Deadspin
-
daunte culpepper
Daunte Culpepper's Rather Depressing Email Retirement
The starnge, sometimes brilliant career of quarterback Daunte Culpepper — who played Butch to Randy Moss' Sundance in six seasons with the Vikings — has announced his retirement. It wasn't at a press conference, but in an email to NFL.com reporter Adam Schefter. Replaced by Trent Green in Miami, a backup with the Raiders ... yeah, that would do it for me too. And so that one guy in your fantasy pool who always drafts a big name free agent in the hopes that he'll pull out a Comeback Player of the Year season is foiled again. I hated that guy anyway. More »
5,657
51
Comment by Sports-Pun: He's retiring from email? What's he gonna use to communicate, signal flags? 4 Responses | Other threads
-
fantasy madness
The Fantasy Assassins
Considering most of you — unless you happened to draft using Yahoo's fantasy game last night — have already held your fantasy football drafts, you are, today, in the lone moment over the next three months when you won't be tinkering with your team. Right now, you are strong; your team is awesome! And then ... More »
9,742
By LeitchComment by J. Walter Weatherman: @Rob Iracane: DITTO to that Iracane. I wouldn't touch Shawn with Shaquille Oneal's 10 foot newly ring-less pole. more » | Other threads
-
nfl
An Odd Way To Get Your Coach Off Your Back
Because we're just the kind of sniggering, obnoxious, wisenheimer 14-year-olds you think we are, we thought we'd giggle a bit this morning at Steelers lineback Joey Porter, who is in serious danger of becoming a staple around these parts. More »
548
By LeitchComment by Permanent4: They kissed me in Denver!!! Someone needs to dig up that old Saturday Night Live sketch where Joe Piscopo kissed Don... more » | Other threads
-
nfl
Culpepper Now Free To Have Naked Women Dance In His General Vicinity (But There, And Only There)
New Dolphins quarterback Daunte Culpepper need not worry about the potential new ramifications of the term "lap dance" from jail; he has been cleared of all charges in the sex boat incident. His former teammate Moe Williams was not so lucky; he'll still have to strand trial, along with decidedly more ribald charges against Fred "Double Header" Smoot and Bryant McKinnie. More »
2,367
By LeitchComment by The Big Picture: you've gotta think ricky williams needs to get in on this somehow. perhaps he likes double-dippers too and they can... more » | Other threads
-
nfl
What Is A Lap Dance? You Know, In An Existential Sense, Aren't We All Just God's Lap Dancers?
So the Vikings sex boat trial in Minnesota is going on, like, right now. Well, kind of; former quarterback Daunte Culpepper and fullback Moe Williams are trying to talk a judge into dismissing charges against them. The two players were charged, pretty much, with receiving lap dances, which has spun our legal system into motion: They've spent all morning attempting to define what a "lap dance" is. It's pretty great. More »
1,003
By LeitchComment by Full Metal Slacker: I got married in Minneapolis, and now I am remembering the complete lack of fun that it provides as a... more » | Other threads
-
nfl
Culpepper To Spend Plenty Of Time Near Water
The Orlando Sentinel and FOX Sports are reporting that the trade is official: Daunte Culpepper has been traded to the Miami Dolphins. More » -
nfl
The Sex Boat Story Will Never Go Away. Awesome.
Is it possible to ever get tired of the Vikings sex boat story? We think it's not. We're pretty sure, actually. More »
2,461
By LeitchComment by Tugged At Mets Fan: I think that the whole "driving with a tit in your mouth" concept ought to be expanded. This could... more » | Other threads
-
nfl
Culpepper: Lap Dances? Who, Me?
We don't want to overstate — and it probably won't happen, anyway — but if Vikings sex boat gods Daunte Culpepper and Bryant McKinnie get their way, we might be in for the real trial of the century. More »
435
By LeitchComment by Yankeebunny: what an embarrassment and a blight on the franchise, team and sport. fools. where is MY jury notice? more » | Other threads
-
-
nfl
The Vikings Meet The Seventh Floor Crew
Sometimes, someone comes up with a concept that's so perfectly in our sweet spot that we can merely stand up and salute, and that's really saying something, because we spend the whole day on our ass. More »
758
By LeitchComment by Moonshine Mike: I'll have to admit the song beats the latest from Bootsy - but just barely. Bootsy needs a... more » | Other threads
-
nfl
Your Takes On The Sex Boat Wrapup
We love doing this site, but, to be honest, what we might love the most are you, the readers. Your comments are the highlights of our days, and not just because you're funnier than we are. We thought we'd take this opportunity to showcase our personal favorite slices of hilarity from today's earlier post about the Vikings' sex boat. And thank you. More » -
nfl
The Full Report On The Sex Boat
So, hey, anybody else actually dug into these whole Vikings criminal complaints, the ones The Smoking Gun grabbed? If you haven't yet, we suggest you do, because it's even more entertaining than you thought. But, we understand, you're very busy at work today. So allow us to help you out. We've dug through, and here's the highlights, on each player. And it's all written in legalese, which somehow makes it funnier. More » -
nfl
Sex Boat Case Sails Off
It's a sad day when you can't take your rookie teammates out for a little Lake Minnetonka party with a bunch of whores. This goddamned Internet is invading everybody's privacy. More » -
nfl
Your Vikings Orgy Memento
The bid is only up to $5.95, and, quite frankly, we find that number unacceptable. Currently on eBay: a commemorative Vikings sex cruise T-shirt, or, as the sellers call it, the "Coochie Cruise '05." More » -
nfl
A View From Inside The Vikings Sex Boat
From the great NFL Wives Club Yahoo Group comes this missive from a woman who was actually on the Vikings sex boat: More »
661
By LeitchComment by Kyle Bunch: So if I understand this all correctly, the takeaway lesson is: Randy Moss = winning games/no orgies. No Randy Moss... more » | Other threads
-
nfl
Vikings In Desperate Need Of Dramamine
All kinds of developments from the Vikings orgy boat story over the weekend. The highlights: More » -
nfl
NFL Roundup: Daunte's Blues
• If you somehow were able to make an emotionless, painless robot clone of Bea Arthur, and you pounded that clone in the face with a polo mallet for 25 minutes, then slammed that head in a car door 15 times, then severed the head with an exceptionally long and sharp toenail, then put the head in a microwave until it began to bubble up and then finally burst, and then you covered that exploded head with months-old maple syrup and planted it in a field of fire ants ... you'd have an approximate physical manifestation of how Vikings quarterback Daunte Culpepper feels right now. More »
- 1
1-16 of 16 for "Daunte Culpepper"
