It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolute horseshit. But every Friday until we get sick of running them, we'll present to you some of these not-so-shiny gems. All items should be treated as [Sic'd]. Enjoy...

And Here's One Of Her Emails, Too

Excuse me...

I urge you to provide me proof that embedding was permitted from my YouTube account which I assure you wasn't. That's why I'm not going away until you take down the article and compensate me for the escalating level of slander, now up to almost 18,000 views. Have you even asked Barry how he got it? Because no matter what he says, it will be a lie that he took it legally.

I also did not think I would be outing my full identity with a screen name I selected, "PhillySlide," but all that keeps coming up is "SEDonaldson." Your site will not allow me to fix it. That IS your problem to fix now and I do think that is mandatory. I also don't appreciate you telling me that I will "regret" anything. I do not regret standing up for myself. You should regret having a career where you think it is morally ok to defame people. Your parents would be so proud.

Sarah

And Here's Another Lady You Pissed Off

To whom it may concern,

I was connected to your site through a link in a sports article from Yahoo.com. I was thrilled to see a story featuring a female Jayhawks fan with a beautiful back-piece tattoo. However, I was then disgusted to read some of the comments posted below…

AzureTexan

11:25 AM

Hmmm, a Kansas skank. If she clicks her heels three times with enough force, a ping-pong ball will fall out. #kansasjayhawks Reply

Artie Fufkin

09:58 AM

The frat brother with his letters tatooed on his ankle looks like a pus now. Doesn't mean he won't date rape her later. #kansasjayhawks Reply

Hit Bull Win Steak

09:43 AM

alright, the tattoo I can sort of understand, but was the rhinoplasty to get the Jayhawk's beak really necessary? #kansasjayhawks Reply

I then noticed y'all didn't have any women on staff. I would suggest that if you want a female following and fan base (yes there are die hard female fans out there… Look at Jayhawk Kat) you might want to censor out some of these ignorant comments that perpetuate gender stereotypes.. I am fairly sure this email will not go anywhere and nothing will change, but that does not change the fact that by allowing comments like these to be posted you are directly contributing to gender inequity in sport and reinforcing harmful gender stereotypes. At the very least please keep the female sports fan in mind when running future stories and concerning future content.

Thank you for your time,

Liz J. Titus

I Miss You, Too, Philly

So what the fuck? the bigwigs in New York keeping you down from talking shit? I speak for every Philadelphian who read this site and enjoyed the hell out of your writing on the way to being "THE WORLD FUCKING CHAMPIONS" . Talk some shit big boy. Or aren't you really in charge of the site. Sixers beat the Knicks, Birds sent the Giants back up the turnpike with their tails between their legs and now we have a shot to even it up and you ain't a smart ass? Council Rock pussy, Neshaminy '79 says stand up to those New York Gawker fucks and say I'm Philly and I'm Proud!!

Hope to see some better shit-talking tomorrow on the verge of game seven. AND STILL, THE REIGNING WFC's, THE PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,

Mike G.

If Anyone Needs A Brazilian Football Or Soccer Coach

Good Afternoon,
I'm Oilson Silva, live in the city of Curitiba in Brazil.
I am looking for an opportunity to work with football or soccer in the United States of America.
play soccer since I was 11 years.
Currently I'm 27 years old with a great knowledge of football.

I got this address by searching the Internet.
I'm sorry if I'm being inconvenient.
I hope you can help me!
Thank you!
I look forward to a response!

my phone is 41-xxxxxx

And If You Need Assistance Finding These Jobs, Contact Tommy Craggs

Hey Tommy great article, my name is mike im 17 and i just wanted to tell you that im a huge fan of the broncos and a bigger football fan in general but i wanted to ask you how a person would go about trying to get a coaching job in the NFL im really interested.

Thanks again, Mike

And We've Also Started To Get Larry Johnson's Mail

Larry,read the news-report that stated you are suspended from playing because of a remark concerning homosexuals...I urge you NOT to recant or take back your statement even if it cost you your job....God made Male and Female,and never made an in between sex...The whole country is fearful of the homosexual-lesbian coalition...Talk show host,Politicians and many pastors are bowing to this vile sickness called gay....Your stand against this behaviour is correct...God warned of such sexual sin and called it sodomy...All three major religeons condemn such behaviour...Brother Johnson,stand up for your belief and never bow to homosexual-lesbian sin....you may lose your job,but,never lose your character or compromise your integrity... Prophet H Walker(overseer)
True Light Pentecost Church

Oh, Aren't You Clever

Hey A.J.,

So I'm walking to the train tuesday morning and I find out that the neighborhood cat "Suede" has gone missing. Is there any chance you guys can forward this to Psycho T so we can get Suede home. If he can bring Sarah back to that irresponsible black girl, then I think he can find Suede.

Thanks,
Chubs P.

Yes, David Stern Is A Huge Fan Of Nazi Shark

Apparently David Stern reads deadspin. All rejoice.

On the Dan Patrick show David Stern said they can't do anything about Tim Donaghy's book. He hasn't read the whole book. "I have read the excerpts that were on Deadspin," Stern said.

The union's 57 refs have a vote scheduled for Friday and will likely approve the deal, according to the New York Times' Howard Beck. The sticking points had been the referees' pension plan and severance package, and the two sides were reportedly only $700,000 apart before negotiations broke down. That represents just a shade over .02 percent of NBA revenue, a tiny pot over which David Stern nevertheless chose to scratch and claw, not because the league is so hard up for cash that it has to take it out of its referees' pockets, but because Stern, with NBA-NBPA collective-bargaining talks underway, wanted to make a big show of scratching and clawing.

This has long been Stern's m.o. (Remember: He came out of Proskauer Rose, a union-busting firm that now basically serves as a farm system for sports suits.) I know we're all supposed to genuflect at his feet for launching the NBA into the stratosphere, but he has now presided over three player lockouts and two referee lockouts and in the process dramatically changed the character of the league he inherited from Larry O'Brien (the guy who really did launch the NBA into the stratosphere, no matter how many tape-delay jokes Bill Simmons makes). There was labor peace before Stern, and it probably saved the league, and now there isn't, and it has cost not only half of one season but a great deal of the league's public-relations mojo (the demonization of NBA players as greedhead thugs has its roots in the labor strife of the 1990s; nobody trashed the players harder than the people who paid them). The NBA is a surly place now, and the guy who's running it has no qualms about throwing a few weaklings up against the wall, just to show everyone how tough he is.

N.B.A. Reaches a Deal With the Referees Union [The New York Times]

Reports Marc Stein:

The NBA's most recent contract with its 60-plus referees expired Sept. 1 and Tuesday's bargaining session in New York was called to an abrupt halt by commissioner David Stern, according to one source with knowledge of the talks.

No further talks are scheduled between the sides with only 22 days before the league's first scheduled exhibition game Oct. 1. The likelihood that replacement refs will be needed for that game — Denver at Utah — has "increased dramatically," according to the source.

According to ESPN, Stern wants to slash the $32 million referee budget by 10 percent; the refs have reportedly offered a reduction of $2.5 million, about $700,000 shy of the NBA's benchmark. Of course, as Stein notes, the impasse may have less to do with money than with Stern's desire to appear menacing just as collective-bargaining talks with the players get underway. He's basically doing a Haka dance on top of the negotiating table.

If the league does wind up trucking in scab referees, few people will mourn. Just look at the comments appended to Stein's story, which are mostly a variation on, "Well, they couldn't be any worse." (The argument could be made that the league's incessant mommying of its referees caused some of the very problems that fans instinctively blame on the zebras. The flopping plague, for instance, has a lot to do with the NBA's crackdown on botched non-calls, which gave refs incentive to over-officiate.) In 1995, the league locked out its referees until mid-December, using officials from the CBA and other minor leagues. And, as the Orlando Sentinel found when the lockout finally ended, the scabs were, in fact, worse:

Fighting was up, calls were missed and confusion was not unusual. In November, the league assessed $202,500 in fines and 26 games were lost to suspensions. All last season, there were only 22 games lost and only $147,000 in fines were assessed.

But no one likes referees, and now, after Tim Donaghy, no one trusts them either, which is why Stern will get away with trampling them, no matter that whistle-happy scabs could very well make NBA games sound like bird sanctuaries.

Replacement refs for NBA? [ESPN]
NBA officials see themselves in no-win situations [ESPN]

Blake Griffin, No. 1

Patti says: "He's not even really wanting to shake hands with the commissioner. He's not turning his body or extending his arm out. The commissioner has to do all the work. It ends up looking like Blake Griffin is holding a baseball bat rather than shaking a hand."

Hasheem Thabeet, No. 2

Patti says: "Hasheem looks like a parent looking at a child. His facial expression, his smile is not, 'Ooh, this is an honor.' It's, 'Oh, you're a little boy, commissioner.' His outer hand is on the commissioner's arm. That's a power handshake. That shows he feels powerful, in control. He's literally making him move the way he wants him to move."

Tyreke Evans, No. 4

Patti says: "Tyreke has his shoulders back and away, but his head is down. This is a conflicted movement. He's not comfortable and happy and in the moment. He's just kind of awkward. The commissioner looks much more confident, sure of himself. But Tyreke looks like he doesn't know what he's supposed to do. That index finger is really significant. You put out that finger when you're a little bit fearful."

Ricky Rubio, No. 5

Patti says: "He's shy. Even though he has a nice smile on his face, there's some stiffness to it. He's happy, but there's tension in this moment for him. The one thing that he is doing: He's giving a really nice, full handshake. He's connected to the commissioner. The other guys, it was more for show."

Jonny Flynn, No. 6

Patti says: "This is my favorite. He's not only joyful, but his whole body is leaning in toward the commissioner. He's actually putting weight on the commissioner, letting go of some of his power with that huge slant. He's lifting the commissioner's hand up a little bit as he's doing this. This is a totally different level of warmth."

Stephen Curry, No. 7

Patti says: "He's totally off-balance in this moment, and you see that throughout the whole body. His left arm is out to his side, reaching in the other direction — it's like he wants to be someplace else. There's a lot of tension around the head. He's not happy. He's feeling very awkward and doesn't want to be in this place."

Tyler Hansbrough, No. 13

Patti says: "This is the first one where we've seen a lot of stiffness around the commissioner's mouth. He's forcing a smile. Maybe he's been doing handshakes for awhile and has to fake it. And Tyler is just kind of, 'Uhhhh, God.'"

Jrue Holiday, No. 17

Patti says: "Wow. His posture is so different. That's the posture of somebody who was in the ROTC or the church, or who was raised by someone religious. Very erect, very proud bearing. His clasp on the commissioner is very warm. It surrounds the hand. He's not mad. He's not upset. He's not super-happy. He's just more self-contained and just very respectful."

At the very least, this one is sure to get a little more traction than U.S. Rep. Steve Cohen's "vestige of slavery" line of attack. Writes Pechman:

Surprisingly lost in the discussion about whether age limits are appropriate for the NBA draft is the fact that many state laws prohibit employment discrimination against individuals who are eighteen or over. As playing in the NBA is employment - albeit a dream job - eighteen year olds are deprived of their potential employment and are thus victims of age discrimination. In New York, for example, the New York State Human Rights Law prohibits employers from refusing to hire or employ an "individual eighteen years of age or older… because of such individual's age." The NBA, and its players' union, are subject to compliance with all New York employment laws, as well as other state laws which prohibit discrimination based on age.

So the lawyers hate the rule. The economists hate the rule. A Tennessee congressman hates the rule. Bob Knight hates the rule. Greg Oden hates the rule. Hell, even Dick Vitale, who never offers an opinion that can't be expressed via catchphrase, hates the rule. Yes, that's right: The rule is so bad even Dick Vitale makes sense.

And David Stern's response? He wants to raise the age minimum to 20. This is what the modern NBA has become: a league where the suits are the ones constantly breaking the law. Awesome, baby.

The NBA Age Limit and the Employment Discrimination Laws [BWP Employment Law]

Falk has made a lot of people—including himself—very rich by understanding just how to make NBA owners part with their money, so it's safe to say his opinion on the matter carries some weight. The league is struggling financially, teams are losing money, and when the collective bargaining agreement expires in 2011, Falk says that David Stern will be looking to cram quite a few concessions down the players' throats. And he will win.

How extreme? Falk said he believed Stern, the commissioner, would push for a hard salary cap, shorter contracts, a higher age limit on incoming players, elimination of the midlevel cap exception and an overall reduction in the players' percentage of revenue. And, Falk said, Stern will probably get what he wants.

"The owners have the economic wherewithal to shut the thing down for two years, whatever it takes, to get a system that will work long term," he said in an extensive interview to discuss his new book. "The players do not have the economic wherewithal to sit out one year."

Yeah, that's sounds about right. The 1998 lockout was a disaster for the players and their union leadership has not improved much since then. Plus, even Stern's biggest critics admit that he is a diabolical genius, so maybe the players should do their best to play ball and perhaps he'll go easy on them. You know, maybe they could do their hair up nice and try to smell pretty at the negotiating table?

Falk's Blunt Warning About Future of N.B.A. [NY Times]

David Stern extended an olive branch covered in thorns, rash-inducing poison, and small arms fire to those Seattle fans still slightly miffed at recent events:

"You know, we have something over 900 games available on NBA League Pass, either on cable or satellite, and potentially broadband and NBA TV where we have four games a week," he said. "So there's a lot out there in terms of content and a lot of an ability to follow our league. If they are so inclined, then we certainly invite them and welcome them."

You know, like people in Helena, Montana, do. You'll be a big city again someday, Seattle!

Friday night, we received a PDF of a man's heart breaking. He asked us to do with it what we desired. He doesn't have a blog; he doesn't have a book to sell. Dude just needed to tell someone how he felt. We won't belabor this point much once the season has started. We don't necessarily agree with everything he said. However, the least we can do is publish it.

So, NBA fans and Seattle denizens, we grant the floor to one David Betz from Seattle, WA.
———————————-
To: NBA Commissioner David Stern
RE: NBA Fan Resignation Letter

24 October, 2008

Dear Commissioner Stern:
In the off chance that this gets past your “disgruntled Seattle Supersonics fan” mail dumpster, I’d like to take a minute of your time to present you with my NBA Fan Resignation Letter.

I was a thirteen year old kid growing up in Ohio, wearing Chuck Taylor Converse when I talked my dad into taking me to my first live NBA game in Cleveland Arena, a hockey venue that was then home to the Cleveland Cavaliers. I remember seeing Bob “Butterbean” Love walk in through the front door and fan turnstiles with his Chicago Bulls gym bag. This was two NBA Commissioners before you. This was pre-headbands (the first time around), pre-tag lines, pre-shoe deals, pre-Nike, pre-ESPN, pre-baggy shorts, pre-tattoos, pre-cable, pre-Internet. It was old school.

I'm 51 years old now, and I have been a dedicated NBA fan for longer than you've been commissioner, and longer than the Sonics were a team. I have not been a corporate box customer, or a multi-season ticket holder, but I have been a valuable customer that your marketing people might refer to as an advocate or evangelist. To complete that marketing demographic: I have a graduate degree, discretionary income, cable and high-speed internet connections. I’ve converted passive NBA fans to active NBA fans. I’ve watched thousands of games both in-person and on TV. I’ve seen 44 of your “Top 50” players of all-time play the game. I watched Jerry West play before he became the logo for your league.

I was the beneficiary of league expansion, embracing the Cleveland Cavaliers as my then home team thirty-eight years ago. I was thrilled when the ABA merger brought Dr. J, Moses Malone, George Gervin, and Artis Gilmore (not to mention the slam-dunk contest and the 3-point shot) to the NBA. I’ve experienced the growth of the league from 18 to 30 teams and go from a sleepy niche sport to a global brand.

I also witnessed the migration of teams like the Jazz, Kings, Hornets, and Braves, and Grizzlies. In almost every case, these were younger franchises moving towards expanding markets, reflecting America’s population migration. (Which also brought me west to Seattle 15 years ago).

In all of my years, I cannot recall a backwards franchise erasure or a league equity mistake like the one you just perpetrated with the Seattle Supersonics. You remember the story; the new ownership wanted the team to remain in Seattle, but just could not find a satisfactory venue. They had no choice but to take the team back to their home in Oklahoma. Who could blame them?

Mr. Stern, I don’t for one second believe that ours was a venue or a market problem here in Seattle. The real problems were a dysfunctional product and leadership, a blatant disregard for the truth, and complete betrayal of the public trust.

Since this is my exit interview, I’d like to give you some feedback on what constitutes a satisfactory venue for this fan. Over the past five decades, I have attended NBA games in New York, New Jersey, Charlotte, San Antonio, Los Angeles, Golden State, and Seattle. I’ve experienced NBA games from club seats, corporate boxes, courtside, nosebleed, and every other seat in between.

Here is what I need from an NBA venue when I go to a game with a friend or family member:

1. Easy access to tickets and transit to the game
2. Friendly and helpful staff
3. Affordable snacks and a beer
4. Enough concessions and restrooms so I don't have to miss the game in a queue
5. Easy site lines for the court, replays, game score, and current statistics
6. To feel safe outside the arena after the game

The last time I was at Key Arena—in fact every time I was at Key Arena—all of those needs were met. (As an aside, I DON'T require a dance team, a pyrotechnic player introduction, an indoor blimp, or concourse credit-card solicitations, all of which have become emblematic of league predictability and conformity.)

One final critical point extends beyond a venue experience, and usually goes without saying; as a fan, I also want an honest ownership, working intelligently with the front office, coaching staff and the league, to put together the best team possible. THIS is where the deal breaker occurred in Seattle, not because of our venue.

In my life as an NBA fan, I’ve defended the game in conversation at innumerable stadiums, sports bars, golf courses, and tennis courts. The basic perspective of my colleagues, who consider themselves sports fans, just not NBA fans—is that the NBA is simply a bunch of selfish millionaires getting over on each other. They had no interest in watching a game, believing that the only time that matters is the last two minutes, which they would argue, could last for an hour. I would counter with observations about the amazing athleticism, the fierce competition, the unique styles of play, the community building connection, and the transcendent beauty of a team-game well played.

Based on my experience in Seattle this past year, I now have to side with my colleagues. The NBA IS ABSOLUTELY a bunch of selfish millionaires trying to get over on each other, and in Seattle’s case, their fans, city, and community as well.

When the inappropriate behavior of a few individuals undermines the game, the league, or the Brand, that is usually when the Commissioner’s office steps in. I saw Michael Jordan solve your post-Bird/Magic void, when you were struggling with an attendant thug and drug perception problem. I experienced first hand when your predecessor stepped in to create the "Ted Stepien Rule" to prevent any incompetent owner from driving a franchise into the ground with unconscionable trades.

That is why it’s been amazingly disappointing for me to witness your decisions and your demeanor throughout the Seattle franchise sale, dismantling and move. What happened here makes you complicit in just the sort of hegemony, short sightedness, and thuggery that your office was created to police.

Commissioner, you failed me, my team, my city, and the league. I quit.

This is a shout out to any NBA fan in any other NBA city. If you think this can't happen to you and your city, or if you think ownership can be trusted with the public welfare, or if you think a new sports venue and lots of season ticket buyers means franchise security—think again. If you believe your team belongs to your city and that your team’s heritage would never be violated, you are mistaken. It's not about the venue, the product, or the heritage.

If the money is there and the egos align, as they did in Seattle, any and all NBA teams are for sale.

I am here to tell you that 41 years of blood, sweat, tears, and a championship banner mean NOTHING to this commissioner or his league.

With that I am hereby resigning my life-long fan seat to the NBA.

Game over, Commissioner.

David Betz
Former NBA fan Seattle, Washington October 24, 2008
—————————————————

A generous offer from The David. [Bend It Like Bennett]

“We would’ve been already thrown out of the Olympics,” he told Yahoo! Sports. “At least, we wouldn’t have been able to come back to the U.S. …There would be suspensions.”

And for his European peers, well, Kidd suggested, “They won’t do anything to them. It’s a double standard.”

Think Jason Kidd is the only person associated with the NBA who believes there's a two-tier system at work here? Well, at least one NBA GM agrees. “The simple question is, ‘Would Stern and the league hold the American players accountable?’ And I think the answer to that is yes...So why wouldn’t he hold the ‘other’ NBA players accountable – unless the rules only apply to the American players.”

Because in David Stern's globalized NBA it's not just Americans who his players have to avoid offending.

If you asked any Celtics fan before Game 3 last night how he/she felt about the game, they all had the same thought: "The NBA's not gonna let this be a sweep." Last night's game doesn't seem to have provided any evidence of that, but the fact that such a statement could be made, and responded to with nods of recognition, is why Donaghy's claim gained any traction at all.

Because it shouldn't have. Donaghy is no dummy; he knows Game 6 of the 2002 Western Conference Finals has been debated for years — even Ralph Nader was involved! — and that retroactive claims that the fix was in will resonate even stronger. But that doesn't make them true. The problems that the NBA have with its image and David Stern's mild shadiness are real, and should be dealt with. But Tim Donaghy trying to reduce his sentence via a well-timed publicity stunt has nothing to do with that.

That said: This series is totally going seven games. No matter what.

We missed Bill Simmons' impassioned work for Sonics fans while we were on vacation, but it's really pretty excellent stuff, and exactly what a national sports columnist should be doing with his platform. Not that anyone will notice, or do anything, or care.

The WNBA — apparently the negotiations weren't just done by David Stern, which is probably why there's still a league — and its players agreed on a six-year deal that will go through 2013. And by that time, the league will have finally broken through, totally.

One of the keys to the deal? An extension of the league's deal with ESPN, which will keep games on the network for eight more years.

So don't worry: Labor strife has not taken over the WNBA. One league remains pure.

New 2008 WNBA Collective Bargaining Agreement [Inside Hoops]

As The Sporting News' — yes, it's still around! — Sean Deveney points out, nothing much is going to happen today. Donaghy's going to walk up to a judge here in Brooklyn, say, "I plead guilty" and then he's going to be escorted out of the room. That's the extent of it.

Eventually we'll figure out what all went down, but as for Donaghy admitting he's guilty, well, David Stern already crucified him in the court of public opinion anyway. We're not sure how much jail time he's gonna serve, but no one really cares about that; we just want to know which games he was fixing, and if he fixed them for our bets, or against them.

Donaghy's Guilty Plea Isn't A Big Deal [The Sporting News]

• Boy, Stern seems pretty certain of Donaghy's guilt, doesn't he? There wasn't much doubt there at all; contrast that to how baseball has handled Barry Bonds, or the NFL has dealt with Michael Vick. Either Stern is being reckless, or he knows a lot more than he's letting on. It's Stern, so we're assuming the latter.

• NBA refs of Donaghy's status make $260,000 a year. Hmm.

• As True Hoop points out, Stern has Vegas' back, to say the last. Please don't not let these gambling accusations remind you of, you know, the All-Star Game, or that we desperately want a team in Vegas. TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT MATTERS.

On the whole, we respected how Stern handled the situation. But man, this thing, it's far from over.

Because we're sitting in our parents' basement in our underwear, we thought we'd do that the kids call a "live blog," because there's nothing more exciting than a live blog of a guy talking into a microphone.

After the jump, all kinds of David Stern goodness.

—————————-

11:53. OK. We have a whole other site to work on it now and therefore gotta get back to it. Frankly, you all are doing a rather outstanding job on your own in the comments. We've come away impressed by Stern in this press conference ... not that it's gonna stop him from being repeatedly hammered in every newspaper in the country for the next two months. At least.

11:50. Stern uses the old "when did I stop beating my wife?" comment to bat down a leading question from the Newark Star Ledger. We understand what he's saying ... but we're not sure everyone did.

11:48. A WNBA reference. Nice.

11:45. Excellent question from Liz Robbins from The New York Times, which says, essentially: You've fined players for criticizing officials before. How you feel about that now? Stern responds by calling Donaghy," a rouge, isolated criminal." OK.

11:43. After this press conference, Stern is heading over to the NBA Family Picnic. Boy, that's gonna be one inspired potato sack race. What a joyous occasion.

11:40. After two solid, factual questions, Rachel Nichols from ESPN pops up. And what a question she has: "Can you take us through the range of emotions you went through when you found out about this?" CHRIST. Hey, Rachel: You're not a sideline reporter right now. Is that really the only question you know how to ask? The guy from Bloomberg News just ate his own tie.

11:37. Questions! Who let the Bloomberg News guy in? Stern's back on the "rogue employee" motif. Seriously, he's going to have Donaghy killed; he's treating him as Osama, except, you know, you can catch Donaghy.

11:34. Stern says "this is the most serious situation and worst situation I have ever experienced, either as a fan of the NBA, a lawyer for the NBA or as commissioner of the NBA." And then he makes a pledge to get to the bottom of this, regardless of cost. And we absolutely do not doubt that. We're not a game-fixing referee, and we're pretty scared right now.

11:32. Stern emphasizes that "that's all he's been told." He seems to be in the dark about a lot of what's happening, but he's being as open as one could possibly imagine in this spot. He emphasizes that he had no idea Donaghy might have been gambling during the season, and if he had, he would have been fired. (And shot. And eaten alive.)

11:30. "On July 9, Mr. Donaghy resigned." Well, that's nice! "Suffice it to say, we would have liked to have terminated him earlier." The time period being investigated, says Stern is the last two years. He refereed 139 regular season games, eight playoff games and four preseason games. Stern makes this clear: "He is the only referee accused."

11:27. We think he's licking his chops. "He is accused of betting on games in the NBA. We're not positive that it's games that he works, though I understand that there are accusations that there were games that he worked. He may have bet on other games in which he didn't work. I understand that he is accused of providing information to others for the purpose of allowing them to profit on betting on NBA games. I don't know the number of games. I don't know which games. Until this moment, I have no deployed the people necessary to do the work that would satisfy us. I felt constrained by the FBI office to keep this as quiet as possible."

11:24. Stern says the FBI called him on June 20 2007 about a referee alleged to be betting on games. Stern says he's pleased with the cooperation of the FBI and their "informing us of the danger that is here." But because they're still helping, he says, "he can continue not to comment on the ongoing investigation." Stern's been pretty open so far, and he's not stopping now. "I'm gonna give you the best of my understand of what Mr. Donaghy stands accused of." So here goes.

11:22. Stern says the league told Donaghy in 2005 that he wouldn't be doing the next round of playoffs because they were not happy with his neighbor behavior. Then he moved to Florida and "there were no more reports of any kind." Stern's detailing that his league — kind of mob-like, actually — watched Donaghy like a hawk for years and never saw any problems. Which is fascinating, whether the allegations are true or not.

11:20. Stern says an allegation was made that Donaghy was making bets at The Borgata in Atlantic City (which doesn't have sports betting). Donaghy denied it, and the NBA found no proof that he'd been there. "The only thing that persisted was this ongoing dispute with his neighbors, and we informed him that this made us unhappy."

11:17. Finally, Donaghy comes up. Stern brings up that "dispute with this neighbor" in 2005. He says the league hired an investigator to look into the complaint, and Donaghy told the league the allegations with him were untrue. Thankfully, that guy don't lie.

11:13. Contrary to this Slate column, Stern says the league has a representative in Vegas who informs them when there are odd betting patterns. Wait: There are NBA representatives who don't live in Vegas?

11:11. It's pretty awesome that every time ESPN shows footage of Donaghy, he's shown arguing with a player. This reminds us of "The Naked Gun" jumbotron montage; we fully expect him to be attacked by a tiger in a second. Stern still isn't saying anything.

11:09. Stern says he has security people from "the secret service, the U.S. Army and the New York City police department." We hope they all wear camouflage. He's also droning on. We keep waiting for him to make some sort of statement, you know, about what's going on.

11:07. Stern, looking far more uncertain than he usually looks, is going through the procedures to make sure refs don't, you know, try to fix games. He sounds a little like John Skipper in that ESPN memo. He actually mentions "pamphlets." Yeah, well, that worked.

11:06. Opening statement from Stern. He doesn't look happy. He talks about how he'd "rather not have this press conference, but we felt an obligation." Hey, thanks!

11:05. Here comes Stern. He's shorter than everyone in the room, but he always looks somehow taller.

11:03. Skip Bayless is talking. We're gonna mute this until The Commish comes on.

Some may believe this scandal isn't as large as it seems, but we have to disagree. Donaghy, who's scheduled to give himself up to the feds as early as today or tomorrow, might very well spill the beans about some other scandals, and if this thing explodes any farther, well, the whole league could be looking at the biggest crisis it has ever faced. (And then some, really.)

Some gambling experts who have analyzed the data believe there's 95 percent likelihood that something untoward was going on in Donaghy's games. We fear, if they look even deeper, they may find even more nefariousness, perhaps some that's even worse. This, friends, is far from over.

One Man Out, One League In Trouble [ESPN]
NBA Ref Betting? 95% Proof Of Abnormal Behavior [Webwire]

The FBI is investigating an NBA referee who allegedly was betting on basketball games - including ones he was officiating during the past two seasons - as part of an organized-crime probe in the Big Apple

The investigation, which began more than a year ago, is zeroing in on blockbuster allegations that the referee was making calls that affected the point spread to guarantee that he - and the hoods who had their hooks in him - cashed in on large bets.

You can always play the fun guessing game — Violet Palmer! Totally! — but The Feed, just for fun, digs up Covers' list of referee spread statistics. One name does seem to be sticking out ... but that's no proof of nothin'. You might be hearing a bit more about this in the next few weeks, as David Stern sits alone in his office, flicking his lights on ... and off ... and on ... and off.

Looks Like The NBA Picked The Wrong Week To Stop Sniffing Glue [The Feed]
Referee Profiles [Covers]

(UPDATE: The ref in question seems to be Tim Donaghy.)

The Silna brothers, Ozzie and Dan, learned that they'll be paid some $ 136 million over the next eight years. The checks will be coming from the Denver Nuggets, the San Antonio Spurs, the New Jersey Nets and the Indiana Pacers.

CNBC's Darren Rovell wasn't able to get the Silna brothers to talk — they're busy eating $100 bill sandwiches — but he's still got a compendium of outstanding stories. These guys are geniuses, and David Stern surely can't wait for them to die.

Silna Family "Fortune" And The Draft [CNBC]
Nice Work If You Can Get It [Deadspin]

But what happened, as you saw, was the Suns playing their hearts out, squeezing every last bit out ... but falling just short because, well, because they only had six players because two of their players were gone because David Stern made a terrible decision that he very well might never live down. (Seriously, we can't think of a time that Stern has taken more justified heat that this; we're not sure he quite realizes yet, actually, how this prominent a part of his epitaph this decision will be if San Antonio wins this series.) The Suns lost because Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw weren't there. They would have won otherwise. It is impossible to argue otherwise.

The details of the game almost seem irrelevant at this point, which, of course, is exactly the problem. And Stern canceled his plans to be in Phoenix last night, choosing the Cleveland-New Jersey game instead. Wise, probably, and again, something that he still doesn't realize is gonna end up on that epitaph.

Stern's Nightmare Becomes Reality [100 Percent Injury Rate]
Proud To Be Me [Free Darko]

NBA referee Joey Crawford has been indefinitely suspended for improper conduct toward Tim Duncan during the San Antonio Spurs at Dallas Mavericks game on April 15, it was announced today by NBA Commissioner David Stern. The conduct included Crawford's assessment of a second technical foul and ejection of Duncan following laughter by the player while he was seated on the bench, and inappropriate comments made to Duncan during the game. Crawford's suspension will cover at least the remainder of the 2006-07 season, including the NBA Playoffs and Finals.

Commissioner David Stern said that the suspension was not just for the Duncan incident but also "in light of similar prior acts by this official." The whole matter was rather ridiculous, but we weren't aware that the NBA held referees accountable ... that's kind of the fun of it, isn't it?

Oh, and DON'T EMAIL MARK CUBAN ABOUT THIS.

NBA Referee Joey Crawford Suspended [NBA.com]
Tim Duncan, Joe Crawford And The NBA [Blog Maverick]