphon Jr. was unstarred
    Image of When_you_get_the_money_you_get_the_Micah_Hoffpauir When_you_get_the_money_you_get_the_Micah_Hoffpauir
    11/10/09

    In reply to If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
    This is oddly shaping into FKS 2.0 and I am ok with it. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Drew Magary promoted this comment When_you_get_the_money_you_get_the_Micah_Hoffpauir was starred When_you_get_the_money_you_get_the_Micah_Hoffpauir was unstarred
    Image of Drew Magary Drew Magary
    11/10/09

    @When_you_get_the_money_you_get...: That was the idea. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Drew Magary was starred Drew Magary was unstarred
    Image of When_you_get_the_money_you_get_the_Micah_Hoffpauir When_you_get_the_money_you_get_the_Micah_Hoffpauir
    11/11/09

    @Drew Magary: Well, that is awesome. FKS pretty much changed my perception of writing (I was working for a newspaper at the time). I never laughed so hard in my life. So thanks. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    When_you_get_the_money_you_get_the_Micah_Hoffpauir was starred When_you_get_the_money_you_get_the_Micah_Hoffpauir was unstarred
    Image of ChuckKnoblauchThrowingError ChuckKnoblauchThrowingError
    11/10/09

    In reply to If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
    Nope. Poop is ergonomically designed for easy flushing, with its snakelike contours. I say it's not possible.

    I do this/have this happen to me at least 3 times a year. And it's not so much the size as it is the density. Of course size does play a factor...but if you can manage to squeeze one out that has roughly the same geological makeup as the carbon plate on the asteroid in Armageddon that the second shuttle landed on when it overshot its landing zone, then you stand a pretty good shot.

    In a completely related story, you might remember me as the guy who, a couple months ago, said it's not uncommon for him to go 3-5 days without shitting.

    [deadspin.com] #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Pedro Cuatro Cinco promoted this comment ChuckKnoblauchThrowingError was starred ChuckKnoblauchThrowingError was unstarred
    Image of Pedro Cuatrocinco Pedro Cuatrocinco
    11/10/09

    @ChuckKnoblauchThrowingError: You are my hero, sir. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Pedro Cuatrocinco was starred Pedro Cuatrocinco was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    11/10/09

    In reply to If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
    forcing him to just say fuck it cuz he's a Chipotle worker

    Dude, way to prey on a wage slave's increasing sense of self loathing! And way to spell "cause" with only three letters! High fives!
     Reply
    Edited by MarkKelsosMigraine at 11/10/09 2:42 PM MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of Bobby Big Wheel Bobby Big Wheel
    11/10/09

    In reply to If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
    I was an August baby, and my mother never forgets to remind me how awful it was being 8-9 months pregnant in July and August. That's why your wife wants to wait a few months until your seed finds purchase in her womb. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel was starred Bobby Big Wheel was unstarred
    Image of David Hume David Hume
    11/10/09

    In reply to If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
    No, you gotta hit the kitchen and do that clenched asswalk.

    Agreed, but assuming this is a typical dudes-living-together housemate situation, is he obligated to pull up his trousers and risk getting shit on the undies? I've always left the pants and underwear in the bathroom, covered my junk with hands and hustled into the kitchen. Have I been doing it wrong? Should I not cover my junk? #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    David Hume was starred David Hume was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    11/10/09

    @David Hume: By typical dudes-living-together housemate situation, you are referring to the 12 Honduran men I generously rent my crawlspace to, right? #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of David Hume David Hume
    11/10/09

    @MarkKelsosMigraine: Your use of 'rent my crawlspace to' is taking sexual euphemisms to exciting new heights.

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to enjoy a cigar in my man-cave. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    David Hume was starred David Hume was unstarred
    Image of Dany Heatley Speedwagon Dany Heatley Speedwagon
    11/10/09

    In reply to If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
    I stopped reading at "no cold cuts". I'm currently searching the yellow pages for a good divorce attorney. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Dany Heatley Speedwagon was starred Dany Heatley Speedwagon was unstarred
    Image of P. Escobar, Jets Fan P. Escobar, Jets Fan
    11/10/09

    @Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Throw cheese in there, too. Not kidding. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    P. Escobar, Jets Fan was starred P. Escobar, Jets Fan was unstarred
    Image of Senators Lost Cojones Senators Lost Cojones
    11/10/09

    @Dany Heatley Speedwagon: You made it past "no booze"?? You sir, are a stronger man than I. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Senators Lost Cojones was starred Senators Lost Cojones was unstarred
    Image of Bobby Big Wheel Bobby Big Wheel
    11/10/09

    In reply to If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
    Krampus: if you get us the Whalers back, we'll shut up. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel was starred Bobby Big Wheel was unstarred
    Image of P. Escobar, Jets Fan P. Escobar, Jets Fan
    11/10/09

    @Bobby Big Wheel: I will even selflessly agree to allow the women's team to stop playing. That's just the kind of guy I am. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    P. Escobar, Jets Fan was starred P. Escobar, Jets Fan was unstarred
    Image of The Krampus The Krampus
    11/10/09

    @Bobby Big Wheel: Losing the Whale was a travesty, but you miss the point. You had a reason to root, fervently, for them, because they were the pro team in your area, and pro team affiliation is mostly determined by geography. I also had no problem with the Yanks, Sox, Giants, and Pats fans when I lived in CT. But if you're going to get 'Doron Scheffer' tattooed on your ass, you should have at least attended the institution. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel promoted this comment The Krampus was starred The Krampus was unstarred
    Image of Bobby Big Wheel Bobby Big Wheel
    11/10/09

    @The Krampus: I'm not getting a tattoo on my ass, but I had gone to UConn games since I was 6 years old. I'm supposed to stop rooting for them because I went somewhere else for college? #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel was starred Bobby Big Wheel was unstarred
    Image of The Krampus The Krampus
    11/10/09

    @Bobby Big Wheel: If somewhere else had a basketball team, then yes. If not, feel free to be a UConn well-wisher, but don't go overboard with it. I'm not talking about casual rooting (like I do with ND). I'm talking about obsessive interest in the team, which is rampant throughout the state. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    The Krampus was starred The Krampus was unstarred
    Image of Bobby Big Wheel Bobby Big Wheel
    11/10/09

    @The Krampus: As Drew points out, what else are you going to obsess about in Connecticut? The Sun? The Rock Cats? Sure, you can adopt a pro team from another state, but it's a hassle going to games in Boston or New York. And most people choose which college to go to when they're 17 years old. 17-year-olds don't know shit.

    Also, that 1999 championship team came just 2 years after the state lost the Whalers and the team became a point of pride for a state that had just gotten beaten down in the sports world. That's probably why so many in the state go overboard on UConn. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel was starred Bobby Big Wheel was unstarred
    Image of The Krampus The Krampus
    11/10/09

    @Bobby Big Wheel: Good points, but:
    I lived in CT in the early-to-mid 90's, before the championship and while the Whalers were there. That is the period when I interacted with legions of UConn douches. Also, nobody cared about the Whalers when they were actually there.
    East coast people have cute notions about places being "far" from each other. It is not a pain in the ass to get from where 95% of the population of CT lives to NY or Boston. Try living in Albuquerque or Fresno and getting to a game. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    The Krampus was starred The Krampus was unstarred
    Image of Bobby Big Wheel Bobby Big Wheel
    11/10/09

    @The Krampus: Many people cared about the Whalers while they were there. Enough to fill their dump of an arena to 95% of capacity even as they didn't make the playoffs the last 5 years of their existence. There wasn't much to brag about though, which is why you probably weren't annoyed by them.

    From where I lived in the state it was about a 2 hour drive to New York or Boston, plus game day traffic. And we were Giants fans and getting to and from Giants Stadium is a nightmare no matter where you come from. Meanwhile it took us all of ten minutes to get to the Civic Center, thirty to Gampel. Just because we're closer to a team than Fresno doesn't mean it's not a hassle to get to games out of state. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel was starred Bobby Big Wheel was unstarred
    Image of The Krampus The Krampus
    11/10/09

    @Bobby Big Wheel: You seem like the kind of fan who wouldn't have annoyed me (since you actually went to games - most of the UConn Douches I knew never did) but I must contest some of these points.
    Whalers fans didn't annoy me because I didn't care about hockey and only knew 3 people who did. The Whale had a fiercely loyal core fan base, but it came nowhere close to the ubiquity of UConn fandom. Everyone I knew who liked basketball liked UConn, and at most 25% of them went there or had immediate relatives who went there.
    I knew many devoted Yankee fans (way more than Whalers fans) who drove an hour and a half to games all the time. I have no problem with this, because it's a PRO team. College super-fandom should be for current or former college students.
    Can we at least agree that people who live in Syracuse are insufferable, and should be sterilized? #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    The Krampus was starred The Krampus was unstarred
    Image of Bobby Big Wheel Bobby Big Wheel
    11/10/09

    @The Krampus: Yes, Cuse sucks a fat one. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel was starred Bobby Big Wheel was unstarred
    Image of Theodore Donald Kerabatsos Theodore Donald Kerabatsos
    11/10/09

    @The Krampus: What if one was a UConn fan for one's entire life (in addition to being a Whale fan) and didn't go to UConn because it was a backup school? Should one really have to choose between a superior education and sports team loyalty? I went to a school with a Div. I basketball team, but we haven't made the tourney since 1996. Can you really begrudge my UConn fandom? I had a Chris Smith jersey when I was a kid for chrissakes. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Theodore Donald Kerabatsos was starred Theodore Donald Kerabatsos was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    11/10/09

    @Bobby Big Wheel: Nice. You just hurt UkraineNotWeak's feelings. And mine. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of StuScott Booyahs StuScott Booyahs
    11/10/09

    In reply to If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
    He came down to tell the housekeeper there was no need to spray, and he didn't want to take Snyder's money for a service the Redskins owner didn't need performed

    Ten minutes later, the exterminator walked out of the house with a bewildered look on his face and a six-year, $142 million contract in his hand. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    StuScott Booyahs was starred StuScott Booyahs was unstarred
    Image of ScientificMapp ScientificMapp
    11/10/09

    In reply to If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
    she wants the baby to be born around October. Why, I have no idea

    R-O-M-A-N-C-A-S-T-E-V-E-T #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    ScientificMapp was starred ScientificMapp was unstarred
    Image of Drew Magary Drew Magary
    11/10/09

    @ScientificMapp: I forgot to mention. The whole I WANT A CHILD ON THIS EXACT DATE thing that women do is insane. They all want the baby to born at a specific time. LET NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE, LADY. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    Drew Magary was starred Drew Magary was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    11/10/09

    In reply to If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
    There's no, "Make a dress out of medical waste" type challenges

    Because Damien Hirst has cornered the market. #openmailbagtuesday
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
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