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tampering with goldenballs
The Post In Which We Are Required To Examine David Beckham's Man-Parts
Only in San Francisco will you find a 100-foot poster of David Beckham in his underpants: A new, proud landmark here to rival the Golden Gate Bridge, the Transamerica Pyramid and Coit Tower. But unlike the latter two, which are clearly all natural, certain portions of Beckham's gigantic likeness may have been, well, enhanced. The Daily Mail of London picks up the investigation. More »
baby beckham's big bird
Staying With the Center Finger Motif, If We May
The little tyke held by David "Hunter Thompson" Beckham? His name is Cruz, and he's this many [holds up three fingers] years old. And he wuvs the cameraman [takes down two fingers] thiiiiiiis much. More »
david hirshey is the closer
Becks: Shalom, Brother
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer.
I'm kvelling, and not just because I'm going to be eating matzo all next week. No, the reason I'm feeling so good is that David Beckham is sending his son Cruz to a Jewish nursery school in Los Angeles.
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nba closer
The Beckham Men Enjoy Our Finest Athletes
• The Lakers still have a shot at catching the Hornets for the top spot in the Western Conference, and they came out playing like a team that wants homecourt advantage. LA outscored New Orleans 39-20 in the first quarter before the Hornets tenacious second half comeback. However, the Lakers persevered down the stretch en route to a 107-104 win. Chris Paul put up a ridiculous 15/17/5/4 line and Peja filled it up, but they couldn't match the output of Kobe, Pau, and Lamar. The Laker trio combined for 46/32/14, moving them within half a game of the Hornets. More »
david hirshey is the closer
David Beckham Is Allegedly Back In The MLS
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer.
It's not often that I plan my Saturday night around watching a MLS game, especially when it kicks off right when my man Tyler Hansbrough is in the midst of giving little Ricky Pitino a facial for the ages. But this was not just any MLS game, it was the showcase match of the league's opening weekend, and it involved a certain English underwear model who plays for the LA Galaxy and, who from all accounts, was finally healthy and ready to justify his "$250 million" hype as the latest Messiah of American Soccer.
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david hirshey is the closer
David Beckham, Maradona And The Stomping Of Scorpions
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer.
I was in a tumbleweed diner in the middle of the Arizona desert on my way to to witness Michael Strahan doing things to Tom Brady's testicles that Giselle Bundchen probably never tried. I looked up at the white-haired waitress and saw tears running down her leathery face. She, too, had heard the news that David Beckham had been denied his 100th cap by the mean new England coach Fabio Capello.
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david hirshey is the closer
One Man's Very Special 25th Birthday
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer.
Everyone celebrates their 25th birthday in their own special way. Britney went on a Hollywood bender with Paris and flashed her ass to the paparazzi. Gilbert Arenas had Busta Rhymes, Lil SWayne, TI and The Game perform at the party Diddy threw for Agent Zero and 7,500 of his closest friends. And Harold Rosengarten got to watch Arsenal play Burnley in the third round of the FA Cup yesterday with me at Kinsale Tavern.
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not that there's anything wrong with that
David Beckham Secure In His Manhood/Wears Ballet Shoes
Yes dammit, David Beckham is a metrosexual. Let him shout it from the rooftops! At last he is free, FREE! La la la la la la (skips away, stripping off clothing). In an interview on British radio on Monday, Beckham not only said that he is proud to be a gay icon, but that his wife dresses him. Oh, there's more. More »
Ever wonder what the Beckhams would look like if they were poor? Of course you have. [Ordinary Stars via The Offside] (Bonus: Hulk Hogan)
david beckham
What Went Wrong With Beckham And The MLS?
This is the main picture you see of David Beckham anymore; sitting in a luxury box with his oddly named children, watching his "teammates" of the LA Galaxy play (and lose) without him. The rumors about Beckham being "lent" to England appear to be without merit, but, clearly, Beckham's first year in the U.S. has been a total washout. Who's to blame? More »
only scientology can save us now
Osama Bin Drinkin' Is More Like It
"Hi, it's me again sports fans. Just to prove how many different kinds of crazy we are here here in the cave, we have now called for the deaths of decadent sexpots David Beckham, Wayne Rooney and Thierry Henry. Also, Justin Timberlake and P. Diddy have been added to the list. Act now, for these eternal blessings from God will not last long. More »
david hirshey is the closer
Only In New Jersey, Kids
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin and PLAY Magazine about soccer.
Here are two things I never thought I'd see in my lifetime: a scalper at an MLS game shouting "who needs tickets, who needs tickets" to people who actually did, and a mostly professional soccer score, 5-4, that matched Tom Cruise's height. Yet, in one surreal evening, I witnessed both. Only in New Jersey kids, only in New Jersey.
It's not that I didn't expect to encounter a frisson of pandemonium when Goldenballs' magical mystery tour rolled into Giants Stadium, I just never anticipated the seismic nature of the event. Soccer historians — both of them — will tell you that the last time this many fans — 66,237 — paid to see two American teams was 27 years ago, when the Cosmos were snorting themselves silly at Studio 54. Back then, it only cost you $20 to boo the shit out of Giorgio Chinaglia; whereas on Saturday night someone offered me $200 for my $50 seat (believe me, I thought hard about it before remembering that I'm already under investigation for my role in the Bad Jewz Kennel) for the privilege of peeing on Beckham's parade.
Who would have thunk it? The man whom American soccer is hoping will rescue it from a tsunami of indifference being jeered by the Red Bulls faithful, perhaps resentful of the 55,000 extra fans who had intruded on their unmolested privacy. Ever the gentleman, Beckham looked up at the hecklers shouting "who are ya? who are ya?" put a finger to his lips and proceeded to flight perfectly weighted balls onto the heads of his teammates that screamed "if you can't nod this into the back of the net, you're even more of a stinking heap of MLS dung that I thought."
david beckham
As Long As You Don't Pan Back, It's Amazing
Sports By Brooks points out what many missed after David Beckham's first MLS goal the other night: There were hardly anybody in the stands. Attendance was 17,223 at an arena that holds 27,000, and reports are there were 8,000 tickets given away. We doubt this will be a problem at the Meadowlands this weekend, but it's probably still worth noting. Of course, now that people know he's actually playing ...
david hirshey is the closer
Lots Of Announcers Saying "Bend It"
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer.
Any questions? I trust all of you who participated in the month-long orgy of Becklash after Goldenballs landed on our fair shores and healed his ankle poolside at Tom and Katie's will at least stay quiet for another week and let the rest of us enjoy last night's Hollywood moment.
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beckham comes alive
